Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

So glad I stumbled across this thread! Currently 10+3 after a loss last November, heartbeat had stopped around 6 weeks but I didn’t start bleeding till 9+4. Past that point this time and thought I’d feel relieved but I’m convinced something is going to go wrong, if not now then at some point. We have a 2.5 year old too. I’m convinced if everything is ok with the baby then something will be wrong with me. I’m constantly checking my boobs for lumps, my left one in particular which I have done over the years when anxious. It’s sore when I press it or my little boy leans on it. I don’t remember having breast pain in either of my other pregnancies so not sure if it’s normal or not. I also daren’t feel excited in case I jinx it. I haven’t had a private scan, NHS one is next Friday. Does anyone else feel like this?

I havent been on here for a while🙃
Been tryint to keep myself busy so i dont tbink about the fact thay ive had 3 miscarriages and this pregnancy is scaring me to death.

Still taking progesterone as normal, not had any bleeding which is fabulous!
We started having sex again, but only taking it easy at once a week so we dont do very much and put too much pressure on!🤣 in my last 3 we were going at it like normal and i miscarried everytime. So taking it relatively steady.

10 weeks and 2 days today. Seems to have flown since i found out at LMP 3 weeks and 4 days😅 of course having a scan showed 7 week and 3 days along with a heartbeat. But now im scared even more!

I keep getting twinges, like cramps, but they ease off relatively quick so im putting them down to maybe stretching?
My boobs are sore but my nausea eent around 8 weeks and im still extremely tired and starving. Its like ive not been fed for 24 hours🙃 but im wanting all bad things!! Yesterday i told my OH that baby wanted a chinese🤣 so we had chinese!
We've started the other bedroom as a base for baby (it needs plastering and i didnt want to wait until further down the line to have it done because of the wait time for a plasterer!) We're booked in for the next few weeks to have it plastered but we need to stip it all back and majority of the plaster has come off and its gone back to bare brick... so im a little bit peeved about that.

Im scared rhat progesterone may be masking a miscarriage as i just have the thought in my head that ive already miscarried. We've agreed to not having any private scans as every time we've had its been bad news.

Also can we chat about 'pregnancy colds'? Thats what im calling it anyway. im SO snotty and SO sneezy its ridiculous!🙃

@Jade3110 hi and welcome to the thread.

Absolutely understand how you're feeling, as I imagine do all the other ladies on here 💕

I'm a ball of anxiety at the moment, but like you, when I let myself believe we might actually get a baby from this pregnancy, my worry turns to 'what if something happens to me and I'm not here for my DS because I was so desperate to give him a sibling?'

Thanks for bringing this aspect of the anxiety up, it's not been mentioned yet but I totally relate.

Breast pain is definitely normal in pregnancy and seems to come and go. A lot of women prod their boobs to make sure they're still hurting as they find it a reassuring symptom... me included haha.

I hope you're OK and I'm glad you found us. We're here to support each other through all the ups and downs xxx

Hi lovely! Nice to hear from you 💕

Firstly, congratulations on having any sex at all! I've felt so rubbish we've done nothing since finding out 😅

Glad the time has flown by for you, that's great stuff! Maybe the sex helps? haha. The days are dragging for me.

Aw that's lovely that you've started sorting the baby's room, we need to replaster ours too, I think we'll start thinking about that next month. Your baby has classier needs than mine, last night my OH went out to get my a pot noodle because it's all I wanted in the world - was the best thing I've tasted in ages 😂

I have the progesterone fears too my love but as long as everything else seems ok try to stay positive. The cramps and twinges sound normal to me, I've had those too and it feels like things stretching and rejigging ready for the baby to grow.

You're so strong not having any private scans! I think I'll end up having them every couple of weeks to keep checking things are ok!

Pregnancy colds... I've been a bit snotty mainly in the mornings - and come to think of it I have been sneezing a lot but I hadn't linked that to being preggo! xxx

I do keep trying to talk him into a private scan and maybe the NITP tests but £400 for a blood test is putting me off... i only want to know whether we're having a boy or a girl haha!

