Hoping for a sticky one!

[Perimumopausal]

Hi everyone!

I just thought I would post this because I have spent countless hours reading other people's posts and comments trying to calm myself down and ended up sressing myself out more through not seeing others with the same experience.

I am 36 with two living children and one loss in between. The eldest is 13 and the youngest is 9. I have been worried for a while about perimenopause after losing hair, greying and generally feeling achy and old. I had a 5 year copper coil that had been in waaaay over the time it was supposed to be in (around two extra years - please don't judge, I know I am grim!) and I decided to remove it myself in the middle of June this year, which was surprisingly easy, painless and I didn't bleed at all. I figured that if it was that far out of date and nothing had happened, I wasn't likely to get pregnant now.

I usually have around a 26 day cycle, and since removing my coil, I have been a bit more irregular (between 24 and 29 days) with between 2 and 4 days of spotting before I have bled properly. Even then, the bleeding has been very minimal with a few clots and some random uterine tissue. I did have a LEEP procedure in around 2017 and since then, I have been worried my cervix may have been blocked after the gynaecologist couldn't fit the 10year coil due to the amount of scar tissue.

I bought some LH strips out of curiosity and for the first time this month (3rd full cycle), I got a line as dark as the control line on the 14th of September. When I got another just as dark the following day, I had an odd 'feeling' a bit like anxiety just before me and the OH BD'd. At what I am guessing is around 7dpo (basing potential ovulation on the 16th of September), I decided to do a cheapie 'freedom' strip test from Tesco, knowing it was completely stupid that early on, and I was beyond shocked to see the faintest of lines. I then ran to Tesco and got another pack of 2 of the same strip tests and a digital clear blue just in case. Within hours I dipped the strip and it was stark white. Out of curiosity (and because I apparently enjoy torturing myself), I then took at least one every day for a few days following and got stark white negatives 8dpo, 9dpo, 10dpo and 11dpo. Eventually, I figured the test at 7dpo was an evap, even though it had the tiniest hint of pink.

I have had all my usual pre menstrual symptoms, hormonal migraine (also around 7dpo), slight nausea, tender under-boobs, rage, tears, womb cramps, constipation and then needing the toilet, gas, minimal watery/tacky CM and then yesterday at 11dpo, some spotting after I decided to check my cervical position. It was quite low down, a little flat to the wall and slightly open. Not unusual for me at all. The second I saw pink in clear/creamy CM, I knew it was over. I did also wedge a bit of tissue up there and saw more pinky red. I also noticed my boobs weren't as tender. Then I sobbed myself to sleep like a moron.

Today at 12dpo, I decided to do a random LH strip just to see what it would look like at this point in my cycle and it was almost as dark as the control line. I panicked after reading that higher levels at random times can indicate perimenopause or PCOS. I did also read though, that it can be normal for LH to rise just before a period or that it can sometimes indicate early pregnancy due to the similarities between HCG and LH?

I went to Tesco for the food shop and promised myself if I bought one last delusional pack of two HCG strips, that would be it and I would never allow myself to test unless I was a week late, ever again. I fully expected to see another stark white stick of disappointment, but instead I got another squinter just like the one at 7dpo. My brain would not shut up and I waited until I could squeeze out enough to dip the last strip and it looked exactly the same. A friend who is a 'bad influence', persuaded me to waste my only digital and I only went and got a bloody positive?!

Now I'm just scared it won't stick and I won't believe it is even a thing until I see it on a screen.

Current situation: I still have heaviness in my womb area and I feel like I could come on my period at any moment. My boobs don't really feel as tender. I always have weird vivid dreams and indigestion anyway, so I wouldn't notice if those changed. I haven't needed to wee more than usual. My nipples haven't darked, got bigger or become like bullets. I'm not any more tired than usual. I honestly don't think there is anything I can say is noticeably different.

Good luck everyone trying to get their BFP and I hope this helps someone losing their mind the way I do.

Hopefully you can see the strip from today that I had to edit like hell for it still to be barely noticeable! 😂 I still can't get my head around how a digital picked anything up at all. The strip test from 7dpo and the second strip from today looked pretty much the same.

@Perimumopausal fingers crossed my sickness is starting to ease a tiny bit, 15 weeks today & whilst I did throw up first thing & I still feel nauseous, it's definitely a little less than it has been.

