Hoping for a sticky one!

[Perimumopausal]

Hi everyone!

I just thought I would post this because I have spent countless hours reading other people's posts and comments trying to calm myself down and ended up sressing myself out more through not seeing others with the same experience.

I am 36 with two living children and one loss in between. The eldest is 13 and the youngest is 9. I have been worried for a while about perimenopause after losing hair, greying and generally feeling achy and old. I had a 5 year copper coil that had been in waaaay over the time it was supposed to be in (around two extra years - please don't judge, I know I am grim!) and I decided to remove it myself in the middle of June this year, which was surprisingly easy, painless and I didn't bleed at all. I figured that if it was that far out of date and nothing had happened, I wasn't likely to get pregnant now.

I usually have around a 26 day cycle, and since removing my coil, I have been a bit more irregular (between 24 and 29 days) with between 2 and 4 days of spotting before I have bled properly. Even then, the bleeding has been very minimal with a few clots and some random uterine tissue. I did have a LEEP procedure in around 2017 and since then, I have been worried my cervix may have been blocked after the gynaecologist couldn't fit the 10year coil due to the amount of scar tissue.

I bought some LH strips out of curiosity and for the first time this month (3rd full cycle), I got a line as dark as the control line on the 14th of September. When I got another just as dark the following day, I had an odd 'feeling' a bit like anxiety just before me and the OH BD'd. At what I am guessing is around 7dpo (basing potential ovulation on the 16th of September), I decided to do a cheapie 'freedom' strip test from Tesco, knowing it was completely stupid that early on, and I was beyond shocked to see the faintest of lines. I then ran to Tesco and got another pack of 2 of the same strip tests and a digital clear blue just in case. Within hours I dipped the strip and it was stark white. Out of curiosity (and because I apparently enjoy torturing myself), I then took at least one every day for a few days following and got stark white negatives 8dpo, 9dpo, 10dpo and 11dpo. Eventually, I figured the test at 7dpo was an evap, even though it had the tiniest hint of pink.

I have had all my usual pre menstrual symptoms, hormonal migraine (also around 7dpo), slight nausea, tender under-boobs, rage, tears, womb cramps, constipation and then needing the toilet, gas, minimal watery/tacky CM and then yesterday at 11dpo, some spotting after I decided to check my cervical position. It was quite low down, a little flat to the wall and slightly open. Not unusual for me at all. The second I saw pink in clear/creamy CM, I knew it was over. I did also wedge a bit of tissue up there and saw more pinky red. I also noticed my boobs weren't as tender. Then I sobbed myself to sleep like a moron.

Today at 12dpo, I decided to do a random LH strip just to see what it would look like at this point in my cycle and it was almost as dark as the control line. I panicked after reading that higher levels at random times can indicate perimenopause or PCOS. I did also read though, that it can be normal for LH to rise just before a period or that it can sometimes indicate early pregnancy due to the similarities between HCG and LH?

I went to Tesco for the food shop and promised myself if I bought one last delusional pack of two HCG strips, that would be it and I would never allow myself to test unless I was a week late, ever again. I fully expected to see another stark white stick of disappointment, but instead I got another squinter just like the one at 7dpo. My brain would not shut up and I waited until I could squeeze out enough to dip the last strip and it looked exactly the same. A friend who is a 'bad influence', persuaded me to waste my only digital and I only went and got a bloody positive?!

Now I'm just scared it won't stick and I won't believe it is even a thing until I see it on a screen.

Current situation: I still have heaviness in my womb area and I feel like I could come on my period at any moment. My boobs don't really feel as tender. I always have weird vivid dreams and indigestion anyway, so I wouldn't notice if those changed. I haven't needed to wee more than usual. My nipples haven't darked, got bigger or become like bullets. I'm not any more tired than usual. I honestly don't think there is anything I can say is noticeably different.

Good luck everyone trying to get their BFP and I hope this helps someone losing their mind the way I do.

