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Original poster

Midwife appointment

243 replies

Badassbreastfeeder85 · 01/08/2024 13:51

What happens if you don't attend your booking appointment or any of the subsequent ones?

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Original poster
Badassbreastfeeder85 · 02/08/2024 13:39

elliejjtiny · 02/08/2024 13:33

You might find it helpful to join one of the freebirthing groups on facebook as I would think quite a few women on there would have declined antenatal care as well and be able to tell you how it works. It's important to have your iron levels checked, especially with a fairly small age gap.

When I was pregnant with my 5th I postponed some appointments in the middle of my pregnancy because my 4th had a lot of appointments and I would put his appointments before mine. The midwife gave me a gentle telling off and reminded me that my antenatal appointments weren't just mine, they were for the baby and I wasn't being a hero by missing them in favour of going to my 4th baby's appointments. I did a mixture of rearranging both sets of appointments after that.

If you get a social services referral it depends on how serious their concerns are. You might just get a phone call or if they are more concerned and want to do an investigation they will do a home visit, check the children's bedrooms for beds and clean bedding, talk to your younger child's health visitor and your older child's school, then write a report. I would think you would just get a phone call or visit and then close the case.

Why would they want to check the children's bedroom and bedding if I don't go to my midwife appt?

OP posts:
cappycap · 02/08/2024 13:40

@Badassbreastfeeder85

To check for neglect.

Original poster
Badassbreastfeeder85 · 02/08/2024 13:41

Literally over 25 is the only thing

Midwife appointment
OP posts:
Marseillaise · 02/08/2024 13:42

Badassbreastfeeder85 · 02/08/2024 11:09

I'm not at risk of GD never had it before nor pre eclampsia, the bloods they would do I already know my blood type,rhesus status,I know I have got hiv or any Std,i know my height and weight also

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You have no idea whether you are at risk of GD or not. My sister had two normal pregnancies and developed it in her third.

SurpriseTwinPregnancy · 02/08/2024 13:43

You do know GD isn’t the only complication that can happen during pregnancy… right? Why are you fixating on this and not currently on the phone to the hospital to discuss your concerns, rearranging your appointments etc?

I’m starting to think you must be on the wind up.

Marseillaise · 02/08/2024 13:46

What did you do about post-birth midwife and health visitor visits with your other two children?

Original poster
Badassbreastfeeder85 · 02/08/2024 13:46

SurpriseTwinPregnancy · 02/08/2024 13:43

You do know GD isn’t the only complication that can happen during pregnancy… right? Why are you fixating on this and not currently on the phone to the hospital to discuss your concerns, rearranging your appointments etc?

I’m starting to think you must be on the wind up.

Because everyone keeps mentioning diabetes

OP posts:
Marseillaise · 02/08/2024 13:48

Badassbreastfeeder85 · 02/08/2024 13:38

Because I don't think calling me names is necessary?

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No, it isn't. But that doesn't make it unnecessary to consider the very valid points people are making about the benefits of attending the appointment and the tests they would be doing at that point, and you are repeatedly ignoring those. You have made an assumption that you wouldn't get a scan at 12 weeks, but you haven't checked. Why not at least do that?

GreenFlamingo11 · 02/08/2024 13:51

OP, respectfully, you don't sound very well mentally. Your thoughts around this whole scenario are very illogical, you're refusing all of the advice given because you don't like it and you're hyper focusing on being called names like this is some schoolyard game.

Either this is a wind up or you really are going to need some care to get though this pregnancy successfully.

Superscientist · 02/08/2024 13:51

I was in hospital with a lady under section for delusional behaviour and query psychosis as she declined all blood tests in pregnancy and she wouldn't consent to being given blood products due to her religion. Father of the baby raised concerns as her behaviour was increasingly getting more extreme. She was sectioned to determine whether it was delusional religious beliefs and part of mental illness or if she was of sound mind and able to make a rational decision to follow her religious beliefs accepting the risks that it might occur. This was her third child and she didn't have these issues with her previous children. For her it was a bit of both mostly her religious beliefs and she could some times make rational decisions but there was some mental illness alongside it which were making her beliefs a little more extreme than was normal for her.

