BFP after recent loss

[purplecolouroffunk]

Hello!

I know there are quite a few threads like this, but thought I’d start a new one for those of us going through this just now 🙂

I found out about my MMC at what should have been 7.5 weeks (no growth since 5). Had to have a D&C as my body wouldn’t let go. That was back in mid-April.

I’ve had one period since then and it now looks like I’m pregnant again! Can’t believe we’ve been so luckily to fall again so quickly.

Got a vfl yesterday at 10dpo and the line is a bit darker today at 11dpo. Pic attached has 11dpo at the top and 10dpo bottom. What a shock when I saw that line!

Anyway, I’m already feeling nervous about everything so I thought I’d make a space for people in a similar position to join. Maybe we can help to calm each others’ nerves a bit 💜

@Persipan So sorry to hear about your Dad 💙 it may be that the stress is making cramps/spotting worse and nothing else. I hope you’ve got lots of support around you

@jellyfish2 We’re in a state of nothingness too about the whole thing tbh. We don’t really talk about it, not because we don’t want to but because that makes it seem real and we don’t want to get too attached yet. It’s awful isn’t it 😔

It's so sad isn't it 😔 hopefully this will be our time x

Hi everyone, hope it’s okay to join. I’ve been reading through posts the last couple of days but only just being brave enough to join.

My story is slightly different to others. I have a beautiful 4yo DD - easy pregnancy - easy labour. We started TTC no2 in October 22 and conceived a year later. We booked an early scan for around 8 weeks and were told that there was a sac but nothing in it. They also said that it could be ectopic or a problem with my ovaries. It utterly petrified me and we were referred to the NHS. This scan told us that there was an empty sac but not evidence of other issues. We were sent away for 2 weeks as the sac didn’t meet the required measurements to be classed as a miscarriage. 2 weeks later, the sac was bigger and still empty. We were told I should have miscarried by this point (around 10-11 weeks); they then sent us for medical management. It’s always felt like such a strange place to be in because we didn’t lose a physical baby - but mentally we did. It felt like we weren’t allowed to be heartbroken by it.

We continued to try from January 24 and we got our positive test last Monday. I got a 3+ yesterday which felt a little more reassuring but I’m still petrified. I’m too scared to get excited or picture what might happen. My partner is supportive but it’s very hard for him too.

We’ve booked an early scan for 7+2 on the 20th before we go on holiday on the 29th. I feel I just need clarity around it before I can possibly think about anything else.

Sorry that is a long post. If anyone has any tips for stopping the panic… I’d appreciate it.

Welcome @ELJ1502 and tentative congrats on your pregnancy. I’m so sorry about your loss last year which was no less of a loss because it was a blighted ovum. A loss is a loss and they’re all devastating in their own right. I don’t have any tips on staying sane sadly, the last few weeks have been an absolute roller coaster of emotions and I’m constantly anxious. I know sone people find the datayze website helpful with the stats, but I think my brain is hardwired to expect the worst now 😖

@torturedpoet13 - I’ll be 7 weeks on Thursday too. I don’t have an appointment, but my local EPU is self-referral and they’ll see you for an early scan if you’ve had a miscarriage. Keep wanting to put it off, but we’re going on holiday on the 19th and want some time to digest if it’s bad news again / they need to rescan me. I keep imagining how it will go and don’t know how I’m going to cope between the bit when they start scanning and they tell you what they can see.

@jellyfish2 I think you can turn it off if you go to the watch settings in your watch app. I looked at my heart rate stats from my successful pregnancy and they seem as erratic as this one so trying to to let that reassure me (for now).

Welcome to @ELJ1502 and I'm so sorry for your loss. I completely agree with Bubbles - a loss is a loss and they are all valid and devastating, regardless of the specific circumstances. Congratulations on your BFP and I hope this is a straightforward and healthy pregnancy for you, just like your first was. That's much more likely to be the case than not; try to hang onto that but I know it's easier said than done. I also have a daughter and I find her amazing for keeping me sane. Often too busy to think about things too much, and so grateful for her that it keeps me grounded. Other than that, talking to someone might help. If you have a good friend or family member you can confide in to share your worries. And of course this thread! It's been really helpful. I had a bleed last week and I didn't post about it till later in the day. The amount of reassurance I got from all these wonderful women was incredible and I wished I'd posted earlier as I might not have been going so crazy in my own head if I had. And looking after yourself. I should really practice what I preach, but self care is super important ❤️

@ELJ1502 what an ordeal, I'm sorry for your loss. As soon as you see the BFP you imagine your life with that child so your experience is just as devastating.

@Bubbles19818 I don't think the one I have you can switch off. I've taken it off now as it's stressing me out, it went down 2bpm this morning. Then I took another easy at home test at 7.30 which looks the same as yesterday so I'm now worried. Although I went to the toilet at 3.45 could that have affected it?
I know I'm probably acting a bit crazy but I just feel so irrational at the moment 😢

Hey @jellyfish2 , I don't think my easyhome got dark until 16 dpo, I think I stopped doing tests at that point, then took one at 20 dpo which was start of a dye stealer, then I stopped. They're really slow to get darker, and for sure I had days where I had same line as the day before and once even lighter! I didn't have any symptoms, so didn't even go to pee at night, so it was stressful!
@ELJ1502 I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope for a healthy and happy pregnancy this time. I also had a really easy pregnancy and birth with my 3 year old, then started trying Jan 2023 and since then had 3 losses. My last mc was last year and I think that time has given me space to deal with them. They all happened in the space of 9 months. I found out after that I have a blood clotting condition and I'm better off doing IVF with genetic testing next time, and while waiting to start that in July, I fell pregnant naturally. IVF wasn't meant to give me better success, just faster success and less miscarriages. I have been calmer in this pregnancy just because I feel like there is absolutely nothing I could have done better in terms of medication and support, and there is nothing I could do now, the outcome is determined. All I pray for is apart from having the luck to have a successful outcome, if something bad happens, for it to happen before going much further. But that's outside my control, so I just keep going day by day. Not every day is easy, but it has been the calmest I've been (still anxious though!)

