Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

Congratulations on the positive 20 weeks scans ladies. It always feels like such a milestone!

20 week scan was all good, had a bit of a tense time when they couldn’t measure all the sections of the heart so went for a walk and then they managed to do it. We asked not to find out the gender but I’m pretty sure the sonographer said “he” a few times and both my husband and I thought we saw balls 🤣

@Jade3110 good news! Glad it went well x

I have my 20 week on monday and absolutely shitting myself.
His sister has her surgery booked for the 3rd, shes having her neck cut open to cut out half of her thyroid, so currently worrying about her and my DP has been to his ear appointment to be told he will have an MRI scan in october and then surgery following that MRI scan as he has perforated ear drums and constantly gets ear infections. So possibly while im on mat leave with baby, he will be in agony after his ear surgery.

Someone at work has decided to take it upon themselves (although not HR) to offer my job out😅 im only 19 weeks and havent even spoken about mat leave with my manager yet who is head of HR!! so im a bit pissed about that.
Its just unprofessional in the best terms. Shes only a volunteer manager and shes not even let my seat go cold yet and shes offering it out! Ive got another 20 weeks to go until im due!!😅

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 id definitely get in touch with an outsider/union about your job as that is 10000% pregnancy discrimination. I hope everything is going ok!

So glad everyones getting good 20 week scans! Im shitting myself for mine!🫠

Hope everyone is doing ok! X

@LER2023 I was absolutely terrified for mine too, I didn’t relax the whole way through. I was just waiting for them to say something was wrong, so I can totally empathise with you.

I had half of my thyroid removed in 2015, hope your sister is ok and hope your partners operation doesn’t impact your mat leave too much!

Speak to your manager about the job! Surely they can’t just offer it out without things being in place like budget etc, and imagine they’d need your MATB1? They’re not covering my role at work so I’ve just got to palm my workload off on other!

Well we've been recruiting so the budget for this year is almost gone.
I'll be surprised if we can afford for someone to cover my mat leave.. i do need to speak to her about it, she will probably reassure me that all is ok and will be sorted in the end but gosh its a little quick!

Ive felt more movement from baby last night. He doesn't like me moving in bed🤣
All he does is wiggle about like ive interrupted his sleep if i just turn over. You know not that the constant peeing and wake ups arent interrupting me?💀

Think i'm going to have a very dramatic baby🤣🤣🤣

Ive got an anterior placenta which explains why I can’t feel much yet, it does add another layer of anxiety though that I won’t know if everything’s ok! Oh god the constant needing a wee, I was at yoga last week and had to go twice in a 45 min class 🤣

Glad the 20wk scans seem to be going well!

I’m wondering when to start expecting feeling movement? It’s my first baby though so think it can be delayed? My gender scan said posteria placenta which is high up

@KT199 i think anything up to 24 weeks is normal!

posteria is adjacent to your back, anterior is front, fundal is top.

It’s all different for everyone and apparently if you’ve had a baby before you can feel earlier.
16-24 usually but anterior is often later side of this -I’m 21w with anterior. After food if I rest my hand on left side I can feel popping / swishing but for all I know it’s digestion 😂

Depends on what you mean by movement.
Usually you would be looking at 16-20+ weeks for movement but the movements are very subtle and can easily be missed. They will get more obvious from 20-28 weeks.

I posted on a thread earlier about a woman worrying about not having felt "kicks" but from talking to her she was feeling regular movements just not kicks, this was at 26 weeks.

I had a posterior placenta with my first and had possible movements at 16 weeks but really it only just like digestion and it was only weeks later when they got more obvious that I realised that what I had been experiencing was moving. This time around I have an anterior placenta and had the same so probably a bit later as usually you feel movements earlier with your second. Probably since 23-24 weeks I've had proper movements. They started really low down in my bikini line

Thanks ladies, useful insights!! Just handy to know when others experienced it, however know everyone is different and did think with your first it is probably a little later and not clear what your feeling. I’m not expecting to feel/understand for another good few weeks it least but was curious with being almost 16w now as thought I’d heart people mention 16w but wasn’t sure exactly the circumstances!

Little update from me - officially into the third trimester now, which is lovely!

Got approved for another c section (definitely don't fancy a vbac) and starting to get some little bits for the baby now!

