Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

Wishing all of you all the best 💕

Unfortunately ladies it’s not a happy update.

Scan showed a sac but only the tiniest fetal pole, possible the development stopped at 2-3 weeks. I’m still bleeding so hoping my body continues to miscarry naturally. I have to go back in a couple of weeks for a 2nd scan.

I wish you all the very best of luck with your pregnancies. Hopefully there will be plenty of little rainbow babies for you all.

Oh I'm so sorry @Fullofconfusion. Take some time to yourself to process and wishing you all the best for the future

I’m so sorry @Fullofconfusion Wishing you all the best for the future ❤️

Im so sorry you're having to go through this again.

Please take time for yourself, take care of yourself hopefully we'll see you again in the future with a healthy sticky baby.

Sending so much love your way xx

Oh I’m so sorry @Fullofconfusion 💔

Please rest up and look after yourself. What a terrible situation to find yourself in ☹️

I’m so sorry @Fullofconfusion 😢 please look after yourself and give yourself some time. I know there’s nothing anyone can say to make you feel better, so just sending a hug xx

Its been very quiet on here!!
I hope everyones doing ok and surviving the heat!

Me for one im not surviving well.
I have a co-infection so baceterial and viral infection in my chest which is wonderful.

How is everyone else doing?

Hey @LER2023 hope you are feeling better soon!
I’m not loving the heat. I’ve spent the last few days doing as little as possible.
Hope everyone is doing well!! Xx

I'm so very sorry @fullofconfusion 💔 I hope you're as OK as you can be. It's such an awful time and I have everything crossed for your rainbow baba in the future. Sending big hugs xxx

Hello! Aw I'm sorry you're poorly, that's rubbish! Here's to a speedy recovery!

I hate the heat normally anyway and I despise it when pregnant haha. I'm mostly hiding indoors from it all! Xx

Sorry I've been so quiet. We had our little family staycation last week which was really lovely, albeit exhausting!

This week I've not been great... I've been off work with dizziness and generally feeling rubbish. I ended up in maternity triage to check for a heart beat after panicking that my movement had been ramping up then suddenly seemed to stop. All is fine but feeling like an anxious wreck.

Also added stress of work being awful, to the point I've started looking into legal advice for pregnancy discrimination.

First they weren't going to pay me for my appointments. The congratulated me on my pregnancy when I told them two weeks ago but then instantly mentioned that we need to have my end of probation meeting and the have some slight concerns, which have come out of absolutely nowhere.

This week they seemed annoyed I'm off sick, on Wednesday, day 3 of being ill, the boss came over to collect my laptop from my house. It doesn't make any sense at all that they would need it back, and so urgently. Especially when I didn't give any indication that I'd be off for a long time or anything.

Now I feel really uncomfortable and don't want to go back into the office. I got a threatening sounding email saying we need to have my probation meeting or they'll just make a decision without me being there... basically seems I'm now the enemy for being poorly and pregnant.

I got a doctors note saying I should work from home for four weeks but they haven't responded to that. My gut says I'm getting fired on Monday and I don't know how I'm going to get another job whilst looking pregnant 😩 what a mess! Xx

Sorry your having a shit time with work, defo get some legal advice.
Glad all was well with baby, it can be really scary when they go quiet.
You go anywhere nice? Not sure if you said where you were heading? Xx

Are you in a union? I would get on touch with pregnant then screwed for advice

Job hunting in pregnancy is an extra complication. I was made redundant at 7 weeks. I looked for a new job until about 14 weeks and then decided to take a career break and I'll restart when baby is about 6 months old. I got the form today to apply for maternity allowance and will apply for that next week. I got my mat1b form at my 25 week midwife appointment.

@Fullofconfusion I’m so so so sorry. I hope you’re being well looked after 😢🧡

@LER2023 oh no, hope you feel better soon, that sounds rough.

