September 2024 - Thread 8!

[SpicyMoth]

Continuation from thread 7 over here; https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5070517-september-2024-thread-7?page=40

Can't believe we filled the last thread up already feels like it wasn't even made that long ago, gosh time is absolutely flying by!!

@WinsandSam - I'll have to ask about CBT for sure, thanks so much for the recommendation - maybe I'll actually get some help seeing as I'm pregnant!

I've been trying to get mental health support for... Well to be honest since teen-hood and realising my daily crying was not in fact "just my period/puberty" as every doctor told me it was (all males ofc, typical 🙄) so I don't hold out much hope if I'm being honest.
I originally wanted to wait until my MH was sorted before ttc, but after over a decade I was running out of fertile time frankly, so here I am still with crazy anxiety and emotional dysregulation, but what can ya do?! 😅

@HRP1990 those bookshelves are so cute! Ahh how did your daughter take to the bed after a cot? Was it a big deal for her?

Yes I definitely need a chair for night feeds even if this isn't the right one. It doesn't come with a footstool so there's a thought too.

I won't get any maternity leave as I'm a self employed bookkeeper (wfh 2 days a week) we've finally decided we're going to muddle through and see how we get on for the first few weeks (despite it being middle of harvest potentially!) and then decide how many hours we need a nanny for. We must be mental. That reminds me I need to go on the childcare.co.uk website and see how quickly available some are or not ....

She’s always been a great sleeper so we’ve not had any issues transitioning thank god. A lot of people told us we were mad to do it so young (she was 2 in March) however I don’t want her to go through too much change before the baby is here, so it was worth getting that sorted early.

I’m also self employed and relying on £600 from the government for 9 months doesn’t go along way down south lol, so I’ll be working also! See how you go, newborns do tend to sleep a lot, but then you’ll also need to rest up too 🫶🏼

We bought a Snuzpod, sadly not reduced in Prime day but for £127 I thought it was good value as I haven’t seen any that low anywhere else.

I too have never heard of a risk assessment needing to be done before going on maternity leave. Isn’t the point that it’s based on identifying hazards in the workplace?

I experienced my first set of hiccoughs this evening! ☺️

@HRP1990 that's brilliant, hopefully your next little one will sleep so well too.

It's not worth me submitting a claim for anything because I'll be working from a few weeks (if everything is okay) with working for a sole trader mostly. Pants just for this upcoming chapter but it's really great 90% of the time so I can't complain. Will be plonking little missy in a nursery around 6 months I think for a few days.

I got this bad boy, won't be used for a while but I couldn't resist!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CPHY65DK?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details

Also a bunch of other misc baby things, ended up spending about £120

Is it worth getting one of those baby wrap things? I have a sling already that my mum gifted me for going hands-free-baby, but honestly it looks a tad complicated and uncomfortable being on one shoulder rather than two like the wraps - but then the wraps only really look suitable for newborns, I can't imagine them being very useful after a few months when wee ones get bigger as the material doesn't seem particularly strong >.<

There's so much conflicting info out there as well, I thought baby walkers were a great idea, but I've just today found out that they're a safety hazard and can cause developmental delays?!!

And cot bumpers also are apparently not safe?

It's all so SO confusing for a first timer >.<

@SpicyMoth if you want a sling for baby I would recommend a close caboo. My eldest was very much a Velcro baby and the caboo was so easy to put on and slip him in. Loads second hand on Vinted too. I had an Ergobaby 360 carrier for when he got bigger but I found this more difficult to get on without my husbands help.

I discovered today that when my mum put my snuzpod away she has pretty much broken it and something spilled on it too so now on the look out for a new next to me 😭 not sure whether to go for the snuzpod studio this time or try something different entirely - I make big babies and my daughter rolled early so she was out of the snuzpod before 4 months (which makes it even worse as the thing was barley used)

@SpicyMoth I think everything is subjective! Some babies like being in carriers/slings and some don’t! We never used a cot bumper, but I know people that have - I can see them being a hazard though whilst baby is so young. (Face being up against the fabric) Most people I know bought and used walkers but maybe hold off until they’re older to make that decision?

On another note, I’ve got an appointment to have a cast made of my bump tomorrow - you know like one of those busts that sit on the mantle/shelves? They take a 3D scan of your body, takes a couple of minutes to capture and then they send out the bust in a few months time. I did it with my daughter so I can’t wait to compare both pregnant versions of myself!

@xur thanks your replies have really helped. Been discussing with my husband whether to raise a grievance but I am concerned about raising things and ending on a sour note when I have enough stress with pregnancy and not long left before maternity leave. I may request a conversation with my manager and see how I feel after that but I can’t see him backing down tbh. My plan in any case is to spend the latter part of maternity leave finding a new job, be it internal or external (work policy confirms would be no claim back of maternity pay if I don’t return to work).

