Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VI....Share your worries and knicker checking stories here...

[SparkyMalarky]

Will this do?

Great news about the scan villagemum !

dan - you are a very good girl getting food ready in the freezer. I keep meaning to, but haven't quite managed it yet. Am hoping the food fairies will arrive after ds's birth, obviously.

sparky - I was bang on my due date (per dating scan) with dd and the same would suit me this time, as I could do with a little breather!

tsom - yes, the insomnia is a bugger. I'm knackered, but I can't seem to manage a decent stretch of sleep at night. The good thing to be said about the big gap I now have (unwillingly) between my dcs is that I will be able to catch up on some sleep while dd is at school.

scotlass - yes, the childbirth thing has definitely come back to haunt me, but the hypnobirthing is helping. And breathe.....

Oh and for some reason I have become incredibly flatulent - but I think it is about dh had a taste of his own medicine...

dbno me too on the flatulence front! I have to leave the room myself sometimes!!

dan - I agree with tsom - it does sound like you're nesting how exciting....I never got that with DS, just an urge to eat more chocolate (Sparky ponders if that was the reason she gain 4 stone last time......)

tsom - that bug sounds grim - are you feeling better now? there are so many things going around that it's a miracle if you don't get something...How do you feel about the possibility of another CS? was it an em or el last time?

I've only got one DS but was quite sure that I am particularly girly (v. strong fondness for Cath Kidston and handbags!) I would be landed with a house full of sporty lads Consequently am thrilled that I will be able to buy some pink things!!

DBNO, you and dan are reminding me of all the things I have to look forward to again..insomnia and wind ....and I am much more scared of labour this time - Dan - are you all set up for your HB? A friend had one last year and had a huge huge baby in a birthing pool with just gas and air and (most importantly) no stitches! So it can be done. What do you do in the hypnobirthing DBNO? How does it work?

Feel rather smug today as managed to do my pregnancy yoga DVD this morning and go for a walk this afternoon...I might have to treat myself with some cheesecake later....I wonder if I can pass it off as a craving rather than just greed (hmmmmm, Sparky needs to remind herself about the 4 stone again.....)

PS - yes tsom - this PG feels very different. I'm not 'blooming' like I did with PG, very dry skin, (but lots of spots on my face), nails are all splitting, much less energy. Could just be that I have a toddler to look after this time of course!

Sparky you earned the cheesecake so go for it!

I am feeling anxiuos about the birth and worried that that might lead me to chicken out and go to hosp...need to read some positive birth stories. Its funny, a friend of mine had to have a c section cos of previous surgery and I spent so much time reassuring her that it was fine/positive/etc that I think I brainwashed myself into thinking it's the positive route! So I am now trying to get that all back out of my head and think about the positives of a vaginal birth:

• what we are designed for
• what the babe is expecting
• better recovery time (hopefully) than major surgery
• no scar
• no major surgery come to think of it..
• lots of people have good ones
• will be able to hold her/pick her up/use sling/drive etc quicker/immediately
• good story to tell!

Okay - that helped a bit! Best go have some choc now. feel free to remind me of more for this list if you have any!

not from experience, but I hear there is a HUGE sense of achievement afterwards....and a massive rush of hormones which you miss out on with a CS

just fell off a step and landed on my bum banging my hand in the process...feel like a prize fool.....

Hi All

Felt much better after the stomach cramps/dodgy tummy so made it to the active birth workshop thing feeling fine. Then woke up in the middle of the night and was violently sick but then went back to sleep and was sick a couple more times this morning but they were more like my usual (still happening) morning sickness but then I threw up a load of water which got me worried that I wasn't going to be able to keep fluids down. Anyway, enough of my insides. I seem to, touch wood, have stopped vomming, dd had a party around the corner which I managed to dump her at and have a snooze so feel much better. Still not convinced its a bug but we'll see if dd or dh come down with it (am so hoping not - dd obviously its not nice and dh has only just made it back to work (and part time at that) after 4 months off sick so he could really do without it. Ah well...

Oh god, have I really written that much about a bad stomach. Sorry everyone....

