Pregnancy after loss part 2

[LER2023]

After the lovely Hopingrae had created such a wonderful thread.

I wanted to carry this on, as many more women need that added extra support.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?page=1

Hope everyone can find some support on this thread x

@MOGMOGMOG85 I have been on them since the beginning of this pregnancy. They're not that bad after a while, but I do moan a lot to my husband about my "butt drugs" 😂

@OnNaturesCourse I hope you get complete reassurance soon.

I think reaching the gestation of a previous loss is so emotionally difficult as a milestone, be kind to yourself 💞

@MOGMOGMOG85 Just counted and my bum adventure will be 97 days by the time I finish 🤣

Congrats @warmbutteredtoast

Ugh just had a phonecall from the hospital - I also have bacterial vaginosis and am now worried as that sounds like a risk for preterm birth..

I had that in my first, wasn't a major case but they gave me treatment (can't remember what it was) I was later on in pregnancy, and got to 38 weeks because I was induced for a unrelated reason. They will monitor you. Deep breathes. I know it's scary.

So we've got

@warmbutteredtoast on 97 days
@MOGMOGMOG85 on 100 days

... on the butt adventure countdown 😂

@warmbutteredtoast @MOGMOGMOG85 This might make you feel better about them

If anyone else wants a personalised bum sketch just let me know

On a serious note @MOGMOGMOG85 your story made me so sad and angry that your boss treated you that way, I hope you are no longer working there. I'm so sorry for what you and your baby boy went through. They are probably being precautious, I've been on progesterone for the last 7 weeks for no apparent reason and they want it to continue until at least 16 weeks then will review again.

Omg @Uguberry you've made my day that's so hilarious!!!

@warmbutteredtoast missed your last post - it does help to know I'm not alone lolol! I actually counted it'll be 108 days... But y'know I've not done it yet (after bedtime!) and maybe it's not so bad... Also considering my bodies reaction to the other entrance I'm worried it won't stay in either!

Glad I shared now as I hope it's given you all a laugh! Xx

@Uguberry HAHAHHAA!!! That really made me laugh! And makes me feel much better about it, you made it look so fun 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Uguberry that's amazing.

My bum adventure is 92 days long, bringing up the rear...

@Orlahoping Sorry I missed that you were part of the bum club 🍑

How many of you know the gender or will be finding out? I think I want to wait but not totally sure yet

@Uguberry

I want to find out but I'm scared to, found my loss at my gender scan last time. If I do find out it'll be at the standard 20 week scan.

I mean, it's the club everyone wants to be part of 😂🍑

@OnNaturesCourse It's tough having loss linked to a milestone you want to look forward to. Hopefully by that scan you will feel better about your progress and be able to enjoy the reveal 💕

@Orlahoping Right? I've been sending mine up the vag and now I'm thinking... should I try something new?

the last few messages on this thread have epic. I’ve been laughing (with love of course) about the bum episodes!!

😂😂😂

That would absolutely terrify me.

im very squeamish about that too.

TMI - my partner tries the back door to see if he can get lucky and I’m honestly nearly sick when he does. Hate anything going there, I don’t think it’s normal🤣🤣

does it always have to be through the back door?
can you not have something orally?

@LER2023 I can report that as others said it's really not as bad as I built it up to be!

But I'm with you on the husband that is not my cup of tea at all and it's just a no from me. We have no pleasure centres there???

Woken up feeling more worried about this bloody bacterial vaginosis. I'm 18+5 so still a long way to go to keep baby safe. I'm just gutted and almost feel like id prefer not to know. I have no symptoms they do swabs at the preterm clinic. I know it's a good thing they are monitoring me I just.... Now feel so worried about this baby girl.

I will be starting some medication tonight. I have to collect it today from hospital pharmacy and the staff there are the pits. I wish I'd asked more questions yesterday when the doctor called but I was driving and didn't really take much in. But essentially I'm already at risk and this furthers the risk. With my son my waters started a slow leak at 23 weeks and although I kept him in til 35 weeks the lack of fluid really prevented his lungs developing and even with the steroid injections and even although he is fine now it was a v stressful start with respiratory distress syndrome and CPAP and then laryngomalacia and sleep apnoea for 2 years.

So I've got all these figures in my head - 24 weeks to have some viability outside of the womb, but wanting to keep her in healthy amniotic fluid for as long as possible to help her lungs develop.

On the positive my cervix is twice as thick as it needs to be, super strong, and I will have more scans over the coming weeks.

Next milestone 20 week scan in 2 weeks, then the 24 week mark...

