Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

Haha yes! Mat leave twinnies!
Im due on the 15th of November.
I work in a childrens hospital, and my colleague pointed out to my manager that i can spot a new born in a crowd of adults with no problem since i got later in pregnancy! I just keep saying yes because when i hear their little cry, it makes my ovaries explode🤣🤣
@KT199 ive survived mt first night with a grumpy OH and shouty dogs even though these dogs have no chill with their farts🤣 making me feel pretty sick! im feeling pretty good i do have to be firm and tell them that they cant lay on me anymore. So now the french bulldog has got face on with me and has laid in his bed rather than the other sofa🤣

People started saying it when i hit 24 weeks 'omg you've popped are you sure theres not 2 in there, how are you feeling, you're all up front you wouldnt think you was pregnant from the back' i tend to just ignore it now🤣
Im 28 weeks and people are like you are definitely not going to full term! You'll have him in like 6 weeks, you're absolutely massive and carrying low.
So its all changed now but i hear it on a daily basis😅 i only get relief from people at the weekend.
But ive now started waddling because of my hips and back and how big i am! Its hilarious🤣

Heres a current scene with the french bulldog..

@Jade3110 I hope your little one has a good birthday. It nice your mum was able to come to the scan too. Scans have come along way and also I think they only got super early scans back in the day.

I hope the blood tests come back with something simple.

It feels good to know there's an end in sight. It just the weekly tests and waiting for the results the next day to see if levels have shot up and I need to be induced sooner that's messes with my head

The tiredness got worse yesterday to the point I was barely awake from 2pm so now I'm on the maternity ward for monitoring. The ctg is still showing regular contractions from the irritable uterus so I had to have another swap for imminent labour.

@KT199 the first time someone commented on my bump was 19 weeks but only when I went from being face on to being in profile. Strangers felt confident commenting around 25-28 weeks.

I also got lots of "oh you look further along than that" yet my bump measured on the 10th percentile. I think bump sizes only come in non existent and massive when it comes to general conversation

@KT199 i can’t remember when anyone commented on the size of my bump! It feels like a while ago though. The midwife said if it is a vitamin B12 deficiency then it’ll either be an injection or they monitor and see if it goes into normal range after pregnancy. I did look at the numbers on badger notes yesterday and it looks only slightly out so hopefully not too bad. Might explain the tiredness though, although my husband then said I was having “pseudo symptoms” since I’d had the call, which I’m sure you can imagine pissed me right off!

@LER2023 ah I’m due 11th, although my initial date was 14th! So super close.

@Superscientist he had a lovely day thank you, although the tantrums don’t stop just because it’s their birthday do they! How are you doing on the maternity ward? Hope you’re ok x

@Jade3110 no they don't know that birthday's are tantrum free days! If anything I think the pressure of the day can make them worse and you wonder why you bother!

It's going slowly, I've mostly been sleeping. They have been struggling to locate my consultant so I'm not further forward than I was last night. As soon as I do anything or sit up I go dizzy and spaced out. Overnight and first thing they seemed to be more focused on my wellbeing and mental health as the cause so whilst the dizziness is horrible it's got them of that track at least. The MH midwife has been in to see me and agrees my mood given the circumstances is pretty good.

@Superscientist yes agree on the pressure to make it a special day probably makes it worse!

Hope you get some answers soon and don’t have to stay in too long!

Thanks @Jade3110 the consultant finally saw me at half 5 before she left and has arranged some more tests as there's something in my bloods I have had recently that possibly flags blood clots but no one last night picked up.

How’s it going? Hope you are doing ok!! Xx

I have now been discharged, not much further forward. I have blood thinners and awaiting some more tests to check for clots.

Hi everyone - I have just caught up! Somehow I got logged out and then just didn’t get any emails for any posts!

@LER2023 I’m having the same mat leave/ nursery hours conundrum lol! I don’t know what the head will deem as “required” by the school - if it’s only one day again that will really suck! But I wanted to take the year - but that means my free hours won’t kick in until the Jan term, so now I’m just trying to figure out whether I go back in September. I did that with my daughter too - but luckily my Mum had her 1 day a week in the end and that didn’t seem as scary as her going to nursery before 12mths old felt to me (I overthink things a lot lol!) I also carried low and dropped early with my first, around 32weeks - but she was 11days over the due date in the end! The current bump is still quite high which I find less comfortable. Not sure why - maybe it’s all the squished organs lol!

