Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

Hi, it's so good to hear from you all and good to know we're all just about hanging in there! 💕

@Superscientist gosh that sounds so stressful, sorry you had to deal with that! I'm mainly hoping I can cling on to this job, despite it being incredibly frustrating, until I go on mat leave - then I can work out what I want to do when I return to work. I had a year off with my DS but definitely won't be able to afford that this time around due to lack of even statutory mat pay!

@LER2023 I've also popped! But I can't tell how much of it is baby vs bloat vs pasties and noodles I ate when I felt sick for three months 😅I'm looking forward to just rocking a bump instead of trying to hide it!

@Fullofconfusion I had a private NIPT at ten weeks. It all came back low risk and I told the consultant at my 12 week scan - she said there's no need to do the NHS testing as the NIPT is more accurate, so we skipped that but still had the scan.

I hope the time goes quickly for anyone waiting for scans! 13 days till mine now but it feels way too long and I'm actually thinking of booking one for this week...

I think my worry is compounded by the fact that Monday 26th is the due date of my first loss. I went to pieces about it this morning because my DS was born a week early, so in theory we'd likely have that baba in our arms now. Then I feel guilty for being so sad about it when I have current baby to love and look forward to. It's such an emotionally messy time! xx

Hi all

15w scan today - all good, it was a really lovely experience given I was so worried about doing it privately. Lady was an nhs midwife and sonographer and she did a full anatomy check too, so feel MILES better today - 30 mins and so thorough!
Got some nice pics, heard heartbeat and saw baby wiggiling about with its hands by its face/under its chin. Finally told people today too which was really nice

I think its crazy how we've gone from AHHHHH THE TEST IS POSITIVE WHAT AM I GOING TO DO! To omg ive hit the second trimester, what am i going to do🤣🤣

I know im going crazy thinking that im now in my second trimester. Waiting for the energy to kick in. It did a little bit last night when i was wide awake at 9pm😅
Feeling that today though, i feel exhausted!

@Xwx1010 the private clinic I go to is also by an ex-midwife, and I have found the same! So thorough and actually better than the NHS ones too. It’s the only time we have heard the heartbeat - EPAC showed it flickering away, but there is something reassuring hearing it and being told it’s how it’s meant to sound etc!

Thanks @CloudsInMyCoffee09 and @BellabubbleI’m hoping to have the private NIPT at just over 10 weeks so NHS scan should be after that and I’ll let them know the results if I have them by then.

My symptoms seem to have settled a bit the last couple of days. I was exhausted and feeling very nauseous mid/late afternoon but I’m only feeling a bit tired now. I’m quite glad about that as we go on holiday next week and I’d like to enjoy lying by the pool rather than feeling sick!

@CloudsInMyCoffee09significant dates always hit the hardest. I hope you’re ok and have something nice planned for the day to help you get through. My previous pregnancy’s “birth” date (medical management termination due to medical reasons) was 24/06 and I’m not sure how I’m going to feel on the day. His due date was 24/10 and I struggled massively. I’m hoping I can remember it as a bittersweet memory of getting to meet him rather than a terribly sad one of loss. I think the hope of carrying another one helps a little.

@Xwx1010so glad your scan went well

@Bellabubble good luck at your scan today 💕

Thanks @Fullofconfusion - it's bank holiday Monday so I'm off work with my DS and my DP has taken the day off work so we can have a day out together so that will be lovely as we very rarely have days off together at the moment.

Glad you're feeling a bit better! And totally jealous that you're going to sit by a pool! 😅Sounds like bliss!

I think I'm going to try book a spa day at some point and a pregnancy massage! xx

I feel this! My due date from my miscarriage would be the 14th June and I’m very much in the “I should be going on mat leave now” mindset at the minute. I’m 15+2 now, feel in limbo now until I either feel some movements or have the next midwife appointment and scan. I thought I felt a bit of something last week but haven’t since so can’t help but think something is wrong. I also keep seeing one magpie which I know is silly but I feel like it’s an omen! It’s so funny isn’t it, you think “oh I’ll feel better after the scan” and you do for a bit but then the anxiety creeps back in 😫

Thanks @CloudsInMyCoffee09

I have two people in my life that had the same due dates as me. One was a work colleague and I possibly would have missed out on redundancy if I had been as I would have gone on mat leave during the consultation period. I'm not sure the company would have liked those optics.
My childhood friend is due a couple of weeks after I would have been in July.

The first date was hard as redundancy was still new and I wasn't sure where this pregnancy was going. I'm trying to be pragmatic now that I'm a bit further along that is the baby I'm meant to have.

Sainsbury's have a 20% off clothing at the moment, I had a look at some baby clothes but couldn't bring myself to buy any. I told myself that I need to check what clothes I have left from my daughter that are suitable but still doesn't feel quite real. I'm 21 weeks now and getting more regular movements but still feel like I'm holding my breath.

@CloudsInMyCoffee09 thank you - it all went well :) little lady was very active but not laying the right way for measurements, so I had to do some star jumps 🤦🏼‍♀️ I was brought forward by 2days so 26th Nov is now my EDD - but my daughter was 10days late so I don’t have much faith in EDD’s lol!

They still did my screening - so I’ll be intrigued to see what they come back as, if it is high risk - they will offer the nipt but seeing as we already had it, I don’t know if we would do it again!

@Bellabubble aw glad your scan went well! Remember if it comes back high you still don't need to worry! You already have the nipt results so these ones are a bit pointless and might cause you unnecessary stress. I'm surprised they still did them tbh! Remember the nipt is more accurate so it doesn't matter what these less good ones say, and you definitely don't need to put yourself through another nipt and the waiting that goes with it 😅 xx

I’ve finally got a booking in appointment. I’ll be 9 weeks and 6 days by my reckoning. It will be when we’re back from holiday so will try not to worry too much until then

aw have a lovely holiday @Fullofconfusion - hopefully it will be a good distraction from the waiting 💕

So, I caved and booked a private scan for Sunday evening. I don't think I can face Monday without knowing if baby is ok in there.

