Due 2 weeks before wedding!

[Colliedogwalker]

Hello,
I have just found out i am pregnant and due 2 weeks before my wedding. Unfortunately wedding insurance dose not help for this and alot has already been paid.
First time mother and needing to know really what its like the first two weeks after. I fully understand everyone is different but i want to be as prepared as possible.

😍

You will be having heavy bleeding

Not necessarily.

Both times as my midwife sign off on day 10 I was asked if my lochia had finished. Both times it had.

If I have you mean worse than a period, this was first 48 hours only. Onto panty liners by day 5ish, they were pretty much precautionary after about day 8.

Obviously I was fortunate, but women get married whilst on their period all their time.

Saying that, for this (amongst many other reasons), I'd suggest a dress that isn't too close fitting, that has extra material, in the bottom half, like a full skirt, just in case. Not a slinky silk dress or something. And maybe double up an extra pair of period pants if still bleeding.

Speak to your ‘suppliers’ directly and try to just postpone (or bring the wedding forward a couple of months). Most are only too happy to keep the business. Good luck 🤞

The reality is you need to reschedule.

I have 4 children and every birth is different. I’ve had them early/late/on time. However, for absolute certain, from my experiences a wedding would not have been possible 2 weeks past due date, with any of them.

There are so many possible scenarios
( including straightforward birth and being fine) that I wouldn't take the risk. I had planned C section but had post partum haemmorhage and was very unwell, I also bled for 7 weeks afterwards and was anaemic. No one knows how things are going to go for you, but in the last few weeks the last thing you need is to worry if you'll make your wedding🫤🫤

Absolutely not. I was 2 weeks and 4 days over with my first, 4 day labour that ended in an emergency section and a week in hospital.

second child was an elective section at 38 weeks (due to almost dying with my first) and still had 4 days in hospital and a raging infection in my scar that meant I had to basically lay in bed with my scar exposed to get air to it because trying to walk caused excruciating pain.

cut your losses now and rearrange.

So I am guessing your wedding is about 8 months away, hopefully it can all be rearranged, someone else will snap up the venue, suppliers etc.

Reading all these personal postpartum experiences has made me feel so nostalgic, it’s enough to make me want to do it all again despite the discomfort! Am I going mad or does anyone else feel this way?

If you’re still reading OP, I just wanted to say, don’t let all these stories scare you! Everyone is just trying to set your expectations.

The first few weeks after giving birth is difficult both emotionally and physically and nothing can prepare you for it. But it is also magical and a time that you’ll never forget.

Definitely rearrange, I dont want to worry or scare you but I wish people had of prepared me more. My 1st child came on time but I had a third degree vaginal tear and haemoraged and needed a blood transfusion. I had to bathe multiple times a day for weeks to ease the pain of the wound, sitting was painful, toilet was painful, bleeding is like 9 months periods all at once. I think I bled for about 3 months. My second birth was much easier but my daughter had complications and disabilities, we were both in hospital for weeks. Basically anything can happen that no one can foresee, or prepare for. You really are better to rearrange. Would you want to be heavily bleeding and in pain on your wedding day, or 9+ months pregnant and overdue. How would you know what size your wedding dress needs to be? And the tiredness omg the tiredness in those 1st weeks are like nothing you have ever experienced before and even if baby comes on time, it wouldnt be advisible to have it around loads of people, and you will be still trying to get it in a routine. It will feed very regularly sorry Op i just think too many variables that are out of your control to make this work.x

“Don’t let all these stories scare you” but they really should scare her enough to move the wedding!
Yes she might have the baby early or on time, sail through a 2hour labour, have no problems with feeding and recovery … BUT there is the very real possibility of things going wrong in one way or another, especially baby coming late and it’s extremely unlikely she’ll feel up to being a bride within a few weeks of having a baby.

Yes, I agree that OP should move the date of the wedding and I posted my own horror story of how I felt 2 weeks postpartum several pages ago.

But I was just reading through everyone’s stories and it got me to thinking that this must be a very overwhelming and frankly terrifying read for a first time newly pregnant mum!

Whilst it is a very good idea to move the date, I’m sure none of us want to make the OP terrified of actually giving birth!

Well, if she doesn't know this stuff, she needs to know. Ignorance is not bliss.

