Positive test yesterday, Islamic divorce today!

[B9r0kre]

I've been married for 4 and a half years, have a 3 year old daughter and literally found out I'm pregnant with our second yesterday. He accused me of purposely not taking my pills, and that I'd gotten pregnant on purpose. He
packed his things and said he needed a break for a few days (I was pissed off, but fine). He came home this morning and took his tea set, coffee machine, and every single thing he had in the house. Clearly not going for just a few days was he? I started getting upset and trying to make sense of things, and I said "If you walk out that door when I need you the most right now, you can divorce me whilst you're at it." And that was it. He said "Talaq, Talaq, Talaq" (I divorce you × 3), handed back his keys and left. Apparently saying it 3 times is irreversible, and he can't ever come back to me. Just can't believe he's done it a day after finding out I'm pregnant with our second.
He messaged earlier on and said it was ME who told him to divorce me, and that this is on me. Is it? I don't know what's reality and what's not anymore!

I'm still trying to make sense of everything, but feel so hurt that it's that easy to just walk away after everything I've forgiven him for over the years.

Thought it was a strange thing to say, but yes l looked back on the comment and now realise the comment, wasn’t actually aimed at op, it was to another poster.
Apologies @StormingNorman

I wish people talked about this more. When I was younger I thought babies had to be registered with their father's surname (unless you didn't know who he was). I thought it was an official rule because everyone seemed to do it. It always upset me because I didn't want a different name from my children and I didn't want to change my name "falsely" ( that's how it felt to me) without being married. It made me feel like I wasn't part of the family because I had a different name. It never occurred to me that DC could be registered with my surname.

Wow. You're so right @recyclingisaPITA, we need to make sure this information is out there.

I'm sorry he wasn't a better husband to you and I'm sorry you find yourself in such a vulnerable position but honestly you and your children are well rid.

I think you’ve done very well to discuss those concerns with your doctor, many wouldn’t, so absolutely well done for that. Sounds like you are safer and better off without him.

You are well rid. Poor children though. Horrible man!

In an islamic divorce, the three talaqs need to be said on three separate occasions. If said all together it's not valid. I suspect that perhaps you're not clued up on this, please speak to a reputable scholar or imam. Alternatively, this information is researchable online. Don't let your husband bulldoze you into believing that the three talaqs all being said at the same time makes the divorce valid or final, this isn't the case. I've been Muslim for over 30 years and also have a PhD in Islamic & Middle Eastern Studies so I know what I'm talking about. Sending you strength x

Are you married under Islamic law only? Or under UK law? If you are married under UK law,him denouncing your marriage under Islamic rules won't hold much sway in a court of law. You would also need a civil law divorce.

So you are not legally bound to him at all? Perfect! Cut the tosser out of your life and enjoy your lovely children.
It will be tough. I hope your employment is secure and you have good RL support.

Sorry,just seen your post saying you were never legally married to him in the UK.

This man is a joke of a person & you are well rid!

You were never married hence you're not divorced.

Men who marry women "Islamically" in a country where such marriages are not legally binding are not serious.

I noticed that, too.
However, comprehension on Mumsnet isn’t great, and the wrong person can definitely get a pile on.
👍

His behaviour suggests he's none too bright so it should be easy to outmaneuvre him.

Except she may be if she had an Islamic marriage in a country where that is legally binding. In which case she needs a legal divorce in the UK to be divorced.

I can’t tell if she means she had an Islamic marriage in the UK (not legally binding) or if she had one elsewhere (may be legally binding depending on the country).

Assalamu alaikum sister, congratulations on your pregnancy and on the imminent freedom from this disrespectful jerk. You deserve better than someone like this. If you need more advice about the legal side of things, the Muslim Mumsnetters board might be able to help (it can get complicated when there's marriages in different legal systems from different countries). Get your ducks in a row and ensure you get what you're legally entitled to as per your rights!

So sorry that you are going through this. Pronouncing a divorce like this is absolutely ridiculous. While it's a provision in Islam but this version of divorce ( talaqe biddat) it's widely looked down upon. But in your case it isn't valid as you are pregnant. I would highly recommend that you go and speak to a Imaam.
Regarding tenancy he is liable and can't leave mid tenancy without a replacement.
Sending you strength and love x

Sorry but I’m not going to leave ignorance unchecked. Did you see the post I was replying to?

If someone is from another country, that's one thing, although I think it's a bit presumptuous to think OP would be giving her child her husband's surname anyway as different cultures do things differently, but if someone is born and brought up in the Uk and at marrying and childbearing age when the internet is available, I don't think there is any excuse for such ignorance.

Talaq said 3 times in anger doesn't count as irrevocable divorce. And he can't say that you asked for it either, because then it would be Khula (divorce at wife's request) and not Talaq, in which case he would have had to say 'I release you' and it would not be irrevocable. You could reconcile. As Scirocco said, pop over to Muslim Mumsnetters if you need Islamic legal advice. For now, it sounds like he's thrown one almighty tantrum. Does he have form for this or is it out of character?

You think joking about somebody’s divorce, culture and religion is funny? A little morsel of insensibility wrapped up in bigotry? I am not the one with the problem if you think that post was ok.

You need to check if your marriage is recognised in the UK. It's quite possible for a marriage conducted outside the UK, in accordance with the law of that country is actually recognised as a legal marriage in the UK. So if the nikkah is the legal marriage on another country then it is probably legal here. You need to take legal advice.

Where were you married because if the marriage was legal there then its legal in the UK

I’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with such a horrendous person - just focus on looking after yourself and your child (and the second assuming the pregnancy continues). Make sure you reach out to friends and family and get all the support you can at this time.

So islamically speaking you can't be divorced or rather he can't divorce while you're pregnant. So technically islamically you're still married. But I would see this separation as a blessing and start building yourself up without this excuse for a man.
im sorry your going through this but honestly its better to be alone then with someone like this

I've read that there's an Islamic board here where you can receive advice.

There is. It's just not listed on the Talk front page, presumably to fly under the radar of randos who want to spew hate. Find the "Christian Mumsnetters" board, click on that, then make the obvious change in the address bar.