If you disengage one of the things they could look at is whether you are of sound mind and understand the consequences of not engaging.

Mumoftwo2022 · 02/08/2024 13:53

Badassbreastfeeder85 · 01/08/2024 18:31

Yes I wouldn't just not turn up,I've emailed to say I won't be attending. I'm 5 weeks, the appointment isn't for another 5 weeks, which seems very late, feels like they aren't bothered about making time for me, I have already answered health questions on the online record, I know my height,I have good scales so know my weight and bmi, my 2nd is 14 months so i had bloods done then and I've not contracted him or stds since then, the email says I can't bring the baby and I have no childcare,it's also ar a time I can make cause of our swimming lesson. Considering I'll be 10 weeks before I even see a midwife it's not looking likey I'll get a scan at 12 weeks,so think ill just book a private one instead

That sounds quite precious of you. Booking appointment is usually between 8 and 10 weeks mine was 10. Still had my scan at 12 weeks. Some pregnant women think the world revolves around them . They will have got you in at the earliest possible time. 10 weeks isn’t late

elliejjtiny · 02/08/2024 13:55

Badassbreastfeeder85 · 02/08/2024 13:39

Why would they want to check the children's bedroom and bedding if I don't go to my midwife appt?

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It's just a standard thing they do. Because if you were neglecting your children and something awful happened, the newspaper articles and police reports would say that the social worker had visited and hadn't noticed what was going on and then the social worker would be considered to be negligent. It used to be that a social worker would just ask to use the toilet and if your toilet was clean and so was your living room they wouldn't bother checking anywhere else. They used to check your fridge and cupboards to make sure you have food in but I don't think they do that now.

Borgonzola · 02/08/2024 13:55

I saw my midwife at 10 weeks and had my scan at 12.

How are you going to get your urine checked, blood tests, co2 check etc done then?

SurpriseTwinPregnancy · 02/08/2024 13:58

Borgonzola · 02/08/2024 13:55

I saw my midwife at 10 weeks and had my scan at 12.

How are you going to get your urine checked, blood tests, co2 check etc done then?

She’s not. She’s had two healthy pregnancies before and she has no risk factors for anything so there’s no way she’ll have any complications this time. She and her baby are going to be just fine without any antenatal care apparently 👍🏻

Honestly, OP, get some help.

Original poster
Badassbreastfeeder85 · 02/08/2024 14:03

Marseillaise · 02/08/2024 13:48

No, it isn't. But that doesn't make it unnecessary to consider the very valid points people are making about the benefits of attending the appointment and the tests they would be doing at that point, and you are repeatedly ignoring those. You have made an assumption that you wouldn't get a scan at 12 weeks, but you haven't checked. Why not at least do that?

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The checks done at booking in like weighing me,I've done at home,I'm not obese,I know my height, blood type and rhesus status, i havent got hiv,hepatitis or syphilis so I'm just wondering if it's actually necessary to go,I've answered the health question on the online portal, to then be accused of going on to murder and dump my newborn is completely unnecessary

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WonderingAboutBabies · 02/08/2024 14:04

I've just seen your updates OP.

First off, the combined screening is not a diagnostic test. NIPT isn't either, but is much more accurate.

Second off, all pregnancies are different. Complications arise even if you haven't had any before, some examples would be pre-eclampsia and gestational diabetes. There are things that increase your risk of them, but your risk is never zero. ANYONE can develop these things.

Not to mention other issues such as placenta previa, hypertension, pre-term labour, issues with antibodies, DVT, cholestasis.

Attending your appointments will increase the likelihood that these issues are spotted and dealt with, if they do arise, before it's too late.

