A little update…wish it was better news

[Babybelle81]

Hi all

Thought I would update you all.

it’s been a week nearly since I posted about my pregnancy and being 43 with my partner who is older.
I wish this update was a happier post, but it isn’t. He is very unhappy with this situation, and has not spoken about it apart from to say he made it clear that he didn’t want any more children and that’s that.
I do not have any family here, nowhere to go, and am working full time. I love him very very much, he really is my world. We have been together for 5 years, known each other for six. I love him beyond words. I thought this would have settled in his mind a bit now and he maybe would have come round somewhat, but I literally have no one to talk to, and he will not discuss it. I do not want to be on my own without him. He is my whole world. I am dealing with all these symptoms, trying to hide them from everyone, and have no idea what to do.

Anyway, I hope you are all well. I know my last thread started off some arguments, but please know that I post in good faith, and I really would appreciate any advice or support at this what should be the happiest time in my life, is now the loneliest time.

Thank you x

not so,

Babybelle81 · 28/11/2024 16:07
Thank you for all your comments and support. I have a scan in two weeks privately.

So sometime w/c 9/12.

@Babybelle81 no, YOU are your world, albeit in which he plays a very important part.

Seriously, what would you tell your future self in 5 years time when you could be taking your little one to primary?

It is very tough but this is the very time to have courage.

When you make your decision, as long as you have zero regrets, then all will be well.

Thinking of you and wishing you strength 🌸

Know there's more than this to think about but I just wanted to say that I kitted out my baby (unplanned) using my local hand me on group. Honestly it's amazing what people give away - clothes, cots, highchairs. Honestly everything you should need. Then you give it back to the group once finished with it. There's also groups for older children too.

Would you receive MAT pay? Check out the criteria for this. I was self employed and didn't think I could get any but I did.

Have you tried using a benefits calculator like Turn2us to see how much you could get?

We have a food hub type place (different to a food bank) too in our local area where you pay a small fee each month and you can choose from lots of staples which are due to go off and save them from landfill. Often there's pasta and rice and lots of veg so you can make a good meal. Changing little things like this will help.

How about contacting the council re housing.

There's help out there for you.

She's a teacher, so will be entitled to maternity leave, and she shouldn't be short of money. It sounds as if her husband is well off, and I don't think that the financial situation is precarious.

Personally, I think that if you terminate your relationship will 100% never feel safe or perfect again.

If you want the child, I would have all the tests to prepare for a healthy baby. I would take the risk of the relationship being rocky for a few months. You will have to negotiate a kind and workable relationship with your partner for the long term. It will be different but it might even be better with the child.

It will never be better with the loss of the child in the mix, IMO.
I wish you courage and I hope and pray that you find support in the form of women's groups and from your partner.

Hoping you're doing as well as you can OP. No pressure to post a reply, just wanted to let you know that a random stranger has you in their thoughts and is sending you strength

Still thinking about you OP and how awful your situation is. 💐

Tbh I would say have the baby if that’s what you want.
If the father comes round, lovely. If he doesn’t, he isn’t worth another minute of your time.
Of course you can do it alone, thousands of women do.
I hope your scan went well and you got the results you want.

Hope your scan gave you some clarity, @Babybelle81

Wondering how you are feeling now?

Happy Christmas OP. Hope things working out ok for you x

Thinking about you OP. Sending peace and love at Christmas time.

How did scan go? Are you okay?

Sadly it appears OP made her decision as she is no longer responding.

I don’t know about that. I’m sure she has other priorities.

Wishing you the very best with whatever path you’ve chosen, OP.

Wishing you all the best OP.

There is always help for those who ask for it. Don't be alone x

Just clearing threads in my saved list and I still had yours @Babybelle81 How are you? Hoping you are ok. 💐