Pregnancy after loss part 2

[LER2023]

After the lovely Hopingrae had created such a wonderful thread.

I wanted to carry this on, as many more women need that added extra support.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?page=1

Hope everyone can find some support on this thread x

Hi everyone 👋

I've been reading through this thread the last week and it feels like time to stop lurking.

I'm on my second pregnancy. 9 months ago we moved country so that my husband could get a better job and I would be lucky enough to leave work so we could start a family. I was previously self-employed and we wouldn't have been able to afford surviving in the UK on one salary 🥲 We were fortunate to become pregnant quickly, then had a loss in January.

My husband is currently away while I look after our four-legged family, and how about this for timing? He is missing our first anniversary, our 12 week scan, the stage I got as far as when I miscarried, and this is also when our first would have been due.

I know you understand how overwhelming it can be having these things overlap. The scan was last week and everything looked normal, but I've heard that before so it's still hard to get excited.

The funny thing is I had so much anxiety with the first pregnancy and wanting to feel prepared for any outcome, and even then the miscarriage was a total shock (from a normal evening at home to within an hour being in the emergency department and sent for a D&C). This time though, I feel like so much is out of our control, I'm just going along for the ride and seeing what happens. Some of your posts have already explained this beautifully so I won't try to add to it, but I can confirm this attitude has helped so much, and I am weirdly calm.

I'm excited to hear how everyone is doing at all the different stages you're at and will keep my fingers crossed for you all.

Thank you for reading, and sorry for the rambling, believe it or not I tried to keep it short!

If it helps, my 8 week scan measured 7 weeks 3 days. At the 12 week scan it was 12 weeks exactly. Whether it was difficult getting measurements accurate or growth caught up, if they aren't too concerned try not to be yourself

@Wise0wl morning, thanks for getting back to me. She did say at the stage they’re so small but my previous pregnancies that ended in mc were more correct size wise, it’s just put me on edge. I have another scan booked for a week on Friday so I guess I will know more then, just making me more fearful of the bad news if it is smaller than it should be at this stage

@Uguberry thank you for your response, she wasn’t concerned and did say at this point they’re so small etc it’s literally mm’s which determines the weeks etc, i just had a bit of a panic this morning when I’ve actually thought about my ovulation times

@Rockyslife I get it. I'd had a scan before that at 6 weeks 2 days and it only measured 1.9mm and no heartbeat yet. We were really worried when all the info indicates 5mm by that stage. Then I read about a comparison with a grain of rice, and if the rice is facing front to back you will only see a teeny tiny dot of the end of the rice, and none of the length.

I don't know anything about tracking size so I am probably totally wrong here, but given how inconsistent growth is for babies outside the womb, why do we expect them to progress at the exact same rate inside? I understand there is certain criteria that should be met by certain stages, but maybe it's okay for them to have a few days with little development, followed by a few days with a lot more

@Uguberry Yeah, you are totally right, when I have looked at how small they are right now, it's litrally crazy how small they really are at this stage. I guess I just have to put it to the back of my head as all we can do is wait, as we well know, it feels like I have known for ages already but feel so far away from getting to next Friday for my 9 week scan!

@Rockyslife Yeah it's amazing they can measure anything! I hope you can keep yourself distracted and time goes by quicker. Look after yourself 😊

Hi all hope your all okay, can't lie it hasn't been easy on my side, I'm on blood thinning injections (fun) and now I have gestational diabetes (super fun) I'm also feeling very anxious, low mood and run down, on a positive I'm 17 weeks and just found out I'm having a little boy 💙

@Mamaxo aw congratulations on little boy! 🥰 Sorry to hear things have been a bit tough. Is it tinzaparin? I'm on that too. Not the nicest jabs. Hope you're doing well. 17wks is fantastic. Do you have your date for the 20wk scan? X

@Rockyslife it's so hard not to worry. My first scan at 7+2 I measured 6+2 with a heartbeat. 35wks today. Try to keep hopeful! 💕

@Uguberry welcome! Sorry to hear what you've been through. Great that all was looking good with the scan. I know it's hard to relax into it still but it's so important to try and celebrate the wins as they happen. 💕 Hope you've been ok facing your original due date. That's tough too. Did you do anything to mark it? Sending a hug and hope all keeps progressing well for you - and that hubby returns soon!!

