anyone else pregnant with loads of kids already?? feelin bit judged ngl

[Chattymum23]

hi all not sure if i should post this but here goes

i’m 8+4 with baby no.5 (all boys 😅) n tbh i feel like everyone thinks i’m a joke. haven’t even told half the fam cos i know what they’ll say. last time i told my mum i was preg she rolled her eyes n said “again?” 😔

i know it’s not ideal but it’s happened now n i just want to be happy bout it. i love my kids loads even if life’s a bit hectic

i’m knackered n got sickness bad but still doin school runs n sortin all the meals n tantrums. nursery called again yday bout my 4yo n i just cried in the loo after

anyone else got a biggish family n feel like ppl look down on you? not after a row just want to feel a bit less alone

I'm not sure anyone's told you off?

But you can report your thread and ask to have it moved to the 'Larger Families' topic, or start another thread there if you think it'll help.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/larger_families

You’re a single mother of 4 now to be a single mother of 5. Of course people are going to judge. “Accidentally” getting pregnant when you already have four children is ridiculous. It’s not like you don’t know what causes it.

Congratulations 😀
My friends had 5 under 5! They wanted a big family and, although it was hard, they’ve grown to be a close knit family. I don’t think any of their DC will have large families though.
My ex SiL had 6 DC - she managed especially as my BiL was pretty useless in having his 3!
Enjoy your family 😀

I know a few people with big families and I don’t judge any of them, because they are all loved and well cared for. But they are also all financially stable, which I think is a big factor.

No offense, but how do you provide for 5 kids with part time job?

Why doesn’t your partner live with you given you’ve got soon-to-be-five children together?

Your life so do as you please I guess, but I think a lot of people probably do raise their eyebrow a single parents having a large family while (and I’m just guessing here based off what you’ve said) claiming a raft of benefits to fund it, housing etc.

You don’t sound like you have the means to support these children, yet are having more. Which a lot of people are judgemental about.

Can you afford 5 kids? It doesn’t sound ideal.

I’d judge you as pretty irresponsible.

Yes I'm sorry I do judge women who are so passive in their own lives that they keep having babies unplanned that they can't really afford. Why keep making more people when you don't need to? Why make your life harder, the lives of your existing kids harder and create more people for the planet to have to support? Why be a passenger in your own life?

So why say ‘I know it’s not ideal but it’s happened now’ about a contraceptive failure, as though continuing the pregnancy is the only option?

I’m not suggesting the OP terminates, only saying that she has options other than continuing an unplanned pregnancy when she already has four children, is only able to work PT in an low-paid job, and has a non-resident partner. She says she wanted a large family, but she’s already got one.

She says the children ‘have what they need’, but I’m sure my parents, who had five children they struggled to support, would say the same of our childhood, because their own upbringings were very poor. In fact we grew up grindingly poor. It wasn’t ok.

wow ok

i weren’t askin for pity just didn’t think ppl would come for me like this. feels like you lot read one bit n made up the rest 😔

i never said i was perfect or rich or had it all sussed. i said i was tryin. yeah things are messy but i get up every day n do it all again cos i love my boys.

i didn’t come on here to be told i’m selfish or thick or that my kids need luck. they’ve got love, food, clothes n a mum who gives a toss.

sorry if my grammar offends you, i talk how i talk. i didn’t realise this place was only for posh mums with husbands n perfect lives

anyway i’ll leave you to it. not worth feelin worse than i did before i posted. cheers to the ones who weren’t nasty x

Dad isnt living at home, i suspect so that it doesnt affect your benefits.

im sorry Op alot of people are going to negatively judge you. This is incredibly selfish.

If you're a single Mother to soon-to-be-five children, then you will be claiming a LOT of benefits, especially if you're a low earner such as a cleaner. Why have yet another child, that the state has to subsidise?
As a PP said, why be so passive in your own life that you're having baby after unplanned baby, and have the 'it is what it is' attitude that you're displaying. Incredibly selfish, and not very bright.

I have recently had our 6th baby, and I haven't had a single negative comment from anyone. Not that I would be bothered if I did, our children are our choice, not anyone else's. They may well question our sanity behind closed doors, but that's their problem.

I don't know you're situation, but if people are openly judging you, I'd reconsider who you socialise with.

It doesn't sound like you can afford 5 kids, but you know best.

Were you hoping for a girl?

As long as your current house has enough bedrooms and your car can fit 5 children, what is the problem ?

I have a colleague who has 4, and we were talking the other day and she does have a car big enough for 5 including car seats etc. and is already looking for a larger home and has her house on the market.

Is he the father of the other 4 ? If he is why doesn’t he live with you ?

Even if he isn’t he ought to be at least planning to be around in the same house the first few months when it’s the hardest.

You can’t be oblivious the the fact that you and the father aren’t together, you don’t have a full time job yet are about to have your fifth child.

Who pays for all of them ? I don’t think a part time cleaning job pays enough to rent/mortgage for 4 nearly 5 kids on its own.

It wouldn’t even pay my mortgage let alone pay for the kids.

You’d know this is a predominantly uk based board from the comments . @Chattymum23 it sounds like you really love and care for your children that’s already a wonderful base and something that will remain with them all their lives . My only advice is never move a man into the house who isn’t the father to all of them , that is almost always 90 percent a disaster.
Your sons will have each other all their lives and I wouldn’t dream of judging anyone for the number of children they have .

My sister is currently cooking baby number 7. We all just expect it now so it's no surprise lol

I don't judge people by how many DC they have, some people can really struggle with one and some thrive on being a parent to many. But you mention that you are not with the Dad, don't earn much and you mention nursery calling again. Why did nursery call? If it is behavioural you should be ploughing more attention into the DC you have. How old are you OP?

That was my thought too about why they don’t live together.

Lots of people on Mumsnet seem to detest anyone having more than two children even though most of them probably have more than one sibling themselves! Congratulations on your new baby, are you secretly hoping for a girl this time round? I hope you get your girl if so. If it's another boy im sure he'll be adored by his big brothers. As long as your kids are loved and cared for thats all that matters, ignore the horrible posters 🥰