Positive test yesterday, Islamic divorce today!

[B9r0kre]

I've been married for 4 and a half years, have a 3 year old daughter and literally found out I'm pregnant with our second yesterday. He accused me of purposely not taking my pills, and that I'd gotten pregnant on purpose. He
packed his things and said he needed a break for a few days (I was pissed off, but fine). He came home this morning and took his tea set, coffee machine, and every single thing he had in the house. Clearly not going for just a few days was he? I started getting upset and trying to make sense of things, and I said "If you walk out that door when I need you the most right now, you can divorce me whilst you're at it." And that was it. He said "Talaq, Talaq, Talaq" (I divorce you × 3), handed back his keys and left. Apparently saying it 3 times is irreversible, and he can't ever come back to me. Just can't believe he's done it a day after finding out I'm pregnant with our second.
He messaged earlier on and said it was ME who told him to divorce me, and that this is on me. Is it? I don't know what's reality and what's not anymore!

I'm still trying to make sense of everything, but feel so hurt that it's that easy to just walk away after everything I've forgiven him for over the years.

It sounds like there’s a much bigger picture here and this may be a blessing in disguise to be honest.

@Mrsttcno1 I think you're right. I've been through so much with him, I'd be here all night listing them.

I think I just need to accept it, and heal!

Look on the bright side, you won't have to accommodate a man child in your life anymore.

Are you married in not just an islamic manner?

You are well rid of this loser.

I smell the suspicious scent of another woman.

Also when two people are having sex pregnancy is always possible even with contraceptives as no contraceptive is 100% effective.

What a horrible man but even if you are divorced he still has to pay for his kids legally.

Are you legally married as well as in Islamic terms? Cos in that case he can say what he wants but the legal system will hold sway. Sort out a proper divorce. He sounds weak and not ready to be a good father. You'll do better without him.

Good riddance. Not even a second thought to the fact that you have to look after both your child in the meantime, while he sulks and sits with his kitchen appliances. Just make sure you know where you stand legally.

Hey everyone!

No, I never married him here in the UK. So it was just Islamically.

He was upset that I'd reported concerns about controlling behaviour to my doctor, and they'd suggested i speak to a dv advisor. So I did, and they came to visit a few weeks back. He wasn't happy, but agreed to make changes and try and build a solid marriage/relationship.

I feel much better already, just hearing some of your responses x

Who owns the house?

@Duckingella Exactly. This is what I said... babies happen when you have sex. I've taken my pills every day, and it's still happened. These things happen! X

So many reg flags?!!

So you're not legally married, who owns the house and what's the financial side of things?

Ok... I've just messaged his mum. Said he's divorced me 3 times, and I'm also pregnant.

Hello beautiful livid about that, because he'll tell me it's none of my business to message his parents. BUT - Am I petty for doing this? I'm livid. I've gone from upset to fuming!

@GrumpyCactus It's rented in both our names. He's already contacted the agency and told them he's left, and to pay the deposit back into his account, not mine, when I leave

Not petty at all. If it's irreversible they'll find out eventually, I'm sure they'll be reassured you've still kept them in the loop about the baby.

It does seem like something bigger is happening...

If you’re not legally married you can go ahead and register your baby’s birth by yourself. If he wants to be added to the birth certificate later on he can go to court. This means he will not have parental responsibility for this child and won’t be entitled to contact or to being consulted about schools, etc. This is particularly important if there is a history of dv.

You will still be entitled to child support from him though, even if he isn’t named on the birth certificate, so make sure you get that set up as soon as your baby is born.

He sounds awful! He couldn't even be bothered discussing it? And what about your first child.

I feel really bad for you. You're better off without him. Do you have any family support close by?

Sorry what? He has a tea set? Like to play 'tea' with?
Also, saying things three times only brings BeetleJuice back.... not legally binding divorce.

Hopefully you have some support and you're able to make the finances work, remember you don't have to leave the flat if you don't want to and can pay the rent and nor does he get to decide they return the deposit money to him and not jointly to both of you.

You can register your new baby alone when they are born but don't forget to make a claim for maintenance from him. Also remember he doesn't have the right to demand to see your children he just has responsibility towards them as their father.

@SuperfluousHen Really insightful information there... I had no idea about this. You've really put me mind at ease and helped a lot of the anxiety. If im doing this alone, he doesn't deserve any credit, at all. X

Embarrassed for you

@eqpi4t2hbsnktd Hahaha no 🤣 a traditional moroccan tea set 🤣

OP wasn’t legally married, only married in a religious sense and if the husband says it three times then, according to OP, in that religion they are irrevocably divorced.