Who’s more likely to be the dad? (Mortified)

[Expensiveplates]

I want to preface by saying I’m mortified. I’m 30, single and never had a scare in my life. I have severe endometriosis, PCOS and a blocked tube and was told I’d never carry a child naturally. Was even with a partner for seven years previously and used nothing- nothing happened so thought I was infertile.

Ive been single for 4 years, recently lost a lot of weight (7 stone) and was feeling really attractive. Had my period on 29th May, my periods are 35-45 days. Usually around 40

I went to a conference and slept with my colleague on the 2nd June, so 4 days after my period ended. I then also slept with someone on a first date on the 13th June.

I’ve now found out I’m pregnant (yesterday) and pretty much in shock. I don’t know when I ovulate and my cycles are so irregular I have zero idea. I’m 7 weeks ish, going from my last period but didn’t even test until yesterday as I’m used to 42 day cycles.

i think I want to keep the baby, I own my own home and have a good job but I also don’t know how to approach it with these two people. Colleague will obviously be much more difficult, but meh! Nightmare! Feel like a slag too, it was my first month having sex in four years! I also don’t want them both to be mad but guessing they will.

What grown consenting adults that could of insisted on wearing a condom instead of taking a risk even though OP was sure she couldn't get pregnant.

I doubt it

Luteal phases (the part after ovulation) are normally 11-17 days (on average 14)

If your cycle day is 40 days - you are likely to ovulate on day 23 - 30 so the likelihood of sperm living for nearly 3 weeks would be unusual.

I second this. I’m 37 weeks pregnant after having sex 6 days after my period started! My cycles are short however (25-29 days)

Completely off topic but did you end up with loose skin after losing so much weight?

Without a DNA you won’t know - but so what. That can come later - just enjoy a baby that you never thought you would have!

Helpful and judgemental

Wait... are you heavily implying that terminating a baby, is better for it, than maybe having a less-than-ideal dad?

Or do you mean OP should somehow change who their dad is??

Or do you mean, find out if the dad is a decent sort, before letting him know he's the dad, and going it alone if not?

Condoms?

Congrats, OP. It’s probably the second guy but only a dna test can tell you for sure I think. I’d be open about it with the doctor who does your first scan, they should be able to help you figure out the length of your pregnancy too. Just explain it as you’ve done here, the only thing you’ve done ‘wrong’ is having unsafe sex (but so have both men) - no need at all to be ashamed of having sex twice in one month - after 4 years! The whole situation sounds a bit complicated, but you sound pleased (I would be too!) so I’d like to wish you all the very best!

Why tell the men unless you're looking for financial help? Why cause any more upset? Are either/both of them already in a committed relationship?
Pause and think - this could get messy.
You have enough on your plate with a baby on the way.

Congratulations!

this is a tricky one as sperm can last 5 days in the body.

I used to ovulate day 9 - 12 and certainly conceived early with both my children. Who are alive and healthy —and pushing the limits with bedtimes at the moment—

second guy sounds more likely but first is not impossible

If only there was something they could have done about that!

Congratulations OP!

I appreciate it might not be the circumstances you imagined but I hope all goes well for you.

Your dating scan may make it more obvious. For me they’ve been very accurate

Congrats! You’ve had some useful info on here already so I won’t echo other posters.

One thing that I’m thinking though is when you come in to work with a belly, ONS #1 will likely have some questions! Unless he’s a majorly stereotypical man with no perception

I read it as to not tell them at all, but you never know on MN

Presumably you'll say the same thing to the OP if she ends up with an STI?

Oh sod off... leave @Expensiveplates alone and go hoik your judgy pants elsewhere.

13th June man.

Well... yeah. Having a baby with a father you know nothing about just because you want a baby is ultimately a massive risk that a child then has to deal with for the rest of their lives, we need to think these things through and not just go 'well i want a baby and it will probably figure itself out' because it so often doesn't? People will go 'well i did and its fine' but you just need to spend half an hour on the relationships board or on any parent threads to see just how not fine it can be?

I’m going with your colleague.

• Sperm Survival:
• Sperm can survive inside the female reproductive system for up to 5 days, with the most favorable conditions being around ovulation, when cervical mucus helps protect and nourish them.

• Egg Survival:
• The egg, once released from the ovary, has a much shorter lifespan, lasting only about 12-24 hours.

• Fertile Window:
• The fertile window, during which pregnancy is possible, includes the days leading up to ovulation and the day of ovulation. If sperm are present during this time, they can potentially fertilize the egg.

Your highest chance of conception would be when sperm are present in the fallopian tubes around the time of ovulation. This means after your colleague nutted in you his sperms could have been hanging out in the fallopian tube waiting for you to ovulate.

I’m fascinated to find out which sperm won.

You don’t need to wait 9 months to find out.

It is possible to determine paternity during pregnancy by analyzing fetal DNA found in the mother's blood, a process known as Non-Invasive Prenatal Paternity (NIPP) testing. This method is safe and is considered highly accurate, often exceeding 99.9%.

NIPP tests can be performed from as early as 7 weeks of gestation, but 10 weeks is often recommended for optimal testing. However, it won’t work at all if the fetal DNA is too low.

My suggestion is to test the one night stand first. If it’s not his then at least that way there won’t be rumours about you around the office.

When TTC I realised that to get pregnant I needed to have sex as soon as my period ended, waiting for the 'normal' ovulation time was too late for me. Unhelpful I know, but I really think it could be either.

“Personally I think you would be mad to keep this pregnancy, if it actually exists.”
That’s an incredibly nasty thing to say.
Why be so bitter and judgmental. 🙄

Congratulations! Wish you and the baby all the best x

Absolutely this!