Pregnancy after loss

[ChasingRainbow5]

Hi, I'm 4+4 after a loss at 6+5 in April. I don't want to join the 'due in January' thread yet as I joined the December one then had to bow out, but thought it might be nice to have a thread where anyone in a similar position could chat/vent? I can't see any recent similar threads, apols if I have missed.

I'm feeling a lot more nauseous than last time which I have read can be a positive sign, but obviously doesn't guarantee anything. Just trying to cling to any hope I can!

Good luck Op. I went from a loss to 2 successful pregnancies very shortly afterwards. They are grown up now. I'm sure you'll be fine this time! Good luck!

i have no practical advice but i was in your situation and nothing u do will impact the outcome of your pregnancy. u have to get on with life whilst trying to keep your anxiety levels low. which is soo hard. i never told anyone or joined any group until after 20 weeks as i couldn’t deal with the disappointment if anything went wrong. i pray all works goes well for you ❤️
i had 3 consecutive miscarriages then my miracle baby who is nearly 2 💞

Thanks @whyamihere26, I know there's nothing I can do but I think that just makes the waiting worse. Glad you got your miracle 💞

Hi OP I’m currently 5+2 after a miscarriage at 6+2 in April. I’m on progesterone this time around so hoping that helps things stick 💕

@sapphirerubydiamond really hope it helps! How are you feeling?

Very very anxious! I’ve been under EPU and I have a scan on Thursday morning to hopefully figure out dating, I think I’m around 5+2 but we conceived straight after my miscarriage without a period in between so dating is a bit up in the air 😅. EPU have been great though to be fair, they’ve been doing beta HCG bloods for the last week or so (they were 19 on 6/5, 276 13/5 then 727 15/5) but I just constantly worry about something going wrong. I got a 3+ on one of those clearblue digital tests this morning which reassured me for all of 20 minutes before I started worrying that my boobs no longer hurt- pregnancy after loss is not for the faint hearted! How are you doing?

@sapphirerubydiamond I'm the same in that I didn't have a period, but I tested for ovulation so I'm pretty sure on my dates. That's brilliant you're getting so much support, and your bloods sound really positive 🤞🤞

I've had one successful pregnancy where I also bled around 6.5 weeks, so in my head I just have to get to that point and see what happens. That point will also be my son's second birthday so no stress😅I'm just finding it so hard waiting and knowing I can't really do anything.

@ChasingRainbow5 I probably should have done more tracking really but we went down the winging it route thinking it would take a while…two weeks later here we were 😂 our first pregnancy that ended in a loss was a total surprise but made us want to TTC.

I get what you mean about having a point in your head- I’m itching to get to 6w3d because that’ll be the furthest we’ve got if that makes sense!

The waiting is so stressful isn’t it, it feels like time is moving so slowly. Are you planning on booking a private reassurance scan or anything? It’s so nice to chat to someone in a similar boat 💕

@sapphirerubydiamond nothing wrong with winging it! Really hope the progesterone gets you past 6+3 - way past obviously! - you're not too far off 🤞

I've ended up at EPU for a scan in both pregnancies so far, the bleeding in my first was due to a bicornuate uterus so I'm expecting that to happen again whether the outcome is good or bad. If by chance it doesn't, I'd book a private scan for 7-8 weeks, there's no way I could wait til 12!

I had a missed mc at 6.5 in sep followed by 2 early loses around 5 weeks at Christmas and January.
I then fell pregnant again in Feb and im currently 14 weeks.
I dont think you ever get over the anxiety in subsequent pregnancies following a loss but theres definitely hope at the end of a rainbow

Pregnancy after loss is so hard, I really feel for you because I've been there. It really increases the anxiety, and that is completely understandable, our brains reference lived experience and that is powerful.

My first had no issues so I was blissfully unaware, and then now on my 3rd pregnancy after losing my second and I've been so much more on edge! What I will say is now at 30 weeks and getting kicks and prods each day plus regular scans I feel so much better than I did up until 20 weeks.

All I can say is since my loss I have met or heard of so many people who have also had losses and it's a bit of a comfort that it is more common than we think - because it helps take the blame away from ourselves - and also they all have had healthy pregnancies at some stage so there is a huge amount of hope and success.

Good luck OP, hope all goes well with this pregnancy.

