Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

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@Xwx1010 aw I actually miss my yellow folder I had when I was pregnant with my DS - felt like I was back at college carrying it everywhere haha.

Yeh I understand you not wanting to wait but also not wanting to get ahead of yourself... yet another way we're constantly pulled in two directions!

Do whatever will make you feel better in the moment, I'm still very much saying 'if' all the time and won't let myself plan too far ahead because i 'might be' pregnant, or 'might have' a newborn etc. I think the best way for us to stay sane through this is to focus on the now until we're ready to look to the future 💕

when I was pregnant both times in 2023 it was an app/website, I didn’t like it, was very hard to use and it didn’t remove details of previous pregnancy until I had to make a new booking.

This time it’s on a hospital website. You can see booking info and I get sent appointment letters to the website.
It was much easier when it was paper notes, all appointments were written in and any important information was in there.

I was the same, both babies due in November. But I knew it was my last pregnancy so I determined to enjoy it by assuming all would be well so joined the usual groups. If the worst happens, it's no better knowing that you didn't manage to enjoy any of it.

Hope everyone is doing OK and enjoying the long weekend!

I caught a glimpse of myself yesterday and realised how much weight I've already put on 😕 I know it's bloating and the fact I've had to constantly eat beige food for the last few weeks due to nausea, but my clothes don't fit, I think I might have to go shopping for a size up or something because I'm not ready to take the plunge into buying maternity clothes when I don't know how long I'll need them for yet.

Anyone else ballooned? 🙈 xx

I’m so bloated, I’ve already had to purchase new jeans and tops. The shops are all full of cropped tops/tshirts which was so stressful, I ended up buying some of the maternity ones from H&M.

How have you been coping? Xx

Hi everyone! I'm further along than you are 34 + 3 weeks. But I am still just as terrified at every scan, test etc. I'm 37 as well so all my results came back low risk but it's always on your mind. I did pay for a lot of private scans and a 4d scan. Just because after having chemicals, first, second losses multiple times you lose faith in your body and your mind goes fuckking insane! I wish I could say I enjoyed this pregnancy but it really robs the joy. I'm still frightened and paranoid about kicks and movements! My med regime was baby aspirin 150mg, progesterone unweaned off at 18 weeks or i call them ass pills, blood thinners for APS. I have extra scans as bicornuate uterus makes pre term labour a possibility but that's seems to have been avoided. My epu unit should give our frequent flyer miles as I was in there so often. Hope it all goes well for you all! I'm counting down the seconds.

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 @Pumpkinspice13 Im similarly looking enormous at the moment - my stomach muscles went awol at 9 weeks and I now have a proper bump at 11 weeks (I know it can’t be the baby!). I have some maternity leggings from last year that I’ve started wearing, along with loose dresses. I’m finding the physical evidence of pregnancy quite hard - I don’t want to talk about it yet, but I feel like it’s so obvious as I’m usually a size 8 (although I’m sure no one else is thinking about it a fraction as much as I am!).

Gosh it's mad isn't it 😅 I feel like I look six months pregnant! I had to do that trick with a hair bobble on the button of my jeans today 🙈

My boobs are gigantic too, so I feel like I'm struggling to hide it and I'm only 9 weeks. I'm hoping if/when I get to 12 weeks I'll feel comfortable enough to start exercising again and the sickness will have eased off so I don't have to survive on beige!

My anxiety weirdly seems to have subsided a bit this week, like the positive scan and my symptoms made me a bit more optimistic. Even though I know symptoms mean nothing and things could change at any second. Then I tell myself off for daring to be hopeful coz it'll floor me again if it's bad news at my next scan. I've been having mild cramps and twinges the last week or so which I know could be something bad but I'm choosing to believe it's because things are growing and heading in the right direction 🤞

Does anyone else have scans or anything this coming week? Xx

@SnakebitesandSambucas congratulations on your pregnancy. Wishing you lots of luck with the rest of your pregnancy and birth! I’m not surprised you are still so nervous after going through so much.

@MaudePie I need to invest in some new leggings, all mine are tight high waisted ones. My wardrobe was not prepared for pregnancy at all.

Anyone been prescribed the dispersible aspirin? Can I just swallow them? I don’t fancy mixing them with water.

I have no appointments for this week. My next one is 29th.
@CloudsInMyCoffee09 How are you feeling about your scan and booking appointment this week?

It Does sound like your body is growing and stretching, it’s so easy to think the worst though. It’s almost easier to allow yourself to think of the worst possibilities than the best because it allows us to protect ourselves incase the worst outcome does happen.

@Pumpkinspice13 I just got the normal ones you swallow. Or you can pop them in juice or a fizzy drink.

@pumpkinspice13 I googled it and it says you can just take them whole with water buy definitely check what the pack says or ring your GP or midwife to double check! I'd have thought they'd fizz up in your belly or something 😅

Sounds like we're all going shopping then, should I hire a mini bus? 😂

Aw thanks for asking, I'm actually feeling OK so far. I've got a super busy bank Holiday to keep me distracted which is good but I know I'll be obsessing at work on Tuesday before my scan in the evening, and will be a wreck when appointment time comes etc. I'm not really thinking about the booking in appointment till I get the next scan hurdle out the way.