I had to reduce the anti sickness because the hideous constipation that came with it was unbearable but I am managing on just one tablet a day now.

But I've already got indigestion, so I might be skipping that glowing, healthy middle stage & going straight into all the later symptoms!

@Perimumopausal oh wow that’s early.
nope never felt him kick etc, would feel him swim but that was all.
hoping you start to feel better soon and get to enjoy some food.
we find out Saturday if baby is a girl or boy, can’t wait.

also we had a pre Xmas get together at my in laws today and most people commented on big I was already 🙄 it really gets to me, I had it last time and I felt so self conscious.
I did say to them I’m only petite at 5ft 1 so baby has to grow some way but I feel I get compared to my sis in-law who didn’t even show till 7 months and by 9 looked like a normal 5 month pregnant lady 🤦🏻‍♀️

@JustAnOrdinaryHuman same here with indigestion and I’m getting heartburn, I also do not look glowing yet like i did with my son, I don’t think it’ll come 🤣

@JustAnOrdinaryHuman
I have indigestion regardless of pregnancy but when I'm pregnant it is so unbearable I usually end up on Omeprazole 🤣 I never had a glowing stage in any of my pregnancies, it has always been straight from nausea and vomiting to a collapsed pelvis, sleeping upright on the sofa and waking up with acid in my mouth multiple times a night hahaha. It's such a beautiful thing!

@Samthenanny
What's early? The heartbeat at 13 weeks or feeling movement at 22 weeks? The movement was fluttery at first, just like ripply gas feelings and then it got stronger over time. I definitely felt kicking because my ribs were shifted lol but because I am a chub, even though I could feel them from the outside and see little jiggles or pointy bits, I never got that thing where people literally see outlines of feet and stuff. I hope I still get to feel them from the outside this time even though I am more padded than with the last two 🤣 I haven't felt so much as a flutter yet but I'm not expecting anything for a good few weeks, obviously. I only know they are rolling aroung from when I listen in with the Doppler.
Are you hoping for a boy or a girl? Or do you not mind?
I know it's hard not to take things to heart but everyone's body's are so different. I already look about 6 to 8 months, it's ridiculous! But I am actually just making the most of looking pregnant for as long as possible because it will be the last time and it's the only time I feel comfortable in my own skin, because I don't have to feel conscious about looking a certain way in clothes😂

@Perimumopausal the heartbeat, especially doing it by yourself, I’d worry I wouldn’t find it.
I’ve felt popping but think it’s too early to be baby.
I would like a girl as then I’d have one of each but I’m pretty certain it’s a boy.
Same here I’m enjoying looking pregnant but would just like people to keep opinions to themselves, I suppose I just wouldn’t say it to someone so I’m a bit taken aback.

Ah, yeah I had a Doppler with both the other two and I am quite tuned in to sound and bpm from being a musician so that possibly helps. It takes a bit to find them. Sometimes I'll find them and then they roll over and hide 🤣 rude.

I have one of each but the girl has been wild and this is my partners first (and only if he sticks around 🤣) and he would love a son but we will be happy either way.

Yeah, people are so weird how they just say stuff. I wouldn't either. I found it a real shock the first time when people I had just met, thought it was totally okay to to rub my bump. I wa like excuse me?!

Hope you both had a lovely Christmas & managed to enjoy some of the food.

My sickness has definitely eased in the last week, as long as I stick with the eating little & often.

Random question, I've had a hideous headache for over 4 days now, any tips on managing it? I'm staying hydrated & keeping on top of paracetamol, which reduces it but doesn't get rid of it. I'm a migraine sufferer in general & my migraine medicine can't be used in pregnancy, so not sure of anything else I can do.

Merry Christmas 🎄

how’s everyone feeling?

im still feeling nauseous, tired etc but we did find out baby is a boy 💙

sorry @JustAnOrdinaryHuman cant help with the headaches, hope they pass soon for you

Hi everyone!

Merry Christmas! Luckily my nausea and sickness has started to ease off over the last few days just in time for Christmas and I managed a whole plate of Christmas dinner and pudding! It was the first full meal I have been able to eat in almost 10 weeks so I was very grateful. I have started on Omeprazole as well so that is helping with some of it.

@JustAnOrdinaryHuman I am a hormonal migraine sufferer and I found out a while ago about the links between that and histamine production, so I started taking antihistamines the few days leading up to my period and it actually helped. I just did a bit of research to see if that sort of thing is linked in pregnancy and I found some sources that seemed to back it up so that might be something worth looking into? It's worth a try at least?

