BFP after recent loss

[purplecolouroffunk]

Hello!

I know there are quite a few threads like this, but thought I’d start a new one for those of us going through this just now 🙂

I found out about my MMC at what should have been 7.5 weeks (no growth since 5). Had to have a D&C as my body wouldn’t let go. That was back in mid-April.

I’ve had one period since then and it now looks like I’m pregnant again! Can’t believe we’ve been so luckily to fall again so quickly.

Got a vfl yesterday at 10dpo and the line is a bit darker today at 11dpo. Pic attached has 11dpo at the top and 10dpo bottom. What a shock when I saw that line!

Anyway, I’m already feeling nervous about everything so I thought I’d make a space for people in a similar position to join. Maybe we can help to calm each others’ nerves a bit 💜

@MrsB2019x @Lemonbalm8 thank you. I know I’m being silly, but I think cause I read that you can sometimes see a HB at 5+5 that it’s just making me panic. Worried that I feel reassured for now but that we’ll go back next week and won’t see a HB (cause there never was one) and it’ll be all over.

How is everyone doing today? 💜

I've got everything crossed for you next week, it's a good sign that fetal pole was there 🙏🏻

I'm good, I've just let the house fall apart, so trying to do laundry, dishwasher and cook something all in the next hour while my partner takes care of our son.

Is anyone carrying their toddlers? I think it should be ok, just overthinking with my worries. Also get really worried of being kicked in the belly, he has abundant energy 😀

Does anyone have any holidays booked for the summer? We're away to Spain a week tomorrow for 10 days and I'm beginning to feel a bit nervous about it 😔 although I'm sure the break will be nice ☀️

@Lemonbalm8 that’s true. And I guess good that the dates are bang on. I’m further than I was last time now so that’s good. I also have a bunch of house stuff to do today and cba 😂 My partner is away so I just want to sit on my arse all day, eat, and watch Netflix.

@CosmicLove Spain sounds lovely! We’ve already been on a couple of holidays this year, so probably won’t be going anywhere this summer. Maybe a wee camping trip, and have a few weddings. We’re also in the process of buying a house so need to watch the spending 😅

On the house buying thing… totally different topic, but has anyone ever had an offer accepted by sellers who hadn’t found a house to move to yet?

I haven't personally but know people that have. Have you signed missives yet? Do you have an entry date agreed?

Yeah I’m still carting around my almost 3 year old! I will for the duration I think. If we get that far I’ll be having an ELCS so won’t be able to carry her for ages 😢

We’ve just had our mortgage approved so still at quite an early stage. We haven’t set an entry date yet since the sellers are still looking for their property. We’re really not sure what sort of date to set - we don’t want to scare them off but also don’t want them to take the piss either.

We agreed to be flexible as part of our offer (FTBs) but now it’s slightly scary since if everything works out there will be a pretty hard deadline. Definitely want to be in by the end of the year absolute minimum so I can nest 😂

I’m also thinking after the 12 week mark (🤞) we’ll tell them I’m pregnant and hopefully that’ll help expedite things…maybe. Or is that a bad idea?! Don’t need this stress right now 😅

I've told my sellers I'm pregnant when making an offer 😂 that was how innocent it was back when I had my son, I found out that day and told them when we made an offer that day. I thought it makes you come across as a serious buyer. If anything had happened, I don't feel like I've had enough contact with them to talk about my private stuff, but it made them consider all our deadlines etc. still I moved in about 3 months before due date. I've since moved/bought house another time, without chain, it took us 6 months to get from offer to entry for both houses. I think Scottish property markets might be more sensible and efficient?

They're so heavy now. Also with all the emotions, it's so hard to not carry them when they're having tantrums in public. No idea how it will be as we go along...

@purplecolouroffunk I can't see any harm in telling them. Ultimately you need to be in the property in good time as things you can do easily now may become harder the further along you go. When I was pregnant with my daughter in 2022, we had an offer accepted on a house in the May and completion date set for July. I was due 2nd December so thought that would be plenty of time, but we got some things fixed and the house redecorated etc and it was October by the time we were actually ready to move in properly. I remember being useless from 36-38 weeks because of terrible sciatica which meant I could only walk very slowly and with a limp. I was huge. If I were you I'd be keen to get a timeframe agreed asap and probably wouldn't want to be moving any later than November. I think that's reasonable. Might also be good to get contract signed soon too, as I believe that either party can walk away until that point which you definitely don't want!

@purplecolouroffunk do you have a good solicitor? If so maybe talk to them about your new circumstances and they can advise / advocate for you xx

Thanks @Lemonbalm8 and @CosmicLove! It’s interesting to hear your experiences.

Lemon you’re right actually. Even if anything happens, it’s not like I even have to tell the seller or our solicitor cause we’re moving regardless of whether my pregnancy continues or not. And you’re right, things happen pretty quickly here once properties have been offered on etc. I just hope they don’t buy from someone who also has yet to find somewhere or it could take forever!

