Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

@Pumpkinspice13 they are doing bloods at least weekly at the moment, last week I had to have extra tests as my liver function had changed significantly.

I had an appointment with the psychiatrist yesterday and she's said I can half a dose of the antihistamine with my other medicine and that be sedated is probably better than being awake all night itching. I took half last night and definitely think the full dose would have been too sedating but it was enough to help me get better sleep. I still woke a few times itching but was awake for a few minutes before going back to sleep rather than being awake for 20-90 minutes like I was the night before. Hopefully it's not a blip.

How are you doing @Pumpkinspice13?

I'm sorry you didn't get much rest last night @LER2023 it might take a day or so for the painkillers to build up in your system so I would give them a couple of days but if you aren't getting much improvement in 3 days I'd go back for something else. Are there any pgp organisation that have advice on what treatments are available?

Another fellow PGP sufferer here, in daily pain with it, driving me nuts. The midwife referred me to physio a few weeks back so hoping that starts soon. I got a belt but it was too big and useless (thank you nhs) so was hoping to wait to see physio before deciding/purchasing another as don’t want to waste money on a crap one!

also think that after everything we’ve been though last 3 years and this pregnancy this will also be my first and last child! love being pregnant but the daily issues are hard.

also can anyone recommend a pillow that is small, supports bump & lower back? I don’t like the massive ones and all the ones online seem to be polyester and feel horrible!!

babys head is on the 2.8 percentile and google is petrifying me but they are using the dating scan due date, not the ivf date - when I checked with the ivf date it’s on the 40th percentile so just hoping it’s a dating thing and even 3 days can throw it out massively.

x

They just give you a bandage to put round your hips and bump at Physio, i felt like i didnt get much out of my physio other than yes you dont have much strength in your legs, you need to start doing some leg exercises to build up the strength, but nothing to do with PGP🙃
NHS physio is so understaffed and just have no funding at all.
The bandage tube thing they give you is the most uncomfortable thing ever in this world, especially with a bump. I feel like im queezing into a size 10 dress as a size 16-18! It just doesnt suit me at all.
I bought a belt off amazon, they were meant to show me how to use it correctly, this didnt happen, although i am using it and i am using it correctly. Its going over my hips and back and pulling bump up, it causes more aggro than I need.
Cocodamol lasts for around 10 minutes and then i have the exceutiating pain back again. It seems to have gone from my left hip, into my right and now in them both which is a pain because i cant sleep on my back or front, and my hips are painful. Its like laying on a bed of nails🙃
I get really bad restless legs at night lately too, so the constant moving around isnt doing my hips any favours🙂
Ive not had my second trimester risk assessment at work to be able to tell my manager i cant physically do the work i used to, i have to slow down and sit down majority of the time for a bit of relief.
27 weeks almost in my 3rd trimester and still nothing from my manager.

Ive tried to work out some flexible hours for when baby is born and in nursery and my return to work lmao. I was told unless it suits the business i have to be reasonable. (I said id want to drop 10 hours a week at the most, so id be working 8 - 2 one week and 10 - 4 another to be able to pick my child up from nursery when DP is on afternoons and take him when DP is working mornings.
But this may not work out for the best, although ive been told that people who are due back to work after their mat leave are coming back on 2 days a week🙂...
So now im having to make another plan for my return to work so i can still fitnwork along side of looking after my son. He will get 30 hours funding next september and i need to work around those 30 hours he would get to make aure everything falls right. Im at a loss rn😮‍💨

@LER2023 snap with the hip sleeping pain! So used to sleeping on my belly and back and they are just done in with all the side sleeping - constantly swapping sides trying to find some relief. All our local nurseries seem to be oversubscribed 18m in advance. I’ve found one a little further out - the days are not what I’d pick but I don’t think I have the luxury to dictate, feel like I need to take what I can.
Also, seems that the 30hrs will likely only get you 3 days with all the new terms nursery’s are putting in place etc, also going to have to start them in line with an intake so sept (10m old) or potentially Jan 27 if we can make it work until then (unlikely!)
all very stressful!

see this is what I mean about the multitude of belts - so many that are uncomfy or useless - wish I could try them before I buy!!! The nhs one is really chunky and you can’t wear it sitting down which I do a lot of work wise so is a right faff to be taking it on & off!!

sorry work is so stressful too @LER2023 - absolute last thing you need on top of everything else!!