I’m 28weeks on Weds - think baby has had a growth spurt as I spent ages not putting on weight, and now am above the “predicted” weight gain for this week - but I imagine I’ll plateau again like all the other times. I haven’t got much of an appetite so try really hard to find food that I know will keep me fuller for longer, and heartburn is just starting to creep in. Not too badly though. I feel so massive though - like there is no space at all 😂 think my skin needs to stretch more! My low blood pressure has definitely made a come back too - get quite lightheaded if I get up too quick, and see those flashy squiggly lights too. Trying to remember to take it slower but it’s hard with a very energetic almost 4yr old running around the place.

I hope you are all doing as well you can - it’s tough having pregnancy after losses, then add extra health things to the mix and it makes for some real ups and downs at times!

I'll be putting him in nursery from september and getting a routine for myself back in place before i go to work, as ive gone 12 years in jobs where i have my own routine🤣 no children to think about.
Now i need to think about doing lunch for me, baby and DP for work/nursery (the nursery i found doesnt do meals you have to take your own😅)
So i need to get myself in a routine and will be nice to have some time to maybe cry knowing hes gone to nursery🤣

I cried yesterday because i look frumpy in my clothes, my clothes i bought im struggling to fit into, i cant wear jeans at all (i bought myself some new jeans that are size 22 and i cried because i can get them on like a glove, i have a lot of room in the legs, but i couldnt fasten over bump and i refuse to buy maternity jeans🤣
I ordered bigger bras from yours on friday and they've not even turned up🙃
So im getting really fucked off as the bras i have are starting to hurt my back and im having spillage🙃 again refuse to buy nursing bras especially when i'll spend majority of the time not wearing one when im on mat leave!!
Hormones got a little much yesterday, DP started carressing my cheek telling me not to cry over my clothes, we can buy more and i still look beautiful. Of course i cried even more🤣

Cant cope with pregnancy hormones🤣🤣

I hope you’re doing ok! My friend had a blood clot about a year after her 2nd boy was born, so is on warfarin. She had 2 other bubbas following that! She does have to be careful bruise wise - she said the thinners make her bruise more easily, which was amplified in pregnancy due to the extra blood, but otherwise it all went smoothly x

@LER2023 I got some hotmilk necessity bras off vinted - they expand in the cup. Sooo comfy and not to expensive 👍🏻 I am a 32D normally so my cup size gets bigger in pregnancy lol - I can use them for breastfeeding too but I didn’t make much milk at all last time and almost starved my
daughter in the few days after my colostrum ran out, so this time I’m going to see how I go, and won’t bother with a feeding plan (to try and increase supply) if the same thing happens.

I can’t cope with over the bump clothes so go for a lot of underbump stuff, but as this bump is so high, I have managed to still wear my joggers at home/supermarket shops etc. Back to school on Weds so I need to see what fits after the holidays 😬

That makes sense about getting into a new routine with bubs in tow :) I have decided to put it on the back burner as it was hurting my brain lol! I know the funding won’t start until Jan 1st, as it is the term after they turn 9mths old - but if I only get a day a week I may be forced back to work in September (forced as in we will need the money as we probably won’t be able to afford 3mths £0 after months and months of SMP (teacher OMP is pretty poor - obviously better than some, but still definitely not great lol) but equally - we won’t be able to afford nursery fees for a while term. So I decided to worry about it all later lol!

So if baby is 9 months in august they surely can go in september? This whole 30 hours thing hurts my brain too🤣
Im hoping for someone who works in nursery to explain what i can have so i can work around it as DP is trying to change his hours to suit but without knowing whats what its difficult but all he keeps saying is 'we have a year to worry about that' my face when he says it is just 😒🙄
Like im sure he forgot i used to work in nurseries and know how bad the demand can ve and with these 30 hours free starting from september... well the demand is going to be even worse as parents need to go back out to work🙃

My SIL says shes staying off until my nephew turns 5.. i dont know how she can do it, in this day and age when shes got 4 children all ages between 1 - 16🤣
My mind boggles honestly! Id love to stay off until hes 5, but know i'l end up pulling my hair out being out of work then again shes not putting my nephew in nursery either🙄
Id love to be off lomger than a year, but jesus i do genuinly believe i would pulk my hair out🤣🤣

Im currently living in leggins, sized up.
Dresses, starting to be fitted dresses now😅 and crocs for my swollen left foot🤣 (bloody heat is killing me and my foot!)
But said to my DP, its annoying me because im wearing the same 5 dresses every week and im mainly wearing them for work! So i wanted a nice pair of jeans and a nice top to change up my week off... nope... the jeans dont fasten so i was back in my leggins😅
Starting to really despite leggins😅
At night im literally wearing a nightie for some leg and bump room and its so nice, but when your carrying low its hard🤣
Everyone thinks hes going to come in 6 weeks🙃

Ahh - I’m due end of Nov - and if she is anything like her older sister she will take her time 😂 so I’m expecting a Dec bubs which will push me to Jan funded hours! That being said - I dropped very low at 32 weeks with my first, everyone said the same to me - you’ll be early! My midwife said she reckoned my waters were probably thicker (is that the right word?!) between her head and my cervix, so the pressure didn’t build enough to go into labour early! She was 8lb 9lbs 11days over so would probably have been a 7lb-er if she came when they said!