Cosmic - good advice, thank you. I’d absolutely love to be in there by November. Originally we were thinking of setting a 31 October date and putting in a review date just before that so we can extend a bit if they need to.

I’m so conscious that if everything works out, time will fly by and I’ll be huge by the time we move. Hate the idea of being useless and also want plenty time to make sure everything is set for the baby.

Our solicitor is okaay but he’s very easy oasy about things and says stuff like ‘We won’t really have any updates from them until they find somewhere’. but I feel like I kind of want reassurances they’re viewing etc. It’s a small town firm so they don’t really have that more urgent thing the city solicitors do. Maybe I’ll call and explain the situation next week.

I’d even thought about reaching out to the owners directly - we met the wife when we viewed and she seemed lovely. They have two young children so she may be able to empathise. But it’s tricky though cause she might see it as pushy and walk away. We LOVE the house and don’t want them to pull out cause if we have to find somewhere else it will be even more stressful, and likely take even longer than completing on this one. We saw 16 houses before we saw this one!

Ugh.

Hi everyone, hope you're all okay! I was just wondering if anyone knows - if you're under a consultant at the recurring miscarriage clinic does anyone know if they scan you more regularly or just the once to check all is okay then discharge you? My mum is coming with me (🤣 I'm an adult I swear) to ask them if they will scan me at least once a month (doubt they would though) to help with my anxiety after 4 miscarriages including a MMC and a blighted ovum. Just wondering what the protocol is really x

I'll be scanned every 2 weeks.

We moved house second time because we hadn't considered the schools so much. It was next to good ofsted school, but it turned out not what we wanted.
The other thing is telling solicitors about pregnancy later on might trigger new mortgage application due to change of circumstances, so unless if affects you affordability, I'd do it either earlier or not say at all. We opted to hide it from everyone except the sellers.

@Lemonbalm8 that's the other great thing about this house - it’s so close to the little village primary school.

Oh that’s a really good point! We definitely wouldn’t want to have to do another mortgage application. Maybe I won’t mention it to our solicitor then.

Can I ask how you got in touch with your seller? I have no contact details for them (obv apart from address haha) as all communication is going via our solicitor to theirs.

Hi ladies can I join?
11dpo and got a positive test today. Very apprehensive as it's #2 but had a MMC in Feb, had to have surgical management after finding out at the 12 week scan baby had no heartbeat.
Forth Valley is my trust too! I'm going to cross my fingers that everything is ok and phone begging for an early scan as I'm so traumatised about that scan day and the whole experience really. I'm wondering how likely this will be as I've 'only' had one MC but like I say it was so awful and I've been anxious about even falling pregnant again because of it.

Ah this was when we made the offer through estate agent. Solicitor also represents the bank, so they have to tell these types of info but estate agent should be ok I think. We always reached out through estate agent.
That's so great about the school, sounds perfect!

Welcome @jellyfish2 I'm so sorry for your loss. That must have been beyond devastating to find out at your 12 week scan when you're expecting everything to be okay. I can completely understand why you'd be looking for an early scan this time. Huge congratulations on your BFP and what a small world that we're both in Forth Valley! I've also had one previous loss - a MMC in April. An EPU nurse told me they don't do reassurance scans but they will scan if any pain or bleeding and their "threshold is very low". In other words if you called them with anything like cramps or spotting, and explain your anxiety surrounding your previous loss, I'm sure they would go ahead and book you in. Just be aware they won't scan before 6 weeks. Maybe you could call them during week 5 and see if they'd be okay booking you for the following week? ❤️ xx

@Lemonbalm8 so we don’t seem to have any access to an estate agent. I wonder if that’s cause we’re in Scotland and everything goes through solicitors here. I reached out to the person on their end who negotiated the sale but she advised me to ask our solicitor to speak to their solicitor. Nightmare.

I’m not sure how we’d even get hold of the sellers email so I think direct contact might be out of the question. So annoying though as that would be by far the fastest way to come to an agreement. Would it be weird to ask my solicitor to ask their solicitor if we can keep in contact directly? Spose worst they can do is say no.

Welcome @jellyfish2! I’m so sorry to hear your story. It’s very similar to mine 💜

After my MMC in April (I’ve just had one too) the EPU said they wouldn’t be able to offer an early scan unless I’d had 3 miscarriages, sadly. They said if I had any bleeding or pain that they’d be able to see me, though.

I did have some spotting this week and they got me in for scan right away which I was super appreciative of.

P.s. nice to see another Scot!!

You could probably find out who the estate agent is by looking at the listing online and then contact them directly xx

@CosmicLove we do actually know who the estate agent is but we’ve never been given a contact there (apart from the negotiator who apparently doesn’t know anything about their search). It's annoying. Their solicitor also works at the estate agent and that’s who our solicitor has been in contact with.