Positive test yesterday, Islamic divorce today!

[B9r0kre]

I've been married for 4 and a half years, have a 3 year old daughter and literally found out I'm pregnant with our second yesterday. He accused me of purposely not taking my pills, and that I'd gotten pregnant on purpose. He
packed his things and said he needed a break for a few days (I was pissed off, but fine). He came home this morning and took his tea set, coffee machine, and every single thing he had in the house. Clearly not going for just a few days was he? I started getting upset and trying to make sense of things, and I said "If you walk out that door when I need you the most right now, you can divorce me whilst you're at it." And that was it. He said "Talaq, Talaq, Talaq" (I divorce you × 3), handed back his keys and left. Apparently saying it 3 times is irreversible, and he can't ever come back to me. Just can't believe he's done it a day after finding out I'm pregnant with our second.
He messaged earlier on and said it was ME who told him to divorce me, and that this is on me. Is it? I don't know what's reality and what's not anymore!

I'm still trying to make sense of everything, but feel so hurt that it's that easy to just walk away after everything I've forgiven him for over the years.

Yes, but the marriage probably wasn't legal here anyway, because at this moment you need to register here on top of an Islamic one.

Assuming you're in the UK, as you're not legally married, you get to unilaterally decide what name to register the baby in. I wouldn't be giving baby his surname, in your circumstances.

He also will have to pay maintenance for the child regardless.

You’re welcome, @B9r0kre
we are all here for you 💕
best wishes xx

@B9r0kre do you mean you only married Islamically in the UK, and not at all anywhere else?

Or do you mean that you married Islamically in a different country, where such marriages may have legal standing?

Because that could possibly change the position as to whether you would be considered legally married in the UK, and so could affect your next steps....

If the marriage was not just a Nikah or you married in an Islamic country through the courts then tough luck for him he needs to divorce you legally in the UK. (I had an Islamic marriage while living in the Gulf and divorced in UK.)

Yes this. If you Islamically married overseas and that marriage was recognised in that country, it is a valid marriage in the UK. In that case, you/he will still have to obtain a valid legal divorce here.

He can marry other wives under Islamic law

She doesn’t need your embarrassment!

The ignorance of some people!

For now take a few breaths and plan your next moves.
CMS claim.
If you think you’ll have trouble getting money from him, or have insufficient funds atm check what benefits you’re entitled to.
Contact council for 25% reduction in council tax, it’ll apply from now.
Make sure you have support.
He’ll not try to get in or be violent in any way?
Look after yourself. 💐

If you can afford to stay in your house I would contact the landlord to tell them you want to remain. Although strictly speaking, if a joint tenant ends a tenancy then it ends for everyone, most landlords are happy to keep the remaining tenants if they can afford the rent still.

He might think he has divorced you but in islam it's not possible to divorce a pregnant woman. He has to wait until you have the baby then divorce. He can say talaq until he turns blue but it's not how it is.

His parents should know what an ass he is being, he wouldn’t want you to tell them so that he can continue to get away with treating you in a not nice manner. Don’t let him get away with this! I was married islamically too.

Op may have been legally married if they married in country where islamic wedding is legal.
Edit, I see all later posts pointing this out loaded.... Soz

Great point.

I think you might need some expertise in Islamic law. I would contact the Muslim Women's Network Helpline for some support. They will help you through this:
https://www.mwnhelpline.co.uk/index.php

From what I can see, the reason he has said that you told him to divorce you (Khula) is because otherwise he has financial responsibility for you until the baby is born. However, because he said the words of the divorce then he is responsible for the divorce and has financial obligations to you until the baby is born. This includes returning your mahr if you had one. In UK law he is still financially responsible for the children until they are at least 18.

You will be considered irrevocably divorced in Islam but if you married someone else then were divorced you can remarry him. (But why would you?).

If your marriage was registered with the Islamic Council then for it to be a proper Talaq he will have to apply for the divorce. Otherwise he could dispute the divorce to prevent you remarrying because there were no witnesses.

A basic overview from https://madrasatelquran.com/rights-of-woman-after-divorce-in-islam:

In Islam, the financial responsibility for a divorced woman depends on the stage of the divorce process and her individual circumstances:

1. During the ‘Iddah (Waiting Period):
2. The ex-husband is financially responsible for the woman during the ‘iddah period. He must provide for her basic needs, including food, shelter, and clothing, unless the divorce was a result of Khula (where the wife initiates the divorce and gives up her financial rights).
3. After the ‘Iddah:
4. Once the ‘iddah period is over, the ex-husband is no longer required to provide financial support for the woman, except in the case where she has custody of their children. In such cases, he remains responsible for child maintenance (nafqa), which includes their living expenses, education, healthcare, etc.
5. Mahr (Dowry):
6. If the divorce is initiated by the husband (Talaq), the woman retains her right to the mahr (dowry), which acts as a form of financial security.

More information is available here though this is from 2016. https://www.mwnuk.co.uk/go_files/resources/MWNU%20Marriage_Divorce%20Report_WEB2.pdf

You have a lot of rights in Islam, so please get some support.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Facing a divorce while carrying the beautiful news of a new life can feel deeply overwhelming and unfair. Please know this is not your faut, his actions reflect his choices, not your worth.

You are stronger than you realize, and this chapter, though painful, will lead to new beginnings. Surround yourself with those who love and support you, and don’t hesitate to seek help from friends, family, or counseling.

Remember, you are creating life. A precious, beautiful journey lies ahead with your child. Take one day at a time, and trust that you’ll come out of this stronger, with love and joy awaiting you in the future. You are not alone. ❤️

I've heard of this ''Islamic divorce'' - I expect many couples say it in anger- but in this instance, to looks like he has done you a favour, @B9r0kre
You and your children deserve far better.

@StormingNorman you seem to take great delight on going on threads, saying something deliberately unhelpful and critical and then just leaving 🙄

Did you get married in another country?

The rubbish has taken itself out.
Result

Are you sure you want to continue with this pregnancy? (forgive me for asking) Not sure that I would, in the circumstances.

I agree. Under the circumstances, do you want another tie to him and another reminder? How does another child fit with your finances and work? Do you have a supportive family?

They're stormin' off.

Contact your estate agent and ask whether they take this as a request to end the tenancy agreement or whether they are going to voluntarily remove him from the tenancy because if it's the first he's also just made you homeless too.

@B9r0kre What a dreadful man.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your little daughter.

You need legal advice fast.
How could a man who is remotely honourable do that to his wife and child, leave them homeless?