I put my daughter on our nursery list very early and was allowsd to confirm days later - I also work in early childcare (well - Reception teacher now) so knew how manic it gets for places lol!

i’m the same with clothing to be fair - nothing is super comfy - and I’m not loving anything feeling too tight at the moment so even leggings make me feel a little uncomfortable, even though they stretch!

We have a 4D scan tomorrow, said to my DP i want to stare at the little face thats been kicking me a shit ton🤣 he just looked at me and went 'you are so strange! I cant feel it, they just feel like little flutters'
I wish... i really wish he could be pregnant for a day!🤣

Also third trimester diarrhoea... what the actual?

Ive gone from going regular in the first trimester (thank you weetabix cravings!!)
To being mostly constipated in my second trimester, now im in my 3rd its like the tables have turned and i need to run to the loo🙂 sorrg TMI.

Anything i can do to stop the poos haha!
I wouldnt mind but i get a little bit of cramping beforehand and then i have to run!!

Also had my midwife appointment last week all went perfect, asked her whether i could prop myself up in bed and sleep on my back, she said absolutely you only have to worry around 34 weeks, we say 28 to make you ready for the fact thay your uterus is getting heavier and although its a very slim chance of stillbirth, as you'd have to be on your back for hours, we like to make women aware of the dangers, but absolutely prop yourself up and sleep on your back..

Fast forward to this week, ive started getting cramping when i do!!!! I get cramps at night even when trying to turn over and it feels like a 3 point turn just to lay on my other side🤣
Lay on my side, get up on my side, shift onto my bum, lay on my other side, finally sleep!
But these cramps are weird!! Think braxton hicks are starting to kick in as when i move the cramps go!😬

@LER2023 it sounds weird - but fybogel can be used fir both constipation and loose stools. Apparently it helps bulk out the stool - could be worth a try? I have been using it regularly for this pregnancy as I have had the other problem lol! Gone from a very regular kinda gal pre-pregnancy to not at all lol!

@LER2023 I was flat on my back for a scan yesterday and they did offer a wedge as they said it can make pregnant ladies a bit dizzy being completely flat

I've just had another stay in hospital and wish I could have bought the bed home with me! So much easier to tilt the bed head of the bed up. I'm sleeping better on a gentle gradient and haven't worried too much about lying flat. So often I've been on the ctg monitor for almost an hour lying completely flat.

My bowels have been a bit up and down too. There was one night where I woke with a very urgent need to be on the toilet in the early hours. I spent the rest of the night fretting that I had caught a bug. I'm back to being a bit constipated now.

I'm 36 weeks and the exhaustion is off the charts which is worrying the OB especially as there doesn't seem to be any underlying cause. They are now looking to induce me next week because of it and keep me on blood tests every 3 days to see if something reveals itself. I'm on 3-4+ naps a day and only being awake from 2h at a time. There's a fair chance that I'll need a c section if I don't have the energy for labour

Good luck at your scan tomorrow @LER2023 it's amazing seeing their little faces even on the regular scans!

Hope the scan goes well @LER2023 im sure it will be wonderful.

Hope you manage some rest @Superscientist and things improve as it sounds like you’re really going through it. How do you feel at the possibility of an induction? I am presuming they are trying to hold to 37wks so your classed as full term?

WHAT A DAY I have had. Definitely the most emotional day I’ve had in this pregnancy, on reflection I think it’s hormones and not my midwife / the care I’ve received but I still am not happy with the responses I was given today. It was my 25wk appointment and she wouldn’t measure my bump or use the Doppler as apparently the trusts guidelines are no Dopplers ever and measuring doesn’t start until 28wks as at 25 most ladies measure smaller anyway and req referrals that the hospital refuse to follow up. The leaflets they gave me initially said fundal height is measured at today’s appointment so I think her saying it wasn’t upset me even more as it was an expectation I had but apparently since changed and leaflets not updated. It sent me in to spiral as I just wanted some reassurance things were okay.. he’s been moving this evening so I’m assuming he is fine but it would have taken her 30 seconds to do either/or and helped put my mind at rest. Felt so upset that I cancelled on dinner with my friend and have come home jumped in the bath and got in bed. Sorry for moaning just feel 😞 hope everyone has had a better day than me!