Now more interesting things hopefully - the workshop was good. Some positioning stuff but mainly trying to instil a positive attitude that it can be done, that you must challenge the midwives and take control. Sparky - I was unsure whether to go for the VBAC but on a pratical note, I want to get back on form as soon as possible esp. when dh won't be able to take too much time off and also I think I want to give it a go to see if I can do it. If it ends in C-sec then so be it - this baby was a long time coming and it will like a massive achievement however s/he decides to come into the world.

I have found this pregnancy so much harder too - still having occasional morning sickness at 31 weeks, v. dry skin, knackered all the time (never did bloom) but its worth it (I keep telling myself).

DBNO - I think you've made the right decision with the soft play party. Its entirely what I intended to do this time but then I counted up the numbers of siblings that will come (old friends with children rather than nursery friends' siblings) and I decided to be tight and not pay £10 a head for those who were 1. So, I went for the church hall option so numbers weren't an issue which means I'm ending up with 25 4ish year olds and about 6 toddlers. I do have an entertainer for an hour and I do have grandparents and friends on hand to help so I hope it will be ok. In a similar vein - I decided to buy the cake this time as I'm fed up of planning to make it and then getting v. stressed the night before as I'm trying to mould cake into a butterfly. However, dd decided she wanted one of these barbie popping out of a cake type ideas and they are £50 to order . So, have been researching cake tins, cheap barbies etc...

Blimey, have waffled, will go now... waves to everyone...

evening all,

glad you're feeling better wheelybug.
Dan just remember if you deliver at home you will be relaxed in your own environment (often things progress better at home because you are more comfortable and not as tense as in hospital). After you have your gorgeous baby you can cuddle up in your own bed and recover - Good Luck.

not too bad with me today. I have finished and sent off my assignment, though next one due on 02/02 so no relaxing yet. At least its taking my mind off pregnancy. Still feeling pretty fine, though threw up dinner last night (first time I've ever actually been sick in any pregnancy - sorry if thats tmi!). Also a little concerned about finding a bra to fit tomorrow. I have been wearing vest tops for the last 2 days and tried to put a bra on this evening and couldn't find one to fit in my drawer!

Just out of interest, when did you all have your early scans? Am barely at work next week due to some annual leave days but I was thinking of asking one of the docs to scan me the week after when I'll be 7+. Does that sound too early? Thanks
(sorry its so long!)

Hinapa my scan was between 6 and 7 weeks, so your possible scan at 7+ weeks should be fine

napa I reckon 7+ wks is fine for an early scan but others may say hold off another week, depends on what you?re happy seeing I guess. My dates are 1wk behind LMP date so I only saw sac and the beginnings of a fetal pole if I remember rightly on my 1st scan (think it might?ve been at 6wks tho?). TBH I was happy with that though cos I just needed the reassurance it wasn?t my imagination and I was pg. First hb is more reassuring which you may not see but I desperately needed to see progress so clung to weekly / fortnightly scan at that point. Good luck with the bra hunt

wheely glad you?re feeling better. I remember the nightmare fabulous parties that DD had with a roomful of noisy kids, I was hoping she wouldn?t want a party this year but she?s doing everything in her power to persuade me to book a limo and let her have a sleep over. DH says no way with an approx 6wk old baby but I?m thinking the sleepover is a cheaper better option than a flippin limo. Do have some guilt feelings that she?s been really good and I must?ve been hard to put up with as a mum this last year and a half ? not guilty enough to be sweet talked into a limo party though .

tsom DH and I were kidding ourselves we still have DDs pram in the attic and that would do. Am now realising that there?s no way I could walk around with it without having pram envy and feeling like a complete unfashionable old fart so have now started to set my heart on a bugaboo chameleon £££££££?s

sparky if I didn?t have belly that looks like I drink too much beer and eat too many pies I?d forget I was pg. Trying really hard to remember this stage with DD but forget last week never mind a decade ago. Do remember however feeling more tired / craving apples and milk / sobbing every Sunday night through where the heart is. So far have no cravings and am managing to watch most tele without bursting into tears, seem to ache more though. Also I do feel like I?m carrying this one differently, it seems higher / wider than the football shape last time. Have decided on buying x3 neutral babygros and vests at 36wks then sending DH and DD shopping once babe is here (her taste is better than her dads!)

