Page 7 | Recently single as of last night whilst 26 weeks pregnant

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 2025-05-08T13:58:04+00:00

Hi, my partner over nearly 4 and a half years split up with me yesterday night and I am currently 26 weeks pregnant. He said it hadn’t been working out for a while but every time I asked he said he was fine, loved me and wanted to get married etc. a few days before this his mother rang his sister crying and saying he didn’t look happy so he went over and they proceeded to tell him ‘do what’s best and makes you happy’ which I thought was me and the baby. This was around 8pm last night whilst I was in bed and he told me to pack a bag and leave but before I even managed to get downstairs he took my keys away and revoked access on certain apps etc. We aren’t married and he owns the house so I had no right to stay. I’m just so worried that my son due in August will be affected by my constant crying and being on edge. How could he do this to me / us and when I asked if there was another woman he said no he’s just not in love with me. He would only be staying with me for the sake of his baby. Please keep in mind I don’t have a spare room or any stuff at my mothers house so I’ll need to order a new bed, drawers etc and last night I had to sleep on the sofa. I am absolutely devastated and heartbroken that I’ll never find someone else to love and actually be married to in the future. I understand I’m only 27 years old and this baby was not planned but please if you have any advice let me know. I feel so stupid giving this man nearly 5 years of my life and he quite literally chucked me out without hesitation.

YouBringLightIn · 25/08/2025 00:18

Congratulations- you now have the most perfect man in your life, well done you clever, brave woman.
It is a shame for your ex that he's choosing to miss out on his son's life but you can't make him and he isn't worth the energy. The best revenge is living well.
Good luck with your lovely son.

Original poster

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 25/08/2025 00:30

Thank you x

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Rattyandtoad · 25/08/2025 00:35

Congratulations! You did it. By yourself. Because you are awesome. Please don't get back with this toad of a man. You are worth so so much more and he is a moron. You can absolutely do this. (Tips - swaddle, sling, gripe water/ colief/ gaviscon. Cold water Milton tabs in a bowl on hols, ready made formula when out, cold air and walking, rockitt for pram) Sure lots of other will be along soon.

Original poster

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 25/08/2025 00:52

Rattyandtoad · 25/08/2025 00:35

Congratulations! You did it. By yourself. Because you are awesome. Please don't get back with this toad of a man. You are worth so so much more and he is a moron. You can absolutely do this. (Tips - swaddle, sling, gripe water/ colief/ gaviscon. Cold water Milton tabs in a bowl on hols, ready made formula when out, cold air and walking, rockitt for pram) Sure lots of other will be along soon.

Thanks! I would never get back with my ex, it’s not my shame to carry and he made his choice not to try let alone communicate with me. Does it make me upset? Yes but my son needs to see that I have enough self respect to know I deserve to be treated better.

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FrodoBiggins · 25/08/2025 01:03

Huge respect to you and massive congratulations. It must have been such a hard time being pregnant and dealing with all that. What a cruel man to do that to anyone, let alone a woman who loves him and is carrying his child. Prick!
But hooray!! for you and your gorgeous boy!

Original poster

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 25/08/2025 18:22

FrodoBiggins · 25/08/2025 01:03

Huge respect to you and massive congratulations. It must have been such a hard time being pregnant and dealing with all that. What a cruel man to do that to anyone, let alone a woman who loves him and is carrying his child. Prick!
But hooray!! for you and your gorgeous boy!

Thank you

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TicTac80 · 31/08/2025 11:21

@Pregnantandlookingforadvice I don't know you, but I'm so proud of you. Well done and congratulations! You're bloody brilliant. Surround yourself with people who love and care for you - that's your "village" for you and your baby. Sod the ex, he's not worth even thinking about. He can moan and whine about missing milestones, but he only has himself to blame. Be glad that you won't have to deal with him and his family's nonsense (hopefully!). Do what is right for you and your son, and to hell with anything else. You and your baby boy will go from strength to strength. x

TicTac80 · 31/08/2025 11:25

PS the shame is all on your ex, not you. He behaved in a disgusting manner.

Original poster

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 31/08/2025 11:43

TicTac80 · 31/08/2025 11:21

@Pregnantandlookingforadvice I don't know you, but I'm so proud of you. Well done and congratulations! You're bloody brilliant. Surround yourself with people who love and care for you - that's your "village" for you and your baby. Sod the ex, he's not worth even thinking about. He can moan and whine about missing milestones, but he only has himself to blame. Be glad that you won't have to deal with him and his family's nonsense (hopefully!). Do what is right for you and your son, and to hell with anything else. You and your baby boy will go from strength to strength. x

Thank you :)

I did tell my ex to go legal and he got in touch with a mediator that I declined as it’s not a formal agreement. Told him to go to court if he chooses to and then I blocked his number. He’s not helping out with our son so the half arsed meaningless check ins when he feels like it means nothing.

