Midwife appointment

[Badassbreastfeeder85]

What happens if you don't attend your booking appointment or any of the subsequent ones?

But haven’t you had the health visitor & midwives visit your home for your children you already have? I don’t see how the midwife calling would be different?
If you have anxiety around strangers in your home, that’s ok but I think it woukd be beneficial for you, your unborn baby and your children to engage with the health professionals about your antenatal care.

OP, you don’t live with your partner after he was verbally abusing and intimidating to you after the birth of your child. He has shown little interest in your 14 month old, having only changed her nappy once. You have stated you are anxious about this pregnancy. You have stated up thread you don’t have a local support network.

All these are reasons why you should seek the support of your NHS midwife, and your GP. You need support for the pregnancy, for your mental health, and for the health of your unborn baby. I wish you well.

Yes good advice

You are not qualified to cast aspersions on my mental health any more than you are my physical health

I haven’t said anything you haven’t posted yourself @Badassbreastfeeder85 - and no aspersions have been cast. Take care of yourself.

What are you planning on doing for childcare with your toddler if you have absolutely no childcare or support system?

After seeing that your partner is a total waste of space and has no interest in your living toddler aswell, the whole thing seems like a total mess.

He does show an interest in the toddler, he sees her at the weekend but works away all week, we had dinner together tonight

What will you do for childcare when you are in labour?

One sister is at the end of a high risk pregnancy and will be having a section in about 2 weeks, in 9 months time she will be in a much better position to help,I also have another sister but she works full time,I was planning on having a water birth at hers last time, worst case I can ask my dad but he works full time and lives an hour away or my mum but she lives 2 hours away, would like to have a home birth but know I'd need someone to be with the toddler in case of transfer

Where in the post does the OP say she is being abused by her partner? Or is that from a previous thread?

If so, makes more sense why OP is asking about what social services may do if they get involved.

What a mess.

Will you be expecting midwives at your homebirth? With no antenatal care I don’t think they would attend.

I am not being abused, ppl have mentioned on here that a referral to social services would be made if incident attend my booking appt

So if I was in labour at home midwives wouldn't attend?

We've never lived together,didn't think that would have any bearing on my booking appt?

Previous threads

@2PinkCrocs

Ah right, I am unsure how to see previous threads.

A sad situation which makes a lot of the OP's replies make more sense with the level of defence being shown.

Hopefully she can access help.

It’s really sad to see you have no support around you. Do you have any close friends near by? If you were my friend I’d take days off work to look after your toddler so you could attend appointments or go with you to appointments myself. Is there no one in your life that can do that locally?
It makes me really sad and scared for you that you are willing to risk the life of your baby and your own life - potentially leaving two children without their mum too in a worse case scenario - because you’re unwilling to seek antenatal care - especially over something so incredibly minor as a booking appointment. I don’t know many midwives who would comfortably help you with a home birth in the knowledge you have not had any regular checks and appointments. There’s too much risk to you and the baby to have it at home without them knowing you’re both fit and well.
I really hope you make the right decision with this - it’s really sad and terrifying to see if I’m honest.

One of my best friends lives in Leeds, the other in Wales, my other best friend of 20 years lives in margate but we aren't speaking currently, I would usually ask my sister but she's at the end of a high risk pregnancy and is having a section any day now and my other local sister works full time in a demanding job,I'm not close with my mum but she's 2 hours away anyway so limited help there

You have ignored the comments about a homebirth. Are you planning to do this without midwives in attendance?

No but you said they wouldn't attend

I’m not sure where you’re based but perhaps you can have a real think if there’s absolutely anyone to help you out. You shouldn’t have to go through pregnancy and raising a toddler and 15 year old without any help or support. Surely your sister can take an afternoon off her demanding job to look after her niece/nephew? If not - Could you maybe speak to a GP for advice? I’m sorry you’re so alone - that’s no way to live your life.

Oh and the reason I said i feel anxious is because I'm breastfeeding,I'm worried about the impact that would have on the pregnancy ,whether that would make miscarriage more likely, also worried about my milk drying up and having to wean my toddler before I'm ready

Very unlikely they will attend without having any AN care with them.

Well short of moving to Wales or Leeds i don't know what u suggest? It's not my sisters responsibility to take time off for my midwife appointment nor would she be entitled to, also i find this actually quite condescending, not everyone has family on their doorstep who can provide childcare

So they would leave me to labour and birth alone? Interesting