BFP after recent loss

[purplecolouroffunk]

Hello!

I know there are quite a few threads like this, but thought I’d start a new one for those of us going through this just now 🙂

I found out about my MMC at what should have been 7.5 weeks (no growth since 5). Had to have a D&C as my body wouldn’t let go. That was back in mid-April.

I’ve had one period since then and it now looks like I’m pregnant again! Can’t believe we’ve been so luckily to fall again so quickly.

Got a vfl yesterday at 10dpo and the line is a bit darker today at 11dpo. Pic attached has 11dpo at the top and 10dpo bottom. What a shock when I saw that line!

Anyway, I’m already feeling nervous about everything so I thought I’d make a space for people in a similar position to join. Maybe we can help to calm each others’ nerves a bit 💜

When did everyone's symptoms kick in? I'm now 5 weeks and so far slightly sore nipples and just really tired but that's it!

@Rockyslife I’ve definitely lost my want to DTD but we have a few times since the first positive. I’m so anxious about bleeding which I did in my first pregnancy. This time it’s less blood and more of a brown discharge. I’m not sure whether this is better or worse.

I finish work on Thursday for the 6 weeks and I’m so ready for it. It won’t be relaxing with a wild 4 year old but at least I know there are days without rushing about. We also have two holidays booked which means Mammy gets to chill out and Daddy/ our family will entertain said 4 year old. 😂🙈

I have my private scan on Saturday and booking in appointment the following Wednesday. I’m not sure how to feel about it. I definitely have my anxieties as this was when we found out about an empty sac last time. We then had to cancel my midwife appointment to tell them we had a non viable pregnancy. It all feels very close and I almost just want it done and out the way whilst also want to keep my head in the sand.

It’s lovely to see so many of you with successes. Keeping my fingers crossed for more. 🤞

@jellyfish2 mine seem to come and go. I was exhausted and nauseous between 4-5 weeks. Then my boobs just really hurt last week. Now, between 6-7 weeks, the nausea is back but mostly on a night time.

I just wish we could have a scan every day, I just feel so stressed again, literally had a scan last Friday and have another this Friday (last week was paid for as I couldn’t wait 3 weeks from my first scan and got upset thinking I was carrying a dead baby again, now I’m starting to feel the same about this weeks scan. Why are we so horrible to ourselves. I just think nature is so clever but also so so cruel

@jellyfish2 I feel like I’ve been slowly picking up symptoms. My boobs have been really sore since about 4 weeks or so, and now they look huge. I get nausea on and off, mainly in the mornings before I eat and if I eat too much. I feel so tired now, evenings I just feel like I have no energy. But that’s about it for me! I’m 7+3.

@ELJ1502 glad you’re on the home straight with school and that you have a scan this week. Lots of scans this week I think!

@Rockyslife I’m so sorry you’re feeling anxious. Something that is really helping me is to remember how little control I have over things. It may not help too much but I find for me it’s helping to put my anxiety aside a bit. I’m going by the ethos of assuming everything is okay unless I hear otherwise. It is hard though to even vaguely trust your body 💜

I am in the same boat. I keep getting triggered so many times a day. I just want to say to my belly "grow baby grow, be healthy and happy, make me happy, I'm so proud of you" 🥺 I hope they can hear me

I’m feeling the same. I keep having niggles that something isn’t right but I have zero reason to have these thoughts other than what happened in the past. It’s so hard to let go of that

Do we have any scans today? 😊

I don't have a scan but booked a scan for next week. I am still spotting and having been triggered by MC stories, I don't really know what else to do but book a scan, not that it will eliminate anxiety or make a difference. Anyone else worried and booking scans? I feel so guilty sometimes having scans, it's like I can't trust the embryo and my body, but I do! I just need a little something to keep going, at least for the day.

@purplecolouroffunk I'm waiting to see what date my 12 week scan will be. I'm terrified to go for a scan to find out bad news. I'm torn because I feel like ignorance is bliss but if it was bad news then would I just be prolonging things again? Like last time baby had died 4 weeks before my scan which is just awful to think about. Don't know what to do.

@Lemonbalm8 sorry to hear you're still spotting. Is the epu scanning you?

I have a scan booked for next Wednesday. I mentioned my spotting and clots to the midwife at my booking appointment and she asked EPU to call me.

They originally asked me to go today but I asked her if I could go next week as I will be 8 weeks and it will be to the same day last time around that we found out our baby no longer had a heartbeat.

I have days of some symptoms, then some feeling fine. This weekend I switched from constipation to the other way and no appetite. Bloating went completely and I was convinced it was all over. I'm now bloated and constipated again and getting the sudden hunger urges. I really am trying not to fixate now on symptoms because the only way to truly know is have the scan.

I completely relate to wanting to bury your head in the sand, I really was reluctant to book this EPU scan next week but I think it would reassure me timeline wise if it is positive news. I really am preparing for the worst news but trying my best to distract myself and stay calm in the lead up and look after myself.

@jellyfish2 I completely understand and relate to the dilemma you're in at the moment. I think as hard as it is, try to just go with your gut, and not put too much pressure on yourself to make the decision.

