Is 37-40 too old for a first baby? 🙁

[Vanillalatte01]

So I'm currently 35 and my partner (male) is 45. By the time I complete my degree I'll be 37, which is when I plan on trying to conceive naturally. At this point conception may be when I'm between 37-40 and my partner will be 47-50.

• In your opinion, is this too old to have a first baby?
• Did any of you have your first baby at roughly the same age or older?
• How was your pregnancy & delivery?
• Was your baby healthy?

Thanks in advance 🫶🏼

Since you say first baby, I assume you want more than one which could be the issue. It can take longer to conceive when you are older and as more embryos will have chromosomal issues, chance of miscarriage is also higher. In saying that, the overwhelming majority of women giving birth at 40 will have healthy babies, but as you are more likely to have issues in the first place it depends on if you want to wait as long. I would maybe get AMH/AFC test to check your number of eggs as if this is low you shouldn't sit on it if you definitely want a child. I wouldn't worry about being too old for it, my mother had my youngest sister at 44 and honestly she kept her young.

I had my second baby around this age. It took me a year to get pregnant. I was very surprised- my first baby I was pregnant on my first cycle just years before.

My husband was the same age as me.

I think if you know you want kids with this man- considering he is so much older as well- I would stop using any protection now and see what happens.

There is never a 'perfect' time but your chances of conceiving are never higher than they are now. I had a few friends who needed to use IVF, and it can take a year or two to realise if things aren't going to happen naturally.

I guess a lot depends on how much a baby is important to you vs the degree.

First baby at 37, one pregnancy, took 3 months to conceive, perfect healthy baby.

My mother was 40 and my father 55 when I was born. I was their only child. My only living grandparent (he was in his 80s) died when I was 7, my father when I was 9 and my mother when I was 22. Both my parents died suddenly.
I was lucky that I had married the year before my mother died and had a very supportive husband and lovely inlaws as my only other relatives, my mother's sisters, while friendly had never been very close personally or physically.
So go for it but give thought and make arrangements just in case.
Nb. I was a healthy baby.

Not for you, if you only have one, but your husband sounds far too old.

I had mine at 37 and 39. I conceived very quickly with both - I thought the first one was a fluke because of my age! But DC2 was also a quick conception. Two very different pregnancies, but both were healthy babies and are thriving teens now. DH is two years older than me.

There’s nothing wrong with being 37+

It is older if you expect straightforward fertility. Conception, implantation, carrying the pregnancy, genetic issues etc are all separate elements to consider.

It’s not too old though, loads of people manage. It’s more uncertain than 27.

I had my first at 37 and my second at 40. That said, I’d been trying since I was 34 and had 3 miscarriages before I had DD. If you are really serious about having children in your shoes I’d start now. In many ways it would be easier having a baby while you’re at uni (don’t need to be in full time, long holidays, etc.) that it will be once you begin your career, even if you decide to take a year out.

I agree with this! It was never my intention to have kids so late but that’s where life took me. I didn’t meet DH until I was 33. We started TTC as soon as we got married and were having fun times with a newborn at the time of our first wedding anniversary 😄 I have many friends who had difficulties conceiving, some were successful with IVF some were not and it sadly hasn’t happened for them. I feel incredibly lucky that we had such an easy time with TTC, it certainly wasn’t the experience of many of my friends TTC ing at similar age. So I really wouldn’t put it off much longer!

I was older. I recognise I was lucky to conceive naturally, but don't regret being an older mother at all.

It’s a very normal age to have a first baby in the south east. However in your shoes I would get a fertility check up just in case and consider either trying earlier or freezing eggs if my fertility wasn’t looking good

It’s not too old. But your fertility might disagree

I met my DH at 39 (he was 43), married at 40, first kid at 41, second at 43. Pregnancy fine. A relative had her first at 45 (complicated pregnancy and birth). A friend had one at 46 (her DH was 51). About five friends have had at least one child over 40. All conceived naturally.
All children bar my relative’s are now fighting fit in their early 20s, all parents are alive (my DH sadly passed at age 51), though not all are together! But most are. Im 64 now and my youngest is in uni.
None have complained that they felt to old or exhausted. A couple also had children in their late 20s and for whatever reason had a big gap (same father) and haven’t said it was that much different. 40 is not when your life falls off a cliff - you can be as healthy as someone 15 years younger! And while o do know people who have had fertility issues, it had nothing to do with their age as it started in their 20s.

In your shoes I would conceive now instead of waiting 2 years.
The more you wait, the harder it might be.
And what if you manage 1 but want the 2nd one but it's too late?
I had my 2nd one at 37. He was an easy baby but it was still a little harder than when I was younger.

I was almost 44 when gave birth. But ttc for 10yrs and took 5 private ivf so you run the risk of possibly not having a baby as ‘older’

good easy preg tho had hg and sick many time a day every day

baby healthy and still is bless her and now 9. Im 52

was induced before 40w as they don’t like 40/40 esp with ivf and placenta ended up coming away and lost loads of blood and 3 blood transfusions but otherwise fine

you could if have money freeze eggs now - maybe £5/7k not sure what prices are now as my ivf was 10yrs ago

I had my first and only child at 38 because it took us 4 years to conceive. Miraculously, a spontaneous conception - but it was a difficult road. Pregnancy and birth fine (elective C section as my baby was lying breech)

Agree with others that leaving it to chance to conceive later is an incredibly high risk strategy. Have you had a fertility MOT to tell you where your fertility is now?

Took us years to conceive until I finally had my son aged 34. We were on the waiting list for fertility treatment in the meantime but covid delayed it. In the end it happened naturally. Fertility problems can happen anytime at any age. How would you feel if you weren’t able to conceive because you waited? Always wondering whether you would have had a child if you’d started trying sooner? For me it would depend on whether a baby was a ‘must have’ or a ‘nice to have but could live without’.

It is such an individual thing, it doesn't matter what any of us say. How healthy are you? How old were your mother and grandmother when they had their last child? Have you had your fertility tested? How much energy do you have now? How involved/engaged is your partner and will he continue to be an actual 50:50 partner once the baby arrives, or will he turn into a man child?

For me, 37 was too old. In hindsight, I should have had children no later than 30. I would have had way more energy.

In more general terms, late 30s is a normal age (in London anyway) to have a baby. Again, this is a personal view, but I think it's risky to leave it until 37 to start trying, as there's less time for you to try alternatives, if you can't conceive naturally.

My personal cut off was 35, i wouldn’t say you’re too old but my honest opinion is that your DH will be if he will be nearing 50. When I say this, i’m thinking less of the baby stage and more of a few years down the line.

Had my first at 37 and my second at 39, both very straightforward and easy pregnancies and deliveries, totally healthy babies both past term. Pretty much everyone in my friendship groups apart from one didn’t have their first before 35

Whether or not it’s too old depends on your own biology. There’s plenty of people who conceive fine and have healthy babies at that age, but there’s plenty of other who don’t. You won’t know where you sit until you try, you’d be better off TTC earlier.

Yes I was also thinking that. Your DH will be over 70 by the time university years are finished.

I would do it now, take a year out and return to the degree. That’s my plan as a current student. People get degrees with kids all the time. More for your husbands age than yours

One has to wonder why this question arises in the first place. Where do all the doom and gloom about age come from?

I had a very early menopause and missed my chance so in my case yes it was too late.