Due November after loss

[CloudsInMyCoffee09]

Hi there,
I've started this thread so that mamas who have similar due dates following a previous loss or losses have somewhere to chat and feel supported.

I've been on a November due date thread but I feel there's a huge difference in the mindset of people who have experienced loss and those who haven't - which makes total sense!

We have different worries and milestones to make it past etc, so please join if you need somewhere to chat, rant, vent, or share your worries.

Pregnancy is an anxious time as it is without having previous trauma to contend with. Is it just me, or has all the joy been sucked out of the experience?

Hi ladies,
Do you mind if I join you?
I’m not a November due date, I’m actually due early January but as some of you have already mentioned, the due date threads are all full of excitement and I’m currently full of apprehension and at time just pure fear!

I had a termination for medical reasons last June at 22 weeks. My little one had a heart condition that wasn’t picked up until the 20 week scan. It was honestly the worst time of my life and I’m petrified of reliving that nightmare again. We had also had a high result at the 12 week screening scan and needed to go back for a NIPT which was all low risk so the idea of going for a scan fills me with dread.

I’m currently 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant according to my app. I tracked ovulation as my cycles are longer than the standard 28 days at around 33-35 so I guess I’d be further along if I went by my LMP date.

With my daughter I only gained just over a stone in total. I lost about half a stone in the first trimester and a little bit more in the third due to hyperemesis. I was 20 odd weeks before i was above my pre pregnancy weight and I was back at it by 10 days post partum. Baby was 6lb13 at birth (38+6 weeks) which was 60th percentile on my chart so a pretty good weight!

My 20 weeks with my second and have put on about half a stone. This is the first pregnancy I haven't lost weight in the first trimester but I didn't gain any either. It's fairly common to lose weight or roughly maintain your weight for the first trimester then slowly start gaining as you progress through the second trimester.

I've found this site helpful for gauging if I'm gaining enough. If it's helpful for my weight and height expected weight gain at 12 weeks would have been 1-4lb
www.calculator.net/pregnancy-weight-gain-calculator.html

@Superscientist cool - I’ll check that out! I think what threw me is that last time I could barely eat as I had so many food aversions lol. I did force myself - but it was my normal breakfast and lunch that I had to spread out and nibble at it over the day then evenings I could barely eat anything as I felt so ill (although I am forever grateful I wasn’t actually sick - just constantly felt like I was about to) Whereas this time, I have still eaten as normal but have definitely managed more dinners that last time and yet nothing so of course my mind went to the worst 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️ I will get better as the weeks go by (I keep telling myself this to make sure I start to believe it all!) x

@Fullofconfusion Welcome! Gentle congratulations on your pregnancy. I’m sorry to hear about what you you went through last year. I can’t imagine having to make that decision, that must have been an incredibly difficult time for you. Wishing you lots of luck with this pregnancy, I hope you are getting the love and support you need xx

Brilliant news @Bellabubble

Wish all you ladies having scans this week lots of luck, I will be thinking of you ❤️❤️

There's a few of us on here with non-November due dates, so welcome!

I'm ahead and am 20 weeks tomorrow, due at the end of September. I'm sorry to hear you had a heart condition identified at the 20 week scan that must have been so difficult and make the anxious wait of early pregnancy so much harder. Will they be able to do any further checks this time around?

Thank you for the welcome and tentative congratulations.

@Superscientistwe had genetic testing after our TFMR which showed that neither of us carry any genetic abnormalities and that unfortunately it was just super unlucky that our baby did, so that brings some reassurance. However we should also be offered an additional heart scan at (I think) 16 weeks to check that this baby doesn’t carry the same genetic issue. Once I get to that point I feel like I’ll be able to breathe a little bit.

Fingers crossed for anyone with a scan or appointment this week. I hope it’s all good news

Scared to death... bright red blood on my pad. Had to ring triage got a scan tomorrow at 2.30 to check up on baby.

No SCH found at 12 week scan.. so no bloody clue!