Hey lovely ladies. I’ve been over thinking about my scan last week. According to my app I should have been 7 weeks 5 days they dated me 7 weeks 1 day and said it is ok and normal and that I could have just ovulated a few days later. But I have just looked on my app and we didn’t dtd again after for it to of even been a later ovulation if that makes sense? I am really stressing myself out now.

@Rockyslife My understanding is that up to 5 days is normal, as it's so hard to measure this early. Did they mention anything about heartbeat rate?

@jellyfish2 - I had the same as Lemonbalm with my easy at home strips just not getting that dark until 16/17dpo and no real dye stealer until 21dpo. Didn’t stop me daily testing with them, but from everything I frantically googled online and from our chats on here it seems like it’s super common. I actually ended up paying to get private HCG draws 3 times as I drove myself crazy with the test lines. Not sure the bloods helped me much either tbh, I think our brains will find something to be worried about regardless of whether it is actually concerning or not. PAL is hard.

@Rockyslife i would try not to worry. Early dating scans can be easily off with measurements as the baby is so small at that stage (it’s why the dating scan is done at 12 weeks). Also sperm can live inside you for up to 5 days so when you had sex isn’t reflective of when you conceived necessarily. Were you tracking your cycle using LH tests?

@Lemonbalm8 no I didn’t know that they would have different rates etc, she just said the baby had a good heart beat and nothing abnormal was seen and that’s all she could kind of say at this point x

@Bubbles19818 ahh yes I forgot that sperms can live for days after. We had a mmc in April and weren’t actively trying so I wasn’t even logging anything I just logged out ddt dates incase it happened, fingers crossed that’s just what it is. Thank you for your message it’s helped ease my anxiety x

@Bubbles19818 @CosmicLove @jellyfish2 @Lemonbalm8 thank you for your kind words and positive thoughts.

I am trying to focus on how lucky I am to have my daughter and just staying positive.

I think it’s hard like @Bubbles19818 said. I’m hardwired to be a worrier. 🙈

I find myself constantly comparing this time to before both positively and negatively. It’s a strange experience isn’t it.

I hope everyone is feeling okay today. :)

Morning ladies, I had my rescan following the bleed last Thursday and pleased to report that all looked fine. Foetal pole has grown and measuring 6+2 now, with heartbeat still present. I still feel just as worried but need to try and stay positive. They've booked me for rescan on 25th which is the day after we come back from holiday. Need to try and just relax and enjoy our holiday but it's hard! Xx

Congratulations! I had an early miscarriage in May and have just got my bfp this morning 🌈 🥰

@Lemonbalm8 @Bubbles19818 thanks so much. I can't believe how difficult I'm finding this, part of me just wants to try and forget I'm pregnant and get on with daily life until I'm further on. I know there's nothing I can do but still a worry and I'm glad you understand! Hopefully it is just those tests.

@CosmicLove that's great news! Yeah focus on having a grest holiday 🥰 where are you off to?

@Jessica1993x congratulations! How many dpo are you?

@CosmicLove that's great! Sounds like bleeding was just some blood from the scan coming out! 🤞🏻Hope now you can enjoy the holiday a bit more knowing at least things are going in the right direction.
We might book a holiday end of August, before the pre school starts. I miss good weather, I got cold/flu last night, and am barely functional today, but have to work.

Good news about the scan @CosmicLove, now go and enjoy your holiday! You deserve it x

Congratulations @Jessica1993x 🥰

@Persipan I am so very sorry to hear about your dad. What a tough and anxious time you are going through. I am sending you all of the love and hugs 💜

Welcome @ELJ1502! I'm so sorry to hear your story and that you find yourself here too. You are absolutely valid in your feelings - it is as much as loss for you as for anyone else. It's the loss of all the hopes and dreams, and the bond you make with your pregnancy 💜 Gentle congratulations on your new pregnancy!

Welcome to @Jessica1993x!

@CosmicLove so so happy to hear your scan went well today 💜 You deserve that holiday!

Thank you @jellyfish2 @Lemonbalm8 @MrsB2019x @purplecolouroffunk ❤️
I am relieved but it's hard not to catastrophise all the time! We're away to Spain on Sunday for 10 days and very much in need of the break. I've already got my compression stockings looked out for the flight! 😂

Welcome to @Jessica1993x and sorry for your previous loss. Fingers crossed for a healthy pregnancy this time 🤞 xx

@CosmicLove fantastic news about your scan. I hope you can have a lovely holiday and relax a little.

Thank you @purplecolouroffunk you’re right. I think you start to imagine their life and yours even from the positive test. I’ve tried to hold it back this time but I think it’s just natural.

@ELJ1502 thank you lovely ❤️

Scanxiety is kicking in big time tonight 😩 luckily it’s at 8:50 tomorrow so won’t have much waiting around in the morning. I think my husband is anxious too, he has seemed a bit flat today.

Anyone else got a scan coming up this week?