I'll admit though, its killing me because i just want to know that everything is ok! I have my 12 week scan on the 9th so fingers crossed everything is good and we have grown and still have a heartbeat! Im starting to look a bit rounder.. probably all the bad food, but im also enjoying fruit! I can eat a full box of blueberries in around 10 minutes when instart and i never liked blueberries before!!

This rejigging business needs to stop then because its scaring me🤨🤣

Honestly a pot noodle sounds so good🤔
I havent really had any cravings as such! All i know is i cant drink coffee or tea, i cant touch a milkshake either which was one of my cravings in my other pregnancies!

I keep getting a blocked nose, sneezing, like a bad cold🤨 im putting it down to pregnancy because i was absolutely fine previously🤣 its come on in the last few weeks, so im just putting it down to pregnsncy nose🙃

We just knew we needed to do it earlier considering what we had to deal with when we plastered the living room, kitchen and toilet last year😬 when you take off the wallpaper from the ceiling and my OH manages to put 2 holes in the ceiling... god we knew something had to be wrong in that bedroom🤣 and yep... its hot pink underneath 2 layers of thick wallpaper😭 and taking off the 'curtain pole' it was a piece of wood stuck to the wall.. i dont even know what with but must have been there for around 10 years! We want all new curtain poles🤣 yes wish we kept it on! Its ripped all the old plaster off and its gone down to brick.. which is fine.. i guess.. it just means more work needs to be done to the walls🤨 we've been in this house 2 years and absolutely hate it until we actually have the room done and we love it again🤣

We went 'pram looking shopping' on Friday. Mainly to see what price we may be looking at for a good pram instead of looking online and hating it when its here, we decided to look in person at some prams, hold the handle see how we feel about it eg. The height, sturdyness ect.
We've found 2.. but then my partner decided to look at more baby stuff and i thought he was going to cry when we got back to the car hes like 'god i cant wait to have a baby im so excited' had to surprise him a second time by telling him hes actually going to be a dad🤣🤣🤣

We were under the impression that the baby was going to be so expensive.. yet what we've found are relatively cheap!!
Managing to find a 3 piece furniture (cot, wardrobe & drawers) for £500! Moses basket at £70.. we thought we would be absolutely broke and realistically with what we have in savings for baby, after the plastering is done we will still be able to afford absolutely everything!!

@LER2023 wow, you sound like you're in a pretty positive place despite the worries! I can't even imagine looking at anything baby-related just yet. I think I'm scared of letting myself believe it's happening in case it doesn't, which is sad.

I'm glad you're managing to find enjoyment in your pregnancy, it's really lovely❤

Morning all, hope everyone is doing ok?

I've just had my viability scan after needing to wait following my confirmation of not ectopic scan 3 weeks ago (they would have done after 2 weeks but I was away on holiday). And now feeling a bit braver about this pregnancy following a MMC, and early miscarriage and ectopic in little over a year.

Still can't quite believe it but it's given me courage enough to register with midwife etc. think I will want to book a private scan in too but not sure when etc. all still a bit of a blur now.

@MedbN Hi there! Aw that's lovely, how far along are you? Glad you're feeling more confident about it all 💕

By LMP should be 8+5 but measurements were 7+5/6 not overly worried about it as the measurements match up with ovulation date and my cycles were still all over the place from my ectopic

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 same, I haven’t looked at anything. I really need some clothes though I think but for now they’re still in my saved 😂

@Xwx1010 haha same! I added some stuff to my asos basket the other night thinking that'll be a slightly more affordable approach and it came to nearly £400! So definitely wimping out again until I have absolutely no other choice! I've got a bag of maternity clothes I bought during my pregnancy that ended in a MMC, but it's all winter stuff. Think that's definitely made me put off buying anything until I feel more confident everything will be ok xx

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 big T-shirts and stretchy pants for me for the next few weeks at least!

Same for me, I daren’t buy anything yet but my trousers are getting tighter! I’ve got a lot of stuff from my first pregnancy but I won’t let my husband get it out the loft yet so maybe after the scan if everything is ok. I didn’t buy much new in my first pregnancy though, I got loads off Vinted as I begrudge buying things I’m not going to get much wear of!