@Superscientist Thats brilliant that it helped you get a better nights sleep. Hopefully it continues to help! Sounds like they are doing a great job at monitoring your levels.Have you packed your hospital bag just incase?

I’m doing well. We are slowly preparing for baby and buying all the things we need, every time I see them I still can’t believe how far I’ve come in this pregnancy. I’m 28 weeks now and have my first growth scan today.

Oooooo growth scans!!! Does every mum get growth scans or is this just a one off for you?

We're 27 weeks! Its amazing how far you can get when you've had a loss. We're ready for him. The only thing thats kept me sane was buying stuff for him and getting ready for him being here! I have my midwife appt next wednesday and then 2 weeks i have my 30 week scan but i havent heard much more!

Its so exciting for everyone having their babies soon!

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 how you getting on its been a while since we heard from you! Xx

@Pumpkinspice13 it helped again last night. I have a hospital bag packed for me and a few bits for baby, not everything if he arrives early I don't have any clothes that will fit in so that will involve sending my partner across the road from the hospital to the large supermarket

I had my growth scan today, all is looking good. I saw the consultant too, the last two lots of bloods have been stable so I can go to visit my in-laws if I can get weekly bloods at their local hospital. As long as blood work stays as it is I'll be induced at 38 weeks.

@LER2023 not everyone gets growth scans but there's quite a long list of qualifying factors so many mums get them. Previously having big or small babies as well as conditions or medications that increase the risk of big or small babies and then anyone who has small, large, slow/fast growing bumps based on fundal measurements.

My medication puts me at risk of large babies which is why I get my growth scans.

I have my growth scans through preterm prevention clinic but would have needed them anyway due to previous large baby/shoulder dystocia. I have to see a consultant September 30th to speak about the birth. We have a feeling they are wanting me to have a c-section. I’m getting myself really worked up over it.
Well done you for being so organised @LER2023 I still have a bit to buy but slowly getting there. So many more options now it’s harder to decide what to buy.
Glad your growth scan went well @Superscientist. My scan went well, I had an amazing sonographer, she made it a lovely experience for a hospital scan. Baby was having a great time kicking away during the scan, was so cute to watch.

I’ve also got growth scans from 32 weeks, due to multiple reasons I’m guessing, ivf, age, fibroids, bleeding throughout 1st trimester, SCH, I’ve also had the smaller head measurements so I think I’d have had them scheduled with that regardless of everything else. I’m leaning towards a planned section tbh, the chances of needing to be induced and ending up with an emergency section are high enough for it to make sense to have a planned one and remove the panic and stress - I’ve been though enough the past 3/4 years, removing some uncertainty would be the best call for me!

Also having growth scans from 32 weeks! Due to previous thyroid issues, and my son was SGA (0.2 centile) - hoping this one isn’t as small and I can have a home birth!

@Superscientist sorry I didn’t reply before we’ve been away with little signal. I’m doing ok, tired and not really well rested but still another week before I’m back at work so hoping it helps. My husband has left me in bed the last two days while he gets up with our son which has been lovely but feel like I’m going to have to repay the favour tomorrow and Monday!

@Xwx1010 the 30 hours is term time only so you probably won’t even get three days! Our nursery spreads it over the year so we get about 22.5 hours a week which covers two and a bit days. Also factor in consumables charges, we’ve just had our first invoice for 30 hours and it’s still over £300 a month for 3 days… I mean it’s better than it was but still not great to factor in with maternity pay! Obviously you can get the tax free childcare too which helps a bit though. Plus my son is going to go to preschool one day a week from September which is another £40 a day so really we’re not much better off. I’m considering taking him out of private nursery when I’m on mat leave but he will only just turn 4 when he starts school and I worry that having the 6 weeks off next summer will make it difficult for him to adjust… my brain is a whirlwind now!

