Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

Actually yes, now that there is movement every day I do feel quite a lot less anxious.

A few weeks ago I would feel something that was definitely movement but only every few days, which was really nerve wracking. But now that it's definitely daily it's much better!

@InvisibleDragon it's wonderful the quickening 🙏🏻☺️

@InvisibleDragon ahhh congratulations so pleased it was good news for you too!

@MaudePie whens your next scan? I definitely feel miles better after mine today so the reassurance is finally kicking in xx

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 hopefully it’s quick now they have it, maybe even by Friday if you’re lucky

@InvisibleDragon aw that's amazing, i'm so happy for you! I can't wait to get to that stage - fingers crossed!

@Xwx1010 so glad you're feeling better too. We've got this - hopefully not much longer before we all settle a bit and are able to start enjoying our pregnancies a bit! 💕

This heat is kicking off my sickness again and i cant cope...

Sickness and being too hot and pregnant just doesnt mix. I feel terrible🤢

I thought i was over the sickness... nope🤢🤢

If you are struggling to stay hydrated do reach out for medical advice @LER2023 I got into a mess in this type of weather when expecting my daughter but it was 2020 so I was trying to avoid drs and hospitals.

I think I'm experiencing some movement too @InvisibleDragon I'm 18 weeks so just waiting for them to get more regular and obvious!

Hello - wondering if I can join the group! I just about sneak with an EDD of 28th. I’ll be 10 weeks tomorrow but still very very cautious. I had 1 missed miscarriage in 2020 (that then started bleeding spontaneously at 8ish weeks but a scan showed nothing had grown passed 5), then an anembryonic also 2020 that was discovered in a private scan but after rescans, then EPAC needing to do their own scan I had a D&C at about 10weeks, then had my daughter in 2021. I had another loss last year - we had seen a heartbeat at 7ish weeks but I was measuring about a week behind and at the 10weeks private scan I booked it had sadly not grown and there was no heartbeat anymore. Fast forward to now - I had a scan last week (EPAC very kindly gave me a couple of reassurance scans) and I’m measuring as I should and we saw a heartbeat. I am however, still very nervous about it all! Will be getting a NIPT test in a couple of weeks as I’m 41 and just want the reassurance really!

I’m going to try and go back and read what I can from the group, but it is comforting to be able to talk to others that know how anxious this time can be x

Welcome @Bellabubble great news that all was well at your recent scan. It’s difficult to relax and enjoy the pregnancy once you have experienced loss, it’s only natural to be feeling anxious. Having somewhere to write it down and speak to other who understand helps massively. Wishing you luck with your pregnancy! Do you have your 12 week scan booked? Xx

@LER2023 Hope you're ok! I vommed more than ever last night 😫I'm not sure if it was the heat or the fact I ate my toddler's leftovers when I really didn't need to 🐷 haha but it was awful and I haven't been sick for weeks! xx

@Superscientist how exciting that you can feel movement! 💕

@Bellabubble Hi and welcome! So sorry for what you've had to go through to get to this point but congrats on your positive scan 💕

You'll see from this thread that we're all in the same boat when it comes to not being able to relax - there's always something to worry about and any reassurance seems to be so fleeting, especially after a MMC because it completely shatters any trust you had that you knew what was going on 💔

I hope you're doing ok and that we can help you feel a little better in some small way xxx

Its definitely the heat!! Dont knocm yourself down for eating the rest of uour toddlers food! No food goes to waste🤣

Ive just found out my colleague has a chest infection, viral infection and pleurisy. She came into work on wednesday but my OH has the same symptoms🫠
I got a little emotional this morning, i am not coping with heat very well and ive been given a mamoth task to get on with at work with no energy!😪

Roll on a 3 day weekend! How you feeling today?

@LER2023 oh bless you, it's all a bit overwhelming isn't it :( Do work know you're pregnant yet? You're well within your rights to tell them you need adjustments etc if it feels too much.

There was a heatwave the year I had my DS and I spent the last few weeks just sat in a bath of cold water eating sandwiches 😂Good times. The water would keep warming up and i'd keep topping it up with more cold.

Physically ok, just tired. Mentally my head is in absolute bits waiting for these results. I wish I could just forget or compartmentalise but I'm rubbish at that so it's affecting my work at the moment and making my days really drag :( xx

My manager does and some of the girls, theyve all been absolutely fantastic and had someone come to help me out with the tasks. Which is nice! I thought i was in trouble with one of the managers yesterday as she sat me down and went i need to talk to you.. then went 'hows it going with baby?!' Im like jheeze good! I have my 12 week scan next week and she was shocked at how quick its all gone!

Its horrible isnt it when you just feel so mentally drained from everything!
Have you still not had your results back?! This is taking a while considering you was told you'd get them today!!

Fingers crossed for you!💐❤️

Aw I'm glad they're being so supportive, that's lovely 💕

Nope, no results 😞 officially the company says up to five working days from when the sample arrived at the lab. Which would be by next Wednesday 😩 I wish the woman at the clinic hadn't told me things have been going faster and she'd expect me to hear something by today. If she hadn't said that I'd have been able to ignore it a bit knowing I won't hear till next week instead of constantly refreshing my emails! Xx

Happy bank hol all, hope everyone is feeling ok.

