Pregnancy after loss part 3

[LER2023]

After the first 2 threads have gone really well in supporting others who are going through pregnancy after loss, ive now decided to make a part 3!
This is a safe space for anyone who wants to moan, groan, share your wonderful news or even share your experiences!

We welcome all even those who are trying after a loss!!

Oart 2 thread here - https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5071488-pregnancy-after-loss-part-2

Part 1 is at the top of part 2's thread if anyone wants to read back.

Welcome all, thank you for being part of this amazing thread🩷🩵

@MiracleOctopus this group is full of wonderful, kind, helpful ladies, and all are welcome.

It's totally understandable to still feel nervous don't worry. I've not made it to that stage yet but there's lots of ladies here who have and can provide some reassurance and advice xx

@Moosey898 I have absolutely everything crossed for you for Friday. My rainbow baby is currently in my arms and cluster feeding away, but I anticipated the worst at every scan until I could feel her move, and even then didn’t truly believe I’d get her safely here until she was actually here. Do you have a busy week? I found things like jigsaw puzzles really helpful for whiling away the time (and kept me from going down Google rabbit holes too) x

@Wise0wl unfortunately had bad news today - got my genetic tests back and I have a reciprocal translocation of chromosomes 9 & 13. Making my risk of miscarriage really high, along with an increased risk of stillbirth and birth defects. I'm absolutely devastated and terrified 😓

Oh @Moosey898 I’m so sorry. Is that test specific to this pregnancy, or is it a more general test? And have they given any indication of what this means for your current pregnancy/any additional tests or measures they might put in place? Sending love and strength ❤️ xx

@Wise0wl it's a genetic condition that I have so could affect any pregnancy, it was from the bloods done on both me and my partner after my third loss as part of the recurrent miscarriage investigations.

More than doubles the miscarriage risk so now I'm looking at more than 50% chance of miscarriage (high end estimate is up to 80%). No extra tests yet, I will wait and see what the 7 week scan shows, if the heartbeat is slow or not there then that'll be this pregnancy over anyway. I'm not sure I can go through any of this any more. If I lose this one I think I'm done x

Oh @Moosey898 I am so sorry that you are having to deal with such news. Is there anything they can do to help? Sending love and strength. Do you have a follow up in place with the miscarriage clinic?

It's the 19th December, so next Thursday. Anxiety is still battering my brain, but just trying to take it day by day.

How are things for you?

@Orlahoping I've been referred for genetic counselling which is at St George's in London as it's a specialist clinic. So just have to wait for that appointment now. Thing is the option becomes IVF which I've always said I don't want to do. So if I lose this pregnancy that is probably the end of my journey. The risks are too high to just keep rolling the dice each time, plus it makes it harder to conceive and currently the quickest I've conceived is 6 months (up to 2.5 years). I can't keep doing this forever.

The waiting - for everything - is so brutal :(

Oh @Moosey898 I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine how that adds to your anticipation for Friday. One day at a time, and know we’re all here for you xx

@Moosey898 I’m so sorry to hear that, I’m really hoping that everything goes well on Friday for you ❤️ I have a scan on Friday too at 7 weeks and I’m so scared.

This sounds incredibly hard, so sorry to hear this.

I remember having similar thoughts during my last pregnancy loss (when I still wasn't sure about the outcome), try to give yourself some time and take it a day at a time (easier said than done, I know).

Feeling so scared for my scan this afternoon. I feel like my pregnancy symptoms have been ramping up these past few days but I’m on progesterone pessaries which I know can make symptoms worse. It’s took us so long to concieve again after our missed miscarriage and I just can’t imagine having to go through all of that again. Really really hoping there’s a healthy baby with a heartbeat in there 🤞

Good luck for your scan @Moosey898 ❤️ and also to you @Peachmelbaa

Thanks @Wise0wl - measuring a bit small (6+3 when I should be 7). But heartbeat was good. So now just a waiting game. They only had room to book me in 3 weeks from now so 3rd Jan. But I'm thinking I'll book another private one for just before Christmas as I can't wait that long, especially with it measuring small.

@Moosey898 gentle congratulations lovely. I’m rooting for you and your little bean. Take things a day at a time 🤞

Thanks @Wise0wl - I had a call with the genetic counselor today from St George's hospital. It was really interesting and useful, but I'm very fearful for this pregnancy. I've got an in person appointment with her next week in London. If the pregnancy does survive I have to decide if we have a CVS test which has a 0.5% chance of miscarriage - before all this 0.5% sounded tiny, now I'm 1 in 1000 with my genetic issues, it feels like a sizeable risk (if I get that far). Xx

@Moosey898 it’s good they’re being proactive if you’ve already spoken to someone and have an appointment for next week. Are you London based? And is there an opportunity to do NIPT instead of CVS?

@Wise0wl I'm in Surrey. I'd need CVS unfortunately because of the risk level - CVS gives an absolute diagnosis rather than the chance stats that you get from nipt. I'm in Surrey so a little way away but thankfully not too awful. St George's is the sound east centre - she was saying there's only 3 centres for the NHS in the whole country that offer the type of pre implantation genetic testing I would need if we went down the IVF route. I never thought I'd find myself as one of the people dealing with all this, assumed I was just "unlucky" having 3 miscarriages!

@Moosey898 it sounds like you’re in good hands, and I’m glad it’s not too far for you to travel which is good (especially so close to Christmas!) but I can see the dilemma with CVS. Hopefully she can talk through options for you next week and the appointment brings some more clarity. I keep typing - then deleting - something to the effect of ‘try not to worry’ because it sounds so naff given everything you’ve been through and now have to get your head around, but equally I know how easy it is to let your mind run away when you need to try to relax! xx

Thanks @Wise0wl - ultimately, unlike in most situations, the odds are not in my favour. Going to try to take it one day at a time x

Joining again, I had 2 MMC last December and September. I'm pregnant again and so anxious, 7 weeks today and I don't even know if I want a scan. I probably won't until the new year as I couldn't handle bad news this side of Christmas last December I was heartbroken.
Seems like a few of us are in a similar situation at the moment. Sending hugs

@Peachmelbaa how are you doing?

@Moosey898 I’m glad your scan went well ❤️ It’s good that the genetic counsellor has already been in touch. I’m really hoping for a good outcome for you.

My scan went well thanks for checking in. Baby is measuring about 5 days behind but has a strong heartbeat and the sonographer said she was happy with the amount of progression since my last scan two weeks ago. She said it’s likely I conceived or implanted late but she wasn’t concerned. Which would make sense as my hcg tests at 17 and 19 dpo were quite low and I didn’t get a faint line on a sensitive pregnancy test until 13 dpo. Despite all that I’m still really anxious as my previous loss was a missed miscarriage so I’m really hoping this baby is growing.

I haven’t got another scan now until my 12 week scan but I think I might book a private one for when I’m 9 or 10 weeks.

@Peachmelbaa that's good to hear. Glad it was positive. I don't blame you for being nervous, think it's totally natural. I have everything crossed for you xx