Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

Oh I also had a really underwhelming midwife appointment on Friday. She checked my urine and blood pressure then basically kicked me out coz I didn't really have any questions. Then I got home and realised I needed to ask if this last week of my progesterone supply is my last or if I get more so I need to ring her today!

You'd think she'd bring this stuff up herself from looking at my file etc, I find it all a bit weird tbh! I'd heard they check the heartbeat and stuff but none of that happened either xx

@LER2023 what a relief with the bleeding that must be a nice feeling.

Ohhh I’m sorry @CloudsInMyCoffee09!! Try to enjoy your staycation this week! 😊 I’m sure it was nothing but a bad dream but when they’re vivid it can really mess with your head and affect your emotions. The good thing is if it really gets on top of you, it least with still being in the UK you should be able to find a private scan clinic if needed.

I had my 12w scan last Wednesday and thankfully all was well 😊 I was measuring 12+4 which was 4 days ahead of all my other scans so quite shocked about that but also not complaining. Feels good to have hit that milestone but I’m still feeling a little nervous but must admit I feel abit better. We are going to book a gender scan in 3 weeks when I’m 16.

I'm sorry your midwife appointment was underwhelming @CloudsInMyCoffee09 . I think it's up to the midwife whether they check the heartbeat at 16 weeks as there's no guarantee they will be able to find it and in some place they don't do the referrals for not detecting the heartbeat by Doppler until 20 weeks so it just adds to stress rather than ease it.

I'm glad your scan went ok @KT199

As of yesterday I'm now 24 weeks! It feels like quite an achievement 😁

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 my 16 week midwife appt was also pretty pointless - I think I was in there for less than 10 minutes. Blood pressure etc and mentioned some vaccinations.
still another 2 weeks until my 20w scan and I’ve been so tempted to book in private.. trying to told on. When’s your next scan? x

Also think I’m developing PGP 😩 lower pelvis felt very heavy all weekend and lots of groin pain x

@CloudsInMyCoffee09I had a vivid dream last night that I was marrying a co-worker who I really dislike so I’m hoping there’s nothing in the weird dreams! Hope you have a lovely break away and manage to relax.

@Xwx1010oh no! I had that with both of my previous pregnancies and it’s grim. Speak to your midwife as they may be able to refer you for some physio which apparently helps. I wish I’d known that the first time around as I was in agony by the end of my pregnancy.

@LER2023great news that your bleeding seems to be stopping. Fingers crossed for you as it must be so stressful.

@KT199so glad your scan went well.

it’s my booking appointment this week. Hoping my midwife is helpful and understanding as I’m very nervous about being pregnant again. I should get at least one additional scan due to my previous TFMR so need to find out how I organise this. Not had a date for my 12 week scan yet and will be 10 weeks by the time I have my appointment. I plan to organise a private scan an NIPT before that anyway

I would anticipate that the midwife will refer you to consultant care then you'll have an appointment with an Obstetrician and they'll decide the monitoring you need and make the arrangements

I'm on long term medication so am high risk because of this. My midwife referred me through to the consultant the appointment came through some time around 17 weeks this time but the same appointment with my pregnancies i miscarriage were booked between 13 and 17 weeks (my booking appointment this time was later) and the consultant went through my history and decided what monitoring I needed so has booked me for a glucose tolerance test and is going to research if I need monitoring for clots due to family history. I'll also get extra scans and she documented the timings of them. She's seeing me again at 28 weeks.

Thanks @Superscientistthat’s really helpful.

They dont tend to check it anymore! They start listening around 25 weeks because it can be difficult to find at 16 and when mums couldnt hearcit they'd worry and cant be sent to EPAU to be checked over that (according to my midwife anyway) sorry it was so underwhelming for you. Mine was pretty much the same. Bloods, blood pressure, urine sample, told me about vaccines and off we popped.

It's varied, the checked the heartbeat at my 16 week appointment but possibly getting less common!

Hey all hope you’re ok! 18 weeks for me today and got a consultant appointment on Friday. I’m so anxious at the minute, still not 100% confident I’ve felt any movement, although I definitely have a bump and my boobs are growing… hopefully they’re good signs! 20 week scan is 2 weeks today so just hoping these two weeks pass quickly and everything will be ok. Still feel like I’m tempting fate to make any plans etc!

I’m the same as you when it comes to movement! I’m 17 weeks and have been feeling a few flutters over the last few days but then today, nothing! It’s made me a bit anxious but I’m just trying to tell myself that it’s still very early for baby to be getting into a proper pattern.

I'm 24 weeks and still have days with minimal movement. I think at this point as well as them easily moving somewhere where you can't feel them the movements can be quite subtle so if you've got a lot going on it can be easy to have not registered movements. I know for me that the busy days are the days when I've had or been less aware of movements.

@HLouise94 @Superscientist its so hard to not read into every little thing isn’t it. I keep thinking I feel something and then tell myself it was just wind or my trousers digging in or something! With my son I’m sure I’d felt something by this point but I’d never had a loss with that pregnancy so was less anxious and not reading into it as much!

Bit late to the party welcome @jade3110 sorry abiut your previous losses.
Its difficult getting pregnant after a loss, because you do worry about everything.
Im feeling the odd movement and it feels weird and on the days i dont feel him move i just say hes sleeping right now.

Im dealing with lack of sleep at the minute!🤣
Its killing me! Other night my OH had a very bad bout of restless leg syndrome and baby was moving too... so i barely slept with either boy🤣
I said one of you are going to have to vacate the bed and its not going to be the baby! You're getting on my last nerve🤣
Ive been quite horrible at night towards my OH.. which makes me feel incredibly sorry for him, but i do try to make up for it during the day when im the nicest🤣
How is everyone, any milestones or scans that you're excited/anxious for?