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 hope you’re hanging in there waiting on the results.

@LER2023 what day is your scan on this week? I’ll be thinking of you.

what’s everyone’s Est DD btw, I’m trying to keep track of everyone but between this and the ivf group my heads mashed 😂

I’m ofically 11th Nov but lat scan measured me a few days ahead for the 8th.
next scan is 20weeks 23rd June and already have no idea how I’m going last until then!!

@xwx1010 hi lovely!

My EDD is 21st November based off my early scan but that might change at my dating scan a week today.

The weekend has been a good distraction doing fun things with my DS but now that it's Monday my head is back to stressing. Got a play date to keep us busy later though.

I also realised that I might not hear back till Thursday because of the BH because its five working days after they receive the sample 😩

How are you doing? I'd definitely be booking in a private scan to get me through to 20 weeks haha xx

Its Friday this week and im shitting myself now its getting closer!
Although im feeling the stretching sensation and still feeling shabby, im sure everything will be ok (well im hoping) but im still scared about it.

My EDD is looking 16th November, but no doubt will change on friday!

@Xwx1010 I’m 28th Nov - currently in a bit of a weird time lol. Had a scan that showed heartbeat, acceptable size for dates etc at 8wk 6days, and have booked a NIPT for this weekend. I’m a bit anxious, but also very much “you can’t change the outcome - what will happen will happen” but I just get real dread as the scans approach. Hopefully once I get through this they can start to get easier 🤞🏻I felt my daughter move quite early on considering she was my first so I’m hoping it will be similar this time x

Early scan my due date was12th but my dating scan also has me at the 8th. My 20 week scan is also booked for 23rd may. I have a scan next weds and it feels so long away. I lost both babies between 13-14 weeks so I’m very emotional this week. My husband wants to go for a private scan but I know if I’d be able to handle going, I really wanted to avoid having any due to past experiences.
apologise for being such a downer!!

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 hope your results come earlier!!
@LER2023 best of luck for Friday!

Hope every one is going well!! Xx

Had a few cramps today. Ive hit 12+1 but theyre not that bad, its like constipation cramps😬

Doesnt help that im trying to do the whole house while hes out at golf with his cousins!

So ive come to sit for 5😁

My colleague who i work with asked me how everything was going, said i could feel some sort of stretching feeling like down at the bottom of my stomach and shes told me i shouldnt feel that just yet... so now im shitting myself even more than i was before🙃 looooollll why do i give my brain the chance to feel some sense of security with this baby, im scared that im going to get to the scan on friday and be told i'l be around 9 weeks and babys stopped growing and doesnt have a heartbeat.

My brain goes between yes this is fantastic and all is going great and then goes to but this could be wrong.

Im still feeling sickness.. my nipples are less sore now but is that because ive hit a certain week. God this is horrible.

@LER2023 I’ve been having loads of stretching pains and cramps so please take that with a pinch of salt… I would have said that’s really normal especially when between 10-12 weeks the growth is really quite rapid.

@Pumpkinspice13 Our scans both on the 23rd, how long away they seem!!

Totally get your anxieties after last losses, big hand hold. My partner seems to think now we’re past 12 weeks it’s nailed on and he can’t understand my anxiety still. I have a new gp appointment soon so I may see if they can ask hospital for another scan first before booking private. I really don’t want to go to a private place if I can help it - just really mistrustful of them with all the stories I’ve heard.

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 fingers crossed your results come asap, what an inconvenience the back holiday is sometimes!

@Bellabubble good luck for your nipt

@Xwx1010 thank you! Ordinarily I wouldn’t do it - but as I’m 41 now I wanted to know earlier if there was one of the two that don’t go to full term and my NHS won’t be until 14weeks. Luckily my husband has a health scheme at work that can cover the cost!

@LER2023 i have definitely been having twinges and I even had cramping at around 5 weeks! I’d say the ones now at 10 weeks are more like a twinge, or as if someone is pulling/plucking at ligaments from the inside. Often sickness can start to ease off after about 10weeks too - mine is still hanging around but it did until abiut 17weeks with my first. Luckily I was never actually sick though x

I did speak to tommies about getting in for a scan this week but they discharge at 12 weeks and it changes over to early prevention clinic who I see next week. I had a really bad experience with one where they made baby “wave” at us as his hand was up, he had no heart beat. I could see the look of horror on the ladies face when she realised what she had done. We also had loads of messages and emails from the company after with offers for other scans etc. it was awful!!
The company I used last time was brilliant and even called to check on me but as it was the second loss I’d had and it was also discovered at a private clinic, I’m so scared of going for one now.
How are your symptoms now? Mine have pretty much gone but I’m still exhausted, I’ve never felt like this before. Wonder if it could be the progesterone xx

Hiya, thanks everyone. I'll keep you posted!

@ler2023 I'm sort of the opposite in that I feel like I should be feeling stretching etc but don't think I've felt any for a few weeks. So naturally I worry it's because baby has stopped growing.

@pumpkinspice13 your scan experience sounds utterly horrific, I'm so sorry you went through that 💔 😢

I'm generally back into worrying mode again now that my scan and results are getting so close. I'm bracing myself for the 'sorry baby hasn't grown' news all over again. I don't really have any symptoms any more other than being exhausted so feeling pretty flat 😞 xx