Hi everyone!
I just thought I would post this because I have spent countless hours reading other people's posts and comments trying to calm myself down and ended up sressing myself out more through not seeing others with the same experience.
I am 36 with two living children and one loss in between. The eldest is 13 and the youngest is 9. I have been worried for a while about perimenopause after losing hair, greying and generally feeling achy and old. I had a 5 year copper coil that had been in waaaay over the time it was supposed to be in (around two extra years - please don't judge, I know I am grim!) and I decided to remove it myself in the middle of June this year, which was surprisingly easy, painless and I didn't bleed at all. I figured that if it was that far out of date and nothing had happened, I wasn't likely to get pregnant now.
I usually have around a 26 day cycle, and since removing my coil, I have been a bit more irregular (between 24 and 29 days) with between 2 and 4 days of spotting before I have bled properly. Even then, the bleeding has been very minimal with a few clots and some random uterine tissue. I did have a LEEP procedure in around 2017 and since then, I have been worried my cervix may have been blocked after the gynaecologist couldn't fit the 10year coil due to the amount of scar tissue.
I bought some LH strips out of curiosity and for the first time this month (3rd full cycle), I got a line as dark as the control line on the 14th of September. When I got another just as dark the following day, I had an odd 'feeling' a bit like anxiety just before me and the OH BD'd. At what I am guessing is around 7dpo (basing potential ovulation on the 16th of September), I decided to do a cheapie 'freedom' strip test from Tesco, knowing it was completely stupid that early on, and I was beyond shocked to see the faintest of lines. I then ran to Tesco and got another pack of 2 of the same strip tests and a digital clear blue just in case. Within hours I dipped the strip and it was stark white. Out of curiosity (and because I apparently enjoy torturing myself), I then took at least one every day for a few days following and got stark white negatives 8dpo, 9dpo, 10dpo and 11dpo. Eventually, I figured the test at 7dpo was an evap, even though it had the tiniest hint of pink.
I have had all my usual pre menstrual symptoms, hormonal migraine (also around 7dpo), slight nausea, tender under-boobs, rage, tears, womb cramps, constipation and then needing the toilet, gas, minimal watery/tacky CM and then yesterday at 11dpo, some spotting after I decided to check my cervical position. It was quite low down, a little flat to the wall and slightly open. Not unusual for me at all. The second I saw pink in clear/creamy CM, I knew it was over. I did also wedge a bit of tissue up there and saw more pinky red. I also noticed my boobs weren't as tender. Then I sobbed myself to sleep like a moron.
Today at 12dpo, I decided to do a random LH strip just to see what it would look like at this point in my cycle and it was almost as dark as the control line. I panicked after reading that higher levels at random times can indicate perimenopause or PCOS. I did also read though, that it can be normal for LH to rise just before a period or that it can sometimes indicate early pregnancy due to the similarities between HCG and LH?
I went to Tesco for the food shop and promised myself if I bought one last delusional pack of two HCG strips, that would be it and I would never allow myself to test unless I was a week late, ever again. I fully expected to see another stark white stick of disappointment, but instead I got another squinter just like the one at 7dpo. My brain would not shut up and I waited until I could squeeze out enough to dip the last strip and it looked exactly the same. A friend who is a 'bad influence', persuaded me to waste my only digital and I only went and got a bloody positive?!
Now I'm just scared it won't stick and I won't believe it is even a thing until I see it on a screen.
Current situation: I still have heaviness in my womb area and I feel like I could come on my period at any moment. My boobs don't really feel as tender. I always have weird vivid dreams and indigestion anyway, so I wouldn't notice if those changed. I haven't needed to wee more than usual. My nipples haven't darked, got bigger or become like bullets. I'm not any more tired than usual. I honestly don't think there is anything I can say is noticeably different.
Good luck everyone trying to get their BFP and I hope this helps someone losing their mind the way I do.
Hopefully you can see the strip from today that I had to edit like hell for it still to be barely noticeable! 😂 I still can't get my head around how a digital picked anything up at all. The strip test from 7dpo and the second strip from today looked pretty much the same.