@Samthenanny A boy! How lovely! Do you have a name picked out for him yet? I hope that's a trend because I really would love this one to be a boy. Either way, I am beginning to allow myself to get a little more excited now rather than nervous about things being okay.

@Perimumopausal glad to hear you’re feeling better and could enjoy Christmas dinner.
i know, I was 80% sure he’d be a boy as everything has been exactly the same as with my sons pregnancy.
we have 1 name we both agree on yes, it’s Spencer, it took us forever with our 3yr old and his name was the only one we both liked.

Are you finding out at your 20 week scan hat sex baby is?

Spencer is a lovely name 😍
Yes we will be finding out. I have had two surprises with my son and my daughter and this is my partner's first and only child (and he doesn't do surprises) so I have let him take the lead on this one.
The scan is on the 19th of January, but my 9 year old has insisted on doing a gender reveal party and my son won't be home from his dad's until the 31st, so we have to wait to actually find out 😂
I wish I had an inkling based on my previous experiences but both of my pregnancies were pretty much identical from the symptoms, to the way I carried, to the amount of days late they were arriving. There was nothing that separated them really at all. Even their births were pretty much the same, so I have absolutely no idea this time around! Still hoping for a boy but I have a feeling that because of that, it will be a girl 😂

@Perimumopausal thank you, it’s the only one we agree one so far.
ooh exciting not long to go, love that you’ve got to wait haha.
It’s crazy to think we’re in month 5 isn’t it.
I’ve gone from eating everything all the time to not being able to able dinner as I feel so stuffed and uncomfortable.

I can't get my head around how quickly this is going and it makes me a bit sad. I have gone from not being able to eat anything because of my nausea and vomiting, to wanting everything but still struggling because I am now uncomfortable with indigestion 😂 can't win.
I have been very impulsive this evening and ordered a bedside crib thing and a changing bag. I am actually quite shocked at myself because I am still not convinced it's actually happening. I don't know why I am struggling to accept it might actually end up okay.

@Perimumopausal oh wow did you. I’ve been eyeing a few bits but not bought yet.
when’s your 20 week scan?
mines the 26th Jan, I have a consultant appointment on Monday and then I don’t see the midwife till end of April! That seems like a long time to go but guess it’s normal worn second pregnancies 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve been uncomfortable the last few days, I’m so tired also, thought in the second trimester you’re meant to feel better 🤣

My 20 week scan is on January 19th. They are going to check my cervix on the same day to check competence and see if I need a stitch. I can't remember my next midwife appointment date but I am sure it is Jan/Feb. I think it depends on your circumstances. I had gestational diabetes with my 2nd child, both my children were considered small for their gestational age, I have a high BMI, past truama/abuse and we have a lot of struggles with my daughter as a result, which means we have a lot of involvement from external services, so they are quite on it with my appointments. They also know I won't go into hospital to give birth unless there is something very seriously medically wrong, so we have a special midwife that negotiates and advocates for home births in our area that will be talking to me at some point to see if she agrees with my choices based on my 'risk' factors. It's quite a lot. I do remember having a lot less involvement from the midwives with my daughter as a second pregnancy even though I had gestational diabetes. Nobody ever actually followed it up once I was diagnosed and had been given the finger prick kit and instructed on what to do and what to look for. It wasn't until I gave birth and drove over to the hospital later to hand them my placenta to check it over and check her over, that they mentioned it because they needed to do heel prick tests on her every hour overnight. I was a bit disgruntled at having to stay but everything was fine anyway.

that is a lot but good that you get so much care.
I had my consultant app Monday at 9:30, hospital rang at 9:05 to say he’d not turned up 🤦🏻‍♀️ I went in to be seen my the midwife as I’d been having pains etc but all was good just a slightly high BP & I asked about appointments, from 26 weeks I have fortnightly scans because of previous small baby which has reassured me.
got the consultant Monday hopefully he turns up this week!

im just trying to work out what I need to buy, I think mostly clothes as my little boy was a September baby but wore tiny baby clothes for about 5-6 weeks so everything will be out size wise and season wise

How's everyone doing? I've not been on here for a while, worked over Christmas & then came down with the flu afterwards, so have been recovering slowly.

