Midwife appointment

[Badassbreastfeeder85]

What happens if you don't attend your booking appointment or any of the subsequent ones?

What’s your plan for the rest of your care, especially labour care? Turning up unbooked in labour will always be a referral. If you want to pick up antenatal care during the pregnancy you will always still have to have a booking, and again booking late (defined as after 24 weeks) for pregnancy care will always be a referral. Here in our trust anyway.

Ok he's not my husband, not that that is relevant, he's not the cather of my eldest again not relevant, this pregnancy wasn't planned as my periods hadn't returned due to breastfeeding, again not relevant, he's working 4 hours away so it's not like he could just pop over to the scan, and he'd likely want to be at the scan so again childcare still an issue, my op was asking what happens if I don't go to the booking appt,I've been called names and told I'm anxious, not helpful, 250 is a large chunk of money not to mention the travel back and forth from the site he's on

OP, in the nicest possible way, I do hope services are alerted, you are knowingly putting your unborn baby at risk.

Your posts make for uncomfortable reading and I wouldn't be surprised if there are more red flags/risk factors (you're already showing some) not wanting a home visit, unwilling to be flexible with regards to changing your appointment, unwilling to contact them to see if your child can attend etc. It doesn't make sense that just because one of your appointments is later than you'd like (in your eyes) you're refusing all antenatal care. That's the reason people are checking if you're okay.

I really hope you're right and you and your baby are okay in the end. It's not something I'd risk myself personally. I've had NHS scans and private scans and sorry, the two just aren't comparable. Yes, private scans do a wellbeing check, however it just can absolutely not be compared to an NHS scan.

I'm not at risk of GD never had it before nor pre eclampsia, the bloods they would do I already know my blood type,rhesus status,I know I have got hiv or any Std,i know my height and weight also

Yes I have one booked at 8 weeks to confirm viability and number of fetuses etc

You're older this pregnancy, which puts you at a higher risk for everything sadly. The fact you think nothing can go wrong because you've had good pregnancies before shows a level of privileged ignorance.

Honestly why do you think anyone has antenatal care? Do you think the NHS would spend so much money on it if it wasn't needed? Do you know about maternal outcomes in countries that don't have accessible antenatal care?

Referral to ss? Then what would happen? This is what im interested in knowing so I can decide what to do

Thats good. Why don’t you book a private NIPT at 10 weeks to test for any abnormalities? It is more reliable than the NHS nuchal and screening anyway. That way it won’t matter when your 12 week scan is really. I had it done and it was great - it meant I treated the 12 week scan as just an opportunity to see the baby growing. ☺️

I have emailed to explain about childcare,I didn't think it was that unusual to not like having strangers in your house? Maybe it is but I don't feel comfortable with it

Yes I'm thinking of doing this,will discuss at my 8 week scan

How quickly did u get results and how much was it if u don't mind me asking?

I agree with this. It seems like you are cutting off your nose to spite your face by refusing to attend a booking appointment because you don't like the timing. How would the childcare issue be any different if they offered one at say 8 weeks?

If childcare if the main problem, they can do the booking appointment by phone and do bloods at a later date. I had a 30 minute phone call this pregnancy for my booking appointment then popped in to get bloods done a week or so later

Its okay to not like strangers in your house OP, however this will be your allocated midwife who you should hopefully see increasingly often until the birth of your baby, and beyond. It's different having a midwife you haven't yet met in your house to an actual stranger without reason/purpose. X

I don’t think I’ve ever read a thread where the OP is being so stubborn.

OP, of course they care about you. The appointment timing might not be what you expected but it is fine. If it was at 8 weeks would you have childcare?

If you don’t book in are you just not going to have any antenatal appointments?! I mean, this is an insane approach to take.

The reason no one is explaining what happens when you don’t go to the appointment is because… everyone goes to their appointments.

Don’t email them. Phone them and talk it through. Ask for an earlier appointment, explain the childcare situation.

I had to have two booking appointments in my last pregnancy. One at about 10 weeks and one at 30 weeks when I transferred my care to another hospital. When I transferred they were able to schedule my 32 and 36 week growth scans straight away. In my first pregnancy I needed a growth scan due to static bump growth and it was arranged for the next day.

In my current pregnancy I had my booking appointment over the phone with two young children at home. It was fine. I also had my 12 week scan too early (didn’t know my dates) and they were able to book another one in for a week later no problems.

Every trust is different but they can be flexible. They do care about you. Please don’t do this. Work with them to get the care you and your baby need.

Sorry to say I feel slightly twitchy about your concerns that social services might be contacted if you decline the midwife appointment, and you don’t want anyone coming to your home. I don’t buy your reasons for the latter - I’m not keen on having people in either, but if it benefitted my baby’s health I would.

Maybe you’re just an argumentative type who won’t be wrong though, but whatever it is you’re not listening to reason on here.

I'm not getting the answer to my actual op though, I might see if I can find any groups on Facebook where there are women who haven't had midwife appointments as I'm not getting anywhere here, 8 weeks I may have had the same childcare issue but at least I'd have a 4 week window to get a date for my 12 week scan

They would still be an actual stranger

Well I don't know many people who'd want social service involvement?

Besides anything OP, scan appointments and clinic appointments are on completely separate booking systems. Not having your booking in until 10 weeks won't make any difference. This isn't a helpful thing to fixate on.

@Badassbreastfeeder85 why don’t you phone the hospital and explain your concerns? Say you are worried you won’t get your scan in time and see what they say. You’re sacrificing all your antenatal care because you think they might not book your scan in time but you don’t know that. Please don’t do this.

Having a private midwife is fine. No midwife would mean a safeguarding referral.

I have given you an answer several times!

You May get a SS referral yes, however if there are no other concerns this is unlikely to go anywhere.

To try and avoid a SS referral, the best thing to do is have a clear and open conversation with your maternity unit explaining why you are declining care and allowing them to ensure you have made a fully informed decision regarding this.

Nobody’s situation is going to be exactly the same as yours so everybody who has ever declined care will have had a different outcome to you and each other. This is entirely dependant on risk factors, pre existing concerns, communication, local trust policies amongst other things.

With my last pregnancy I didn't attend my midwife appointment (at 9 weeks) as I had horrific hyperemesis and was either in bed or in hospital on fluids.
Unfortunately my pregnancy ended at 13 weeks, and I never thought to tell my midwife as she never contacted me about my missed booking appointment.
I then got a message from her one week before my due date to say that if I hadn't had baby yet, then I needed to go in for a check up.

Obviously my midwife wasn't on the ball but yours may be different, but I doubt they would call SS if you had a private scan instead - and if they did then just make sure to keep any paperwork you get to show them.

I hope everything goes well for you.

I had mine done at Window to the Womb (but they use Concepto testing) and it was £275 for the 3 trisomies plus other chromosomal issues - think it’s called NIPT advanced? I had the test on a Friday evening and got the results Tuesday night which is pretty good for over the weekend! I’m really glad I got it done.

If there’s a referral then SS will evaluate to see if you need an assessment - essentially visiting you at home, they might ask to look round the house, perhaps speaking to your children’s school/nursery. What happens then depends on whether they are worried about anything. They could close the case, refer you to other agencies like Early Help, or they could progress to more assessments etc.