Who’s more likely to be the dad? (Mortified)

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I want to preface by saying I’m mortified. I’m 30, single and never had a scare in my life. I have severe endometriosis, PCOS and a blocked tube and was told I’d never carry a child naturally. Was even with a partner for seven years previously and used nothing- nothing happened so thought I was infertile.

Ive been single for 4 years, recently lost a lot of weight (7 stone) and was feeling really attractive. Had my period on 29th May, my periods are 35-45 days. Usually around 40

I went to a conference and slept with my colleague on the 2nd June, so 4 days after my period ended. I then also slept with someone on a first date on the 13th June.

I’ve now found out I’m pregnant (yesterday) and pretty much in shock. I don’t know when I ovulate and my cycles are so irregular I have zero idea. I’m 7 weeks ish, going from my last period but didn’t even test until yesterday as I’m used to 42 day cycles.

i think I want to keep the baby, I own my own home and have a good job but I also don’t know how to approach it with these two people. Colleague will obviously be much more difficult, but meh! Nightmare! Feel like a slag too, it was my first month having sex in four years! I also don’t want them both to be mad but guessing they will.

I would book yourself in for a private dating scan. It won't be as accurate as a DNA test but it will give you some indication as 11 days difference is over a week which is quite a bit difference in early pregnancy so should make things a bit clearer.

She’s got a point. Congrats and all, but you should be having a std test too. Pretty grim.

I'm not so sure. She said the first one was four days after her period ended. For me that would coincide with ovulation. Another 9 days after that would be very late to conceive. OP when did your period start?

The weight loss probably made getting pregnant possible. I have endo and pcos and lost weight before I had my first . Really at your age no matter the low chances you shouldn't risk sti/pregnancy with one night stands .
But no matter how it happened if you are happy then congratulations

Congratulations. Don't tell either and just Mamma Mia it in 20 years

I think its the first one

It's like Bridget Jones' baby!!! 😂😂😂
Seriously though, new life is always amazing!
As long as you're happy and comfortable with the fact you're likely to be going it alone, then enjoy your miracle pregnancy and who gives two hoots how your baby was conceived!
You might want to let both guys know once you're a bit more settled in your pregnancy on moral grounds ..... yikes 😬😬😬

Its confusing as you say period 29th may, and that the 2nd June is 4 days after your period ended. Unless you have 1 day periods that doesn't work.

If your period started on 29th may and slept with a guy on the 2nd of June on day 4 of your cycle then it's likely the guy from mid June. If your period started on say the 22nd may, ended on 29th may, therefore 2nd June was actually day 12 of your cycle then could be either depending on timing of ovulation. Really you just need to get a DNA test to be sure.

It's a similar story - the work colleague (Joseph) or the ONS (Jehova).

It all goes to show that there is nothing new under the sun.

So you’d be on cycle day 9ish if your period was 5 days, so there is a chance it could be your colleagues, bur higher chance the ONS. No judgement from me, yes you do need to be more careful re STI’s, but what’s done is done. Likely you’ll be raising this baby as a single mum. I agree in getting a dating scan, should be quite accurate at this gestation. Wait until that before speaking to them. Congrats!

Congratulations OP. All that really matters is that you are having your miracle baby.

I have no idea, but I had cycle lengths similar to OP and conceived during my period. GP said it was impossible.....except it wasn't!

I feel sorry for the men. I suspect neither of them will be thrilled to find out they’re the father.

Congratulations OP! What wonderful news!

You're absolutely not a "slag" either 😂 Although I'd get a STI check just to be on the safe side.

I wouldn't mention the pregnancy to either man yet - when you have a scan, they will be able to estimate the age of the baby. You can even go privately, a scan is about £100 x

You can’t tell without a DNA but more likely to be the second guy. Do you want either of them involved? You don’t have to decide to tell either of them right now you can see if it is viable and have a dating scan first

Agree dating scan urgently so they can date as accurately as possible.

Child needs to know their father unless abuse is present so you should absolutely tell him when you are ready. They should also provide for their child too.

OP wasn’t the only one not to use contraception so he’s just as responsible.

Ps just from an STI point of view though - protect yourself in future

Well, they should have wrapped their penises then! 😁

Wow. What an unhappy person you must be.

Then they should have used condoms.

I bled for three days, so 2nd June was day 4, but the day I stopped bleeding technically as it was a lightish pink but nothing else.

i know, and I’ve requested an online postal STI test. I’m not sure really what got into me. I’m guessing the ovulation could’ve been triggered by the weight loss, as I think I was insulin resistant before.

im going to book in a private scan and then go from there.

Don't go off a dating scan. If the dates are close enough to be ambiguous a dating scan won't help.

OP could go in for a scan, be told 12 weeks pregnant, doesn't realise that those dates assume you were 'pregnant' 2 weeks before you even ovulated, count back 12 weeks and hit the date she slept with colleague and assumes it's him when she should have counted back 10 weeks.

Likewise OP could correctly count back 10 week, it say conceived 11th June, awesome close to second guy. But scans can be 7 days out and sperm can live 5 days. So could be that she conceived instead on the 5th with sperm from first guy still going.

They are presumably adult men with their own autonomy so perfectly reasonable to expect them to take care of their own fertility based on their individual morality.
No need for feeling sorry, they made choices.

Yeah, the poor little sausages. Fancy the OP having sex with them, the strumpet! What were they supposed to do? Wear a condom? Say no? They were in an impossible situation!

You are not a slag, and im really pleased that you have found out that you are not infertile, thats amazing news, but please make sure you have sat down and really thought through the fact that keeping this baby will be rolling a dice for your child (and yourself) on the kind of father they will have as you dont know either of these men well enough to make an informed decision on whether they will be a good dad who won't do your child any harm. I hate to be that person as I cant imagine how it must feel to get what feels like a miracle, but you will be putting your need for a baby above doing your absolute best to give your child the best life possible - the father could be awful and have 50/50 custody of them the rest of their life. Yes, some women get pregnant by seemingly wonderful men who turn out to be terrible dads, but this isnt the same thing. Any child deserves you to have at least tried to give them a half decent dad, surely. Just really, really think through what this could mean for your baby and yourself. Best of luck to you.