Hopefully you can see the strip from today that I had to edit like hell for it still to be barely noticeable! 😂 I still can't get my head around how a digital picked anything up at all. The strip test from 7dpo and the second strip from today looked pretty much the same.

Please don't apologise for one second. We are all in this together and you can message whenever you need to! I have never even seen a spot of any kind in any of my previous pregnancies until I miscarried my middle one, so I have been absolutely losing my mind. I feel like a psycho. The spotting seems to have tapered off now so I am crossing my flaps (excuse the grim pun) and hoping for the best. I decided to bite the bullet and register online yesterday and I had a booking appointment come through today for the 29th of October. I feel like a fraud 😂 I caved and took another test today. It was a different brand called Ovum which is slightly more sensitive so I can actually see a line. I'm not taking it as progression but it has satisfied the itch for now. I did go through my diary from my pregnancy with my son and I didn't even test until I was 6 days late for my period and that was faint so I am just rolling with it. Do you know when you ovulated or what your estimated due date would be?

@JustAnOrdinaryHuman they say spotting is normal so fingers crossed the little bean sticks for you.
same with the midwife, I might have sit till I’ve had my scan at the epu then refer myself

I remember the night after I had taken my first test with my son (6 days after period was due) I have never felt more like I was coming on my period. The cramps were so intense and heavy feeling, I was sure I was going to wake up to blood, and nothing. I'm not feeling much at all to be honest. Boobs aren't really that tender. I don't feel any more queasy than usual. It's a whole lot of nothing other than my brain going off on one 😂

I’m so tired and have had a banging headache but I think that’s less hormonal and more lack of caffeine. I didn’t drink a great deal of coffee though so who knows! Migraine sounds unpleasant. Ahh don’t feel like a fraud. Was it a good one?

I have stopped vaping which is not remotely fun! I always get these hormone migraine type things. They are like pressure and they make me feel so sick. I hope it's not a bad sign. Are you asking if the test was a good one?

I really hope these are all good signs for you.

No was the pod cast a good one 😂
I get crappy hormonal headaches too but not full
blown migraines 🤢

Oh hahaha I did wonder what you meant. It was alright. I felt really uncomfortable listening because my brain kept saying "why are you listening to this? You aren't pregnant." It's wild what your brain can do to you. Yeah, I always end up getting knocked out for a couple of days with mine. I can barely move or I throw up. It's rubbish.

Yeah trying to protect itself I suppose. It’s so stressful. Are you booking an early scan?

I have never done that before and I'm not sure whether I have the money laying around to be honest, but part of me is tempted. What about you? My biggest concern if I make it to term is the giving birth part for all the opposite reasons to most people. I am going to be considered high risk because of my age, my BMI and if my last pregnancy is anything to go by, gestational diabetes. But I do not want to give birth in hospital. I absolutely hate hospitals and have never set foot in one during labour. I know they will be really pushy this time and I don't know how to handle that one.

Thanks,

I think I'm around 4 weeks but not really sure at all. I was on the Depo injection for years, came off that & went onto the pill to gradually come off contraception. Stopped taking that in May.

Then first period was end of June, started with spotting, then a couple of days gap & then a super heavy period. Same happened end of July/beginning of August as well - that period was so heavy I literally had to nip to the shops during work for new underwear & leggings.

Then the period at the end of August was lighter than the last two but still a fairly substantial period.

I roughly tracked that my next period would have been due around September 24th, but it was hard to tell, because they aren't totally settled yet. I started spotting on 18th & thought oh hear we go again, but the heavy period didn't come.

So I think I could be anything from 2 weeks to 5 weeks pregnant depending on when you count the first day of my past period, is it the first day of the spotting? Or the first day of actual flow? Also depending on the length of my cycles, which I think are about 28 days but I'm not sure.

The digital test say 1-2 weeks, which I think means slightly more than that but not much?

The spotting has eased off this evening but the cramping is hideous & I've got the low back pain as well.