@Jade3110 I love Vinted. My only issue is not being able to return things, and when my body is rapidly changing shape in all kinds of directions I need to try things out to work out what works! Maybe I can order on ASOS, work out what suites me, return it and find it on Vinted 😅

Thinking of you today@CloudsInMyCoffee09 I hope all is well at the scan!
All of my symptoms have pretty much gone now, I just have to hope that it’s the pregnancy progressing.
I am still having the weirdest dreams every night, also full of cold which I hadn’t put down to pregnancy.
we are not doing private scans due to past bad experiences but If we make it to the 3rd trimester I’d love a 4d scan.
Hope everyone is doing well!

@Pumpkinspice13 aw thanks so much. I've been so unproductive at work today, my head is mush.

I've got everything crossed for you too. Hopefully I'll be able to report back later than my loss of symptoms was nothing to worry about. I feel more nauseous the closer the scan gets but think that's nerves rather than hormones! xx

Morning! My scan went well 💓Still measuring a week ahead of my LMP date, heartbeat was strong and baby has started wriggling! Needless to say I was an absolute wreck again!

Got my booking in appointment tomorrow, then it hopefully won't be long until my 12 week scan - so far so good and one milestone at a time. This is already further than my last two pregnancies got so feeling hopeful but terrified.

How is everyone doing? xx

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 wonderful news! So pleased for you!! Hope you are enjoying your little bit of reassurance now!

my 12w scan is 13w and 2 weeks away, really impatient! I’m having the NIPT private tonight through. I don’t want weeks of limbo with the nhs and they’re already a week behind on all my appointments. I’ve got a consultant appt week 17 (should be 16) too.

@Xwx1010 Thank you! It's not sunk in yet but hopefully will last me long enough to get through my booking in appointment!

The waits feel soooo long don't they, being a week behind with appointments sounds really frustrating bless you.

Good luck with the NIPT, do you know when you'll get the results from that? Are you going to read the gender results? xxx

I think they come to my email in a few days. Really begrudge going private but I’d like to eliminate some worry from the process sooner rather than later if I can. And it would be nice to be able to breathe a little after the 12w scan if all ok.
were not finding out sex no, we honestly don’t care either way and we’d like to look forward to the surprise at the end of such a rollercoaster process! X

@Xwx1010 yes I think as long as you can afford it, anything that might take some worry away is worth it for you and for baby. Does a NIPT basically rule out any genetic issues that could have caused a MC? So once you have the results you could be more confident that things are going to go well? xx

Congrats on your amazing scan!
So nice to hear that you have had a good scan and saw what you wanted to see!!

As far as i was aware the NIPT was to check for trisomy? I think its called the patau, edwards and downs.. i could be wrong🤔

The NIPT is a blood test that looks at chromosomal abnormalities present in certain conditions. Not a general genetics test no, it won’t speak to any previous pregnancies/losses.

My nipt tests will give me results on the following:
downs, edwards and Patau syndrome as well as, Sex chromosome aneuploidies, XXX triple X syndrome, XXY Klinefelter syndrome and XYY Jacobs syndrome. ( NHS only do downs, Edward’s and patau).

The NHS initial testing results at 12w look at your fluid behind baby’s neck, hcg and papp-a and it’s an estimate of risk.

If the risk is high in any condition they will offer the nipt which gives a more accurate results (not definite mind) - ie 1 in 50 chance. Put simply they don’t offer the NIPT initially as it’s expensive.

lots of people have been worried sick for weeks by the initial NHS estimate and then gone on to have the nipt which has been more reassuring, but again had to wait a few weeks for the results

I’m wanting to avoid the 2/3/4 weeks of limbo and potential worry by just doing the nipt straight away.

@LER2023 trisomy is just another name for the conditions, ie T21 etc. the conditions you mention are caused my chromosome abnormalities. So it’s a chromosome abnormality test.

Thanks lovely! I got myself so worked up expecting the worst, it was awful. You'd think I'd avoid scans rather than wanting to put myself through hell all the time haha. xxx

Wow thanks for taking the time to explain! You've got me sold on it now, any going to have a look for places near me! xx