@SnookyPook i think it's called fragmin or something like that 😂 yeah my 20 weeks scan is at the end of july, felt baba a little bit like flutters but im not sure if I should be feeling them everyday now or if it's still to early, any idea? How are you getting on? Xx

@Mamaxo definitely early for that! Early to be feeling him at all so you're doing well! I think 24wks is standard for regular movements/noticing patterns. ☺️

Ok here thanks. Been quite a week. We decided to go for amniocentesis to (hopefully!) rule out genetic causes of our growth issues as everything else is looking ok and we decided it would be good to have answers in place close to his birth to remove additional worries if possible. So I had to have two steroid jabs over the weekend due to the slight risk of it inducing preterm labour and then had the procedure yesterday morning (at 35wks) which wasn't pleasant but at least is done now. We're not really expecting anything to be found from what they've discussed up until now but it suddenly made it all feel a lot more real and scary and now we're waiting for results I feel a bit up in the air.

Definitely on final countdown now though as it's likely we will be meeting him within 2-3wks which seems absolute madness! X

@SnookyPook oh wow, what a rollercoaster. Have they said how long it’ll take for you to get results? You are so, so close to the finish line now. When do you plan to finish work?

@Wise0wl I finished last week thankfully! Using up AL before Mat Leave officially starts on 22nd July. Was so done with it! Initial results should be with us by Thursday but then full micro-array may even be after he is born. But at least it means we can get some answers quickly without them having to prod and poke him once he's out. If there is anything out of the ordinary it means paediatrician can get involved asap. Obviously very much hoping it's nothing but it felt like the right thing to clarify at this point. Especially now the risks of the procedure are less etc.

Morning ladies.

Bit of a crazy night and my anxiety is through the roof. Going to vent here and hopefully feel better so I apologise.

Two nights ago I started having pains around my old episiotomy scar and inside of my leg, put it off with having been on my feet too much. Yesterday this creeps up to my stomach on the same right and it gets uncomfortable to sit etc so last night I phoned the hospital.

Took me in and run the usual urine test which came back as likely UTI but also showed a possible issue with my liver - raised bilirubin levels. They took bloods to check this and basically said if you don't hear from us via phone tomorrow take it as good news. So now I'm just pacing around waiting on the phone to ring, or not.

Nurse said it could be nothing or something really serious, ranging from gallstones to cancer. It's put my mind on overdrive.

I've been tested for gallstones last January and the scan was clear (I have on and off muscle type pain under my right rib and back still to this day) I had bloods to check my liver, kidney, iron etc back in January this year and all was well.

But I am PANICKING especially since I've had this muscle type pain for so long and now they have found stuff in my urine. I hate the waiting around and I'm already fighting the urge to call and chase it up. Playing on my mind that even if it's not anything dramatic, what could be causing the urine issues?

Not helping that I'm the exact same gestation today as I was when I birthed my loss this time last year. I just want to hide in bed all day.

Only plus I got was my cervix is OK (was worried due to pressure I was feeling) they didn't scan or check baby at all.

I thought getting checked at hospital would ease my mind but it's just given me more to worry about.

@OnNaturesCourse oh bless you that's a lot to have on your mind. And a really tough anniversary for you too. I imagine you'd be struggling today regardless of other things worrying you. Sending a massive hug and hope you're not waiting too much longer to find out all is ok with your health. 💕

@SnookyPook thank you. I gave in and phoned the ward where I've been told someone else is going to need to call me back to discuss the results which hasn't filled me with confidence.

I'm half tempted to phone DH and tell him to come home from work for the kids cos I'm in no best state for them today especially now.

@Mamaxo Congratulations on your baby boy, that's lovely news ❤️ I'm sorry you have to put up with those rubbish side effects, I hope with the right management you can find ways to adapt your favourite meals and still enjoy them.

