Midwife appointment

[Badassbreastfeeder85]

What happens if you don't attend your booking appointment or any of the subsequent ones?

I reckon you could:

• Have your private scan at 8 weeks to make sure it’s in the right place etc
• Phone midwife ask to do phone call booking appt
• Have NIPT test at 10+1 to check for anything you might have a termination over
• Doesnt matter when your 12 week scan is due to NIPT

Just to reiterate my 12 week scan wasn’t booked until after my booking appointment like you are saying and I got it through and booked it for 11+6, so do try not to fixate on the fact you don’t think they’ll have space. Plus you’ll have your results from NIPT before the 12 week scan either way so you can make an informed decision on anything. I’d definitely say don’t cancel your booking appointment over the fact it’s not earlier - there’s ways around the issues you have and it’s certainly not a reason to not go to it. Good luck with your pregnancy 🙂

Booking in is booking you into nhs antenatal care including where you'll give birth. Of course they wouldn't turn you away if in labour but they have no notes on you so would be a very difficult situation to manage. Unless you'll be paying for a private health care for it all I'd attend op

Appreciate you know what your blood type is and other details

but do you know what your hb is or what your currently clotting levels are

a lot can change from when you had your last bloods

I don’t understand your logic, they can book scans at very short notice if necessary. How do you think growth scans work? They’re booked within 24 hours of being requested with my midwife. Thats if it even comes to that as my booking appointment was at 10 weeks but the scan was already booked when I referred myself with my LMP.

A lot can change between pregnancies with bloods etc and similarly not all pregnancies are the same? My midwife picked up that my bump wasn’t growing at my 34 week appointment and from this my DS’s IUGR was picked up and this allowed him to be delivered early. No other problems in my low risk pregnancy whatsoever.

You’re risking your health and the health of your unborn baby. Is there another reason you don’t want the appointments? Are you scared of something?

*Badassbreastfeeder85 *

I didnt attend a few of my midwife appointments, I was very unwell during the pregnancy and also had a 14 month old

The midwife ended up coming to my house to do the check ups for the rest of my pregnancy. Ask them if they can do that. I didnt know they could it was offered to me

What would change my clotting levels in a year?

Nope not scared or anxious

Did you say the father of your first child is different to the father of this one?

Different genes in the baby so things may or may not be the same.

As somebody else said above, a new partner does actually put you at a higher risk for pre eclampsia for example.

What do you plan to do if you had reduced movements? Or any symptoms of pre eclampsia?

I have a 12 year old and a 14 month old, eldest has a different dad, 14 month old and current pregnancy same man

That's interesting why so? Current pregnancy and 14 month old are with the same man

@Badassbreastfeeder85

IF they referred to social services, they would most likely ring you up to arrange a home visit, not sure how you be able to engage with that if you won't let them in your house though and that would be a red flag for them, but if they do get involved and if all is OK in the household and they have no concerns, then they would close the case.

You would then have to declare social services involvement in future for any school admissions and future pregnancies if you were planning any and were asked the question.

Hopefully you get sorted as you seem to have no friends/family on hand to help and a partner who works away and doesn't want to help either.

More complex than this but essentially it’s due to the fathers sperm, but I can see you have a child together already so that reduces the risk.

My booking in appointment this time was actually done over the phone so I didn't need to go anywhere. That was at 10 weeks and then 2 days later I had my scan appointment which was booked for 12 weeks. They did ask me to attend my GP surgery just for bloods and you can take children to that so might be an option for you to request it the same way. I also had a private scan at 8 weeks to check viability and paid privately for the NIPT for peace of mind. I did still attend my 12 week scan at the hospital because I'm under the impression (someone correct me if I'm wrong) the NHS don't actually recognise private scans so would still want to do the dating scan to give you the due date that they advise. The NHS also use the date from the dating scan to give you a date for the anomaly scan which is usually done between 18-20 weeks, which is extremely important and in depth to check the health of the baby. Turning down all antenatal care over childcare and the booking in appointment date not being convenient, without actually giving them the chance to work with you on either changing it or allowing you to bring your child is bizarre and pretty reckless. At least speak to them to see if there ways to work around it.

I don't imagine Constance Marten told her midwives that she was planning on that, either.

So why not phone and ask (1) whether you can bring the appointment forward as you've got problems making it anyway, (2) whether you can book the scan now, and (3) if not, when is the scan likely to take place. It's not difficult, is it?

No I don't have any friends or family,thanks for sticking that boot in, helpful

But there are all sorts of other potential issues, e.g. gestational diabetes. Can you guarantee that you will be able to tell?

Wow so because i asked what would happen if I didn't go to my booking scan I'm going to murder my newborn and dump it, thanks for that, fucking hell

I literally don't have a single indicator I would develop GD

You might find it helpful to join one of the freebirthing groups on facebook as I would think quite a few women on there would have declined antenatal care as well and be able to tell you how it works. It's important to have your iron levels checked, especially with a fairly small age gap.

When I was pregnant with my 5th I postponed some appointments in the middle of my pregnancy because my 4th had a lot of appointments and I would put his appointments before mine. The midwife gave me a gentle telling off and reminded me that my antenatal appointments weren't just mine, they were for the baby and I wasn't being a hero by missing them in favour of going to my 4th baby's appointments. I did a mixture of rearranging both sets of appointments after that.

If you get a social services referral it depends on how serious their concerns are. You might just get a phone call or if they are more concerned and want to do an investigation they will do a home visit, check the children's bedrooms for beds and clean bedding, talk to your younger child's health visitor and your older child's school, then write a report. I would think you would just get a phone call or visit and then close the case.

You keep focussing on being called names almost as an excuse for not taking in the points people are making. It is the case that a private scan simply won't make all the checks that would be made on a normal booking-in appointment, and it is also a fact that having had two normal pregnancies does not mean that the third one will be fine.

You want to know about consequences. Frankly, I don't know, as it never once occurred to me not to go for ante-natal appointments, but if this is followed up and you display the same determination to close your mind to the possibility that you could be mistaken, then there will be big red flags raised about you and about your children's welfare.

It can develop in women with absolutely no risk factors though. Yes, some women are statistically more likely to develop it than others but at at the end of day it's caused by the placenta, not your risk factors.

You've had two healthy, straightforward pregnancies with (I assume) normal antenatal care so far. I don't know why you seem to be wiling to put yourself and this baby at risk by declining care.

Many of us have asked you what you plan to do for the rest of your pregnancy care or if you have any issues arise and you haven't responded. That alone is concerning.

Because I don't think calling me names is necessary?

Do you have a crystal ball?