Ive got 3 weeks until my scan and its killing me🙄

I have a scan at 30 weeks and 37 if he feels like he doesnt want to come earlier🤣

So i'll have a very long 10 week wait before my scan after my 20 week!

Sorry you are having issues sleeping @LER2023 . We are having the opposite it problem as my snoring has gotten worse so my partner is potentially evicting himself because I'm getting on his nerves overnight!

I hope the wait for the 20 week scan goes quickly. Hopefully the wiggly baby is some comfort!

I've got my 25 week midwife appointment tomorrow! I'm down to have extra scans starting at 30 weeks and then every two weeks I think but have a 2 week holiday arranged in the middle so not sure if all will go ahead.

He had a very quiet day yesterday but I was also on the go for most of the day. I got a few reassuring movements when I slowed down and got into bed.

I had my booking appointment today. Midwife dated me from the first day as my last period (which I knew she would) so put me a week ahead of where I think I am. That would make me 10+6. So she’s also booked me in for my dating scan which is on Tuesday! Pleased to be having a scan so quickly. We planned to book a private NIPT test next week but there doesn’t seem much point if we’re having the NHS scan on Tuesday.

My appointment took a very long time. Midwife was lovely and reassuring. She advised me to get in touch with any worries that I have even if it’s just that I’m feeling anxious and need a chat. She’s also flagged me for consultant care as I’ll need an extra heart scan due to previous baby having heart problems which led to ending the pregnancy.

Me and my OH currently have a horrible cold. My sinuses are really sore and I wish I could use some Sudafed spray. He of course has man flu so is 100 times worse! Haha

How is everyone else doing?

Happy Friday everyone hope you’re all well. Had consultant today, got to go back in 2 weeks for internal scan to check my cervix length as had a previous LLETZ procedure, and also a uterine Doppler to check blood flow and then she’ll decide if I need growth scans from 28 weeks or 32. Still can’t feel much/if any movement, but 29 week scan in 10 days so hopefully that will go ok!

Also struggling with horrific hayfever, feels like I’ve been punched in the nose!

Heya! I have been a bit quiet recently - just trying to get through to my midwife appointment next week without a scan. I’m still waivering about whether to get one tomorrow. I have felt some sort of bubbly/butterfly feelings when I’m in bed and laying still at night (could be wind/could be bubba) and my belly has definitely popped as 3 people at work outright asked me if I was pregnant (bold move lol) but I don’t know whether I want the anxiety lead up to the scan, but equally - I will feel just as bad the the midwife appointment when she looks for the heartbeat. She has already said she will do this - I will be almost 17 weeks at the appointment. I just don’t know - so mostly I’ve just tried to pretend nothing is happening! It’s a funny place to be in.

i hope everyone is doing ok (as ok as we can) and that your positive days and thoughts are starting to outweigh the anxious ones x

My dating scan is tomorrow morning and this morning I have very light pink discharge. At work at the moment panicking. It’s my OH’s first day in his new job so I don’t want to tell him. I’ve had no bleeding in this pregnancy at all so feeling very worried

@Fullofconfusion sorry to hear you’re feeling worried. Can you give your community midwife a call? She might be able to offer some reassurance. Sending you a big hug, I know how worried you must feel x

Thanks @Jade3110

I’m going to ring on my lunch break. Currently trying to get my head stuck into work to forget about it and calm down.

I also had a LLETZ procedure previously. This was prior to both my previous pregnancies and I was never given an internal scan. My midwife last time around did say that I may need extra monitoring but nothing ever came of it.
I’m still full of cold and have been for a week so feeling very congested. I can sympathise with the feeling like you’ve been punched in the nose! Plus nothing you can really take for it

@Fullofconfusion its so hard to forget about it isn’t it though, let us know how you get on!

Oh really! I had the internal scan when I was pregnant with my son too. Maybe it’s because I’m under the consultant for other reasons they picked up on it as an extra or maybe it varies between trusts.

Rang EPAU and have been advised to wait until scan tomorrow. Midwife was very kind and said they don’t worry about pink discharge as it’s probably just irritation or a tiny bleed on the cervix. To call back if turns bright red or severe pain.

Now I have to try to put it to the back of my mind which is of course never easy. Roll on scan time tomorrow although I am dreading it at the same time

Good luck for tomorrow. Your midwife is kind of right.

With my bleed i had nothing prior to it, just got home and there was bright red blood everywhere like a massacre which was terrifying. I cried and screamed because i was so scared. I cried to the midwife on the phone like literally unable to breathe cry because i couldnt control it. I went for a scan the next day. It was a SCH and that happened 2 days after my dating scan. It seems anything is possible in pregnancy.

Im so sorry you're so worried. Thinking of you for tomorrow💐

My bleeding has completely stopped and so have the little movements, im just thinking its because im so early still that theyre intermittent.

Roll on the 30th😅

Sorry ive been so quiet we had a 4 day mini break in the uk to hopefully clear our minds!

@Fullofconfusion sorry you experienced a scare this morning not idea at all 😩 like others have said and your midwife I think pink spotting is most likely nothing.

In relation to the lletz procedure, you should be booked in with a consultant before 20wks who will look at the information from your procedure. The need for a scan is dependent upon the amount taken away.. if you do need a scan you will be referred for one where they will measure your cervix and ensure all is fine for carrying baby. Even if it did come back short they would put a stitch in place to protect and you’d need to rest. So I don’t think the lletz would have caused anything at this stage!! It’s more a problem as baby gets much bigger and weight is becoming significant.

Keep us updated tomorrow. I hope you manage to relax a little tonight but know how hard realistically that will now be!