I've had my 20 week scan and all looking good. It's a small baby but bottom end of normal, so fine, just different to what I'm used to.

How is your blood pressure now? Did they work out why it was up? I am petrified of having pre eclampsia or anything that will mean I have to go to hospital to give birth or to be induced or have a c section etc. I am praying I can get through this with as little complications as possible.

We have bought a convertible crib but honestly that's about it. We won't have to buy clothes because we have so many people around us that have had babies recently that want to get rid of their stuff 🤣

I hope you feel better now after your flu. I'm glad your 20 week scan went well. It's crazy thinking that's where we are at now. It feels like time is just disappearing! 😞 Did you find out what you were having?

@Perimumopausal ah my blood pressure was up again, I’m monitoring at home. I had preeclampsia previously so they might end up putting me on meds if it keeps rising.
I don’t want preeclampsia again that wasn’t fun at all.

fingers crossed for you that you have no complications. Did you end up getting your cervix checked?
have you had your 20 week scan yet?
mines on Monday I’ll be 20+6

I read your comment ‘we have a bought a convertible’ as that and was like wow how will that work 🤣 then obviously read the rest.
that’s handy with clothes.
im trying to work out what I’ll need clothes wise, need to get in the loft at the weekend and see what’s what

@JustAnOrdinaryHuman sorry you where poorly, not ideal when we can’t take much.
ah was it nice to see baby again?
I forgot they give an estimate weight, as long as baby is growing that’s all that matters.
my little boy was 5lb 1oz when born, absolutely tiny he was but didn’t need help etc and even to this day is small

Oh no 😩 I hope you don't get it again! Did it impact your labour in any way or were the meds enough? I don't really know how it works. Were there any signs before you were diagnosed?

Yeah, I got my cervix checked on Monday after my 20 week scan. All seems fine as far as they can see through my extra padding 🤣

The crib thingy we got is a tuti bambini co sleepy type crib which then extends into a cot and then converts to a toddler bed and then some sort of settee, so it's usable for about 4 years which is better than spending money on a crib that only last for 6 months or so and then having to spend more on a cot and then more on a toddler bed.

I will end up with far too many clothes from other people which is lucky because I didn't keep any of the clothes from the other two since I was done hahahaha

A friend from work gave me a car seat, a pram thing and some wheels today which is helpful as well. I don't think I am probably going to end up buying much, if anything at this point!

It's beginning to feel more real now. Are you able to feel them yet? I am only just beginning to get those "wait, is that them?" Little flutters but nothing solid because of this silly anterior placenta for the third time! I can't wait to feel them properly. It's my favourite thing about being pregnant and makes the vomiting and the pelvic collapse pain worth it for me 🤣

@Perimumopausal yes I had signs from 30 weeks, major swelling but midwife didn’t listen to me 🤦🏻‍♀️ I ended up at 35+5 being sent to hospital with a high bp, sat around for ages an told to go home as my bloods weren’t back. 35+6 weeks felt awful and baby went crazy movement wise in the eve, I rang and said it wasn’t normal as I had a anterior placenta and didn’t usually feel him, told it’d be fine. 36 weeks I drove myself to hospital as I felt like crap and my bp was 187/120 they kept me in, rang my partner and baby was born via emergency section that day! Recovery was awful and I had high bp for around 7/8 weeks after birth.

I definitely should’ve spoken up more but assumed they’d know best 🙄 this time around I’m standing my ground.

@Perimumopausal oh wow you’ll definitely get your use out of that.
perfect if you don’t need to buy much, bay stuff is expensive!

Yes I do feel baby move, not every day but maybe every other and more so if I’m sitting down, which has shocked me as I have a anterior again so assumed I wouldn’t like with my first but this time I feel him kick towards the sode of my stomach, down low and then feel him flip around.

3 times with a anterior wow it’s bizarre isn’t it, especially to have one with all 3. Hopefully you’ll feel move more the less space they get haha

Oh my! I am so sorry you had that experience :(
It is so frustrating when you put your faith in professionals and they fail you isn't it? I don't know if it is because I am pushing 40, but I have had enough now and I am not so friendly anymore. You have to fight for yourself because nobody else seems to listen if you don't, which really sucks. I hope you have a much better experience this time.

I definitely had felt more flutters by now with the other two but it seemed to be around 22 weeks that I was sure of the movements, so we shall see where we are in another week or so. I could really do with that right now to cheer me up a bit.