I'm 27 weeks on Sunday. It feels weird and reassuring at the same time. It feels a lot more real.
It must be a relief to have a birth plan you are happy with @InvisibleDragon

I still can't bring myself to buy anything, I've made a list of the stuff I have left from my daughter and washed them. My mum bought a few bits but I haven't got the out of the bag yet.
My mood has plummeted this week which isn't helping

I hope you're feeling ok! I saw your other post, its hard when your mental health isnt working with you!

Theres definutely going to be some down days and up days! If you need to speak to anyone just know my DM is always open! X

20 week scan and im absolutely shitting my knickers.
This feeling is horrible! Ive got another 2 scans after this one too! Give me some strength to get through today🫠

Im sure he's ok, as ive felt a few wiggles from him over the past couple of days. But im just so worried that hes not ok!

Thanks @LER2023 I appreciate it.
It's hard to talk about because I kinda feel like I've brought it on myself as I know pregnancy and birth puts me at high risk but I've never been one for avoiding things in case it messes up my mental health. I do them anyway and hope to make it out the other side!

Good luck with your scan today. For me the 20 week scan has always been harder than the 12 week scan. I always think that the bad news in the 12 weeks scan is usually beyond your control but there's more nuance in how the anomaly scan goes and it's a bit more down to you. I know a few people that have had bad news but I reassured myself with most people I know have had good news and those with bad news only stick in my mind so much because they are the unusual ones.

Do you think you'll find out the sex at the scan?

We'wv had it confirmed, hes definitely a boy! All is good, he was playing with his hands🥰

But the sonographer couldnt get a good picture AGAIN! I did warn him this morning to behave🤣

Hes all healthy, and ive had my whooping cough vaccine!

Beautiful! 🤩

I'm glad all was ok

Amazing news @LER2023 glad your scan went well.
I hope everyone is coping well with the heat.
@CloudsInMyCoffee09 is your scan this week? Xx

I am definitely not coping in this heat... like at this point i could cry🫠

I cant get comfortable in bed and im just too hot🙃

Has anyone else lost their ankles?

Ive gone from relatively ok ankles to the worst cankles.. i'll soon not be able to see my toes because if the swelling😅

I work full time in the hospital so im on my feet pretty much all day, but jheeze.. the ankle swelling is ridiculous!! My ankle socks are tight on my feet today!

Ive been wearing flat shoes to let my feet breathe a little and even my swelling was coming over my shoes!!

Also the pains in my hips and leg last night i could have pulled them off for a good night sleep. Please tell me this gets better.. because i am having it rough! Its making me very emotional because i just cant get a good night sleep.. its always something... heat...aches...pains.

I had my whooping cough vaccine on monday so my arms a little dead too😅

Hi all, I've not posted for a while, but today is my 20 week scan so feeling very nervous. I'm also exactly 20 weeks today. I had to resign in to mumsnet so my username is slightly different to my earlier posts on this thread.

has been great reading about some recent positive 20 week scans.

heat wave seems to have now passed, I am knackered and have a headache today. Trying to avoid taking anything but had to take paracetamol as I'm finding it hard to function at work . Work stress is also very high!

hope you're all ok

@LER2023 pleased your scan went so well. The heat has been terrible but grey rainy skies where I am today.. not sure which I’d prefer 🤣

@Jennie1985 good luck with your scan sure it will go well!

I had my 16w midwife appointment this morning at 16w4d. I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety over the last week, not because of personal situations, but my sister experienced 2 losses (one MC and one MMC) between 15-16.5 weeks so really in my own head. Midwife didn’t use Doppler but didn’t ask either as was too worried she wouldn’t find it and I’d spiral. We go on our baby moon next week so may just have a reassurance scan before to put my mind at rest. I can feel my stomach is growing so hoping that’s a good sign, along with the fact I am ravenous 24/7!!

@LER2023 Sounds like you are having a rough time. Try and get your feet up and rest as much as possible when you can and keep a close eye on your blood pressure. Is there another room you could sleep in that’s cooler?
The heat has been really hard to deal with, hopefully it cools down a bit now. I’ve bought some flat sheets to use at night instead of blankets, a thermos jug for next to my bed and been having cool baths/showers before getting into bed and it’s helping a little. I have sciatic pain down my left side, I’m hoping it’s not going to last through pregnancy.
@JenJennie1985 good luck at your scan today!! Let us know how it goes!
@KT199 I really struggled during those weeks due to my previous losses and found a scan really helped me with reassurance.