@VioIetMoon congratulations, I hope it continues to go smoothly for you 💕

@JennyTig that's exactly how I feel, I was blissfully unaware with my first, who was a happy accident so didn't even have any stress around TTC. Thanks for sharing your story, it really is comforting to read positive stories and hear from people who understand the anxiety x

I'm 13 weeks after 2 missed miscarriages in the last 2 years. I lived in total denial until 8 weeks when I had a private scan, I was totally prepared to be told there was no heartbeat again so got a total shock when there was! I felt reassured for a little while as 8 weeks was past the point where my last 2 pregnancies stopped developing. I told a couple of very close people after that just for someone to talk to. I had my 12 week scan last week and again all was well, I didn't go in expecting bad news that scan as I'm convinced I've felt the odd movement but I was still guarding my heart.

I'm still feeling like it's not going to last, don't want to join the Due in November group or tell anyone. Pregnancy after loss is hard but I'm feeling lucky to have made it this far! I definitely think it helps to talk about it otherwise you feel so alone.

@ThatMintMember congratulations on 13 weeks, the chances of loss now are so small but I’m sure it’s hard to let your guard down. In my head I’ll relax when I pass the point of my loss but I’m sure it’s not that simple.

Feel free to chat here any time 💕

@ChasingRainbow5 12 weeks just feels like forever away doesn’t it! I think we’re planning on booking a private scan for around 9 weeks as my partner goes away for a month shortly after so would actually miss my 12 week NHS scan- he keeps joking he’s going to miss my peak first trimester hormonal period 😂

@ThatMintMember huge congratulations 💕 13 weeks is an amazing milestone! Totally get the guarding your heart. I think pregnancy after loss is a bit like waiting for the other shoe drop and for bad news to come 😩 I don’t think we’ll ever relax till our babies are here at which point we’ll end up finding something else to worry about no doubt!

Thanks 😊 congratulations to you and @ChasingRainbow5 too!

You're totally right, I feel reluctant to do any of the normal things. I don't want to tell people or buy maternity clothes or think too much about the future incase it gets taken away again.

I actually already have a son who's 3 years old, my pregnancy with him was straightforward (hadnt had any losses yet) but I was still an anxious wreck regardless so think it's just the way I am. Can confirm I definitely have found plenty to worry about since he was born too! Every germ, bug, rash, injury and milestone brings more worry haha.

I got a dye stealer this morning and I’m stopping testing.

Haven’t touched a digital this time as they’ve caused stress in the past and I have enough of that 😅

Congrats on your dye stealer @ChasingRainbow5! I got one this morning too 🥳 Trying to remain optimistic for tomorrows scan now 😬

The week indicator digitals drove me mad last time, I swore I wouldn’t use them again this time but caved- I’m my own worst enemy 😂

@sapphirerubydiamond they’re awful, the number of posts on here about them making people worry! And so expensive too.

I know it’s basically impossible but try not to think about the scan tomorrow, today you are pregnant 🙌🏼

So my scan wasn’t very reassuring unfortunately! She could see the gestational sac and a yolk sac however the gestational sac was only measuring 5w1d and although I wasn’t 100% sure on dates I was expecting to be 5w5d. Based on my first positive test being 3/5 I don’t see how I could feasibly be only 5w1d. Back for a repeat scan on 1st June anyway but not feeling good about everything 😓

Oh no, I'm sorry.

There's such a fine line between guarding yourself and not giving up hope that I don't know what to say - I'd tell anyone else to have hope but I know myself I'd expect the worst.

Sending a gentle hug

Oh I'm so sorry it wasn't reassuring. I hate early scans as they can cause so much worry and confusion. It is possible to implant late so there still may be hope. I think I'd also guard my heart too but that's just the way I cope with things so you do whatever feels right for you. Sending hugs.

@sapphirerubydiamond did you test negative after your mc? Is it possible you were still positive from that?

We both got dye stealers yesterday and I’m 5 weeks today, your dates would make sense if it weren’t for that early test.

@ChasingRainbow5 Yes, I tested negative post miscarriage on 19/4. It’s getting that faint positive on the 3/5 that’s thrown me! Unless it was an evap/indent because my HCG was only 19 on 6/5. The only other thing I can think of is that her measurements were off by a couple of mm’s but I don’t know if that’s wishful thinking…what a day!

I got my booking appointment through today. I wouldn't have self-referred so early but the one I got last time wouldn't have been til I was 11.5 weeks so I was worried everything is delayed, but this one I'd be 10 weeks which is more normal.

Obviously now I'm terrified I've jinxed it!