Due 2 weeks before wedding!

[Colliedogwalker]

Hello,
I have just found out i am pregnant and due 2 weeks before my wedding. Unfortunately wedding insurance dose not help for this and alot has already been paid.
First time mother and needing to know really what its like the first two weeks after. I fully understand everyone is different but i want to be as prepared as possible.

😍

Actually, I totally disagree. We need to be more honest and realistic about the reality of giving birth and the newborn period

Yes but realisitic is that for every woman who has a horror show, there is a woman who didnt.

So yes there is bleeding after birth, yes the milk comes in, yes there is tiredness. Thats a given for everyone. But for some women thats as bad as it gets. So saying that "I was pissing myself and didnt notice", whilst true isnt representative for an awful lot of women.

As I said, I really dont think that this wedding is doable, but equally there is no reason to the think that the OP will come out of it like she lost a fight with a threshing machine.

100 and million percent rearrange for until your baby is at least 6 months old

Cannot agree with this more. I wanted to attend a v. Important family wedding a week before my due date and ended up being induced early for various reasons. People were sad we missed it but they understood. I planned even to go after birth. I was SO naive! Post partum I was in hospital for a week, on pain killers and then couldn’t walk for a month after. Nothing is predictable tbh. Instagram will tell you births can be smooth but that’s a minority turns out - you have no idea what you and your baby will need. Also, I had no idea how much a new born baby really needs you. I mean, feeding for 45mins-1 every other hour, lots of cuddles (ideally, skin to skin) and time connecting to get their needs. Wouldn’t really fit with a wedding day. I remember (2.5 months ago btw) being so fuelled by adrenaline, head spinning from the birth, no sleep for days on end as I was so wired, so much pain and discomfort and painkillers, peri bottle and long, delicate loo trips, walking with support, and big pads with the loo, in awe of my beautiful baby and wanting to just be with him and my partner. It could have been my wedding day or £100k on the line, I wouldn’t have put on make up and a dress. Everything just melts away. Your health and baby are #1!!

You’ll be so surprised how much people understand and support you. Push the wedding back, enjoy and give yourself time for both monumental moments! You deserve to have no pressure on both (so does your baby).

I second this. I have a 4mo baby and we were in the hospital for a week, he was in the nicu. I was a mess. You just don’t know how things are going to go with birth, baby and recovery so I would definitely be rescheduling unfortunately. On top of recovery, there’s so much to learn, all while you are severely sleep deprived, mine and my husbands brains were totally fried in the first at least month after having baby. I just would not have had the capacity to even go to someone else’s wedding let alone my own.

Also on a shallow/vain note, you just feel like your most ugliest self that soon after birth. I have never felt more unattractive in my life than in those weeks postpartum.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, it’s all worth it of course but just be prepared for an adjustment period and to not be yourself that soon after having a baby.

My partner had his big 40th birthday party when our first child was just 3 weeks. I had an ok natural birth experience (although needed theatre after) and was exclusively breast feeding at the time. I managed to help decorate the hall and dress myself and the baby in fancy dress and stay throughout the night. Did I enjoy it? Not really. I was exhausted, still a bit sore from the stitches and my concentration was on the baby all night. My point is, even if the stars align and you have the baby on time, it’s a straight forward birth and a quick recovery, you might be able to ‘get through’ the day but you won’t be able to enjoy it. And that’s best case scenario. Hope it works out well for you, whatever you decide to do. And congratulations!

If anything reading these replies just shows how inadequate a job ante-natal care, including the likes of NCT, does in preparing parents for the reality of birth and early post-partum. There’s no way I or the majority of us here I would imagine, were prepared for the shit-show that comes with having a baby (of course lots of women have a lovely, straightforward birth and postpartum but it’s not the case for most!!). That’s not to scaremonger, we all get through it one way or another as long as we have the right support but it is bloody hard and it’s important to be honest and realistic about this time. I hope OP does reschedule, if only to take the pressure off herself at this time. I can’t think of anything worse than having a wedding at this time!

You seem to be relying on baby arriving on the due date which isn't guaranteed. You could be 2 days postpartum, not 2 weeks or even in labour or hospital

We attended a wedding two weeks after my first was born. I was fine. It was uncomfortable standing all day but other than that I managed. Daughter slept all day. We then attended another wedding with she was 3 weeks and another at 4 weeks and those were a nightmare as she just screamed.

So cute 🥰!!
Tricky though, plus hosting as a bride is different to attending as a guest.

First time babies are often late
as was mine born 11days after due date
then count in the stitches if needed ( assuming no C-section) and I think you might need to rethink

Exactly. It’s not like you can just cancel if you’re not up to it

If this is a picture of you you should delete as we’re all anon on MNet

I had my second baby 3 months ago in a very straightforward and quick birth. I was at a party/BBQ the day after the birth (did not plan this btw!). I’ll be honest, I was feeling as good as I could be with a bit of physical pain I felt like I could manage, but even then I felt like I’d just been released from a psych ward- nervous and jittery, all spaced out and trying to act normal!

I did a lot of things while running off adrenaline for the first two weeks and then I crashed and burned.

What I’m trying to say is that even if you manage to have little physical damage and pain (and there always is some kind after birth), your hormones mess with you mentally after birth. It’s not a great time for a big event, especially as you will likely be 1 week post partum minimum. It’s insanity.

I am the first to give the benefit of the doubt, but that baby is older than two weeks and not even the Princess of Wales looked like that two weeks post partum.

Not buying it. Sorry.

Absolute madness.

speak to suppliers, move the date.

I disagree. That baby could easily be 2 weeks old, and plenty of women don't gain a tonne of weight. I don't know why she felt the need to stand all day, that would not have been good.

Can you speak with the Venue, caterers etc that you have paid for asking them if you can re arrange a date in the future. Explain your situation & that you may not even be able to attend if the baby is late coming & that you'd really like to enjoy your day at a later date. If that's not possible can you do a smaller day with only close family with you then hold a big celebration party later when baby is a bit older & you're feeling stronger after the birth

You think being a guest at a wedding is remotely on the same level as being the bride??! @Brodie13

Yes I agree very odd

You will have to change the date! It’s just not possible to be sure you’ll manage.

For example one sister in law was 2 weeks late so she was still in hospital giving birth.

The other had a post birth infection so was hospitalised and on intravenous antibiotics.

Even if it all goes well and you are home, it’s unlikely you’ll be getting much sleep. You may have loads of stitches so can only pee into a bath of water (hence need to get undressed each time you pee). I just can’t see how you can proceed, unless you accept there is a 50% chance you’ll miss it and 90% risk you’ll not feel up to it.