dbno and dan better out than in!! Am impressed with the domestic goddess cooking dan, >>>>>
Have to be honest with you girls, I coped fine with the vaginal birth (ventouse) but really struggled with the after feelings in my poor bits. That came as a shock, couldn?t sit properly for ages and could hardly sit in car as a passenger never mind drive. Also ended up having to go back for surgery 7wks later as I over granulated and was in agony. I thought everyone suffered like that so I urge you to speak up if you are sore in ongoing post natal period. Hope it isn?t like it for you but no one mentioned that part to me antenatally and it came as a bit of a shock.

sparky yes, much better now thanks
wrt cs - I have had 2, both elective as in planned (but not through choice). I have a complicated gynae history, lots if surgery and was advised first time round that cs would be safest. Had a 9lb babe at 38 weeks and thought I'd probably got off lightly. 2nd time the reg thought I could go for VBAC if I wanted, I was very conflicted about it and worried a lot during those last weeks of insomnia. Decided in the end that the babe would be taking most of the risk of VBAC in my circumstances and had cs at 39.5 weeks. Went ok both times but an odd rather than "empowering" experience and it struck me that the recovery was much longer than my friends having 2nd VB. Don't have much choice this time, risk of rupture double with VBA2C, been advised against it and have to agree really. Placenta praevia only adds to the fun.. to summarise all that rambling, CS better than worst VBs but straightforward VB must be best. But as Oasis said - you've got to roll with it. Should really shut up now and go eat more choc

should add CS better for me personally, not globally. I would rather be facing my third VB now than 3rd CS...

Hi all, my god so much catching up to do this morning. great news on the scan vm, ive another 8 days to go til mine, its putting me bonkers the wait.

dan and sparky not long to go now, hopefully your last few weeks are as comfortable as they can be and all goes well for yas. thanks for the link sparky gonna look it up now.

Morning - scotlass what's 'over granulated?' Ta for tips and eeasuurances everyone btw. I am thinking as I lie nightly on the sofa legs akimbo with dh doing the olive oil perineal massage that the whole head coming out of my chuff is just a really strange concept - but people do it more than once so it can't be awful! We are also going to a yoga/massage/birth workshop on sun so hoping to be inspired by that...

More concerned today about bloody toothache - had an emergency visit last mon and had a filling and she only said afterwards (and £46 later) that it might not work...and I think I have to face up tot he fact that it hasn't. Bollocks. Means I have to have it out. You would think, wouldn't you, in the face of childbirth it would be an easy prospect but I REALLY hate the dentist. AND my lovely one is on bloody maternity leave so its a new nervous one - not what I want at all!!

dan - I had to have a tooth out about 4 weeks after having dd bu c-sec. It was a baby molar (I bizarrely never got some adult teeth) that lost its root and they tried saving it but it gave up. Anyway, I remember sitting in the dentist chair being petrified and telling myself how ridiculous I was as I had only a few weeks before been awake through open tummy surgery and here I was being a wimp about a tooth. But, there's just something about it isn't there. It was fine btw and was much better when it was out.

dan how is the perineal massage going?

Is it easy to do? Have spoken to my DH about it and he's keen to try it (probably cos it sounds a bit pervy tho rather than helping me in childbirth).

I'm a first timer so the thought of the birth is starting to scare me sh*tless!!

also what sort of oil are you using?

Our computer broke just before christmas and haveonly just managed to get new one all plugged in and internet working properly.

so Happy New Year everyone

dan39 I didn't think you had to pay for dental treatment when pregnant or was it cause it was an emergency

napa I had my early scan at 8.5 weeks as that was when i started to bleed on my first mc

Had a bit of a tumble down the stairs, which was rather scary. Never been so gratefull for a boot in the bladder. Heard heartbeat on our monitor, but lots of knickerchecking going on after that. All's well now though.

