Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

Yay! Congratulations! 💕💕💕 what a relief! And welcome to the boy baby mama club haha xx

I'll explain about my work situation shortly, just didn't want to bang on about it while people were waiting on scan news etc xx

Huge congratulations @LER2023!!! So pleased for you, I hope it was an amazing experience and you find some time to celebrate your news! 😊

I feel in a right pickle with work. They don't like people working from home coz they're old school. But on Friday the office absolutely stank and they said it's coz there's a dead rat in the ceiling just rotting away...

It knocked me sick and then I googled and it said it can be dangerous if pregnant coz you're inhaling toxins it's releasing.

They don't know I'm pregnant yet but I told one of the bosses it was making me feel ill and he sort of laughed at me like I'm a total snowflake.

DP said to just leave and work from home but I'm nervous of annoying them so my anxiety was through the roof, I just shut my door and tried to avoid the stench.

I'm not the only one bothered by it but they don't seem to take it seriously and said they'll forward it on to the landlord who also doesn't seem to care.

I think I need to tell them I need to work from home till it's sorted but I don't really have a great reason till they know I'm pregnant and have had previous losses etc. So do you think I should just tell them in an email and it get over with? Coz at least when they know I have rights and protection of them having to make reasonable adjustments, and if they fire me or get peed off about it they don't have a leg to stand on legally xx

I think its definitely a time to mention to your line manager so they can make those adjustments for your health and babys!

They wont have a leg to stand on if you was to mention you are pregnant. So definitely speak to them and see what their response is.

Thanks. I'm just terrified. I've taken this job coz it was more money, less stress and closer to home but it's really rough round the edges whereas I've come from quite a woke, high flying city job. So no HR, no line manager. Just the two boss men who are two tradesmen who started a business rather than any professional type managerial experience etc. Makes things tricky. I think they'll be annoyed if I refuse to work in the office till the problem is solved but my baby is more important than what they think of me.

Congratulations on your little boy @LER2023

I'd tell them too @CloudsInMyCoffee09 I get it might be awkward but it would give you some protection.

Thanks. Do you think it's ok to say I need to work from home till it's sorted? I'm fine telling them I'm pregnant, it's this horrible rat issue that I'm worried about x

Absolutely!! You shouldnt have to justify why you're working from home really.

Just say 'i dont feel safe in this envrionment, for mine and babys health im working from home until further notice'

Absolutely, with one of my miscarriages I had to permission to work at home for as long as I needed as I was struggling with sickness and fatigue. This was extended beyond the pregnancy when I miscarried as it was the run up to Christmas and parties and I wasn't feeling particularly festive. I ended up working from home from the beginning of November until returning in January

Hi ladies! 👋
Looking for a bit of a handhold. I was doing quite well with my anxiety and then yesterday it took a nose dive again! I went to the toilet in the afternoon and wiped to find a small amount of brown discharge. It sent my head into a spin and I absolutely convinced myself that it’s the start of another miscarriage. I’m 16 weeks today which feels like a bit of a milestone but not felt any movement just yet so that isn’t helping my constant anxiety either! I’m having regular scans through the rainbow clinic but don’t have another one until the 19th June. I barely slept last night because of all the anxiety. It’s just so difficult trying to work through it and remain positive 😔 xx

Ive been having brown discharge since 13 weeks, im now 16 week and 2 days.
Im currently sat in the EPAU waiting room waiting for a doctor to check me over. Every scan ive had baby has been fine, but ita going to be nice to not have to wear pads all the time, so im mainly getting checked out for my SCH or even an infection.

It can happen, try not to worry about it! X

Thank you for sharing your experience! It does seem that it’s quite common for many women. I just think that my anxiety is spiralling and then things like this really don’t help. It’s like climbing a mountain getting through this pregnancy and all the worries that come with it!

I haven’t been to get checked for mine as it was only a very small amount when I wiped and just the one instance of it so I’m thinking I’ll just see how I go. If I get more then I’ll definitely head to EPU.

Hopefully it’s a quick visit there for you and all is absolutely fine ❤️

Its definitely a hard bump to run into to be honest.

You want everything to be 100% but your brain stops thinking that when theres bleeding involved. Well ive been sat here for 3 hours and nobodys actually bothered. So makes you wonder really whether its that important😅

I hope you are both doing ok.
Do you have your 16 week midwife appointments coming up?
My midwife checked the heartbeat at my 16 week appointment and that helped me settle a bit. I know not all midwives will check at 16 week though

Did you eventually get seen? You can wait for so long in those places, it’s awful!

Hope everyone is OK 💕

We've got a private scan tomorrow evening so my mind is eased ahead of 16 week midwife appointment on Friday and holiday next week!

I've started planning bedrooms and names etc now which is exciting but then I start panicking that I shouldn't xx

You absolutely should! Enjoy your pregnancy as much as possible, we won’t get these months back. As scared as I am and I’m not ready to make any big purchases I’m enjoying window shopping.

I felt baby for the first time last night, happened a few times before I realised it was her I was feeling 🩷🩷 I can’t wait until it becomes more often and I get reassurance from feeling her move xx

Those first few movements are just so precious! ❤️ How many weeks are you? I’m 16 weeks today and haven’t felt anything yet but I do have anterior placenta so I think it might be a while before I feel any kicks xx

I’m 17+2. I was so excited I phoned my husband who was downstairs to tell him I could feel her. With my son I couldn’t feel him move until much later, the first time I felt him kick you could see where he was kicking. Xx

After 4 hours, with high blood pressure😅

I was finally allowed to go to work😂

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 our baby name is set in stone now! We just need to finish his bedroom😁

Good luck at your scan! Let us know how you get on x

Thanks everyone 💕 you're right, we need to enjoy it as much as we can.

@pumpkinspice13 That's lovely news! 🥰 I think I've felt movement but I'm not sure yet, I'm only 15+5 so a bit early... maybe just gas or something 😅 but I swear I felt a flutter when I was at yoga the other night! Xx

I can totally relate to how difficult you’re finding it to get prepared and excited! I’m 16 weeks and we have still only told a handful of family members. It feels really real and expectant when you tell people and even more so when you start to get organised and buy things. From previous experience of having a loss at 37 weeks, we were so ready for Niamh to be born and had absolutely everything for her. That’s something that we’d do for all of our babies so you should definitely allow that excitement in from time to time. It shows just how much you love your little one already! ❤️

Good luck with your scan today @CloudsInMyCoffee09! 💐

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 good luck today
@LER2023 was everything ok in the end? Apart from your sanity of course!
@HLouise94 I’ve bled from 6-13w and again at 16, all was fine everytime, I know it’s hard but bleeding is really common. It can be cervical irritation, tiny blood vessels popping due to pressure going the loo, subchronic hematomas, fibroids etc. At 16w it’s MUCH more likely to be one of those things than it is a MC. The increased blood flow around your womb also has a lot to answer for!

I saw the consultant yday - she listened to the heartbeat for me which was great, feeling abit more at ease. she did say my bleed last week is unlikely to have been my fibroid but doesn’t know what it is, I just I hope it’s not the placenta 😩

I have midwife this week too then going to try and hang on until 20week scan on the 23rd as best I can. I have extra scans from 30 weeks to check growth/keep an eye on placenta due to bleeding, they can’t offer any additional between now and 30 though so I’ll have to have a few private no doubt.

We have a girls name agreed on but not a boys and I bought a fluffy all in one suit thing but it’s still in the box, I darent look at it!

My bump disappears in the morning and I get abit of a ‘had a big tea’ bloat in the evening but I’ve still not got to a point where people can really tell!

trying to just plod on until the scan really xx
Hope everyone ok xx