Also, I randomly threw my guts up again last night - not sure where that came from! xx

Hi ladies, I’m kinda laying low as it’s so stressful waiting for this 12w scan. I am 10+2 today.. I’m getting more and more nervous as the weeks go on and I thought it would be the other way that I got more and more confident things would be okay. It’s almost like I can feel the hope inside me building but the fear of my heart being broken and things not being okay again causes so much worry.

Not sure if I can hold out until my 12w without a scan but I am trying since the comfort lasts a few days at most. It would be nice if I could wait until it least the 11w mark as I’m sure I read the odds are pretty much the same at 11-12w anyway. Definitely noticed my symptoms improving in terms of food and nausea but still taking Xonvea. I know it can be normal at this point in time so not fixating on that too much. I actually appreciate being in work as I’m so busy and it’s providing a distraction the idea of a long weekend actually makes me nervous as I know I’ll be doing a lot of thinking!

Don’t blame you @CloudsInMyCoffee09 I hope the scan goes well and will be thinking of you Sunday and Monday. Let us know how things go!

@Fullofconfusion wont be too long after that for the 12w scan either, hopefully time flies and you can keep yourself busy!

Pleased it seems like everyone else is getting on okay. It’ll be nice for some of yous in the 2nd trimester shortly as hopefully movement will start! Then I’m sure the worry shifts from scans to counting kicks/monitoring movement.

aw @KT199 I really feel for you. Just do what ever will make you feel a bit better. I thought I'd have no problem waiting three weeks for a 16w, or that it was manageable after the 12/13w scan at least scan but told my DP that I'm taking it a day at a time and if my sanity needs another scan before that then we just need to go with it - as long as it doesn't become a weekly obsession!

And yes, I'm waiting for movement so I feel reassured but I know already that i'll be worrying about that instead. I guess at least when you're that far along the hospital will get you straight in if you think there's reduced movement.

Hang in there, and if you feel you need an extra scan to get by, go for it ❤ xxx

Thanks @CloudsInMyCoffee09 my husband is supportive but I did tell him I was gonna wait until my 12w scan as it’s literally on the day I’m due to be 12w, if it was 13w or something I would have had a private at 12w. He’s not bothered either way and is supportive if I say I want another scan but like you don’t want to be there every week. It’ll have been almost 3w between my last scan and 12w one which feels like such a long time and is the reason I have a feeling I might cave in the middle of next week. 2w feels like a stretch for my own sanity🤣. But there is a part of me that thinks I’m wasting money that could be put to good use in a few months providing all is well because it’s £80 for reassurance until the end of the day 😂 then I wake up the following morning wondering again.

Hopefully you’ll start to feel movement soon. Have they confirmed your placenta position? At my last scan she actually showed me mine and the cord and said things can change but the current direction of growth suggests it will be posterior. I was mind blown to have that info so early on!

Hey, hope everyone is doing well. I had a scan the other day and found out I’m having a girl.I feel like I have so much more energy the last few days. I keep having nightmares that are waking me in the night and keeping me awake so I’m glad for the extra energy. No scan now for 2 weeks but I have the midwife on Wednesday so I’m hoping she can find babies heart beat to give me some reassurance.

Good luck for Sunday @CloudsInMyCoffee09 will be thinking of you!

@Xwx1010 so glad your scan went well, sounds like you had a lovely experience.

well guys as ever, after good news in the week I had another stressful day today! Nearly 16w and Had a gush of red going the toilet and spent the day in hospital being checked. Had a pretty horrendous cervical exam and finally got a scan - baby ok. They’ve no idea what caused it today but think my fibroid may be degenerating. Anyway just wanted to share incase anyone has similar and hopefully it can provide a little reassurance xx

hope everyone else is ok xx

Hope you are doing ok! Sounds very upsetting and stressful. Are they going to get you back in to keep an eye on you? Hope you are being well looked after xx

Oh god @Xwx1010 I'm sorry you've been through such stress and upset. It sounds awful 😞 so glad baby is OK though and I hope you're alright, taking it easy and being well looked after 💕

Thanks ladies.

@Pumpkinspice13 ahhhhh a baby girl, how lovely 💖
I’ve also had extra energy, still need to nap sometimes and get the odd nauseous day but starting to feel human again! Also having vivid dreams most nights, might be the heat too. Hope midwife appt goes well on weds.
mines week after next! Xx

@KT199 hope you can keep busy until your next scan, I get really tetchy when 3 weeks have passed.

anyone else in the anterior placenta club 🥲 !?

I am @Xwx1010 I'm nearly 22 weeks but already getting quite a few movements. Movements started around the same time as with my daughter so they were possibly harder to spot in the early days.
I think my placenta is on my left hand side as most of the movements I feel are on the right.

Sorry you had a rough day, I'm glad that baby is doing ok

Happy I found this thread. I joined a normal due date one last year, but sadly had to leave due to TFMR for a trisomy. Then followed a miscarriage at almost 9 weeks.

im now 14 weeks this time around, and grateful to have found this supportive thread . Anxiety terrible this time . No scan or test result seems to put my mind at rest !

all the very best to all of you x

@JenJennie1985 welcome, hope you’re feeling ok? So sorry to hear about your past losses.
How was your 12w scan x

Welcome @JenJennie1985, sorry to hear about your past losses. Hope you are getting the support you need!x

Welcome @JenJennie1985
I'm sorry for your losses, I hope this pregnancy goes ok for you x