Due 2 weeks before wedding!

[Colliedogwalker]

Hello,
I have just found out i am pregnant and due 2 weeks before my wedding. Unfortunately wedding insurance dose not help for this and alot has already been paid.
First time mother and needing to know really what its like the first two weeks after. I fully understand everyone is different but i want to be as prepared as possible.

😍

The OP has disappeared… 🤔
Do you think this post was for real?!

The reality is, you will still be bleeding. The baby will be waking you every 2hrs. You will be swollen everywhere, and leaking from multiple places.

I barely left the house for a month after I had my first DC. Perfect pregnancy, horrendous birth and c-section. No way I would have been able to even think about someone else’s wedding, let alone my own. Then I had a velcro baby who cluster fed 18 hours a day, once we’d finally sorted his latch out and fixed my mastitis.

I also know someone who had their first child at home with no painkillers, no damage to her and went to a shopping centre with their baby the next day. But I still don’t think she’d have been up to her own wedding two weeks later.

If nothing else you are going to be bleeding heavily (something I did not know when I got pregnant with my first). I went through so many cheap pants even with the ginormous pads. There’s no way I’d have worn white anything at that point. First babies are often over due. You might have leaky sore boobs. Your hormones are all over the place and you will likely be weepy / having mood swings. You’ll be exhausted, sleep deprived. I wouldn’t be surprised if you remembered nothing. This is all assuming you have a straightforward birth. You may end up with a C-section and be on bed rest. You really can’t have the wedding then!

If nothing else you are going to be bleeding heavily

She may not. It is common to bleed most heavily for the first week, or even days and for it then to decrease from then. This was the case for my 2 births. I breastfed which I think in general can make lochia shorter (and sharper!). I was certainly not bleeding heavily after 2 weeks.

Ok change my post to ‘might be bleeding heavily’ then if you want to be pedantic. There’s no way to know how your body will be or when the baby will be born. I also breastfed my 2 and the bleeding stopped completely at 4 weeks both times, I still wouldn’t have risked a wedding dress at any point in those first few weeks!

Rearrange. You won’t be able to go even if the baby is on time and there’s absolutely no complications. You bleed HEAVILY with blood clots for up to 6 weeks after delivery. Your breasts are engorged, sore and uncomfortable, with milk leaking in the first 3 months. 2 weeks postpartum and your level of exhaustion is beyond anything that you can comprehend. The first few weeks are literally sitting on the sofa with a baby attached to your nipple whilst you both try to establish a milk supply.

I’ve had 4 births with zero complications. NO WAY would I haave been able to get married 2 weeks after giving birth. Also, all 4 of mine were late.

What's with the huge level of generalisations again?

For a start, women get married whilst on their period all the time. It's not the ideal, but it's not considered a disaster! Lots of women have finished bleeding within a couple of weeks, especially if - like me, they had sections. To some maybe bleeding heavily, some not at all. Either way, it's not a big deal.

Not everyone leaks milk. Mine didn't (weirdly they started 9 months in 🤷), but breastfeeding did mean I had great cleavage for the first time.

I was less tired both times than during pregnancy than with a newborn. Even with a cluster feeding colicky second child. My first day of sitting on the sofa all day, for either child was several months after my second where I'd had a accident and damaged my ankle.

I'm not saying that some people don't feel knackered, and that everyone has easy recoveries. Some are in are leaking from pretty much every orifice at that stage, but let's not make generalisations.

Very true, not everyone is the same. But for me, two weeks after giving birth I was having painful contractions and passing blood clots the size of golf balls. I remember feeling faint with some of them

Crikey that's a lot of bleeding. I'm hoping you manage to get some help for that because after a couple of days, passing a clot more than a 50 pence a piece is call GP or go to a hospital immediately territory! Did you need blood transfusions?

That sounds very rough.

No, midwife came; inspected them, took my obs and told me it was normal. Didn’t bother alarming myself with subsequent ones.

I think in this case, one should be prepared for a more realistic, worse cae scenario. Assuming you won't be bleeding and/or leaking and/or exhausted, ready to wear a nice dress, get your hair done and spend an afternoon celebrating is just not realistic. And there's also all the organizing that needs to be done before the event, even for a small wedding the weeks before are very busy.

I could barely walk 2 weeks after giving birth the first time and was exhausted because my baby hardly slept, plus I was anaemic. No way could I have attended a wedding let alone got married. You have no idea what your pregnancy and birth will be like, let alone post-partum.

It might be one of those cases where the official line is panic stations, but in reality, they're not too worried. I'm glad you were ok.

For someone who only needed more than panty liners for 4-5 days, it sounded quite alarming! It's amazing how much it can vary. Maybe it's true that they clean you out if you have a section 🤷

Anyway, regardless of the lochia situation, it's a terrible idea to get married then for a thousand different reasons.

I was still pregnant 2 weeks after my due date! He finally arrived term +20!

I think the OP will be postponing the baby after reading all of these replies.

I thought that earlier in the thread!

I am all for honesty but some of these stories are, whilst I dont doubt their veracity, utterly terrifying for a first timer!

I am not saying that the wedding is doable, getting married as in going to the registry and saying the words then going home is but not The Wedding. But there is no need to put the fear of god into the poor woman!

I had a c section and was still bleeding up to 6 weeks, some days not much, some days like the worst heaviest period I had ever had.

@3luckystars For me, everyone was very positive and kept telling me that while it's hard, how lovely and sleepy newborns are, how in love we will be, how it's the best thing I will ever do. It was quite unhelpful as I had quite unrealistic expectations, I hadn't quite understood the meaning of "hard". The newborn period was actually terrifying and I can’t bring myself to have baby no.2 as it was so horrific.

He's 1 and still doesn't sleep through the night. It took all the energy I had to get my hair and makeup done for a professional photoshoot for his first birthday. I still wouldn't be up for organizing a wedding even now.

Congratulations! You need to rearrange. We went back to hospital the week after my baby was born. I had a musician job at a wedding 6 weeks after my baby was born but wouldn’t have wanted to do anything sooner. The venue has loads of time to fill that date.

I wouldn't. Both mine were late (5 days and 4 days), first one I had problems afterwards and was basically bed-bound for 2 weeks. Second one was easy, and I went to Sainsburys and Costa when she was two days old, but I still had the physical problems like boobs and waiting for the bleeding and cramping to go though.

Bring the wedding forward, way forward?
You will not only be exceptionally tired leading up to the baby’s arrival but also stressed enough that you may or may not have the baby to fit in with the wedding date.
Its a rare pregnant bride who gets to enjoy the ceremony and celebrations with the enthusiasm of her guests.

I had an elective c-section at 39 weeks sand reckon I could have gotten my s* together to attend a wedding 3 weeks later - but I was 1) lucky and 2) formula feeding, which is a lot easier than breastfeeding.

In your position, I wouldn’t take the risk - bring it forward or push it back.

Tbh, nearly everyone I know went over with their first by between 1-2 weeks. In my Nct group we had several c sections, 3 babies in Nicu for varying time. Mums with infections inc HDU admission

Im struggling to see how you can get married 2 weeks after your due date.