Pregnancy after loss part 2

[LER2023]

After the lovely Hopingrae had created such a wonderful thread.

I wanted to carry this on, as many more women need that added extra support.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?page=1

Hope everyone can find some support on this thread x

@Hopingrae how are you doing?

@onnaturescourse all settled now thankfully! Thanks for checking in :) Been feeling a bit ropey today, think I definitely over indulged last night.

@Hopingrae I'm glad! With all my labours a upset tummy was the first sign!

Hi everyone - just wanted to check in how everyone is doing?

I'm 31+3 today and main symptoms bothering me are very breathless, constipated (I'm on iron tablets for anaemia), exhausted, grumpy and feeling a bit low.

I've been discharged from the preterm clinic (cervix looking Great) so that's good news. Otherwise there has been a fair bit of anxiety this pregnancy - bacterial vaginosis, thrush, proteinuria, and over the last 10 weeks I've been exposed to slapped cheek syndrome, COVID 4 times, and now flu. I feel I've been under siege and never seem to be able to relax without family or colleagues coming down with these illnesses.

I've been solo parenting our son the entire pregnancy while my husband studies for exams, builds a shed office (to free another bedroom) and repeatedly gets ill. He has the flu now but still wants to run a half marathon this weekend... It's not his fault but I've had no support this pregnancy at all. I'm knackered. Childcare for the actual birth is fragile as my sister is having a nervous breakdown at work, my mum is 6-8 hours away, my mother in law is awaiting a cti for chronic headaches which worsen and haven't gone away in months, and my sister in law is in chronic pain.. the support network is very much non existent ATM..

I'm still waiting for consultant to let me know at 38 weeks whether I can attempt a vaginal birth or whether it'll have to be planned caesarean. As the time gets closer I'm dreading a caesarean, especially with my iron levels so low. But I'm trying to just focus on baby girl getting here safe.

We got a wonderful scan phot the outer day of her face and she feels very very real now. We've decided on Sorcha as a name (pronounced Circa)...

Hope everyone is doing ok. Is anyone as fed up as me? I reckon maybe it's common to be restless at this gestation...

I wonder if babies have been born to this thread now?!

Sending love, luck and babydust to you all xx

Ps I sent babydust to my cousin who was going through fertility struggles at Easter. A few weeks later she conceived! Babydust is real :) xx

@OnNaturesCourse how are you getting on with the proteinuria? I've been having blood teste and my protein/creatinine levels are "borderline" apparently. I'm sick of being stuck with needles at this point.. I only have one good vein to....

@SnookyPook and @Traitors2024 massive congratulations on Samuel and Kai! Amazing to see 2 babies on this thread already :) who will be next??

@MOGMOGMOG85 I'm 37+2 now and I can really relate to lots of the feelings you've mentioned. Third trimester is a hard slog, especially with another DC. I feel guilty for saying it but I treasure the days my DS1 is at nursery!

That's so tough on you if your DH hasn't been as available for support, especially if your wider support network is a bit diminished atm. Do you have any friends locally you could call on? Sounds like you've had lots going on with health and family worries! A real worry of mine pre labour is getting DS looked after when the time comes as well. I was chatting to a friend who recently had her second and she said she felt very anxious before hand about that too. Think often we're all sharing similar worries!

Hopefully you'll avoid the lurgies that are circulating, I've just had covid at 36 weeks and I had a couple of bed rest days but it was just like a heavy cold really so even if you did catch something hopefully it wouldn't cause you any major issues. I have definitely found time is passing quickly this trimester, we're nearing the finish line!!

Hi @Hopingrae - thanks for your reply. It's actually really good to hear that others might be experiencing the same feelings in this last trimester! Worries about childcare for the older child (probably tied in with a bit of worry about them not being your "baby" anymore, and realising that everything is going to change for them, and your little family as you know it is ending and a new family is beginning - if that makes sense!). Worries about stupid test results... Being under so much scrutiny this time is a mixed blessing - glad I'm being overlooked but every time a result comes back it seems they want to do more tests and low level you worry even though there is no outward reason to worry..

It is a hard slog isn't it. Totally fed up of being pregnant now and just want her here.

You are so close to the end now @Hopingrae - do you know what youre having? And do you have one or more already at home? Xx

It's also good to speak to pregnant women as my boss and my husband have absolutely no idea and you can feel quite misunderstood without anyone around you going through the same thing.

