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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Recently single as of last night whilst 26 weeks pregnant

189 replies

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 08/05/2025 14:58

Hi, my partner over nearly 4 and a half years split up with me yesterday night and I am currently 26 weeks pregnant. He said it hadn’t been working out for a while but every time I asked he said he was fine, loved me and wanted to get married etc. a few days before this his mother rang his sister crying and saying he didn’t look happy so he went over and they proceeded to tell him ‘do what’s best and makes you happy’ which I thought was me and the baby. This was around 8pm last night whilst I was in bed and he told me to pack a bag and leave but before I even managed to get downstairs he took my keys away and revoked access on certain apps etc. We aren’t married and he owns the house so I had no right to stay. I’m just so worried that my son due in August will be affected by my constant crying and being on edge. How could he do this to me / us and when I asked if there was another woman he said no he’s just not in love with me. He would only be staying with me for the sake of his baby. Please keep in mind I don’t have a spare room or any stuff at my mothers house so I’ll need to order a new bed, drawers etc and last night I had to sleep on the sofa. I am absolutely devastated and heartbroken that I’ll never find someone else to love and actually be married to in the future. I understand I’m only 27 years old and this baby was not planned but please if you have any advice let me know. I feel so stupid giving this man nearly 5 years of my life and he quite literally chucked me out without hesitation.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 03/02/2026 23:02

TicTac80 · 03/02/2026 22:44

You're not petty and it's ok to be angry and cross about the situation. But think on it for just a short moment and then grey rock, grey rock, grey rock, and don't think on it any more!! Is this ex the woman he went with when you were pregnant? If so, ignore and be glad you're out of the mess! (easier said than done, I know)...Let the woman/ex keep her "prize" - a guy who dumped his long term partner out of the blue one evening whilst she was 26weeks pregnant, and threw her out. What a prince amongst men. Let them hang out with his odd family (that he puts before his own partner). Leave them to it, as you have the BEST part of the deal - a beautiful baby boy.

I'd be shocked if your ex was living his best life too: he's missed out on the early part of your son's life. I know that my son's Dad has that as his biggest regret. Oh sure, he was living it up, having the time of his life with OW (compared with me on my own with my then baby DS, working my arse off to try and keep us going, whilst trying to deal with all the heartbreak of being dumped etc). But then with time, he learned what he missed out on. And I wouldn't change the life I had/have with my DC for all the money in the world.

Stick with the family and friends who love you and your DS, and support you both. If the ex is crazy, then would she be safe to have around your DS? Is the court on Friday for ex to have some access? Has he even met your DS yet? He's not on birth cert is he? Hopefully not. Don't be scared to put your foot down on what is right for your baby, particularly re: the alcohol misuse in the family etc etc. Wishing you all the best x

He’s not on the birth certificate but I told him he needs to put In the consistent work before I let him x

OP posts:
SleafordSods · 03/02/2026 23:17

What’s the Court hearing in Friday for and have you had any legal advice?

Original poster
Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 04/02/2026 19:11

SleafordSods · 03/02/2026 23:17

What’s the Court hearing in Friday for and have you had any legal advice?

Yes so there is a formal agreement in place due to his actions, lack of responsibility and boundaries to be set. Yes I have a solicitor and he has a solicitor. This is the first hearing and bother solicitors believe we can come to an agreement at the first hearing. We only communicate via a parenting app.

I just hate he’s living his life and I’ve struggled for months. In all seriousness what type of man wants a mother and a son that isn’t his. I love my son so much but pregnancy changes your body so much!

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Attenboroughsmistress · 04/02/2026 19:27

@Pregnantandlookingforadvice so many of my friends have the most wonderful step dads who fell in love with their mums and stepped up to that father role for them. Who have walked them down the aisle and travelled half way across the world to help them do up their new flats etc.

The most important thing for you to do is to find someone kind, respectful, loving and responsible, without a mean bone in their body. Someone you love but also someone who passes the high bar of being “dad” material for your little boy.

On the body front, it’s only been 6 months! I would say it took me a year before I suddenly felt like my body looked somewhat like it did pre-baby. Just give it time, nourish your body with healthy food and stay active.

McGregor33 · 06/02/2026 01:00

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 04/02/2026 19:11

Yes so there is a formal agreement in place due to his actions, lack of responsibility and boundaries to be set. Yes I have a solicitor and he has a solicitor. This is the first hearing and bother solicitors believe we can come to an agreement at the first hearing. We only communicate via a parenting app.

I just hate he’s living his life and I’ve struggled for months. In all seriousness what type of man wants a mother and a son that isn’t his. I love my son so much but pregnancy changes your body so much!

