Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

Oh I'm so glad it went well 💕 hate how fleeting this reassurance is though! We're here to virtually hand hold every step of the way xx

@Xwx1010 good luck today lovely. Thinking of you and sending lots of positive energy your way! xx

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 thank you xxx

cant quite believe it again but baby is ok, measuring on track with heartbeat but I do have a big subchorionic hematoma adjacent to the sac. It’s solidifying apparently so that will explain the brown bleeding this weekend and the big red one a few weeks bag.
Even though it’s big they didn’t seem worried as sac is bigger and it’s not above the sac or causing any pressure. It should make its way out or reabsorb but having consultant lead care not midwife.
baby was waving and wriggling away.
Just so relieved I have a reason for the bleeding now so I can try to rationalise.
burst into tears in there and ready to go again 🥺
Thank you for checking in xx

Oh this gave me goosebumps! I'm so happy for you! 💓

How far along are you measuring now? When is your next scan?

So glad you're being looked after well, and knowing what's causing the bleeding, while not ideal, must be such a huge weight off! Try and enjoy a lovely day today for as long as the reassurance lasts before you naturally start fretting again😊what are we like! xx

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 i know, this merry go round of worrying is hellish isn’t it?

I’m 10+1, which is exactly right and next scan is 6 may (13 weeks but going to try and move it to 12) especially as the bleed will need monitoring. Also I can’t wait 3 weeks 😂

I can definitely breathe now knowing there’s an explanation so feeling much more calm -
thank god.

hope everyone else is doing ok?

Just had an egg for the first time in over a month so that must be a big sign my nausea is settiling as the thought of them were making me retch a few weeks back 😂

@Xwx1010 thats amazing news, I’m so pleased for you!! Must be such a relief!
Hopefully you can get your dating scan moved forward so you don’t have such a long wait between scans.

@Xwx1010 it's awful isn't it, the worry-go-round.

Haha I couldn't wait three weeks either, the wait for my first scan was torturous so I don't think I'm willing to wait more than two weeks at a time now! And then I have to pack the two weeks with loads of plans to distract myself... which i then curse myself for because i'm too tired haha.

Congrats on the egg eating! I've not really had any food aversions yet this time, I'm feeling nauseous a lot but haven't thrown up for a few days - and I just have to keep eating beige all day at the moment. Hopefully this is the start of the glowy second trimester for you and all the yacky bit is coming to an end. xx

So pleased to hear about the positive scans! Great news.

i had my NIPT results through yesterday and everything was clear, which is a huge relief (my loss last year was due to trisomy 13 and it’s really been weighing on me that the same thing could happen again). However, I’m now back to worrying again today that something else will cause a loss, and wondering if I can squeeze in a scan ahead of my 12-week scan next Friday…

@MaudePie So happy to hear about your NIPT results! It's one hurdle after another isn't it! That must be a huge relief though that at least you know the same thing isn't going to go wrong this time.

When was your last scan? I always figure a private scan doesn't hurt if it makes you feel better even for a little bit. So long as we don't get fully obsessed and want one every day - let's face it, we would if we could 😅xx

@MaudePie ah that’s such good news and I’m so sorry about your loss last year.

im thinking about getting the nipt done private soon as i can’t be bothered with a high result and then waiting in limbo with the nhs while they organise the further testing and results. If my 12 week scan is 13w I’ll be pushing 16w when I know for sure. Rather just get it all sorted now privately.
I think my age (38) will naturally push up risk of Down syndrome anyway so prepared for that.

has anyone else had their booking appointment yet? Mine was pretty rubbish, just answered an outrageous amount of qs for their records, got no advice on supplements/food to avoid/didn’t get asked about symptoms or sickness. She didn’t even explain nipt just the other test which carries a risk of MC - I had to bring up nipt!

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 @Pumpkinspice13 how long till your next scan now ladies? How are the symptoms treating you x

Ive got 3 appointments in the same week😅
2 on the 7th which one is for my glucose test (which i didnt think id have until 25 weeks? I'll only be 12 week and 3 days!)
Then the same day i have the reccurent miscarriage clinic and then 9th i have my 12 week scan!!

My colleagues off this week dealing with her catarac eye surgery too!🫠

Its going to be a long week for seeing professionals🤣

Also to add, my nipples have been very sore, and ive had heart burn but my sickness has subsided like all of it!!
Ive been tired still, but im scared now that something has gone wrong and this is the longest we've been pregnant!!

@LER2023 my nausea and sore boobs subsided loads this week and I started to worry, but all was fine - I think the placenta starts to take over from around week 9/10 and the hcg levels off instead of doubling so it’s very normal xx

@MaudePie fab news that you have your not results, must be a huge relief.