Original poster
Badassbreastfeeder85 · 02/08/2024 14:09

GreenFlamingo11 · 02/08/2024 13:51

OP, respectfully, you don't sound very well mentally. Your thoughts around this whole scenario are very illogical, you're refusing all of the advice given because you don't like it and you're hyper focusing on being called names like this is some schoolyard game.

Either this is a wind up or you really are going to need some care to get though this pregnancy successfully.

You're not in a position to declare I'm.not well.mentally even if you are a qualified mental health professional. The advice I'm being given isn't on the topic I'm asking for advice on

OP posts:
Original poster
Badassbreastfeeder85 · 02/08/2024 14:11

Mumoftwo2022 · 02/08/2024 13:53

That sounds quite precious of you. Booking appointment is usually between 8 and 10 weeks mine was 10. Still had my scan at 12 weeks. Some pregnant women think the world revolves around them . They will have got you in at the earliest possible time. 10 weeks isn’t late

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This is what the NHS say

Midwife appointment
OP posts:
Original poster
Badassbreastfeeder85 · 02/08/2024 14:11

So tow the line or get sectioned?
Wow

OP posts:
HopefulllHolly · 02/08/2024 14:13

@Badassbreastfeeder85 Purely because I’m curious - where are you planning to give birth? And where will you have your 20 week scan?

Superscientist · 02/08/2024 14:32

Badassbreastfeeder85 · 02/08/2024 14:11

So tow the line or get sectioned?
Wow

Not quite but they might want to assess that you are not avoiding appointments due to delusional beliefs and you understand the potential consequences of not engaging. With the lady I met, there were some concerns from family and medical professionals that she wasn't coming to these decisions from a place where she could make rational risk assessments. It wasn't just she didn't want blood tests so they sectioned her. She didn't want blood tests and this triggered ongoing conversations and on the basis of these they feared that she was delusional and this triggered her to be sectioned. I am sure there are many people that when they have those conversations they decide that yes they are making a decisions that are against medical advice but they have the capacity to make these decision. Just be prepared to justify why you have made a decision is all I'm saying

Pharticle · 02/08/2024 14:36

The people calling you names are out of order, but you should go to your midwife appointments. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never had any complications during pregnancy before, it doesn’t mean you definitely won’t have any with this pregnancy. Have a private scan if you want, but please go to see the midwife as well. You should be able to take your toddler to the midwife appointments, just not the scans.

Sunglow1921 · 02/08/2024 14:37

I also had my booking appointment at 10 weeks and scan at 12 so nothing unusual there.

If you’re struggling with childcare, I’d call and say that. Maybe they can make some accommodations or you could have the booking appointment over the phone and your blood test when you go for the scan (that’s what they did during Covid).

thesoundofsummer · 02/08/2024 14:42

HopefulllHolly · 02/08/2024 12:35

I reckon you could:

  • Have your private scan at 8 weeks to make sure it’s in the right place etc
  • Phone midwife ask to do phone call booking appt
  • Have NIPT test at 10+1 to check for anything you might have a termination over
  • Doesnt matter when your 12 week scan is due to NIPT

Just to reiterate my 12 week scan wasn’t booked until after my booking appointment like you are saying and I got it through and booked it for 11+6, so do try not to fixate on the fact you don’t think they’ll have space. Plus you’ll have your results from NIPT before the 12 week scan either way so you can make an informed decision on anything. I’d definitely say don’t cancel your booking appointment over the fact it’s not earlier - there’s ways around the issues you have and it’s certainly not a reason to not go to it. Good luck with your pregnancy 🙂

Why don't you do this?

2PinkCrocs · 02/08/2024 19:52

Badassbreastfeeder85 · 02/08/2024 10:43

But if the NHS do it it is? So why not a private scan by a fetal medicine consultant? What's the difference?

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No, a nuchal scan isn’t diagnostic on the NHS either… it sounds as though you have some very fixed - and incorrect - thoughts on how NHS antenatal care works.