I’ve enjoyed seeing people’s purchases on Amazon today. Think I’m going to get a steriliser and a couple of sleeping bags, but I’m really unsure of tog for an end of August/start of September baby. I guess we aren’t in a massively warm country..

@Decaffe I’ve not seen it be carried out either, the one before maternity. However I know it is in the HR guidelines, and it’s mentioned in managers training programs but I don’t see the point of it either.
to be honest most companies do not do the risk assessment after maternity either unless the returning employee requests reduced hours or flexible working, but even if that is the case it’s often discussed not in a form of a post partum risk assessment. I will do mine post partum solely to limit stress from work. I want to be able to say no more often, because my free time will be spent with my family.

@Khanga27 You’re welcome, you can have a mediated conversation with the said manager, in the presence of an HR representative or a higher manager. That way you could have the conversation, make it constructive and less personal. If your manager is clueless they might not know how to handle such conversations and having a mediator could help keep from turning into something out of proportion.

I’ve done a nice little Amazon prime order this evening too, ended up spending about £50 just on little “bits” nothing too essential 😂 also got the 15% baby wish list discount and the free nappy bin so it was a win win!

My Amazon prime day buys!! £130 spent not bad, scratched a few things like breast pump and carrier off the list!!

Also any tips for restless/cramping legs at night???? Struggling to fall asleep now everyyyyyy night! Driving me mad!!!!!! I have extra magnesium 😓😭

@TripleESept24 have you tried drinking tonic water before bed? That’s meant to help with the restless legs/cramps.

I absolutely despise Tonic water 😫🤮🤢

@TripleESept24 I have swapped to using magnesium spray and use it on my feet at night it's not perfect but it's the only thing that seems to be helping the leg cramps

My varicose veins are getting worse by the day, I'm only 31 weeks so dreading how bad they will end up :( has anyone else got them or had them? I am really hoping they will ease after birth x

Has anyone started washing clothes yet? I'm wondering whether to take advantage of the nice weather over the next few days to get them washed and dried on the line...or is it abit early 🤔 I still have 10 weeks to go...wondering whether to do it, or to hold off in hope we get some nice weather in August

@BeautyAndTheBump1 ive washed two bags so far. Defo make the most of the weather!

@BeautyAndTheBump1 are they new clothes you’re washing? Or secondhand/out of storage? I feel a bit like it’s a wasted task to bring secondhand out of storage to wash (presuming we do this to get rid of any dust/freshen them up?) to then store them again for 2+ months?? Maybe that’s just me 😂 I’ll wash mine with about 3 weeks to go I think, then straight into baby’s drawers/cupboards. Should anything happen before then, or we get horribly bad weather all of august, tiny clothes dry super fast indoors anyway so won’t be too much of a disaster.

@BeautyAndTheBump1 I’ve started to wash all the newborn and 0-1 white baby grows and vests. Mainly as I wanted to pack those in my hospital bag. I figured if I go into labour early, at least we’ve got clean basics to start off with!

On washing stuff, is it just clothes, bedding and sleeping bags we need to wash?

Or should I wash little soft toys, the playmat and the Tripp Trapp newborn attachment cover too? I bought all these things new. The Tripp Trapp cover has a slight packaging smell to it.

I didn't wash any of the playmats/toys/chair accessories @RosiePH - I think we can get a bit carried away when in reality the baba will be just fine. Wash what they're wearing and leave it at that I say.

I already washed all the stuff last month and now whenever I bring new clothes home I instantly put them in the washer as I’ve already put all the clothes into the chest of drawer and I don’t want to mix washed with unwashed.

I actually rang triage today morning. I had a random light period like cramp, the type of sensation we would be getting when we are about to come in, the day before or on the morning of oncoming period.
What was interesting was that this light cramp resulted me needing to go number 2!
I have had this before on a bad period when the cramp hits so hard to causes bowel movements but this time the sensation was barely there. The pain was nowhere near a period cramp that would cause bowel movements for me.
I wasn’t sure what to make of it so I rung triage to find out if it’s normal. Been told if it doesn’t drag on, doesn’t become more intense, does involve any bleeding or loss of amniotic fluid then it’s apparently normal. I did ask the lady on the phone if she knew what Braxton Hicks feel like, she said she had never been pregnant so she wouldn’t be able to tell. I was wondering wether it was a Braxton hick.
The cramp hasn’t returned, my digestive tract feels a bit sensitive, but other than that I am fine. Last day at work before maternity today, I am being showered with gifts today, my table is in flowers, so cute 😻