Is 37-40 too old for a first baby? 🙁

[Vanillalatte01]

So I'm currently 35 and my partner (male) is 45. By the time I complete my degree I'll be 37, which is when I plan on trying to conceive naturally. At this point conception may be when I'm between 37-40 and my partner will be 47-50.

• In your opinion, is this too old to have a first baby?
• Did any of you have your first baby at roughly the same age or older?
• How was your pregnancy & delivery?
• Was your baby healthy?

Thanks in advance 🫶🏼

We started TTC at 33 and I'm only now in my third trimester having turned 38 after IVF at 36/7 after TTC 2 years and 1.5 years fertility testing and IVF. If you want to leave it, get a sperm analysis for your OH and get your own AMH tested now to give you a realistic idea of how long you have and if there are likely to be any issues. Your AMH should give you an idea of what your ovarian reserve is and that's key.

I can’t agree more with this. My AMH was ridiculously low once we eventually had the tests done.

It’s a bit of a miracle we had our son via spontaneous conception, after one of London’s leading fertility experts told us there was no point in our having IVF.

If you want a baby don't wait. My uvf baby is sleeping beside me. I'm 41.

I think your partner is too old.

I was 36 when I had mine and my DH was 53. Though I had high BP in pregnancy I had a good birth and a healthy baby. He's nearly 4 now and is awaiting assessment for autism and is non verbal. I can't help but wonder if that would have been different had I been younger

That's bullshit. My DH was 53 and we conceived first try

It's not your age so much as your partner's that would be the factor here. I say that without judgement, my child is autistic as well. Or it could be just random genetics not related to parental age.

ETA just did a quick read and wanted to elaborate that correlation isn't causation. ND might reach life milestones later so may tend to be parents at a later age.

Sorry for the typos above.

What’s the point of doing a degree to then have babies? If you want to start a family now then do it, but why do a degree if it isn’t going to benefit your career or get a family

Well you are lucky then. It is a well known medical fact plus it increases the chances of miscarriage. My husband is fifteen years older than me. We needed IVF. I think I have some knowledge on this.

Interestingly my son is four and nearly non verbal and waiting for an autism assessment. My is in his 50s but was 45 when we did IVF. There is an higher risk of autism with older dads although my husband is probably autistic to be fair.

Weird that because my DH definitely displays some traits. There's no diagnosed autism in my family only ADD. So if it came from one or both of us I'll never know

We had our first when my life wife was 37 (36 when she got pregnant). Don’t see an issue, DD1 is 4 now and we just love being parents. The young parents will say too old, but I’m glad we had a life first and we can focus & enjoy being parents. We have a second now, my wife was 40 when DD2 was born (I carried second time). We are both fit and healthy though!

As a side note, I was 33 when DD2 was born and the youngest by years in our baby sensory class!

What planet are YOU living on? No it's not too old but the chance of fertility issues increases dramatically after 35. I know countless women in their 40s and 50s who would have loved to have had children and have none because they left it too late. Many of them went through heartbreaking IVF and years and years of trying.

I had my first at 38 - not old at all. However I was not able to have a second baby which was a bit sad although I’ve come to terms with it now. Many friends having babies in early 40s keep yourself fit and it’s fine

@Vanillalatte01 The age is not a problem if you don't have any problems with fertility and will need rounds of ivf. The problem is there is no way to know before you try.

Anecdotal of course, but several of the autistic children I know have older fathers. I would just put some thought into considering if that is something you and your DH could cope with. My friend’s DH couldn’t so she now manages two very challenging young boys solo, her life is very hard.