Has anyone been in for reduced movements? I seem to want to go at least once a week. It seems she will stop moving at a time when I'm already anxious about other things. Pretty sure they must have me flagged up as an anxious woman at my local unit, although they are always so lovely.

Can't believe I've still got 8 weeks to go 🙄😔

@MOGMOGMOG85 I have a son who is 2 years 9 months old and I'm having another little boy 🥰
I've been in for reduced movements once at 29 weeks I think. I don't feel like little man has ever been in a regular pattern, but my DS wasn't either really. They always say to go on regardless, so definitely keep flagging if you have worries. Most people I know have been in at some point for reduced/ change of movements and all has been fine, they'd rather see you to make sure!

Hi ladies, i just wanted to share that my little boy arrived safely yesterday morning at 38+6, surprise early arrival! 💙 He's beautiful and we're home and getting to settle into being a family of 4. Thanks for all the support on these threads, I'm so glad I started the first one off, the hand holding and shared experience was so helpful in getting me through, especially in the early days. There is light at the end of this journey. Sending all the love to you all xxx

@Hopingrae ive just cried tears of absolute joy for you!! I remember right back at the beginning where you didn’t want to go for a scan as it was your husbands birthday! What an absolute journey. Sending you and your family so much love ❤️

I haven’t been on Mumsnet for a while but this is such a lovely update to read 🥰 congratulations to you and your family 💙

Congratulations lovely! So delighted to hear of the safe arrival of your little boy. He obviously didn't want you waiting and worrying any longer! 🥰 Enjoy the newborn snuggles 💗

Another boy! ✨️ such a lovely update!

Congratulations @Hopingrae! Such lovely, lovely news 🥰

Such lovely news @Hopingrae congratulations to you on your little boy. ❤️🎉

Lovely news, congratulations @Hopingrae 🥰 Hope you are recovering well. What does your little one think of their baby brother?

@Hopingrae do we have a name?

Congratulations @Hopingrae , such lovely news to hear about the safe arrival of your little one!

I’m 12+4 now and we had our 12 week scan on Thursday, followed by a check up with our obstetrician today. Baby was active and well, hoping that we continue to have another boring trimester. Thankfully we’ve got our 16 week scan and doppler checks booked in which offers some more reassurance. I’m on low dose aspirin too. I’m surprisingly not anxious as I thought I would be, perhaps that’s my coping mechanism right now.

Someone I’m close with is trying to conceive and I told her about my news recently. I felt about withholding until I was further along but didn’t feel quite right doing that. I don’t know if telling her now or later would have caused her more stress and upset. She’s not got back to me for a week and that’s understandable, she needs to protect herself first. I feel like we‘ve all been there ourselves and can relate to that.

@Ella31 how are you getting on?

Got a little emotional reading this! Congratulations!! Im so glad to have this update, since i dont actually read mumsnet much just because ive been stupidly busy, im so glad to come back and see this! Thank you for starting the first thread, because of you many of us probably wouldnt have much of a safe space to rant and cry and even ask questions so thank you so much for all your help and support in both threads and im wishing you and your lovely family well and im sending you so much love❤️xx

Hello. I'm good. I'm 14 weeks. Baby looking strong. How are you.

How wonderful. Congratulations. What lovely news to read this morning.

Congrats on passing the first primester!! Thats wonderful news.

Yeah i can imagine that mentioning that was really hard on both sides.
When i found out i was pregnant i was in the same boat as you, just felt numb to it, like i couldnt say i was enjoying it and i couldnt say i hated it because i just had no feelings towards it. Good job really because i took the 3rd miscarriage better than any other.

But it will be hard for your friend, TTC journey is SO difficult, i dread someone telling me theyre pregnant lol i already have 4 colleagues who are pregnant and thats hard enough.

I told my aunty yesterday about having 3 miscarriages yesterday, now that was a hard one, my auntys like another mum, and for me it was on parr with telling my mum the first time i was pregnant and how scared i was lmao
Im not even pregnant but telling my aunty gave me that relief after she asked me when id be trying again from my first miscarrage that she knew about. She never knew about the other 2.
My god my heart went into my mouth but her reply was amazing. 'It will happen in time, just let life take its course and you'll have your own little baby soon'

Me and my partner was just chatting yesterday, and we mentioned our first if we went full term would have been 2 soon enough!! And how id have been like Name sit down, you're so much like your dad hahaha. He replied no name would be in bed at this time it was 9oclock hahaha

Cant wait for the day that we have our first.

Hope you're all getting on okay🩷🩵