@SnookyPook Thank you. I feel very pregnant thanks to the insane bloat but I forget there is actually something wriggling around in there at all times. It feels like the tum is getting ready but it's a while before a baby will magically appear in there 😂 Maybe that's a manifestation of denial and it will only feel real much later when there is movement! So exciting how close you are to meeting your little one, I hope you get the all clear and can enjoy these last few weeks. It's good they are taking it seriously and being very thorough, no matter what happens he will be in good hands.

@OnNaturesCourse Hope you get an update very soon. Could it be a good sign the longer you wait the less urgent it is to tell you? Though not helpful when you just want answers. If you can, call DH or anyone else close by for support with the kids and to have someone to talk to. I'm sorry you're going through this today of all days, and I hope the pain eases soon.

I just came on here to share with everyone that I've been prescribed an anal pessary until 34 weeks which is over 100 days and I'm feeling so sorry for myself! I don't wanna do it but the Dr said to so....

Doesn't sound pleasant. What is it for? Sorry I may have missed a previous post from you.

I'm still waiting on a call about my liver function.

I just got a call from the doctor who said my bilirubin level was a 4, normal levels are between 3 & 20 so they are actually pretty good. Been told it's a possibility that the dip stick has been read wrong or misinterpreted, or the colour has ran on it. But I am to get it tested at each midwife appointment now on dip stick, and all my bloods will now include a liver test so they can keep a eye on it now they've worried me silly.

@OnNaturesCourse you didn't miss a post I just came on here for sympathy and cos I can't moan to anyone else about my anal pessary really!

It's a progesterone pessary to thicken my cervical mucus due to risk of PPROM which happened with my son. Although I was being massively discriminated against by my boss with that pregnancy and was forced to use heavy full body vibrating machinery despite risk of placental abruption. I started having contractions at 23 weeks, feeling sick and dizzy, and despite anterior placenta could feel my poor son going absolutely crazy with the vibration (never felt him move like that in any other part of the pregnancy).

I noticed fluid leaking that week - to me in my heart it was that which caused the PPROM but since there is obviously no medical research into this the consultant wants me on the medication as a precaution. My cervix is looking fab and strong even they were surprised how good it looks...

Anyway took the pessary vaginally but my body has started rejecting it - literally pushing it out! So they've told me to through the back door and I'm super squeamish about anything to do with that so I've come on here for sympathy!!

I hope you're ok with your liver function - I haven't caught up on what's been happening? I do remember when you first joined and your incredibly difficult journey. So glad you're still on here - how far along are you now?

I'm 18+4 today.

@MOGMOGMOG85 oh, you're in the right place for a moan - I've used this for that reason too many times to mention!

I've had anal pessaries before, not pregnancy related, and it wasn't as bad as my head allowed me to think it was. I was mortified when I was told what I needed to do but it became easy, just part of the day really.

My liver function etc all look good from the bloods. I'm hoping it's just been a misread dipstick but I'm happy they are taking notice and will keep a eye on it. Hearing my bloods are OK has calmed me down a bit, I've been anxious since last night waiting to hear.

I'm 16 and half weeks - exact same gestation as I was when I lost my previous little one so I'm very highly strung right now.

@OnNaturesCourse ugh I hope this time passes quickly for you and how horrible to be worried at this time too. So glad you're feeling better about your results.

And thanks for the reassurance about my 100 day bum adventure... 🤪😂🥲

@MOGMOGMOG85 brilliant phrase, 100 day bum adventure 😂 you should run a countdown on here and we can all cheer you on lol

@MOGMOGMOG85 You have my sympathy! I'm taking 3 a day atm until 16 weeks and I can't wait to stop, I hate it!

@OnNaturesCourse That's so good your level was fine. My cousin had the liver thing, it was ok but she's delivered early and had loads of monitoring.

@SnookyPook Hoping your result is all normal and he can have a few more weeks cooking in there! X

I heard the heartbeat on my home doppler for the first time today 🥰