9 months pregnant and having severe health anxiety

[AprilBaby2025]

I am 31F and 9 months pregnant. I do have severe health anxiety (and OCD) and have basically spent the last many years worried about some sort of disease or condition. But that doesn’t make me immune to cancer.

But this time, I am so scared that I can’t get out of bed, I keep walking back and forth saying “this can’t be happening” and I even peed myself from the anxiety (not the pregnancy). I get like 2 hours a night of sleep.

I have melanoma and I know it.

I did have a long stint of melanoma obsessions back in 2020. It lasted basically until 2022. I was obsessing over every mole I had. Never went to get any checked out though due to my intense fear of doctors. I have a lot of large moles and just lots of moles in general. It’s genetic - both of my parents are very moley people with lots of different looking moles.

I have about 3 moles that are 1cm. One of them is under my boob, about 2 inches below my nipple. It’s in such an odd place so I never saw it before I started my mole obsession in 2020. So I have no idea when it actually started growing!! But in 2020, most of the mole was ever so slightly raised with an off centre portion that was just slightly more raised. It was/is 2 shades of brown (which is very common for my moles). I tracked this mole and my other moles for about 1.5 years. Never noticed any changes in it (and I took thousands of pictures comparing them). I moved on to another worry and didn’t really worry about my moles much since then.

A few days ago, I was obsessed about some pregnancy related skin thing so was over analyzing my stomach all day. Then I came across the boob mole again. I noticed that one part may have looked redder (although in hindsight this was likely just the lighting). But it made me analyze that mole again and it has CHANGED! The middle part that was slightly raised became slightly more raised and the entire mole became slightly more raised and “puffier”. Then I compared it to photos I took years ago, and although the mole looks fairly similar, it’s definitely a bit more raised and there’s one part of the boarder where it looks like one skin cell has darkened if that makes sense. And the centre raised portion looks like it’s now covering just slightly more of the mole. And another part of the boarder that looks like it is now slightly indented by like 1 cell. And a couple of teeny tiny black dots on the perimeter (this may have been there before, it’s hard to tell by the pictures).

I don’t know when these changes started. I have some really bad quality photos of it from exactly 1 year ago, and I don’t think it looks really different from the photos taken in 2020. But it could have just been very very slow change. I do remember briefly looking at the mole in June but I don’t know what I discovered. I may have been worried about it for like a minute back then?. I don’t know if I saw big change then. It could have started changing before pregnancy, I don’t know!

And I am 10000000% convinced I have melanoma. I know I do. That’s literally the only explanation for this. And even if it’s not, it’s by far the most likely explanation. And I know a lot of people have seen changes in “moles” but it turned out to not even be a mole. This one is definitely a mole. And on top of that, it’s a big mole and it’s raised which means the melanoma is no longer in situ and has penetrated deeper. I don’t even know when this mole started growing! I definitely had it 5 years ago but it looked similar to how it does now back then (just a bit less raised), so it likely started growing long before then.

My husband says he never noticed anything obvious with the mole (he sees it more than I do). But when comparing photos, it is obvious. The mole is puffier and more raised. And there’s only 1 hair growing out of it, near the edge.

I am about to give birth any day now and I am not even looking forward to meeting my daughter. I am so mad I didn’t see the mole appear when it did or see a doctor about it 4 years ago. It’s advanced at this stage (definitely at least a stage 2 but likely later).

I see my GP this week. I am literally paralyzed. I can’t get out of bed, I can’t eat, I spend all day crying and having meltdowns. I don’t even want to meet my daughter. I’m worried the doctor will look at the mole and be very concerned, which will make me worried more if that’s even possible.

I’ve read scientific papers and every website you can think of. There is NO WAY this mole is not melanoma.

Help. Any reassurance? How can I possibly get through the waiting period while enjoying life? This IS melanoma I just have to try to accept it and hope it’s not too late but it probably is. I can’t believe this is happening.

