Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

Hope all goes well at your appointments @Jade3110, let us know how you get on. I’m absolutely shattered, had to have a blood test last week as I was exhausted and feeling really breathless. I now have some stronger iron tablets from the doctor but come down with a rotten cold so still sleeping my days away. I have a growth scan in 2 weeks and a consultant appointment to get my section date.

Congratulations @InvisibleDragon hope you are enjoying your time with your baby.

Have you managed to get home and settled @Superscientist? Hope newborn life is treating you well.

Im a little behind in terms of dates with the rest of you ladies, I am 28wks on Saturday feels a milestone to hit the 3rd trimester.

How is everyone getting on? I’m definitely feeling pregnant alongside looking it now. My 28wk appointment is next Thurs so interested to see how my bump is tracking.. I don’t think it’s tiny or huge so reckon I’ll just bob along in the middle somewhere. I need to get booked for the RSV jab also. Did anyone have side effects with it? We have been cracking on with the nursery which is a surreal feeling if I’m honest. And our final break as a two is booked for 2 weeks time, nothing fancy just some time at the coast with the dogs to relax, get some fresh air, hopefully get a few steps in and enjoy the last time it’ll ever be just us two on a weekend away for a good few years.

I had my midwife appointment yesterday, new midwife never met her before and oh wow she was bluntly honest about the midwives in the hospital. She was telling me how they will try and control the situation and it shouldnt be them in control its me whos giving birth and i should be allowed to do it however i want and not be forced into anything i dont want to do.
She said she reccommends me having a water birth with my PGP being so bad.
She said if they say theres not a chance of that happening then i need to ask them to put me in a room with a bath so i can have the water to lift my bump and then request to be sent to the room for a birthing pool. I have to demand these things she says as they just think your a first time mum and you will just be the yes man for them as id know no different and want to listen to the professionals.

I like how blunt she was about it to be fair! Was one of the best appointments ive had that wasnt just your urine is fine and your blood pressures fine. Any questions🤣

Baby is head down still which is causing some pain and pressure downstairs.

My mum likes to remind me that she was still in her size 10 jeans at 8 months pregnant and that im big considering she was tiny when pregnant🤣

28 weeks is such a milestone!!! I was literally sobbing when i got to 28 weeks because its just such a huge milestone to get to when you've had a previous loss!!

I feel like every week we get through is a huge milestone! Im proud of us all!!!

Ive had moments with a girl at work where i just want to rub my middle finger in her face because shes just pissing me off more and more every time i see her. I almost did it earlier. My hands were ready to do the middle finger walk away sort of thing.. but had to refrain considering i work in a childrens hospital😅
I just feel like some women are so rude when theres no need to be..

Our next to me crib has been delivered today along with my bag for the hospital.
So i'll be setting both of those up in the next week and getting everything ready for when we go!

I just need to buy some little bits, shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, mouth wash! I wanted the travel ones😅
So i'll have to look online and see how much its going to cost to get them!

The fact that im getting ready for labour feels really weird. It only felt like 2 minutes ago that i was finding out i was pregnant and now times going so quick!!!!

31 weeks now and im suffering. Baby feels like he has to have a party with a baseball bat at 2oclock in the morning. Thats great! You know the hitting of the bladder like a piñata... thats fun.. NOT!

Hows everyone else getting on?

Edit to add: i havent had any side affects from my jabs, i had RSV and flu at the same time, one in each arm. I had a bit of an achey arm but thats about it! I've felt fine!😁

Growth scan for me today, it all seemed fine but the consultant said as baby has dropped slightly from 64th to 46th centile, and with my history of having a SGA baby previously they want to do another in 2 weeks. Fingers crossed they behave and don’t drop any further! She did say she wasn’t worried but just being cautious. I’m hoping for a home birth so really hope they don’t drop any further!

@LER2023 really recommend The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill if you haven’t already read it for tips on how to advocate for yourself in labour! I read it with my first and am currently re-reading it!
Im 32 weeks now but have done hardly any sorting 🫣 we got the baby bits back from a friend who borrowed them for her baby last year but they’re just sat looking at me in the lounge! My husband is sorting out the spare room so we can make that a base for baby but they won’t need a room for at least 6 months so we’re just making do for now. For your mini toiletries you can usually get them in supermarkets or Boots, they’re normally on offer like 3 for 2 etc!

I keep waking up for 2 hours around 3am, so that’s fun… At my yoga class yesterday one of the ladies said she was the same and she’d got up and gone to McDonald’s! I was tempted to do the same last night!

@KT199 i have had the RSV jab and didn’t have any side affects, someone told me it really hurt their arm but I didn’t feel anything even in the next few days! Will probably have the flu one soon as they’re giving them out at work from 1st October so just before I go on mat leave!