Show quote history

I have 3 children to ex husband and I met the most wonderful man. He’s brilliant with me, my kids and his own child.

There is hope for you, not every man is as vile as your ex but please, take time heal and become yourself again before you do seek a relationship xx

caringcarer · 06/02/2026 01:45

AnotherDelphinium · 08/05/2025 15:01

I’d go straight to the council and present yourself as homeless, so you get a property of your own for yourself and your child, rather than sofa surfing at your mum’s.

Ensure he isn’t on the birth certificate, and obviously don’t give baby his surname. File for CMS the day the baby is born, and ensure you’re getting any other benefits you’re entitled to.

It’s really difficult, but he no longer has any of your interests at heart, so treat him like a complete stranger.

Very good advice. I'd not let him go to scan appointments with you either. I wouldn't even tell him once his baby was born. He abandoned you and his baby so that was his choice. I wonder if he will live to regret it.

caringcarer · 06/02/2026 01:56

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 25/09/2025 00:46

Latest update that nobody asked for…

Cafcass reached out to me via email so my ex has gone via the courts for access to our son. In a way I’m glad he’s making an effort for our son and he doesn’t get to choose on his terms.

He’s also put his house up for sale - could be a fresh start or to move on with the woman he cheated on me with whilst pregnant.

I know I shouldn’t care but it’s still all very raw to me even after months. There’s no trust and I would never go back to him. I hope in the future there is a man out there that will take on me and my son (not as baggage). Pregnancy and c sections completely change a woman’s body.

Thanks everyone, I do re read the messages when I think about him but come back to reality of him being an immature selfish coward.

There are some good men out there. My DH took on me and my 2 ds's who both had ADHD and were not easy to raise at all. My youngest was 7 when I remarried. My DH knew we came as a package deal. He has been the best stepdad. Once your DS is older you will find someone else. You will pick more carefully the next time. You need someone kind and loving who puts you and your DS first and won't let you down. Focus on ds for now and when he's a bit older you can look for a new partner.

Crankyaboutfood · 06/02/2026 02:03

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 08/05/2025 15:09

Unfortunately I can’t terminate at 26 weeks and frankly the little guy is moving constantly I would never have the heart to do so.

The baby will be a light in your life. Getting rid of those loser will also be a a blessing. You might have had a crap marriage for ages. I know it is absolute garbage now, but keep moving. You are young, strong, and better than this ass. Time will heal in ways you cannot imagine.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/02/2026 17:12

Hi @Pregnantandlookingforadvice thanks for all your updates.

I'm so sorry he's got a place so near to yours and that he's still messing around with a load of women, while faking being a good father.

No wonder you feel so angry and distressed. I would, too.

Original poster
Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 07/02/2026 17:31

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 07/02/2026 17:12

Hi @Pregnantandlookingforadvice thanks for all your updates.

I'm so sorry he's got a place so near to yours and that he's still messing around with a load of women, while faking being a good father.

No wonder you feel so angry and distressed. I would, too.

The worse part is he acts like we’re friends and he’s done nothing wrong.

I can’t stand him but to hang out with his ex after being with me for 4.5 years just says it all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 07/02/2026 17:39

One thing that really annoyed me is today (even though we seen each other yesterday in court) he said I forgot it was your birthday yesterday happy birthday. He then proceeded to say I know it doesn’t mean much coming from me 😡

OP posts:
toottoot3 · 08/02/2026 00:51

Things will change, this is an awful time, remember what he's done.
He will put off arranging child support cause he doesnt know what he wants...... You do, money! to care for the child he's produced with you. That's it, take the money, immediately and consistently. Be consistent with pick ups, drop offs which are beneficial for baby. He doesn't step onto your home, you don't manage any clothes, nappies, food for baby for his time. He will either step up or away, it's on him. Raise your baby drama free

toottoot3 · 08/02/2026 01:00

I'm sorry, I didn't realise baby is here! Congratulations. Yeah turns out he didn't bother, who knew 🤷

Original poster
Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 23/02/2026 20:20

Update for those who have continued to follow.

Court went ahead on the 6th February and he withdrew his application. My solicitor said ‘he’s somewhat immature for his age’. We can accordingly agree together via the parenting app next stages of unsupervised visits etc which I can agree on. He will not go on our son’s birth certificate until consistent involvement is continued. Today I asked him what he wanted and he said ultimately 50/50 care. I don’t know why I’m so annoyed but hes acting like father of the year for a child he didn’t want / commitment he couldn’t step up for. Maybe im just feeling a bit meh and i will always do what’s best for my son.

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