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RadiatorDrying · 31/08/2025 11:47

@PregnantandlookingforadviceI’ve just found your thread & read to the end. I virtually air punched as I read your recent updates!

I hope this thread stands for other women who find themselves in this position. You regularly see women abandoned by ghastly men in pregnancy & they are understandably broken. I always want to assure them that although they feel their world is over right now, they will feel better in time. That they will go on to be strong independent women & great mothers, whilst their pathetic exes remain inadequate specimens. (And often, that they will meet a new & decent man later, because when women are self-assured & have solid self-esteem they attract good men who value & respect them.)

My son is 18 today. It feels like yesterday that I was in your shoes. Enjoy your little boy, be proud of him & proud of yourself. You’re going to have a great life together. Sending you all the very best 💐

VAmum · 31/08/2025 11:50

What a heartless person he is. He don't deserve you and your little one. It’s really helpful that your mum is there and can help you out when needed. So keep going, be strong and healthy for your little one, even if unplanned, he is a blessing.

Lolapusht · 31/08/2025 12:02

Congratulations OP!

Enjoy your little one and the hate you have for your Ex will slowly fizzle to nothing over time.

Quick question, did you have any joint savings with him for house deposits etc? Just reading your thread & that was the first thing that popped into my head!

Original poster

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 31/08/2025 12:06

RadiatorDrying · 31/08/2025 11:47

@PregnantandlookingforadviceI’ve just found your thread & read to the end. I virtually air punched as I read your recent updates!

I hope this thread stands for other women who find themselves in this position. You regularly see women abandoned by ghastly men in pregnancy & they are understandably broken. I always want to assure them that although they feel their world is over right now, they will feel better in time. That they will go on to be strong independent women & great mothers, whilst their pathetic exes remain inadequate specimens. (And often, that they will meet a new & decent man later, because when women are self-assured & have solid self-esteem they attract good men who value & respect them.)

My son is 18 today. It feels like yesterday that I was in your shoes. Enjoy your little boy, be proud of him & proud of yourself. You’re going to have a great life together. Sending you all the very best 💐

Thank you, fingers crossed for a much better future.

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Original poster

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 31/08/2025 12:08

VAmum · 31/08/2025 11:50

What a heartless person he is. He don't deserve you and your little one. It’s really helpful that your mum is there and can help you out when needed. So keep going, be strong and healthy for your little one, even if unplanned, he is a blessing.

Thank you, i can’t change what he did but that’s his choice and something he will need to live with for the rest of his life. He might regret it or he might not but at least I know I tried in our relationship.

No decent man leaves a pregnant woman without a single conversation or an attempt at trying.

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Original poster

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 31/08/2025 12:10

Lolapusht · 31/08/2025 12:02

Congratulations OP!

Enjoy your little one and the hate you have for your Ex will slowly fizzle to nothing over time.

Quick question, did you have any joint savings with him for house deposits etc? Just reading your thread & that was the first thing that popped into my head!

Thank you, it’ll definitely take a long time to get over.

No joint savings or house deposit, we had everything separate as I have a Lifetime ISA and he can’t since he already had a mortgage.

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Original poster

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 25/09/2025 00:46

Latest update that nobody asked for…

Cafcass reached out to me via email so my ex has gone via the courts for access to our son. In a way I’m glad he’s making an effort for our son and he doesn’t get to choose on his terms.

He’s also put his house up for sale - could be a fresh start or to move on with the woman he cheated on me with whilst pregnant.

I know I shouldn’t care but it’s still all very raw to me even after months. There’s no trust and I would never go back to him. I hope in the future there is a man out there that will take on me and my son (not as baggage). Pregnancy and c sections completely change a woman’s body.

Thanks everyone, I do re read the messages when I think about him but come back to reality of him being an immature selfish coward.

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Redwinedaze · 25/09/2025 07:41

Keep going, I bought my daughter up alone, similar circumstances and my child graduated from Uni this year. We are both happy, own home, careers, etc, you can do this!

Lennonjingles · 25/09/2025 07:50

You sound so strong now compared to your first posts and congratulations on the birth of your little boy, keep staying strong.

Everintroverte · 25/09/2025 08:44

Hello OP read your thread and updates today. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job in some pretty tough circumstances. You are showing, daily, how strong you are and how good you can be as a parent.

How do you feel about him having access to baby? Have they spent much time together at all? I don't know how access works when the baby is still little but sure someone will have advice about the legalities, have you got a solicitor?

Please keep posting, all here for you and one of the nicest things about Mumsnet is the support available on threads like this.

Original poster

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 25/09/2025 10:18

Redwinedaze · 25/09/2025 07:41

Keep going, I bought my daughter up alone, similar circumstances and my child graduated from Uni this year. We are both happy, own home, careers, etc, you can do this!

Aww how lovely :)

Did you ever meet someone new?

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Original poster

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 25/09/2025 10:35

Everintroverte · 25/09/2025 08:44

Hello OP read your thread and updates today. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job in some pretty tough circumstances. You are showing, daily, how strong you are and how good you can be as a parent.

