Who’s more likely to be the dad? (Mortified)

[Expensiveplates]

I want to preface by saying I’m mortified. I’m 30, single and never had a scare in my life. I have severe endometriosis, PCOS and a blocked tube and was told I’d never carry a child naturally. Was even with a partner for seven years previously and used nothing- nothing happened so thought I was infertile.

Ive been single for 4 years, recently lost a lot of weight (7 stone) and was feeling really attractive. Had my period on 29th May, my periods are 35-45 days. Usually around 40

I went to a conference and slept with my colleague on the 2nd June, so 4 days after my period ended. I then also slept with someone on a first date on the 13th June.

I’ve now found out I’m pregnant (yesterday) and pretty much in shock. I don’t know when I ovulate and my cycles are so irregular I have zero idea. I’m 7 weeks ish, going from my last period but didn’t even test until yesterday as I’m used to 42 day cycles.

i think I want to keep the baby, I own my own home and have a good job but I also don’t know how to approach it with these two people. Colleague will obviously be much more difficult, but meh! Nightmare! Feel like a slag too, it was my first month having sex in four years! I also don’t want them both to be mad but guessing they will.

The dad has a right to know but more importantly the baby has the right and need to know who their father is.

Does it matter who the dad is in the long term? Are you not going to raise this kid alone?

I don't mean that harshly, I just wonder about how wise it would be to tell either of them.

If you want to do things your way, I would keep schtum.

I used to ovulate about 2-3 days after my very long periods, so I believe it equally could be the colleague.

Are you for real?

I can't get my head around a 30 year old woman having unprotected sex with two men on a first date/time. It just seems so unlikely, did you not worry about STDs at all?

Personally I think you would be mad to keep this pregnancy, if it actually exists.

A baby has the right to know who fathered them, jesus.
The father also should be given the chance to know and either step up or sod off, he will need to pay towards the child either way.

Op, its more than likely the 1st date man but you won't really know unless you have a DNA test.
But please, if you're not using any protection or allowing the man to go without a condom you need to get a sexual health check up or inform the midwife at your booking appointment because if you've caught something it could affect the fetus.

@LavenderBlue19 id rather have me as a parent than one judgemental like you.

I have PCOS too and it’s more likely to have a very long pre-ovulation window than a long luteal phase, I would imagine. So another one to say more likely the ONS as your colleague would have been far too early in your cycle.

My money would be on second man

I would be stunned if it’s the first guy. Even for someone with really short cycles that would be a very early date to conceive within their cycle,
I’m guessing you mean the first days of your period was 29th May? So you were on day 5 of your cycle when you slept with your colleague. So would have to have ovulated by day 10 for there to be any chance at all of it being him, and even then that’s a stretch and it’s the max amount of time that sperm could survive. Day 10 would be a really early ovulation, particularly for someone who usually has much longer cycles.
13th with the ONS guy is almost certainly the one. I would only let him know, not the colleague and just prepare him for there being a tiny chance it’s someone else’s. Your due date should be around 7th March.

Congrats!!

Yes. Me too.

Get yourself an early scan (you can pay for one privately if you can’t accomplish one via the NHS as each trust has different rules re: early scans) and that should give you a much better idea. Just remember that they add on two weeks for reasons I’ve forgotten but they will likely explain it to you. So if they say “Ah you’re 9 weeks” then you conceived 7 weeks ago. Bingo.

This. On scans the difference between a, say, 10 week old foetus and an 8 week old one would be quite clear.

Now, Jesus's father was pretty clearly documented to be fair!

Likely to be the one from the first date but a scan will tell you. I'm not judging in a negative way but please take responsibility for your sexual health. Unprotected sex with 2 guys could have give you any number of nasties. Even if you think they look clean and respectable you don't know who else they're shagging.

The first one is more likely I would think. Congrats op

Probably not the colleague. However in your position I would be tempted not to tell the dad if you have a support system and can afford it. Just to avoid the nightmares of coparenting. But don't do that. It's not wise (kid might want to know their heritage)

How long was your period/ what day did it start? You'd count your days to estimate your ovulation window from the start of your period. If your period was a week long, that would put the work colleague on day 11 and within the ovulation window.

Colleague is going to notice surely!!

I'd be surprised if it was the first one as it's so close to the end of your period. Definitely look at an early dating scan (they aren't too expensive) that might help put your mind at rest. Congratulations on the pregnancy and also on losing 7 stone!! 😊

Congratulations on your baby to be.

They add on the two weeks as they count from the day your last period started, even though ovulation is likely 14 days after that.

Honestly it could be either.

Sperm lives inside you for up to 5 days so you can’t just go off the date you had sex, you could fall pregnant from that sex 5 days later. The first one being 4 days after your period, 5 days after that would put you right bang in your fertile window if you ovulated typically so the sperm would have been waiting for the egg. Second man would be right at the end of a typical fertile window, so it really could be either.

Don’t be mortified a baby is a special gift. I would think it’s not the guy from work but the ONS. Congratulations and the main thing is - Is the baby wanted? Even if just by you then it’s a wanted baby so be the best mum you can. Good Luck

How Bridget jones 3! Please update and let us know the outcome when the time comes

congratulations!

DNA test dont fall for just the dates.