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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Who’s more likely to be the dad? (Mortified)

281 replies

Expensiveplates · 16/07/2025 17:57

I want to preface by saying I’m mortified. I’m 30, single and never had a scare in my life. I have severe endometriosis, PCOS and a blocked tube and was told I’d never carry a child naturally. Was even with a partner for seven years previously and used nothing- nothing happened so thought I was infertile.

Ive been single for 4 years, recently lost a lot of weight (7 stone) and was feeling really attractive. Had my period on 29th May, my periods are 35-45 days. Usually around 40

I went to a conference and slept with my colleague on the 2nd June, so 4 days after my period ended. I then also slept with someone on a first date on the 13th June.

I’ve now found out I’m pregnant (yesterday) and pretty much in shock. I don’t know when I ovulate and my cycles are so irregular I have zero idea. I’m 7 weeks ish, going from my last period but didn’t even test until yesterday as I’m used to 42 day cycles.

i think I want to keep the baby, I own my own home and have a good job but I also don’t know how to approach it with these two people. Colleague will obviously be much more difficult, but meh! Nightmare! Feel like a slag too, it was my first month having sex in four years! I also don’t want them both to be mad but guessing they will.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Justhere65 · 19/07/2025 15:30

crumblingschools · 19/07/2025 14:15

@MyHardySquid many children like to know how mum and dad met. Some drunken shag with no thought about whether they might make a good dad is not great. Have the drunken shag but use contraception (and that should be both people involved)

Exactly. No one here is saying don’t sleep with different people but why not use contraception?

bumblebubble23 · 20/07/2025 22:48

Tandora · 19/07/2025 12:20

I could see how that would be feasible. Say you DTD day 7, you could have ovulated day 10 which would be early side of normal and feasible that sperm would still be alive to fertilise a viable egg .

In OP’s case she says she dtd day 4 so I think it would be much less likely that she could have ovulated a viable egg in time for any surviving sperm , but not impossible!

She says she dtd with colleague 4 days after period ended.

Justhere65 · 21/07/2025 09:43

orwellwasright2025 · 17/07/2025 02:12

If you're not still dating number two, don't tell either of them until the due date is imminent and then explain that they are one of two candidates up front and ask them to take a DNA test.

Even if you don't want child support, it's not your money, it belongs to the baby. So you will have to ensure whoever is the father coughs up, and if you don't need or want it you put it in a savings account for the baby when they are older.

It will be a very expensive one night stand for whoever is the father. We should all talk to our sons about the importance of using contraception and not just assume the girl is using it.

PassingStranger · 21/07/2025 23:12

MyHardySquid · 19/07/2025 11:55

Honestly! Sorry she’s not got the perfect 2.4 child family with a loving mother and father and they all dance around flowers and are wonderfully perfect… get in the real world 🙄 Also what child asks how they came into being?!!!

They will want to know for sure.

Blondeshavemorefun · 22/07/2025 22:16

How did the scan go today @Expensiveplates

Italiangreyhound · 23/07/2025 22:45

Totally agree with Nimnuan

"Don't be mortified. Obviously it's not the best idea but you're hardly the first person to have inadvisable unprotected sex. Life happens, we get carried away.
You're going to be a great mum and that's what counts."

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