Ow @LER2023 I really hope all is well with baby. If the bleeding becomes heavy, head straight to your EPU. Try rest as much as you can until your scan tomorrow. ❤️❤️

@LER2023I hope all is well with baby. Thinking of you both. Definitely rest as much as you can

Thinking of you @LER2023 x

That's good you know that it's not linked to you or your husband and that you will get that early scan to check the heart before the long wait for the 20 week scan. If it's any comfort my uncle was born in a congenital heart defect but my mum and auntie that came along afterwards were ok. In this case they suspect it was due to my gran contracting rubella in pregnancy but it was the 50s so there wasn't any investigation into the cause.

I know how hard this is, no SCH for me seen at the 6 or 8 week scan. Seen at 10 but not 12… easier said than done but keep hopeful,chances are baby is fine. Sending big hand hold and thinking of you tomorrow x

Just seen this @LER2023 🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️. Wishing you all the best x

Just seen this too @ler2023 sending you lots of love. I hope you and baby are both OK 💕 what time is your scan today? Will be thinking of you xx

@LER2023 thinking of you and senfing you all my positive thoughts! I have had 2 friends that had bleeding on and off throughout their pregnancy (one had a fybroid, the other they never found why) but both have happy, healthy 4yr olds now x

Its so difficult after a loss to see bleeding. When i went to the toilet and saw it yesterday and just kept shouting for my partner while in tears.
He's worried sick, im terrified, ive not gone into work today, still no pain, only discomfort when i pee, think theres definitely a UTI present.
Been up since 6 and trying to get back to sleep with no avail.
Its not gotten any heavier, just stayed the same. Fingers crossed at 2.30 we find out whats happening and that baby is safe! They were on friday so surely should be today!🫠

We havent told anyone about the bleeding ive told my manager so i could have the day off to put my feet up and not strain myself which is so difficult!!🙃

Thinking of you @LER2023 - keeping everything crossed for 2:30 x

The blood has turned brown, still doing my progesterone which last night was bright red and this morning doing the progesterone it was brown, so im hoping thats a good sign.
Still keeping the scan, im not cancelling it! Im hoping all is ok and its just a cervical thing and not a baby thing, so fingers crossed!

Can I please join? Currently 15+2 I’m due 1st Nov 25. Feeling so much anxiety due to previous losses, even though I’ve had a scan I can’t help but worry that baby now isn’t ok. I’m planning a private scan this week to relieve some anxiety. Not sure how I managed to stay so calm last time with my son. I don’t remember being this anxious.

I hope everything goes okay today @LER2023 got my fingers crossed for you.

Thanks everyone for the advice in relation to when you all had early scans. I’ve moved mine to today, so 2 weeks after my last and day before my booking appointment so I know I’m not attending that for no reason. Got my fingers crossed everything is okay, my sickness has definitely subsided over the weekend and you never know if it just a good few days or it’s a bad sign! Early pregnancy is so rough mentally after a bad experience!

Sickness comes and goes, mine completely went at week 9 after having a horrendous time in week 7! But then its hit and miss on some days even at 13 weeks!
Is it your first appointment with the midwife? Im sure all will be ok! My midwife was fantastic and said because of my previous losses she was sending me for a scan the same day for reassurance. Possibly ask if you can see the EPAU for a scan! No harm in asking its just because of previous experiences that you need that reasurrance!
I told my midwife i refused to see her on the 3rd pregnancy because i always miscarried shortly after seeing her and that she was a bad omen!🤣

She said have you had bleeding? I went i had some at week 4 that lasted maybe a few hours and it was brown so i wasnt worried and i havent bled since, she went right well you've been bleeding lets send you for a scan🤣

Hopefully all goes ok at your scan and appointment! Let us know how you get on x

Thinking of you today @LER2023 Counting down the minutes with you!

Welcome beanie! Good luck with your scan this week! Xx

Thinking of you @LER2023 , keeping everything crossed for a positive scan this afternoon!