I've been really nauseous and exhausted on a night the last couple of weeks but I feel ok tonight... so naturally a bit stressy about that. We literally can't win.

How are you feeling?

My 12-week scan is this Friday - I’m really hoping that after that I feel a bit more relaxed!

@Pumpkinspice13 same! Most of my clothes have elasticated waists but even those don’t work at the moment!

I had some bloat in the first trimester which resolved at about 12 weeks, then at 14.5 weeks my bump appeared overnight! I'm 17 weeks tomorrow and now very obviously pregnant but it's quite high so I'm still fitting into my regular jeans, downside is the heartburn that's already started. I have a couple of tops and maternity dresses that I never stopped wearing so I'm wearing them more- if you go for fit under the bust and flare dresses you can get away with wearing them after pregnancy too! I have pulled out my breastfeeding bras though as I've gone up a back size.
My sisters are coming over tomorrow and I need to somehow hide it as I haven't told my parents yet. They are away and I'll tell them when they are back.
I've got my 20 week scan on the 12th may and we aren't telling our daughter until after that so we've not really told many people as we don't want them slipping up and mentioning it in front of her. She has already said that it looks like there's a baby in my tummy and questions daily why my tummy has gotten bigger. I'm not sure how much longer I can get away with "I ate a big dinner!" Oh the brutal honesty of 4 year olds!

I’ve been drinking a glass of water and then swallowing them and hoping for the best. I’ll have to pick some up when I go shopping next and I can use these ones once I’ve spoken to midwife.

Good to hear you have been feeling ok! l’ve been feeling a lot more normal the last few days, which has had me worrying so I’ve been trying to keep myself busy, I decided to clear out all the clothes that don’t fit me and store them, now I can actually find the few things I have that fit. Didn’t think I’d be up until this time doing it though, I got a bit too carried away.

let us know how the scan goes, will be thinking of you on Tuesday ❤️

I’m hoping to hold out until after 20 weeks without telling anyone. Currently only my husband and my friend know. We waited until 12 weeks before and found out at 15 weeks they were gone. Hoping I may get away with a little longer without telling the kids but with the weather getting warmer I may struggle to hide the bump for long.

@pumpkinspice13 I'm sorry you've been feeling anxious about symptoms, how are you feeling now?

Hope everyone had a good weekend and those who were facing trying to hide the news from family got by ok!

My positivity has completely faded away now that I'm so close to my next scan. I have felt nauseous but haven't actually been sick in about a week. Today I don't feel nauseous and my boobs don't hurt as much as they have been so I'm trying to prepare myself for bad news again 💔😞

I've let myself start thinking we might actually have a baby from all or this and now my mind has gone back into protective mode even though nothing can protect me if it is bad news. Really hope you're all OK, could just really use a chat with people who understand xx

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 I get your trepidation. I've barely felt pregnant at all this time around. I had July and November off sick in my previous pregnancy with vomiting and fatigue so it was unnerving but I'm now 17 weeks! In the last 2 weeks I've started with heartburn and have a more obvious bump which is comforting.
Hopefully all is well at the scan but try not to do too much second guessing of symptoms. How far along are you now?

Thanks @superscientist. I'm 8+4 by my LMP and 9+3 by my early nhs scan. So I feel like my symptoms are fading as they should be peaking. I'm trying not to overthink things because I know symptoms fluctuate and this is what I'd say to anyone else who is worrying. It's just hard to take your own advice isn't it x

I had my symptoms suddenly decline this pregnancy & 11 weeks and booked a private scan. I was just waiting for the bad news. But for once it wasn't. Complete sobbing snotty mess though 🤧. Poor sonographer!! I can't say it gets easier. But I understand exactly x

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 it is indeed!

Oh bless you. It's such a shock isn't it when you've got it in your head it's bad news then it's not. A good shock but still a shock!

I think if I was a little further along it'd be easier to try to rationalise that symptoms do ease off after ten weeks or so, it's the fact I'm right at the point they're meant to be at their worst that's got me totally freaked out.

Thanks for listening to my waffle xx

It's not a waffle. Perfectly valid. It's good to get it down sometimes.

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 my sickness was at its worst at 6 weeks! I’ve had a few rough days since but I’ve definitely had days where I’ve felt completely fine. Honestly please don’t stress too much over symptoms (I know easier said than done) - mine have definitely been lessening over the past few weeks and my scans were all good. Usually hcg levels off and placenta starts to take over from about week 9/10.
ive got another 2 weeks until my next scan. How about you? Xx

Thanks lovely. My scan is a private one tomorrow at 7pm. So work is going to be a struggle! Xx

Best of luck and big hand hold for tomorrow - let us know how you get on. Xx