I'm not sure if I'm feeling less movement than I should. I've felt it since 16 weeks and I've started to understand some patterns for her but some days are better than others. And although I'm good at identifying movement after an anterior pregnancy with my son I'm worried it's another anterior placenta. I just don't want to have to worry so much about what I can feel knowing there is an infection risk to her.

Oh well I guess maybe this course of meds will sort out the bv and I guess if I need to I'll be going into the clinic for reduced movement as much as I need. I was in and out like billyo with my son and I felt like a fool but the final time it really was an indicator he was in distress.

Like @OnNaturesCourse said - deep breaths and just take it one day at a time I guess.

Xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 it's a lot to be having to worry about - especially when you're already having a more anxious pregnancy. I would really keep focused on the positives. It's great that they've diagnosed it, started you on meds and are keeping a close eye on you. Absolutely understand your fears and I have to say, the movement monitoring has been quite a stressful part of the pregnancy for me. It's such an easy thing to latch on to and overanalyze if you have any anxiety. However, one day at a time. You've got this. And it really doesn't matter how often you are in for monitoring etc. This is about the safety of you and your little one. Just do what you need to get through. 💗

Hi Ladies,

Hope you don’t mind me joining. I had a MMC in May this year and waited for 1 period before we started trying again. I tested 6 days before my period and got a BFN, today I’m 3 days before my period and got a BFP!! (Although the line is lighter than the control)

So worried it’ll end up as a chemical or I’ll suffer another MC. Did anyone else find out so early? Have your pregnancies after MC been successful?

It should be an exciting time but really it’s a terrifying time. I don’t want to get my hopes up incase anything goes wrong, but will continue to test for the next few days

Welcome @DogMom62. Gentle congratulations. I lost my first pregnancy earlier this year, an MMC too. It was devastating. I caught again after one proper period and am 15 weeks now. It's not been plain sailing but I am feeling hopeful.

Keep chatting here...it can be an anxious ride and it's good to have people who understand.

Hi ladies, hadn't updated since this message but have been reading along.

I've been an inpatient for 2 weeks now because after this post my waters started leaking and I was just about 22weeks. I was moved to a hospital with a level 3 NICU with the expectation that labour could start any minute. It's been a week and no signs of labour or infection and the last bleed was 2 days ago and now they want to send me home (3hrs away from this level 3 NICU) with the expectation that I monitor for signs of infection or labour and go to my local hospital (which can only deal with babies from 28wks so a transfer by ambulance would be required again).

I feel so conflicted about wanting to go home but also wanting to stay close to this hospital. @MOGMOGMOG85 - was it you that mentioned previously having contractions at 23 weeks? Any words of wisdom/reassurance?

@Traitors2024 I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I'm guessing they checked your fluid level and it's stabilised or it's ok or they wouldn't be sending you home with no fluid?

My waters started leaking slowly at 23 weeks although I thought it was pregnancy incontinence and didn't realise it until all the waters went (sometimes between 32 and 35 weeks) when it was picked up by a growth scan.

Are they offering you extra scans for fluid level?

It was explained to me that fluid can leak slowly and can even repair itself. Can you wear a pad so that you can monitor any dampness?

The contractions I felt were brief during the incident that I believe caused the leak but I never laboured - it was called PPROM which it sounds is what you have.

As I understand fluid levels are key and I really hope they are offering scans to monitor that. My baby lasted from 23 to 35 weeks in there with not as much fluid as he should have but enough until it was totally gone. He still was born with respiratory distress syndrome but those specialist units really are magic.
Sorry I can't be of more help - listen to the experts but also ask as many questions as you need. Go in for check ups as often as you need to and ask for extra scans - i think they should definitely offer this to you after what you're going through..

Take care of yourself and know that they have such excellent care for premature babies now.

Keep us updated if you can - lean on us, and if your baby is premature it will be a hard road ahead - but reach out to any other mums you know who've been through it. It's kinda like a special club - one that you don't want to be a part of but one that has a lot of people who know what it's like.

Sending all the strength for your little one to stay put as long as they can and all the positive thoughts for you to sit tight and stay sane whilst you go through this.

Oh a couple of post partum things - breastfeeding is gonna be very hard nigh on impossible with a preemie - my advice please don't push yourself too hard as your mental health will already be struggling. Be so kind to yourself, allow yourself to rest. There will be bank milk for babies who really need it.
Also I suffered badly with my mental health - know that antidepressants are available and there is no shame in taking them - it's an incredible amount to go through and my biggest regret was trying to cope on my own and not taking them sooner as they helped with bonding and made me feel myself again after so long.

:( not feeling very useful but stay strong and best wishes for you xx