From what I have read over the years, they go by your first flow day. Mine was the 3rd of September for my last period, so I am exactly four weeks today. (Wednesday 1st of October)

So I guess you would be over 4 or 5 weeks, depending on what day you came on? You said your spotting started on the 18th, which sounds about right for implantation doesn't it? What was your spotting like? Has it gone completely? How long did it last?

I am a bit unnerved by how asymptomatic I am. The only thing I've got is that heavy feeling in my womb like I'm going to come on my period any minute. I hate how literally every early pregnancy symptom is literally the same as pre menstrual symptoms as well. I just wish there was a way to know for definite.

@Perimumopausal spotting hasn't gone completely, it was about two & half days of fairly steady spotting, then it totally stopped. Has just started again in the last few days but much less, just a tiny bit when wiping and not all the time.

I don't really have any pregnancy specific symptoms either, just once that could mean both, heavy feeling in womb, feeling super bloated, low back pain etc..

I did call the booking line today, thought I had better mention the spotting & see when they wanted to see me, I'm all booked in for later this month & they said to call back if anything changes.

How you feeling today?

@JustAnOrdinaryHuman
I am still really migrainey which makes me feel sicky. I usually only get that when I am due on so I am just panicking that it is my hormones struggling to stay where they need to be. I don't think I have ever felt this nervous at the beginning before. My booking appointment isn't until the end of October which feels like a lifetime away. I am trying so hard to remain calm and positive but it's really hard. I really hope your spotting calms down completely so you don't have to worry.

How is everyone else doing?

Yeah I know what you mean. I think I’ll be able to get one at the EPU at 7 weeks because my last PG was a PUL. With my DD I did have a scan at 7 weeks because of a MMC.
Yeah I’ll be high risk too. My DD was very prem and I went into spontaneous labor. Doing NICU with a little one at home will be so so much harder. The odds of a pre term when you’ve already had one is much greater too I think.

@Diamond89
Because I have only had one miscarriage, they don't see that as anything to consider, so I guess I will just have to wait until 12 weeks or pay for a private early scan. I am really tempted because I don't want to get my hopes up. This time around is kicking my arse mentally and I'm not sure why. I am struggling to focus at work because it's all I can think about. Please keep me updated. I am so hopeful for you all.

@Diamond89 i never knew that about odds being higher for a pre term if you’ve already had one. I had my little one at 36 weeks

@Perimumopausal same here with migraines/headaches, I’m putting it down to hormones. Read through my notes from my pregnancy symptoms with my little boy and I got them for quite a few weeks so hopefully it’s a good thing.
feeling really sicky still like I’m hungover and need to eat carbs, still having the odd cramps also.
have you spotting stopped now?

Yeah you’ll be consultant led and have more monitoring etc. Probably getting way ahead of myself and need to get through the next few weeks!

My head is pounding still, I’m sooo tired and my face is like a pizza. I don’t remember being all spotty with the others!

I’m now getting some spotting. It’s a bit of a funny orange colour rather than the brown spotting I’ve had in the past. Assuming it’s not good obviously.

@Samthenanny
I haven't had any spotting for a couple of days now so I am hoping that is the last I will see! It must be quite reassuring in a way, to feel sicky? I didn't get nausea or vomiting until around 9 weeks with either of my living children.

Are you going to call anyone? Sending all the dust possible x

I don’t think there’s much point right now. It’ll either pass and I’ll stress or a full blown bleed will begin tomorrow and I’ll know. We’ll see. Hope you’re ok 😊

You stay strong and I'll stay hopeful for you!
I'm okay. My 9 year old just admitted while I was tucking her into bed, that she saw one of my line tests in my bedroom when she was getting my headphones for me, and pulled out of the packet because she was curious. She asked if the second line meant I was pregnant! 😱🥴 I told her a little white lie and said because the line was faint, it just meant that I do still have some eggs left but that I will be on my period soon and if I was pregnant, both lines would have been the same colour! OMG

Oh god that sounds stressful. I think you may have managed to wriggle out of that one unless she goes to school and asks her friends 😂

Still spotting and some fresh blood now and cramping so pretty sure it’s game over.

Hope everyone else is ok.