Had a long chat with Midwife re: vbac waterbirths, where I showed her I'd done my research and understand all the risks. She's agreed so long as alls well when I arrive at hospital I'll be allowed in water. She's drafting a letter to my consultant, who apparently requires some eyelash fluttering and then will agree to anything. (Have been chatting to people who know him). So the big battle I thought was coming seems to have gone. They've also done up the waterbirth room at my hospital. Just needs it to be free when I go in, Oh and for this one not to want to stay in like my dd and need inducing (naturally ending in emerg cs)

Know what everyone means when they talk about missing out when they had cs.
Also I feel I need to be up and mobile as soon after birth so as to avoid jealousy issues with my dd

about to start pregnancy yoga dvd keep putting it off but time is ticking on.

currently 24 weeks and so happy.

acqua good news on your water birth! Sounds very hopeful, just kick anyone else out of the way!!

Looby waitrose olive oil! You can buy special oli but everything I read said olive oil fine. Its worth a try I reckon - I still think its funny every time, and dh likes it as he thinks he is 'helping' (tho really he's a bit pervy too) and a couple I know who had their little boy the other week did dsay they thought it had helped because it made the sensation familiar (ish) when the stretching started. You do have to do it till it stings a bit, as I understand.

www.babyworld.co.uk/information/birth/assisted_delivery/perineal_massage.asp#5

Dunno why I can't link this properly - but the site is easy to navigate if you go there. Blow by blow account!

napa I had scan at 7 and a half (following big bleed, thought it had gone, shocked to find hb)then 9 and a half as mmc had been at 8 - 9. Then managed on doppler visits to mw and GP after that. Kept me sane for minutes hours....

Ignoring the toothache right now by simply not eating. (A chicken? Moi?)

thanks for the info about scans. I think I just want to see a hb for now and should see that at 7+ weeks. my mmc was at 10+ weeks so I won't feel completely happy til after that, might get them to scan me again around 10+ weeks for some reassurance.

Good luck to all the ladies planning VBAC's too. I had a vb last time but was recommended to have a cs for my next pg but we'll see what the consultant says when I see him. - napa feeling posistive about this preg!

Napa - had an early scan at 8+something....my MMC was diagnosed at 9 weeks, and there was no hb when I'd been in at 8 so it made sense for me - then worried constantly made it through until my nuchal at 12 weeks, and had my 21 week scan last week....so now, do I book a 4D one?! Anyone had one?

scotlass - my DS will only be 3 and have managed to persuade DH that we should get a bugaboo - should have got one last time, but a buggy board is a bugger to fit on a quinny apparently, and I want to avoid a P&T....now what colour....

Really interesting about the CS v VBAC question - thanks for sharing all your experiences. It's definitely the recovery that worries me - I'm allergic to asprin, voltarol, ibuprofen etc, so after my last one, my pain relief was limited to paracetamol and codeine...how can I cope with a busy toddler?! And have I missed out on something magical by having an elective last time? I too sort of feel I should give it a go...but, anyway - don't need to decide for another 10 weeks...M/W is pro VBAC but happy for me to see how I feel at 32-34 weeks!

aqua - so pleased you're feeling so well what's your due date? (must just be before me)

dan I hope you shut your sitting room curtains when doing your massage !! !!

oh and wheely - how you feeling today?

dan - I will be trying the massage as part of my whole hypnobirthing programme, so thanks for the info! Have a bit of a hang-up about it though so hope I can get over that. Don't feel like having dh do it as he will undoubtedly get ideas which I am unable to oblige at the moment.

For those who don't know, the theory behind the hypnobirthing programme is that for healthy mums giving birth to healthy babies, in the majority of cases the only thing that causes labour to be painful is fear and tension in the mother. Hypnobirthing teaches techniques to send you into a state of advanced relaxation that means that the tension doesn't exist and results in a close to pain-free labour. That's the idea anyway - I won't set my sights on a totally pain-free experience, but I did manage on gas and air last time (without hypnobirthing) so I think it's close to doable (for me, at any rate). For what it's worth, I also got a second degree tear with dd and had 10 stitches and I didn't feel a thing!

Last scan of the cyst today and the head was so far down in my pelvis we couldn't see a thing (!), I can now feel the definite presence of a head between my legs (!!) and I have been having all kinds of twinges all day (!!!) Now watch me go two weeks overdue

Oooh dbno sounds exciting!! A head between your legs!!

The massage doesn't feel very sexual tbh - its too clinical feeling for that - for us, anyway...it feels much more baby related than me related so that puts paid to any urges!