Recently single as of last night whilst 26 weeks pregnant

[Pregnantandlookingforadvice]

Hi, my partner over nearly 4 and a half years split up with me yesterday night and I am currently 26 weeks pregnant. He said it hadn’t been working out for a while but every time I asked he said he was fine, loved me and wanted to get married etc. a few days before this his mother rang his sister crying and saying he didn’t look happy so he went over and they proceeded to tell him ‘do what’s best and makes you happy’ which I thought was me and the baby. This was around 8pm last night whilst I was in bed and he told me to pack a bag and leave but before I even managed to get downstairs he took my keys away and revoked access on certain apps etc. We aren’t married and he owns the house so I had no right to stay. I’m just so worried that my son due in August will be affected by my constant crying and being on edge. How could he do this to me / us and when I asked if there was another woman he said no he’s just not in love with me. He would only be staying with me for the sake of his baby. Please keep in mind I don’t have a spare room or any stuff at my mothers house so I’ll need to order a new bed, drawers etc and last night I had to sleep on the sofa. I am absolutely devastated and heartbroken that I’ll never find someone else to love and actually be married to in the future. I understand I’m only 27 years old and this baby was not planned but please if you have any advice let me know. I feel so stupid giving this man nearly 5 years of my life and he quite literally chucked me out without hesitation.

Crying is a release of stress OP. Cry as much as you need to, it won't hurt the baby. Trying to keep it inside would be far more harmful.

Sure, but your knowledge of the options is just straight up wrong. Abortion is not an option after 24 weeks in the UK and earlier in many other places. By 26 weeks most women have a considerable baby bump and have been feeling movement for 4-8 weeks. The baby probably weighs 800g or so at this point. Even if it was legal, a termination at this stage would be absolutely nothing like a termination in the 1st trimester.
Almost no women in the UK willingly give their babies up for adoption. It’s not impossible, but it’s not really an option many consider. The first thing social services would do in most cases would be to contact the father of the baby, then wider family members, to ask if they would take on parental responsibility for the baby. OP couldn’t unilaterally decide to give her baby to a nice couple and pretend there was no family connection, even if that were an option she wanted to consider.
Where on earth do you live that allows abortions at 26 weeks and adoption without the consent of both parents?

Seriously though you’re not even bothering reading through her post properly though. Sure, abortion is a possibility but at 26 weeks?! Also, I’m not sure you should be telling something vulnerable and distressed categorically ‘that their life would be better’ if they aborted. You can’t possibly know that.

Hope so, I’ve read crying too much really does affect them. I’m absolutely mortified how I’ve got to this point in my life and this far along in my pregnancy to be kicked out like I’m nothing. I’m sorry for the moaning everyone but I really just need other peoples opinions

When’s your next midwife appointment OP? If you tell them what’s going on, they might be able to refer you to any useful services in your area.

I have the gestational diabetes test on Wednesday and the following Tuesday my next midwife scan. I’m embarrassed to tell anyone what’s going on because I feel so shit

Appointment* not scan

Haven’t heard from him at all today but he’s removed me from the Amazon prime plan as I’ve just received an email. It’s like he has no care in the world

You have done nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of.

Take your time to regain your balance. Focus on your wellbeing. Let your mum spoil you for a while. You have plenty of time in the coming months to plan your future with your little one. For now, get some rest.

Without marriage the man is still liable for child maintenance

@TheWisePlumDuck I can't see how OP's situation would be any better if she was having to divorce this awful man as well.

I’m so sorry your baby’s dad is low-life scum op. I can’t believe how low some people’s behaviour can get. Jeezo. However, you have your mum, thank goodness, and you and your baby will get through this. Do not take this vile man’s word for anything - claim CMS as soon as you can. You can do this.

Op Unfortunately your not the only person who has found themselves in this predicament, you are not alone, your partner is an immature child and obviously as with most males like him he his mother and sister seem to be enablers.
It will be hard but you will be fine, going forward make plans for you and your child's future, do not depend on him for anything as you will only be disappointed.
As someone said get the the council and register as homeless, they should signpost you to places who can help you with anything baby related and any help or grants you may be able to get once you find somewhere to live, if not your doctor will.
Don't worry about the future when you're ready to settle down again there will be plenty of men happy to be a part of your lives, stepfathers are everywhere lol.

Sorry but doesn't work like that. She will be put in a B&B or hostel.. there is on average a waiting list of six years.

I would be requesting he gives you a lump sum to buy furniture and baby stuff, I’m sure you have contributed to the house you lived in. If he’s a decent human being he might give you at least £2-3k to start you off

Because she would be entitled to 50% of his house for a start.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you - really glad you have got your mum. Might be worth checking on free cycling sites for furniture. Good luck

It’s devastating and heartbreaking

you will be absolutely fine, you have the support and your baby is one of the best loves you will ever experience.

he did you a favour leaving now before he is involved with the baby

Get some legal advice. Try Citizen's Advice.

Oh go away. You are just being goady now.

He sounds an absolute pig. Get angry. Don’t contact him. Don’t tell him anything else about the pregnancy or the birth. His loss and his parent’s loss. In time you will be grateful that you got away from this knob.

The worse thing is I still love him and he clearly does not love me. I’m still trying to get my head around everything but I know I can’t reach out to him or give him any sort of satisfaction that I’m needy

She's 26 weeks 😱

Oh and just to mention he couldn’t wait to go out this weekend drinking with his friend which makes me so angry!

All of this is so irrelevant now. As much as it upsets you, it's no longer your concern. Your focus should be on you and your baby now. Get the ball rolling on getting your own place via the council.

Sorry that he's treated you this way. Some people are such scum.