Had my 28 week appointment today (although I’m 29 weeks) and my fundal height is measuring below the 3rd centile. I’m fully panicking, got a scan tomorrow but convinced something bad is going to happen 😭

Try not to panic. My daughter was 10th percentile fundal measurements but 60th percentile at birth! This pregnancy has been similar 10th percentile bump and 40-50th percentile on the growth scan

If they are small it's best to know this now and you can have all the monitoring they need to get the best outcome.

@Superscientist my son was SGA and I had growth scans from 28 weeks so I never got my bump measured last time, my husband thinks I’m bigger this time so hopefully tomorrow it will show it’s ok. I can’t help but go straight to thinking something is wrong though x

Good luck at your scan today! I hope it goes well!
I dont think theres much to worry about! As other people have said.
I think a lot of it is estimated really!

I have a midwife appointment today and again next week... im not too sure why😅
Not complaining as i get to hear his little heartbeat!
Then i have a scan on the 8th😅
Gosh these appointments are actually exhausting!!
Thank god i had a good night sleep last night!😂

@Jade3110 before I had my midwife appointment for the fundal measurements I was expecting it to be larger as everyone was telling me what a big bump I have but it turned out to be the same... It might have more padding around the uterus this time around though! 😂
Good luck with your scan, let us know how you get on.

I hope your midwife appointment goes ok @LER2023 never turn down an excuse to listen to their little heartbeats

Whenever I have been into triage for bloods they've offered to put me on the monitor to check everythings ok and I've said yes every time. It never gets old!

I'm nervously waiting for the last blood results I had taken yesterday, the obstetrician should be reviewing them this morning to find out if they are still in the moderate range and I can go to 38 weeks or if they have gone up again and need inducing this week. I am feeling awful this week so I'd like to speak to them about that too. I've been up an hour and I'm ready to go back to bed.

Sorry you’re feeling rough @Superscientist - how many weeks are you now? Let us know how you get on with the obstetrician.

I think I’m flitting between everything will be fine, and of course everything won’t be fine, how dare I think it would be?! I think it’s one of the reasons I’ve not done much for the baby this time, I just can’t believe it will all be ok. Yesterday I bought a pack of nappies on a whim before my appointment and now I’m like it’s karma for thinking everything would be ok. Only a couple of hours to wait and see though!

35 weeks, they have phoned with this week's results. My liver results are stable so still on target for induction at 38-39 weeks. I mentioned the fatigue to the person on the phone who said my iron levels were normal and to contact triage if I'm concerned but not sure where the point of being concerned is. I'm currently on the sofa dozing whilst watching the TV whilst the family have headed out for the day.
I've also not put on any weight at all in about 6 weeks I'm not sure if that's typical or not

I'm the same I have only bought a pack of newborn nappies, some cotton wool and a single baby grow which my daughter picked out to give to baby.

What time is your scan @Jade3110

My midwife appointment went beautifully.
Apparently his heartbeat was deafening for them hahaha!
Hes also head down which explains the pain in my pelvis!!! It was overall really good! Im really pleased with how it went!

I hope today went ok for you! Its horrible when you feel so shit!! Fingers crossed you feel better soon x

I feel shattered too @Superscientist maybe it’s the weather? Glad you’re still on track for 38 weeks onwards!
Scan Is done, all ok. Looks like 65th centile so approx 3lb 3oz at the moment, have another scan in 3 weeks which was already booked so will see how that compares but at least for now its ok.

@LER2023 glad your midwife appointment went well and baby is where they need to be!