This isn’t about the supposed melanoma. This is about your anxiety about being a mother. You’re terrified of it so your unconscious has created a scenario where you never have to be one, because you’re convinced you’ll die. The important bit of your post is “I don’t want to meet my daughter”, not “my mole is XYZ”. You need more than the occasional pill - you need some heavy-duty psychiatric help.

Btw, your worries about Sertraline (Zoloft) are completely unfounded, even more so than your beliefs about your mole. I and millions of women have taken Sertraline throughout their pregnancies with absolutely no ill effects on the baby whatsoever. My DC is a completely normal, healthy child with no issues whatsoever.

I suffer severely with health anxiety, so I totally get you, however I had a mole on my jaw and it pregnancy it grew, itched and got bigger!!!!

it was absolutely fine.

OP, kindly, (I have only skim read your thread, however got the gist of it) you do not know that you have cancer.
Many changes happen during pregnancy, including changes to moles. You absolutely cannot diagnose yourself without the relevant medical qualification.
What you can however do, is take the Zoloft. It is commonly used in pregnancy, and safe, and the baby won’t have withdrawals. The anxiety of this level however, will have a negative impact on you, the baby, and your general well-being as a family.
Please be kind to yourself and treat the real issue, not the one you catastrophised to. But also, do get the mole checked - that will help settle your anxiety.

I have lost my mum to cancer very recently, and very prematurely, and the best thing you can do, is treat the symptoms and your mental health. But also don’t wait to get cancer, if you’re concerned see a medical professional, not google or Mumsnet.

Sending you a hug, as I can see how distressed you feel.

Report your OP to MNHQ and ask them to change the title of your thread.

I agree entirely with this post op.

And both moles but, more particularly, breasts change in pregnancy. Your breasts will be swelling which makes anything on the breast skin alter.

You might or you might not have melanoma but we can’t tell you either way and a doctor can. See them asap ( mostly to reassure you) and also mention your anxiety, which is palpable in your post. ITS QUITE POSSIBLY FINE!

OP I really hope the thread has helped you. I know what it’s like to have this kind of health anxiety and how all-consuming it is. I have been SURE I was dying of a heart attack. Nice out-of-hours GP spotted my health anxiety a mile off, did all the checks and calmed me down. It wasn’t anything, but I had been completely convinced.

My anxiety also got worse during pregnancy and when you combine that with all the physical changes it can cause it’s a recipe for disaster. But now I’m on low dose venlafaxine and it’s so so much better. You don’t have to go through life suffering like this - please keep trying to get support because it can be fixed.

To add to the mole stories, my friend had one that had all the signs - growing, changing colour and shape, itching and crusting, the lot. She was quickly referred and sent for tests - it wasn’t a melanoma. It was fine and calmed down. She’s still here 25 years on. Of course we need to know the signs and get things checked but it doesn’t mean the signs necessarily do indicate a problem.

Sending you a big (((hug))) and best wishes for the birth and the future

OP as Im sure you probably know on a lot of levels this is OCD. And quite possibly this post is reassurance seeking which you know isn’t helpful.

Practically speaking yes go to a doctor to have your skin checked. It’s something IMO that everyone should be doing anyway. I do it all the time as do many people I know. Just do it. Book the appointment & explain about the miles, that you are heavily pregnant & see if they can give you a booking asap. Until then work on the anxiety.

As much as I don’t blame them, people upset by your posts don’t fully understand how bad OCD can get, and what the anxiety feels like. I’ve been there I get it. I’ve also had all the therapy a lot specific to OCD (although not health anxiety) so I understand the thought pattern and the cycles of rumination.

You are in a vulnerable place right now. Take care of yourself, it sounds like the medical professionals are aware of where you are at and that obviously good. If you need to pick up the phone to them & explain your anxiety is really bad and that you are worried about moles do that.

You need to get a handle on this for you, your baby & your husband.

Congratulations btw!

You have OCD.
get CBT therapy now.
Pay private if you have to but this won’t go away.

