Due 2 weeks before wedding!

[Colliedogwalker]

Hello,
I have just found out i am pregnant and due 2 weeks before my wedding. Unfortunately wedding insurance dose not help for this and alot has already been paid.
First time mother and needing to know really what its like the first two weeks after. I fully understand everyone is different but i want to be as prepared as possible.

😍

I could barely stand up straight 2
Weeks after my very involved c-section. If I had to attend a wedding even as a guest, I think I would have needed to do it in a wheelchair. I just would not have had the stamina.

Hello OP! Had two babies and with the first I had a friend visiting from SA not long after birth. I was all like “yay let’s meet up!” Then birth happened and I had absolutely no idea. We didn’t meet, I think I was still in hospital completely utterly overwhelmed and depressed and exhausted. Slept 20 mins a day for 5 days. Second time round much better but I still didn’t really emerge for 3/4 months. You still look pregnant for a long while, milk, blood everywhere. It feels like youve been run over by a very slow steam roller. I work for weddings (music) and if you approach each supplier I’m sure most of them will have a heart and rearrange. It’s so much more important than any money, that you can focus on the birth and on your baby, and on your wedding when you are ready. If you do rearrange make sure the gap is big! Even if you’re ready to come out into the word at 3/4 months you won’t want to be planning during this time. Hormonally you are so so so out of whack and anything can seem like the biggest thing and throw you off balance, so a wedding would be v tough and not good. I would suggest focussing on you and the baby and make the wedding wait! I’m sure the suppliers will understand. When your dear baby is grown you will be so glad it is THIS baby at THIS time and the rearrange or any costs lost will be totally worth having your dear child. Congratulations on both the wedding and baby! xx

I currently have a 4 week old and had a relatively straight forward birth (with minor tearing). I can categorically say I’d rather eat my own arm than get married even 4 weeks out. Don’t even attempt it honestly.

Oh god, no, OP, just no! Bring it forward several months or postpone. You can in no way guarantee you will be able to even attend your own wedding. You might be incredibly lucky and feel OK, but it's not likely, and no way of knowing until it happens. These are two very special, precious events, but they shouldn't be combined.

DD1 was 15 days late then I was in hospital for a week. 2 weeks post partum was just a blur of day and night, trying to do basic tasks like shower, get dressed, leave the house for an hour. The bleeding, the leaking - you don't really feel like dressing up and having your photo taken.

DD2 was a better birth (planned CS) but a very wakeful, sicky baby. 2 weeks post partum, same blur as with DD1.

Do you want to enjoy your wedding?

You need to rearrange!

You 100% need to rearrange. It is just not possible. Thank us later.

I'm really sorry, but you will need to rearrange. Maybe bring it forward a few months?

The baby could come early or on time, in which case, you'll probably still be bleeding and dazzled. Quite likely, baby will be late and you might be really stressed and you'll give birth a few days before. What if you need a C-section? So many scenarios, all not accommodating a wedding at that time.

Best to try and recoup costs/ rearrange.

I know someone who went ahead in the same situation, she got through the ceremony but started bleeding heavily during the meal and ended up going back to hospital in an ambulance and missing the whole reception 😬

But even if everything goes as favourably as possible dates and health wise (which is far from a given), those first weeks with a new baby are magical. I wouldn't want anything else demanding my attention.

It's a joy isn't it. I had the opposite problem. My bowels completely shut down and I couldn't poo for a month. Enemas , manual bowel evacuation by a midwife , glycerin suppositories and squatting in a bath of warm water to pass anything. Mastitis and depression followed. I couldn't walk as far as the end of the drive for a month. I had hyperemesis throughout the pregnancy so the day after he was born I was a size 8 but my breasts were huge, rock-hard melons once the milk came in and my belly was a weird deflated balloon for weeks. I wore normal jeans to stop the weird wobble feeling. Couldn't get to the supermarket for a month. Can't imagine attending my own wedding ( and ever wanting to look at the photos again).

Honestly, two weeks after my daughter was born I was an emotional shell of a human being (Obviously loved her dearly but had no idea who I was anymore). If I’d have had something as important as my wedding day, I probably wouldn’t have remembered it 🤣 you’ll only get married once - I’d personally push it back. You’ll be exhausted, bleeding, sore, emotional and you’ll feel more like walking to the moon than being in a white dress, smiling, talking to lots of people and taking photos. That all being said, my daughter is the best thing in my life and you’ll never feel love like it. Good luck with your pregnancy x

It's possible.

Enjoyable? Not in the slightest.

LOL at anyone even entertaining the idea.