It seems like a massive decision for ourselves and protecting our peace, but physically and in the grand scheme of things, nature is on its own timeline. We just need to go with what feels right when that feeling gets to us❤️

EPU will scan me another time in 2 weeks but they found a small hematoma on Monday, which helps me understand that spotting may come from there. But in the meantime, I guess I decided I need another one next week 🙈 it's really hard to decide whether to have a scan or not. I'm usually a decisive person but I'm constantly conflicted now.

Is anyone having cravings or go to food? I really want candy kittens watermelon sweets 🤤

I’ve just had this mucus discharge I am so scared I’ve not had anything at all this pregnancy.

This is spotting, brown and yellow. I've had this for nearly a week (with a much worse red blood with clot on Fri and Sat), my scan was ok on Monday though I'm still stressing every day. It's so scary isn't it, anything less than normal but this is normal, I've had it in a successful pregnancy.

@Lemonbalm8 it makes your heart wrench doesn’t it. Literally felt sick as was not expecting it. I guess I’ll keep an eye and pray all is ok on Friday x

@Rockyslife can you contact epu and get seen sooner than Friday?

After us talking about scans, I got my date through and I'll be 10 weeks on that date as per me calculating ovulation. They've said they have to go by my period so I know it'll be too early. What will happen? Will they ask me to come back if I'm measuring 10 weeks? On the NHS Scotland website it says dating scan is between 11-14 weeks.

@Rockyslife I've had all colours, peachy colour, pink, mainly brown and also quite a decent sized red clot over the past week. It's stopped now, back to clear but not much of it, which is also making me worry, can't win!

From what I've read, the creamy tinged discharge actually can be a normal discharge for a lot of people in pregnancy. I can definitely see why this would be so triggering though if you've not had anything so far. I think as long as it's not continuously bright red and filling up pads, there apparently isn't much to worry about.

But I should take my own advice🙃 very triggering if you've had it in previous loss but as @Lemonbalm8 has experienced, can happen in successful pregnancies too!

I wish we could fast forward time for us all 🥺❤️

Also the date they've given me is the due date I had calculated for the baby I lost in Feb 😢 I don't know if that's a good sign or not, I'm hoping it is 🩷🌈

We really should all take our own advice! It's so hard isn't it. I hope we all have successful pregnancies. 💞We've all dealt with enough shit!

@jellyfish2 100% I'm definitely guilty of not pouring the positive energy into myself in these situations and jumping to the worst case conclusion as a coping mechanism. We definitely should take our own advice more often! And we all deserve this after what we've been through you're SO right💖

I had a dream last night that I was told by a doctor that I have 'X disease' and I won't be able to have children. It was awful and when I woke up I, no joke, googled 'X disease' to see what would come up in case it was a sign 🤣 the vivid dreams are too much but it's just the brain coping.

@Rockyslife I've occasionally been having yellow mucousy cm as well. It's stretchy like ewcm but a bit thicker and more gummy if that makes sense - sorry tmi for any sensitive souls out there! I had it in my successful pregnancy too and I'm sure it's very normal. I think any discharge is fine as long as it's not accompanied by pain, itching or funny smell so hopefully all good! Xx

@Lemonbalm8 I know what you mean about the MC stories. I've had to stop reading things like that because it makes me so worried and feel too negative. I booked an 8 week scan weeks ago which is on Sunday. I mainly did that because I couldn't bear the thought of waiting to hear bad news at 12 weeks. I'm sorry about your spotting. Does knowing there's a hematoma reassure you about it a little?

@Beks96 I'm glad you have a scan booked in! I think that's a great idea delaying til 8 weeks. It's tough but I think the wait will be worth it :) Totally know what you mean about symptoms. Tbh mine have all been so low level, I keep wondering if they'll kick in more seriously soon. Sore/big boobs are the only real constant I have, and even then my boob pain does seem to fluctuate during the day.

@jellyfish2 oh that is quite an early 12 week scan! So did you ovulate quite late but they're saying they need to go by your LMP dates? That's so annoying. Is there any way they'll let you shift it back a bit? Sorry you're in that situation - the last thing you need to be worrying about is a discrepancy in dates! Gosh that's such a coincidence about your due date milestone too. I'd take that as a good sign :)

@Rockyslife I wouldn't worry, that looks very normal to me :) I think we get all sorts of CM during pregnancy. It's frustrating that there aren't any hard and fast rules! But I'd say try not to worry too much unless you're getting some heavy, red blood 💜

@purplecolouroffunk I definitely think for me 8 weeks is a good time, like yourself I couldn't wait until 12 weeks it seems an eternity away, more now so that I've had my booking appointment too. Just seemed like a massive gap of waiting and not knowing, needed to break it up a bit.

My symptoms are so low level as well and I felt absolutely fine yesterday. My boobs are also very fluctuating, which is different to last time for me, when it was constant. I keep telling myself last time wasn't long ago and they've probably just snapped back from memory and don't need to stretch as much lol x