I had my booking appointment a few weeks ago. It’s such a pain going through all your history every time. I don't understand why they can’t pull it up from last time and adjust as needed.

My next scan is on the 29th for the dating scan. I also have one booked for 14 weeks.
My symptoms have reduced a lot the last few days, I was sleeping a lot and had a lot of nausea but I’m starting to feel better. Breast pain has pretty much gone also. I’m very hungry but lose my appetite quickly when eating, I can’t wait to enjoy a meal again.

@Pumpkinspice13 mine the week after on the 6th! Totally same with symptoms -
makes me feel much better when people seem to be experiencing very similar 🙂

Thanks everyone!

I had my booking in appointment exactly two weeks ago - it was both tedious having to go through the same stuff again (why can’t they just pull up the records from a few months ago!) and quite upsetting as the last time I was there was for the scan to be told my baby had died.

My symptoms have also calmed a bit in the last couple of days, although I am still completely exhausted.

I also feel a bit wobbly as the NIPT confirmed that I’m having a boy - all I care about is a healthy baby that I can take home, but it feels like I’m getting further away from the baby I lost last year, which was a girl (which I know is irrational, and if this baby was a girl I’d probably feel. sad and guilty that I’m “replacing” the baby I lost). Basically everything at the moment brings up so many emotions that I wasn’t expecting and I have so much guilt and sadness about it all!

I'm 37 and my risk has increased a little but still low. When I had my daughter in 2020 my risk I think was around 1 in 20000 and this time it's 1 in 5000.

Oh really, that’s good to know, hmmm I’ll have a little think on it, I really do hate private places 😂

@Xwx1010 I was really tempted by the private Nipt test but there seems to be so many places online and so many different options I had no idea what to choose.

@MaudePie amazes me that they can tell you babies gender so early. You honestly have nothing to feel guilty for but I get it. Those feeling can be so overwhelming.

Morning, sorry I was out of action last night - I was so shattered I pretty much went straight to bed after work!

I'm 38 too so also have all that worry on top of getting from scan to scan. I'm trying not to think about it until it's time for the tests or I'll actually lose my mind. Are the private NIPTs quite pricey?

My booking appointment is on the 24th April, I've booked a scan for two days before so I feel more reassured that the baby is ok when I'm sat answering all the questions. With my MMC in November the heartbeat had already stopped by the time I had my appointment, we just didn't know yet, so can't bear the thought of that happening all over again.

Also does everyone use the Badger app for midwife notes now? I don't know if it's just a regional thing but the due date is still that of the baby I lost and it's a right kick in the teeth every time I see it :(

My private scan is on Tuesday and will hopefully get the appointment for my 12 week scan on Thursday at my booking in appointment. I'm not waiting more than two weeks between scans though so I think there'll be a fair few private ones in my future if things go well xx

Oh any symptoms, I haven't been sick for a few days - and my nausea seems to be calming down. My boobs are sore and really heavy (and big!) and i'm absolutely exhausted. I'm hoping sickness is calming because I'm almost 9 weeks now so HCG will be setlling? xx

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 my trust uses badger notes - I deleted it after my loss and had to redownload in my booking-in appointment, and the app thought I was still pregnant with the last pregnancy. The midwife had to talk me through several steps to move away from that one and start a new pregnancy, which was quite upsetting.

@MaudePie oh it's horrible isn't it. Just another way the system isn't yet geared up to be as sensitive to this stuff as it should be. I hope all the old info can be removed so I don't see it every time but also feel weirdly guilty saying that like I shouldn't want to get rid of it.

I have two LED tealight candles in what will hopefully be the baby's room, that I keep on all the time and replace when the batteries run out. One for each baby we've lost and I try to keep the door open so we're not shutting off the room like it's something sad and bad. Basically doing everything I can to tell the universe how much we want this. Which makes me sound loopy.

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 not loopy at all! I know exactly what you mean.

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 i tried to move my 12 week scan to end of April but they have nothing because of the bank holiday so mine is when I’m 13w now which is realllllyyyyyy annoying especially given EPAU wanted an update on the SCH. Clearly people don’t need scanning at Easter time!?!?

that’s really sweet about the led candles not loopy at all!

the pregnancy app sounds triggering, why can’t they sort it their end!!!
mine is all in a paper file which is actually a joke in this day and age 😂

there’s a place near me that does nipt advance blood test for 300. I just think it will be easier than waiting until I’m like 15 weeks with all the delays/retesting. Other part of me is also like, don’t get too far ahead just wait incase anything goes wrong.
x