My brother's wedding was a bit over 2 months after I had my son and that was difficult enough to attend, he wasnt my first so there weren't the issues establishing feeding id had before but he was really ill after birth and was largely in hospital until he was a month and a half old and that's without the less important things of not fitting in my dress right anymore or my body completely changing shape (less important for a guest obviously).
But my friend got married 4 weeks after her child was born as she couldn't move it and says she really enjoyed her wedding and managed fine. The trouble is that you can't predict what the birth will be like or if there will be complications after. If you really can't move it id try to massively scale back.

Ditch the first plan and get married before the birth :)

Then focus on baby. Congrats!!!

High chances are you’ll miss your own wedding. If you make it you’ll either be wildly uncomfortable or nursing a brand new baby and won’t want to be round people. Especially on mass with everyone touching it.

cancel.

You have to rearrange it. I cannot stress this enough. Weddings are stressful enough as it is and stress is very bad for unborn babies. You’ll either miss it because you’ll be in hospital or it will be the worst day of your life because you will feel and look like shit and be in considerable pain. You understand about post partum bleeding right? And after pains? And leaking breasts? And stitches/tearing? And babies that need to feed every 1-2 hours? Rearrange.

That's true. And if the op is still reading these, know that for some of us those first few weeks are the most magical of our lives.

Some women find it horrendous, some women find it okay, and some absolutely love it.

Many of us have very positive experiences. Post partum can be wonderful, but for obvious reasons you hear more about those that had a terrible time.

It is however very unpredictable (as is pregnancy, and being a parent overall). Enjoy your baby and Evie you wedding. But don't try to mix the two of you risk not enjoying either.

Obviously you need to bring wedding forward a month or two. Or postpone

Don't do it. Have the baby & do the wedding later. The chances of you a) feeling like shit & b) having to cancel because you're overdue are really really high. You would be bonkers to go ahead.

I had two very easy pregnancies and births.
Baby #1 (nearly 7 years ago) was 8 days overdue. I had him in hospital. 10 hour labour. Discharged 4 hours after birth. 6 days later (so technically 2 weeks after due date) I was hosting visiting family (we live abroad). My mum was amazingly supportive and I had chosen to bottle feed (which undoubtedly makes things easier) but reality is I still felt flabby, was still bleeding, had had stitches so felt tender, and all I wanted to do was flatline on the sofa. I had fever-like chills on day 7 pp and was really emotional/weepy. As mentioned, easy labour and birth (showering and makeup on from day 1 pp, off round the shops with the pram on day 2) and I still wouldn’t have been up for a wedding.
Baby #2 (just over 2.5 years ago) was 12 days early! VERY fast labour so unexpected home birth. I was totally physically fine afterwards (no stitches even) but when he was 4 weeks old (so effectively 2 weeks after his due date) I was still juggling the reality of 2 kids (my then 4yo was watching A LOT of Paw Patrol) and I just wasn’t in the right headspace to do anything other than attend to my baby. He was a VERY vommy baby too and when I look at photos and videos of him from that time he just looks SO tiny.

In other words, to reiterate what everyone else has said, either move the wedding forward or back so you can concentrate on the person you are marrying.

For some getting married can be a stressful event. Being first time parents, without complications is also a life changing experience that throws everything out of kilter. Sometime it’s hard to even go to toilet, let alone get married that early on even if baby has arrived.

Remember any stress you feel are transferred to baby.

good luck either way

I don’t think anyone is saying that she will definitely have a bad time of it. There are plenty who have a fantastic birth and post-birth experience. The one thing that is certain is the uncertainty!
There is just no way of knowing if she’ll have a good or a bad experience. And two weeks after due date is without doubt cutting it too fine - she could still be in labour on that day!

There is a thread trending right now called 'Can't do anything with new born' while there is no guarantee the OP will feel like this there is also no guarantee she won't. Her 12 week scan could push her due date back 10 days, the baby arrive a few weeks early (but not enough to need any medical support) the delivery be straightforward and her recovery swift and the baby be one of those snuggly relaxed new borns that lets her get on with life in which case she probably could get married but it only needs one or two of those things to not happen for it to turn into a nightmare and her either have a wedding she doesn't enjoy or having to cancel last minute.

What if you have a c-section? You’ll need 6 weeks to recover from that to be comfortable sitting, standing, and possibly dancing. When you just had a baby you still look very much pregnant for the first few weeks, still bleeding, and you won’t be allowed to use tampons. If you have a difficult delivery with tears then 4 weeks is when you can sit without having to use a donut pillow. I was invited to a wedding 5 weeks after my daughter was born by C-section and I didn’t go, I was so tired, so emotional, uncomfortable, and the baby was not quite in a routine. Bad idea, imho, give yourself 6 months, at least.

En masse 😗