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 omg this is horrible, workplaces/managers really can make lives a a misery. I’d second a union & pregnant and screwed - sounds like they’re looking for a reason to offload you which is basically illegal! Making your work life difficult is constructive dismissal too… keep a log of everything! Bastards. Let us know how you get on x

Sorry you’re going through this @CloudsInMyCoffee09 it’s not what you need right now! Hope you get somewhere with the legal advice and defo contact pregnant then screwed!

@Fullofconfusion I’m so sorry! Please give yourself time and space to feel whatever you need to feel, every journey of griefy is different but all equally valid xx

@LER2023 I am lucky as I feel the cold (well, not lucky in winter as I am perpetually cold then lol) but it does mean I get off lightly during heatwaves!! Although the classroom was like a greehouse when I was working this week, and the lack of breeze and multiple hot sticky children made for an interesting few days 😂

I had my midwife appointment and all was good. We got to hear the heartbeat which was reassuring, and she has booked me in for an extra appointment in between my 20week scan and 25week midwife appointment as she knows I have been feeling a bit anxious about it all which is lovely!!

I hope you are feeling a bit better today?

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 Oh no - that’s awful! Definitely get outside agency advice - if you don’t have a union ACAS often have freeadvoce consultations too!

i’m pretty sure I’m going to be told I’m only needed for 1 day next year (can get away with it as they will say it’s the needs of the school 🙄) which will make things tight at home budget wise. We shall see!

Oh gosh @CloudsInMyCoffee09 absolutely not the stress you need right now. That also sounds pretty illegal and I would definitely take some advice as others have suggested. If you have mentioned pregnancy and then out of the blue performance monitoring has sprung up you should be able to demonstrate this so think you’d have a good case of unfair dismissal if they did do the worst.

@LER2023 Get well soon, sounds tough!!

@Bellabubble How lovely for the extra appointment, definitely the kind of support you need!

All seems well with me and baby, we had our gender scan over the weekend and found out we’re having a little boy 🩵. Me and my husband found out alone and then we shared a nice moment with each of our closest family members by taking them some cupcakes revealing. I’m just over 15wks now and we have our baby moon booked for around 2 weeks time. I’m hoping to ask the midwife to listen to baby’s heartbeat next week at my 16w appointment not sure if they will, understand if they won’t but you don’t get without asking.

The other thing to check @CloudsInMyCoffee09 is your home insurance. If you have legal cover it can help in most situations not just ones associated with claims on your home insurance.

Hope everyone is ok, glad it’s cooling down a bit!

I have my 20 week scan tomorrow and I am absolutely terrified. All I can imagine is that there’s going to be some bad news. I have started to feel more movement but I still can’t relax and enjoy it or look forward to it. I’m nearly crying at work today going through all different scenarios in my head. I thought after this scan I’d be able to relax and start actually getting organised but I just can’t envision a happy ending. People keep saying how exciting it is and I’m like “mm yeah”, I don’t feel I can let on to anyone how I feel about it all!

@KT199 congratulations on your boy news! Definitely ask at your appointment, my midwife didn’t do it but I didn’t challenge it and wish I had now!

Had my 20w today, most things seen but baby position was awkward so have to go back to have the spine checked. Weight was 318g which puts them about 60th percentile I think.. but the head was small, we were being referred to consultant but she remeasured and said we were 10th percentile for head so not required now.
Ive also got a low lying placenta 🫣 1.7cm and they want it to be 2cm but apparently 90+% of low lying placentas move up in time so fingers crossed.
feeling abit mixed about it; hoping it’s just a case of we have a family of small heads and baby is fine. At least we get another scan in a few weeks. Xx

Amazing News you are having a boy @KT199 congratulations.
Good luck for tomorrow @Jade3110 !! I hope it goes well.

@Xwx1010 glad your scan went well! You must have been so stressed when checking baby’s head measurements. Hopefully your placenta will move up by your next scan.

I also had my 20 week scan today. Baby’s femur was measuring 5% but midwife wasn’t worried and said above 3% is fine.
Baby was doing gymnastics and had her legs over her face but luckily stayed still for all the measurements. Felt so relieved seeing her even though I can feel her now.