@KT199 we made it home on day 2. We've had a few feeding issues at home as he had a tongue tie but as it was identified at birth we were able to get it cut on Tuesday. He's doing really well with only 6% weight loss at day 5 and he's gained half of it back already at day 10.

My energy has started to come back and I'm not needing as many naps. I've got repeat bloods next week and again at 6 weeks and hopefully they should return to normal by then

@KT199 good luck with your midwife appointment. 28 weeks has always felt like a milestone to me. My dad was born at 28 weeks so it's been the turning point for me that is when I have felt the tide has turned and there was a good chance there would be a baby at the end!

I had the whooping cough and RSV at the same time and I had a sore injection site on one of them for after but it was fine by the time I went to bed

@LER2023 I'm glad you had a good midwife appointment, I had a water birth with my daughter and it was great. It's definitely makes a difference when you have a good feel for the midwives and they have a measure of you. The midwife I had during the induction quickly recognised I was quiet and not one to complain so when I did say things were getting too much it was. When I had my daughter I had to really push to go back in. The first midwife wasn't happy as I'd not long been home but the second said there was room for in the midwife led unit even if I wasn't 4cm yet... It's a good job she did as I was 10cm and ready to push! I'd get it put in your birth plan that it's for pgp.

@Jade3110 I'm glad that there's not much change but good that they are being cautious.
We didn't end up doing the sorting until he arrived. The night after he was born my partner had to go in the loft for the crib! We are slowly sorting out the nursery. Sorting it out ahead of time is a much better idea! I think we were just in a bit of denial it was actually happening

@Superscientist I think that’s the issue with us, still can’t quite believe it’s real! Hope you are doing ok x

Think for me i wanted to get it sorted for it to feel more real😅

We've had a chat this morning and agreed that this baby may be our first and last because of how difficult its been for me with PGP.
The sleepless nights are hitting hard, naps arent cutting it anymore and im losing my patience very quickly with everything! But i think im just ready for him to be here. The final stretch and god its difficult. I said to him i dont understand how people go on to have 4/5/6 babies let alone 2! Because its just painful and awkward, sleeping on my back is getting harder to do even propped up!! Ive started getting pain in my bump when i lay on my back so i have to reluctantly turn back onto my side! Grimmicing at every move! I feel like something needs to give me strength to not call the dr and ask for a doctors note up until my annual leave😅
Me and my colleague are on the count down to my annual leave and her holiday. 4 weeks today and im done and they wont be seeing me for over a year!! Im definitely ready for it now!

Glad to hear you home, settled and starting to feel better in yourself too @Superscientist. Enjoy soaking up all your maternity leave with your baby.

@LER2023 its good to have a midwife who can give you some direction on advocating for yourself. Obviously write everything in your birth plan but also make sure your husband is fully aware of your wants and make sure he is confident enough to advocate for you as it may be more difficult to do it for yourself when your dealing with the pain of labour.

The PGP sounds like it’s giving you a really though time. Sorry there’s not much that can be done and your suffering but absolutely use a sick note if you need to, there’s no shame in that and you should be able to be as comfortable as you can be given the situation.

@Jade3110 it’s good they’re keeping a close eye on you. It must be worrying though the thought of a home birth not being an option if things change, so I sympathise with that as it’s a difficult mental battle. Hopefully it can still go as planned.

@LER2023 it’s not recommended to sleep on your back. Sleeping on your less painful side with a pillow behind your legs is better for you and baby. If you can tie a sheet onto your bed to help you when you need to pull yourself up or over. I feel your pain, I’ve been in agony for the last few weeks.

Well when i spoke to my midwife, she said as long as your not flat on your back and your at an angle you can lay on your back.

Both my hips are bad, theres not one comfortable side, there used to be when i first started with PGP. My right side was the comfiest with no pain, then its just gradually moved to both sides as the pregnsncy has gone on, now if i sleep sat up i get bump pain😅

I cant win at the minute, pgp is kicking my arse!

Ive found im just sitting up in the night having a bit of a breather to help with my hip pain and then turning to whatever side doesnt hurt, but it could be both sides that hurt so i have to sit up in bed, shuffle back and sleep sat up😅

I may as well be sat on my sofa and asleep🤣

I hope everyone is doing ok!
I finish work on friday as i can now no longer walk very far! Baby is getting heavier and im getting more tired!

Ive started craving ice too! So it might be a case of getting my bloods done to check for anemia!

Or atleast buying some iron tablets😬

My hospital bag is almost packed and im feeling more and more pressure in the bottom of my bump/bum

How is everyone getting on?