At 2 weeks, we were in survival mode. I could barely walk around the block. DS was cluster feeding every hour. I was COVERED in sweat and breastmilk. So sleep deprived, I was constantly hallucinating (very common post partum).

Making myself presentable for 30 minutes visits from family to meet the baby felt like a monumental task.

Two weeks after your due date or two weeks after the latest you might be giving birth?

Two weeks after my due date I was in hospital having had an emergency c-section the previous day.

Have you spoken to your venue and suppliers? They might be willing to change the date

Oh yeah, I forgot about the bleeding! Even if you have a c section, you still bleed constantly for almost 6 weeks, like a heavy period. Really adds to the disgusting state you're in.

Oh my goodness no. Even if baby is on time , 2 weeks post partem and a first time mum as well, you are not going to want to be doing anything let alone hosting your own wedding!!!

My first DC was 11 days late and we had to stay in hospital for 10 days as he got an infection and was jaundiced. I was stitched from here to there and couldn’t sit down without a special pillow for over a week. Breastfeeding was difficult to establish and I was feeding every couple of hours. He didn’t sleep well so neither did I. I bled for 6 weeks.

I could barely get out of my pyjamas after 2 weeks never mind get married.

This is such a crazy idea, I can't believe it's a real post!

Best case scenario - baby is 2 weeks early but healthy and you have a 4 week old on your wedding day - you'll feel fat, exhausted and hormonal, your boobs will be leaky and you might be struggling to come to terms with your new life. You will miss big chunks of your big day because your baby won't settle. Also you won't have had time for any last minute wedding prep for the 4 weeks before your big day.

Worst case scenario - baby is two weeks late. They won't (medically) let you go over more than that. You are induced a day or two before your wedding day and spend the wedding day in a long labour. In fact I can't imagine much more stressful (or bad for you and baby) than the wedding date approaching ever nearer and you still waiting to go into labour, with all your plans hinging on baby arriving in time not to fuck the whole thing up.

There are so many scenarios in between too - what if the baby needs some special care and you have a wedding date fast approaching. What if you have a postpartum complication and are in hospital on your wedding day? Trust me - don't put yourself through the stress. Don't even think about it - reschedule and thank me later!

I think regardless of whether you are physically fit, baby comes on time/ early and baby doing well… even if it’s perfect tick tick tick (incredibly unlikely btw).

Then it’s still madness.

This is the biggest thing you will ever do. I don’t see why you would put yourself under this stress. Even if you’re super lucky and everything is perfect it’s going to horrible worrying about the wedding. What could have been a perfect moment will be so stressful.

If I was the person officiating I’d refuse the wedding. There is no way you can be “of sound mind” with a newborn, its a time for survival, not a time for legal commitments

Have a good talk with your fiancé and see if you both like the idea of bringing the wedding forward to as soon as possible . You don’t say how far on you are but if under 12 weeks you could easily organise something and you never know , the venue may have space due to a cancellation. Otherwise resign yourself to postponing for at least a year from now . No way would I chance what you’re suggesting- far too many variables.
You might be extremely lucky and have a straightforward ‘easy’ birth , I hope you do for your sake - but there are no guarantees.
Good Luck.

My skin broke out in big zits and the period migraines that had stopped during pregnancy came back with a vengeance. I lost lots and lots of hair.My DIL had an emergency section, after being induced and labour not progressing after 3 days, pessaries and a sweep. She doesn't deal very well with anaesthetic and was as white as the whitest sheet for weeks. I had multiple stitches and walked like I was on a pair of skis for weeks .The stitches itched like bloody hell.

My mother was a superintendent registrar for years. If the couple getting married had children she would ask who fhe nominated carer was for the the ceremony ( it absolutely cannot be the bride or groom). You are making vows in a legally binding ceremony. You would not be allowed to hold your baby during the vows or stop so you could nip off to breastfeed. The registrar will speak to each of you separately before the ceremony ( to make sure it isn't fake). They'll ask you questions like your fiancé's birth date. Your brain will be mush

Ok that's nuts.

Not all of us were in survival mode and not of sound mind. How patronising and infantilising.

If you shouldn't sign any official documents or make any important decisions, then why do we have to register their birth in the first few weeks 🙄

I agree.

Of course most women are capable of making big decisions when they have just given birth. Looking after a newborn and keeping them safe is full of big decisions including naming them, registering them, maybe a christening at a few weeks old etc so if someone wants to get married then, of course it shouldn't be refused.

No way would I get married 2 weeks after giving birth. I had straight forward natural births but still wouldn't have been upto getting g married the bleeding and boob leakage alone would stop me.