Thank you!! How far along are you? Im so glad your scan went well today honey!
Its nice to see baby wriggling on the scan!
I think you'll always have that anxiety, its a shame really how bad the anxiety gets when you've gone through a loss! We'll all have healthy babies at the end of it all, the tiredness, pain, prods, anxiety and all the rest! X

That's a good weight for 29 weeks @Jade3110 ! My dad was born at 28 weeks and was 2lb3oz! I hope it continues, just take things one day and week at a time.

Sorry your shattered too, all I've managed to do today is nap but wake just as tired, so glad not to be working! I think I could fall asleep standing up at the moment.

I'm glad your midwife appointment went ok @LER2023 I'm pleased baby is in the right position. I felt so much relief to hear he was head down!

@Superscientist my son was born at 37 weeks at 4lb 8oz so I’m really pleased with the weight. It’s his 3rd birthday tomorrow and I’m so emotional!

@LER2023 i’m 29+1! It was lovely to see them, my mum came with me and it’s the first scan she’s seen since my brother was born 35 years ago, she said “ooh they’ve come a long way since my day” which I thought was cute and hilarious! A lovely moment to share and I feel so relieved now x

Thats such a cute thing to say bless her!!
But yes shes right scans have come such a long way in what you can see and what they can find!

I work in the hospital and one of the governers of the hospital (i get along with her very well!!) Bought me a gift and i honestly almost sat and cried about it! Its so cute!

My manager gave me a risk assessment today because i have pelvic girdle and needed to make sure i was safe and happy while im still there😅

They're going to be interviewing for my job on the 10th of september for mat cover. Which is freaky!! Im not used to thinking that i'll be going on mat leave from the 3rd of November😬
She actually said to me i hope you're aware that if he was to come early your mat leave would start from his date of birth! Haha yes im aware and already worried about it🤣 mainly because i dont want him to come early😬

We're staying at the inlaws from tonight to look after 2 crazy pooches, as we booked them a holiday to spain for the week after all the craziness thats been happening it seems well deserving!😅 when we booked it, i was like yeah thats ok! I'll deal, im only like 12 weeks pregnant, we'll be good looking after them! Didnt expect it to be difficult. Now im 28 weeks pregnant and im like urghhhhh i dont think i can cope with pain, sleep deprivation, constant bad bladder AND barking dogs🤣 (one loves the sound of his own voice!)

I hope everyone is doing ok! My OH is doing a run to manchester airport with the inlaws as i type this and is stuck in a hell of a lot of traffic!😅
So i'll be hearing a lot of the dogs barking and him moaning that hes been sat in traffic for 5 hours for a run that should have been done in 3 hours there and back!🤣

@LER2023 our due dates must be close as I’m also going on mat leave on the 4th nov! And also work in the hospital haha.

midwife called today to say my FBC came back with high infection markers and also MCV was high so need to have a test to see if I have a vitamin B12 deficiency… if it’s not one thing it’s another!

Ive been laying a little low on MN over the last few weeks but nice to come and read the updates.

Sorry @Superscientist hope you don’t need to be induced too early. It must be nice to feel like your coming close to the end now!!

@Jade3110 glad the size scare was nothing of concern after a scan. I do find it really daunting personally that they only measure off our tummies which is so inaccurate. You’d think as standard at 32 wks everyone got a growth scan and then any further scans if it looks needed. What a pain about the B12.. would it be as simple as just having vitamins do you know?

@LER2023 good luck with the dog sitting!! We have 2 of our own and it’s a baptism of fire if you’re not used to looking after them. How are you feeling now?

I’m 25wks tomorrow and feel that feeling movement has calmed my anxiety a lot in comparison to the earlier weeks. Trying to push away negative feels and trust my body to do its job now and cook this little baby to the best of its ability. I’ve definitely got a fair sized bump now, I am getting a lot of comments about it appearing from nowhere and having popped ect it’s getting difficult to hide. When did all of you ladies first start to notice people noticing/commenting on your bump?