That's great you are finishing work, sounds like you can do with the rest and relaxation before baby comes!

my iron levels came back low on my last bloods so I've been taking iron tabs. Still feeling exhausted though!

well done @LER2023 on sorting hospital bag as well. I've not even got a suitable bag at home really - ordered a baby change bag from Vinted and I'm going to use that. When it eventually arrives!

33 weeks on Wednesday, feels like I have ages left but time seems to be passing really quick now!!

hope everyone is well

I'm sorry you are having to stop work a bit earlier than planned @LER2023 but hopefully it gives you chance to rest and keep strength for last weeks of pregnancy and post birth. It's probably worth getting some bloods done ask for them to check your b12 and iron stores and well as levels.

On the hospital bag front I found it more useful to have several bags for different things. I packed myself a hospital bag from 32 weeks when I was diagnosed with ICP. This came in very useful with my admissions as I had everything at hand but didn't have to wade through baby and post birth stuff to find what I needed. Make sure you have any regular medications and vitamins in there as they might not have ready access to them on the ward especially if you are admitted late at night. I had another with snacks in

I had a separate bag with baby things which I packed at 36 weeks although we picked up the smaller baby clothes on our drive to the hospital for me induced!

We predominantly have usb plug sockets at home and the first time I went in I realised that I had only packed charging cables and not the plugs!

Sorry you are feeling exhausted too @Jennie1985 33 weeks starts to feel really close doesn't it!

I managed to find a little suitcase and bag on amazon for around £52!

https://amzn.eu/d/6O0uIP6

Ive got babys things in the suitcase and ive started mine, i went to morrisons this morning and bought some bits for my bag eg. Breast pads, some sanitary pads, got some travel bits and i'll add my toothbrush and paste and what not when i know i start my contractions.
I did a small primark shop yesterday for loose bits and underwear. Mainly nighties😅

33 weeks is possibly the most tiring weeks ive had!😅
Im only 33+1 and i feel like i could sleep, i had 2 naps yesterday. 2 bloody naps!!
Work have been absolutely sound about me finishing Friday, i just cant keep up with it anymore, im constantly exhausted. I dont even think i was a person on Thursday😅

I'll remember to take a plug thats for sure!

Snacks is a wicked idea, might have to take my OH's bag for snacks🤣 i need to pack him some clothes too, i just said a fresh change of clothes wont hurt him, because hes adament he doesnt need anything!

I just need some socks putting in my bag. Maybe a couple of sports bras for the pool! Im so ready for him to be born now!

I hope you and baby are getting on well @Superscientist

I packed my partner a pair of boxers, socks and a clean t shirt. As well as a toothbrush and flannel. So he could freshen up if needed.

Take a bag for dirty clothes we forgot that.

Wine gums were my favourites with both labours. Cereal bars and crisps for labour ward. Fruit cordial was good too. Easy meals for your partner and you depending on the state of the hospital food. Meals at the hospital were generally pretty good as long as you stayed away from pasta (always overcooked and stodgy) salads, baked potatoes and sandwiches. I didn't get fed when in triage. I learnt the lesson of taking food in with me when I went in at 4pm and didn't have any food until I was being admitted at midnight and that was a ropey chicken sandwich.

Nothing wrong with 2 naps a day if that's what you need! I still need 2 naps a day some days!

We are mostly ok. His feeding is better since his tongue tie was cut. He's had a bit of a cold this weekend so he's been grizzly and only sleeping if held so I ended up cosleeping with him last night otherwise I would have had very little sleep. It's his due date today so that feels a bit weird! My partner goes back to work tomorrow so that will be my first day of managing both children including the school run!.

I would definitely get bloods done asap - mine came back low, and a miscommunication at my GP meant I went over a week without the iron tablets, I had been taking them for 10days when my midwife next did my bloods and they weren’t back up to the level they were when they first told me that were low. My symptoms have been not so much exhaustion but more the racing heart and shortness of breath.

Currently 31 and a bit weeks - bubs head is already in my pelvis so I find sitting gets uncomfortable after a while (but if I stand too long whilst teaching my low iron and low blood pressure conspire against me lol) Luckily I’m not full time though so hopefully if the iron levels come up it will get a bit easier again!

I need to refresh what to put into a bag first me - I was quite quick last time so only used my shower stuff and freah clothes - never ate my sweet treats 😂

A water bottle with a straw was a must for me - I didn’t want to be tipping my head back to drink when I was in the zone!

I don't know if this is a universal thing but if the midwives took my blood the results got sent to triage and they got reviewed by the midwives or obstetricians. They were usually pretty quick at getting back to me and I think the turn around time was quicker than through gp for the blood results. They had my iron levels back within 24h when done by the midwife.