OP has literally said in her first post that she's seeing a doctor this week

You’re 1000% sure? Wow so you have access to a histology lab / microscope and you have the necessary training to have not only cut out a sample but study it under the microscope and determine the nature of the mole and diagnosed it? You should have put in your OP that you’re a histopathologist!

Sorry for the sarcasm but you get my point. What is the point of histopathologists if all drs need to do is go by the patients’ own self diagnoses

Unfortunately my mole does match that criteria IMO. I do have several other moles the same size, but this mole also has the other features too and it’s more raised than the other big moles I have. And has a centre part that’s very raised.

Moles change in pregnancy. Get yourself checked out by a specialist. Get mole mapping done if you have lots of them.

Moles change in pregnancy. THIS is by far the most likely explanation. The signs you describe aren't actually textbook melanoma either, from what you describe it DOESN'T sound like melanoma (I am a very experienced nuse). Melanoma is in most cases graded as stage 0-1, which isn't considered 'advanced cancer', it simply means there are local abnormal cells which can we removed and it hasn't spread.

You absolutely need to speak to your midwife about your healthcare anxiety. I cannot tell you how important this is for you and your baby. It can be all-consuming, and I'm sure you will ignore what I've written above as your health anxiety will make it feel so real that you have cancer. I don't mean to sound unkind but you really really do need help, as soon as possible before birth.

Op you need to calm down - for baby’s sake!

Even in the scenario that it is melanoma - and you DON’T know that it is - many people are successfully treated.

Your baby can sense your anxiety and it may all be for absolutely nothing. Go next week to get checked. For now tell yourself a) it might not be and b) if it is, you will have treatment.

Have a warm drink, put on some relaxing music and lie down. It really might be fine - even if it IS melanoma.

It might match the criteria but that doesn't mean it is malignant. You urgently need more help for your health anxiety. If you're like this about yourself, what will you be like with your baby? You don't want to stifle them growing up because you panic over every little ailment, because there will be a lot of those throughout their childhood. I really don't mean this unkindly, but don't make their life as miserable as yours sounds right now.

I would suggest taking your Zoloft if you are prescribed it. I had it in both of my pregnancies and neither of my babies suffered withdrawal. Interestingly I had severe anxiety at the end of my first pregnancy and the psychiatrist explained that even though I was taking my Zoloft, due to the increased fluid from the pregnancy it was essentially so diluted that it wasn't having much effect anyway. It's important that you are on it for the difficult postpartum period too.

Edit: the psychiatrist recommended I increased my dose at the end of further pregnancies, which I did and definitely benefited from.

To be fair, I (and probably others) read it as the OP has confirmed cancer that is likely advanced.

It's the OP who has confirmed it, not a doctor. She has OCD.

seriously get some professional help for your mental health. And take a moment to think of how your outburst affects people who genuinely have been officially diagnosed with cancer.

Yes. I'm going to hide this thread now because there are actual cancer patients who are pregnant, or who have young families.

Hi everyone, we're just poking our head 'round as we've had quite a few reports about this thread as some posters feel the title is misleading. While we appreciate the concerns here, we have left the title as it is as we feel the opening post gives context very early on to explain why the OP would write the title like this.

If you'd rather not see this thread, please feel free to hide it using the button at the top. In the meantime if there is anything else you'd like us to look at, please do let us know.

Sorry to hijack your thread OP - wishing you all the best.

That one below your breast might not even be a mole. From your description of it, it sounds like it's possible it's a supplementary nipple. They are common and that's just the kind of location they occur. The reason it could have changed is because of pregnancy.

The only thing for you to do is go to your doctor, get all your moles checked and get them to check the one below your breast that you are concerned about. It's likely they will reassure you. Then please tell them about the anxiety you are experiencing.

Exactly.

You can report your OP to MN and ask them to change it for you, if you want.

I have a mole like that in my back. Have had for 30 years. Fleshy, various colours,often changes because it gets rubbed by my rucksack. Still here despite growing up in Australia. Seriously, you do need significant help, but not with your skin. Get help.