How do you feel about him having access to baby? Have they spent much time together at all? I don't know how access works when the baby is still little but sure someone will have advice about the legalities, have you got a solicitor?

Please keep posting, all here for you and one of the nicest things about Mumsnet is the support available on threads like this.

Thank you; it’s so hard but rewarding at the same time. My son has grown so much already.

Regarding access - my son has a right to know his dad and my ex also has the right to know his son. I just requested it be formally agreed due to his behaviour, family’s alcohol misuse and enablement. He hasn’t met our son yet and quite frankly he’s made no effort to. I asked how he would help before and after the birth but didn’t get any response. So I never pushed him away he just didn’t step up when needed. One day my ex will have to explain himself when my son asks why he has my last name etc but that’s not for me to worry. I hope he regrets what he walked away from but life goes on for me and my son.

I don’t have a solicitor as I was just going to represent myself. I am already his primary caregiver and I’ve been doing this alone ever since. All the evidence etc I can provide. One thing I don’t want is my ex wanting over night stays for the first two years of our son’s life x

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Original poster

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 25/09/2025 10:39

What sort of man (man child) does something like this. It’s in excusable behaviour…

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Original poster

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 03/02/2026 22:01

Update - can’t believe this but hey ho!

I love my son but turns out my ex had Boxing Day and his sisters birthday (end of jan6 with his ex. I know his ex and his sister are friends but she’s a crazy ex form a joint friend. I know it’s irrelevant but it’s been hard on me. His ex isn’t attractive etc hut
it bothers me and I know it shouldn’t but we have court on Friday (my birthday) and he’s seen his ex at least twice. To top things off turns out he’s bought the same house as me on the new build estate but his has a sunroom and larger garden so I am jealous. I sound petty but he’s living the best life whilst I struggle

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TicTac80 · 03/02/2026 22:44

You're not petty and it's ok to be angry and cross about the situation. But think on it for just a short moment and then grey rock, grey rock, grey rock, and don't think on it any more!! Is this ex the woman he went with when you were pregnant? If so, ignore and be glad you're out of the mess! (easier said than done, I know)...Let the woman/ex keep her "prize" - a guy who dumped his long term partner out of the blue one evening whilst she was 26weeks pregnant, and threw her out. What a prince amongst men. Let them hang out with his odd family (that he puts before his own partner). Leave them to it, as you have the BEST part of the deal - a beautiful baby boy.

I'd be shocked if your ex was living his best life too: he's missed out on the early part of your son's life. I know that my son's Dad has that as his biggest regret. Oh sure, he was living it up, having the time of his life with OW (compared with me on my own with my then baby DS, working my arse off to try and keep us going, whilst trying to deal with all the heartbreak of being dumped etc). But then with time, he learned what he missed out on. And I wouldn't change the life I had/have with my DC for all the money in the world.

Stick with the family and friends who love you and your DS, and support you both. If the ex is crazy, then would she be safe to have around your DS? Is the court on Friday for ex to have some access? Has he even met your DS yet? He's not on birth cert is he? Hopefully not. Don't be scared to put your foot down on what is right for your baby, particularly re: the alcohol misuse in the family etc etc. Wishing you all the best x

Original poster

Pregnantandlookingforadvice · 03/02/2026 23:01

TicTac80 · 03/02/2026 22:44

You're not petty and it's ok to be angry and cross about the situation. But think on it for just a short moment and then grey rock, grey rock, grey rock, and don't think on it any more!! Is this ex the woman he went with when you were pregnant? If so, ignore and be glad you're out of the mess! (easier said than done, I know)...Let the woman/ex keep her "prize" - a guy who dumped his long term partner out of the blue one evening whilst she was 26weeks pregnant, and threw her out. What a prince amongst men. Let them hang out with his odd family (that he puts before his own partner). Leave them to it, as you have the BEST part of the deal - a beautiful baby boy.

I'd be shocked if your ex was living his best life too: he's missed out on the early part of your son's life. I know that my son's Dad has that as his biggest regret. Oh sure, he was living it up, having the time of his life with OW (compared with me on my own with my then baby DS, working my arse off to try and keep us going, whilst trying to deal with all the heartbreak of being dumped etc). But then with time, he learned what he missed out on. And I wouldn't change the life I had/have with my DC for all the money in the world.

Stick with the family and friends who love you and your DS, and support you both. If the ex is crazy, then would she be safe to have around your DS? Is the court on Friday for ex to have some access? Has he even met your DS yet? He's not on birth cert is he? Hopefully not. Don't be scared to put your foot down on what is right for your baby, particularly re: the alcohol misuse in the family etc etc. Wishing you all the best x

my ex has met his son and he has agreed with Cafcass that his alcoholic parent will not look after our son. This ex he’s talking to or meeting up with I don’t know is not the same married woman he was talking to whilst I was pregnant. Then again I don’t know what he did behind my back but acts like father of the year now

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