Sorry you are struggling with low iron and low blood pressure @Bellabubble . Have you had a recent risk assessment? If standing for long times is making you unwell there should be a risk assessment to determine how to mitigate that risk.

Birth with my daughter was pretty quick too, she was born within an hour of getting to the hospital. I think I ate more of the wine gums after she arrived and through the first evening. I got to the ward after they had done dinner and the after birth toast didn't fill me for very long!

Since my doctors were absolutely useless ive spoken to triage who said it just sounds like a pregnancy thing and that i just need to have routine bloods done with the community midwife next week!

They tell you to eat before you go to the hospital to keeo your energy up... who thinks right im in labour and contracting lets make a meal🤣🤣

@LER2023 when I was in labour with my daughter I wanted to have lunch before going in but my partner persuaded me to go before and it was a good job I did as I had realised I was getting the urge to push at home!

I would try to have something substantial regularly during early labour as once it escalates you may have little interest in food.

Also always have a drink before going to triage as they always ask you for a urine test even if they only did it 2h earlier. They got an absolute dribble out of me one visit whilst I was in labour with my daughter.

Also, tmi but, try to keep your bowels moving in late pregnancy as a full bowel can make labour more uncomfortable.

Well i was a little constipated, and i kept feeling like i needed to go, but couldnt go properly (sorry TMI!) but now it seems to be better and if i need to go, i can happily go!

Im having more gooey discharge which i think may be a little bit of my mucus plug coming away.
Im waiting on the bloody show now😅

Baby had hiccups for around 5 minutes and i felt it in my bum😬🤣
Felt like i had a weird bum twitch🤣🤣🤣

@LER2023 that's how I was most of the third trimester. Annoyingly in a constipated phase when induced and with my daughter I got a bit obsessive about needing to poo when having my daughter luckily my partner remembered from the antenatal class that it was a sign that baby is nearly there an persuaded me to go in.

That's funny! How many weeks are you now? Are you finding being at home easier?

Im 33+2 today, so not too long to go really!
Im thinking he may be a halloween baby😅
My final day is friday and work are throwing me a baby shower bless them!
Its so much more comfortable at home! I can get to things easily like the toilet😅
I work in a hospital and toilets arent always accessible as im using outpatient toilets🙃
I can get a drink when i need one its just easier. Im looking forward to having more time at home!

@Superscientist - that’s a good shout! I’m in an older year group this year (my heart is with the little-ees, but going in Mat so soon after they start isn’t best for them bless them!) so I can sit down a bitmore thank goodness - but I might have to ask to be taken off break duties. I hate doing that as most teachers hate losing the 15mins they het ti mark and orep for next lesson, but it’s definitely more taxing on my body at the moment, especially as it is standing! I haven’t had itchy skin but last night the palms ofmy hands and soles of my feet were driving me insane - it woke me about 4 times! I’ll monitor it over the next few days and trxt my midwife if it continues. Did your itching carry on during the day?

@LER2023 omg I remember that feeling - my first had hiccups daily and she dropped at about 33 weeks (everyone would say “gosh your low, not long to go now!”) but she still mept me waiting until 11days after her “due date” 😂 she has been on her own time agenda ever since too haha! My appointment last week the midwife was feeling to see where she was (for the heartbeat) and said - can I feel your pelvis and then said “yup - there’s the head” My reaction was “not already” 😂 as the weeks went by with my first I had to kind of cycle round between sitting leaning back on the sofa, standing, and being on my birthing ball as no position was comfortable for very long!

@Bellabubble My itching was from about 7pm until lunch time. I would give your midwife a call incase they want to get you in for blood tests sooner rather than later. Itching on your hands and feet especially at night and if there is no rash is a marker for icp which can be serious in its severe form and they might want to keep a closer eye on you.

Definitely ask to be dropped from the break duty. I'm sure they would rather you reduce duties and be able to keep working rather than doing too much and finding you have to go off sick at short notice.

I've had my icp bloods repeated last week and my bile acids are now normal although my uric acid is now raised. This doesn't seem to be connected with ICP but I was also showing signs of developing HELLP when I was induced and I've read that uric acid can be elevated with that.

@LER2023 sorry got my Fridays mixed up and thought it had already past, baby brain. Not long to go. Its lovely that they are throwing you a baby shower.

@Superscientist I hope baby is feeling better now and a bit more settled.

I have been booked in for a C-section but won’t get a date until my pre op appointment. At my appointment today I have some protein in my urine but my blood pressure is low, had bloods done and have to wait and hope everything is ok.
Hope you are all doing well ladies, these last weeks are hard work on the body.