Midwife appointment

[Badassbreastfeeder85]

What happens if you don't attend your booking appointment or any of the subsequent ones?

I'm not quite sure what you want from this pregnancy OP? You've mentioned termination and the combined screening. If you want the screening, you need to get bloods done and the neck fluid checked - these are done at the booking and 12 week scan. Without these, I'm not sure what you expect to happen?

I wouldn't be prepared to have a home visit, also if I only have a few days notice I won't be able to sort childcare and NHS scans don't let u bring children, private ones do

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng201/resources/antenatal-care-pdf-66143709695941#:~:text=Offer%20a%20first%20antenatal%20(booking,10%2B0%20weeks%20of%20pregnancy.&text=If%20women%20contact%20or%20are,within%202%20weeks%20if%20possible.

NICE guidelines say by 10+0 - is it after that?

I wouldn't carry on with a down syndrome pregnancy, combined screening needs to be done before 14 weeks, I can book a private nuchal scan before 14 weeks

I have no other safeguarding factors or red flags

@Badassbreastfeeder85 your posts are very combative. Remember that people are taking their own time to give you advice, whether it's what you'd like to hear or not.

You know private scanning places don't do the combined screening or check for the things you get checked at hospital?

Also by forfeiting medical care you're risking things like undiagnosed GD or pre-eclampsia.

Why not get on board with the system and book a private scan as well for peace of mind, or pay for the NIPT while you're waiting. You seem worried they'll miss doing combined screening... but if you disengage from care then you'll miss this altogether so then what happens if something is wrong? It doesn't sound like you've thought it through properly.

It sounds like you don't have a lot of support which is hard. Definitely just bring your little one or ask your OH to book some leave.

Also just on this, a nuchal scan is not diagnostic.

I'm combative but no mention of the other posters calling me names which is wholly unnecessary imo, he's self employed working anywhere between 2 and 4 hours away,to miss a day would cost arround £250 so he can't just book leave

@Badassbreastfeeder85

Not sure why if they offered a home appointment you would refuse?

Either your home is a pig sty and would raise some red flags or you are just being obtuse for the sake of it.

Hopefully if you attend no antenatal appointments it will flag to the appropriate services as you don't seem mentally in a good place reading your posts and you could probably do with some extra help.

But if the NHS do it it is? So why not a private scan by a fetal medicine consultant? What's the difference?

Ha quite the jump there, my house is fine I just don't like having strangers over,I find it very intrusive

Just call and explain you have no childcare! They will make an allowance i guarantee. Literally i've watched so many women take their child in to scans with them across my two pregnancies. I do think you are being a bit dramatic but hormones will do that!

Also they will give you a scan before you hit 13 weeks. So many women don't have their booking app until 10 weeks and still manage to get their scan at 12 weeks. I've known at 5 weeks i'm pregnant and never had a booking app before 10wks and both my scans were at 12 wks bang on

They'll do the scan but they'll tell you it's not diagnostic and refer you back to hospital for bloods. Unless you're going fully private for care, which is a different system and you'd need to register for that.

But why would it not be diagnostic? Surely they are looking at the same things the NHS would?

@Badassbreastfeeder85

But if the home appointment meant you were able to be seen as it gets round the no childcare issue and gets you into the system, not sure why you wouldn't... all a bit strange.

Plus, in your replies to posters you are displaying a very high level of anxiety and seem to be catastrophizing a really normal situation into something it's not.

Hope you get the help you need. Pregnancy can be tough on the mind.

Not sure you're qualified to assess my mental health off of one mumsnet thread,assuming you have mental health qualifications? Completely unnecessary comment that doesn't address my op

Because I don't like having strangers into my home,I find it intrusive and uncomfortable especially if it's forced upon me rather than a welcome invite from myself

Where are you planning to give birth?

I’ve had several scans booked in for the same day as I was referred for them so I don’t see any reason why you couldn’t be booked in for your 12 week scan with 2 weeks notice

From what I understand the nuchal measurement doesn’t mean much on it’s own and has to be done as part of the combined test to get a meaningful result.

They don't diagnose anything based on just a high NT scan either within the NHS or outside it. You have to have your bloodwork done.

If there's concerns flagged then you can be offered the NIPT, a CVS or you can elect to hold off until a bit later and have an early anatomy scan, followed by an amnio if needed.

I appreciate as you've had easy pregnancies before you might not know about all this stuff, but some of us have been through riskier ones and been down the road of "what happens next".

I agree with other posters that you seem very anxious and your reaction to the appointment not being when you like seems extreme. Do you have anyone you can talk to in person about how you're feeling?

By the way, your partner taking a day off costing £250 is MUCH cheaper than follow on private care or even paying for a private NIPT.

I, and several other midwifery staff, have given you really well balanced advice and information OP.
I would leave this thread where it is now and just have a conversation, via phone or email, with your local maternity unit regarding your wish to decline AN care.
Providing you communicate well with them and they have no further concerns, it shouldn’t be an issue. But it will also give them the opportunity to give you all the information you need to ensure you are making a fully informed choice of opting out of antenatal care.

I don't feel anxious in the slightest actually

Why don’t you go have a private scan earlier to make sure it’s all ok - if that’s going to relax you a bit. Booking appointments are usually around the 10 week mark (probably because miscarriages more likely to happen earlier on - who knows!) then the 12 week scan will be booked after that. I had my booking appointment at 10 weeks and my 12 week scan at 11+6 and it hadn’t been booked until after the booking appointment. So I wouldn’t worry.

You have been offered a booking appointment at ten weeks.

This is safe to have a booking appointment, 10 weeks is fine to have the tests required for certain issues they try to pick up on through blood tests.

Your scan would then fall between the 11 and 14 week mark, again safe and suitable for the diagnostics you require to make the choices you would take.

Can you not see how your post and subsequent posts make you seem overwhelmed with anxiety?

If the antenatal team didn't make an exception to their no childcare rule after you have explained to them your situation, id be surprised if they don't make an allowance for you and offer you to bring your child or arrange a home visit.

But to be honest, your husband being unable to take 1 day off for the NHS scan for the sake of £250, which equates to roughly what? 4K a month gross? Isn't great on his side. If it's financial, then not sure why you'd be having a 3rd tbh and I'd more than guess you are just being obtuse rather than looking to sort anything out to help yourself.

I feel like you’re making a bit of a mountain out of a mole hill. Phone them and ask maybe? Just explain you’re anxious about the screening as are potentially considering a termination depending on results so keen to have it as early as possible. 10 weeks is pretty normal for a booking appointment and yes the scan will be triggered by the appointment but not sure why you’ve assumed that means it will be done late? It could be done the next week? Regarding childcare yes you’ve had an email saying no children as that is their preference but if you explain you have absolutely no childcare they will make allowances. You seen to have jumped to a lot of conclusions without actually speaking to anyone.

To answer your original questions I have no idea what will happen if you just don’t attend and don’t engage with any ante natal care but i can’t imagine it will be anything good, do you plan to just rock up to A&E in labour, it would paint you as very irresponsible and I would think it would raise concerns. You say you are low risk and that may be true but the health professions don’t know that without seeing and reviewing you and it actually isn’t all about you, they have a duty to be sure your baby is safe and will refer accordingly if you don’t make yourself available to confirm that is the case.