@Superscientist sounds like you’re having a rough time of late, I hope you’re ok. I was induced at 37 weeks in my first pregnancy and it was almost a relief after weeks of tests and scans.

@KT199 sorry to hear you didn’t have a great appointment! They didn’t do fundal height at my 25 week appointment but definitely listened to the heartbeat! I’m glad I don’t have the fundal height measurement anymore as I’ve got growth scans now, being told my bump is too small also sent me spiralling.

Had a call from the GP today to ask me to have a vitamin B12 and folate test today, luckily as I work at the hospital I could have it done straight away so will see what comes back. My little boy got sent home from nursery with a sick bug, fingers crossed I don’t pick it up! Also suffering with constipation at this point, my tummy is rock hard!

@KT199 I've got my head around induction, I've known I won't be going to term for the last month since I developed obstetric Cholestasis. They were prepared to induce at 35 weeks if I had gone from moderate to severe OC.
The only concern is me having the energy for labour so a c section is also on the cards as I can only stay awake at the moment for about 2h at a time.
@Jade3110 it would be a relief to be induced and not have the regular testing and waiting to hear the results and whether they have tipped into induction now categories.
Getting to term I think makes it an easier decision for me. I think they potentially would induce this week if necessary. My daughter is back to school next week so from that perspective it would be more convenient next week as at least we know there's 6h a day where she is being looked after!

@KT199 I also didn't get my bump measured at 25 weeks but have had the Doppler since 16 weeks

I hope the tests come back ok @Jade3110 if not they can be easily improved with supplements

@Superscientist that sounds so tough - I hope something shows up soon for you. The not knowing is hard, if you have an idea then you can put things in place to mitigate it at least.

@KT199 I didn’t have my fundal height done af 25weeks - did today at 28weeks but she didn’t tell me what it was. Being 41 I have growth scans from week 32 anyways as they have no real evidence but they seem to think the placenta is worse/the blood flow isn’t great as you get older! My trust does use the doppler at the 25week appointment though - I’m sorry you didn’t get to have that opportunity x

@Jade3110 I have found fybogel to be my best pregnancy companion this time round - well I buy a cheapy version now as I prefer to take it daily now lol - but I can tell if I don’t use it!

my bloods have already been updated from this afternoon - the 4 that are red and classed as “out of range” have levels that are REALLY similar to my bloods the day after I gave birth and was told I was anemic - so I’m not going to be surprised if I get a call soon that says I have to have iron tablets! Cue more constipation 🙄

Atleast you get to see your baby sooner! It may be that a csection is easier for you and baby!! Keep us up to date with everything. Wishing you the best of luck with it all, it all sounds like a hard pill to swallow!

I didnt have my bump measured ay my 28 week appointment, but they did listen to the heartbeat at 25, theres no ruling in place to say they cant listen as it changed from 16 to 25. They'll end up changing it to never listening to babys heartbeat at this rate!!!

Id ask to change midwife, you're midwife sounds shocking!! @KT199

I think a second opinion regarding heartbeats are needed here! There would be no use in community midwifes, if they dont listen in, if your 25 weeks and not feeling much movement if you have an AP, then you're not going to feel much movement... hense requiring listening. I just told my OH and he looked at me with a scour and went they do listen at 25 weeks, thats what our midwife says! Tell her, her midwife is shit and she needs a new one😅

Try and speak to triage and just say you're concerned, your midwife isnt listening in and following guidelines re heartbeat and appointments.

Thanks @LER2023 yes it will be good to meet the little fella sooner. I'll take any recommendations from the drs about getting him into the world in the safest way for both of us. My body is starting to struggle, I'm finding it hard to eat enough as I'm not awake that long. I was struggling with no gaining weight before the tiredness escalated but now I've lost 1kg and only 5kg over my weight at my booking appointment. If it wasn't the first day of the new school years on Monday I think I'd be asking for induction on Sunday at 37 weeks as it is I think that's what I'll request on Wednesday.

Not sure what's the problem at the moment but based on the blood tests I had yesterday I have called and brought in for induction today! Waiting to see the Dr to see what's wrong and what's the plan. So close to 37 weeks I'm 36+6 today which is guess as close enough to term!

Oooo good luck! Hope everything goes ok! Let us know how you get on xx